After a year of dating, my ex boyfriend broke up with me. He is a divorced man and had trouble committing to me throughout which caused me a lot of stress and confusion because he was so in love for the first 6 months. After that time, he never wanted to do anything to strengthen our relationship. He just wanted me to be at his apartment every night and watch him do work on his laptop.
After we hit our 6 month mark, he left our relationship mentally, but still did the motions. During our break up, he said many disrespectful things towards me. Some of the things he said to me was that I was not educated enough to hang with him and one of his friends who was a girl. He never invited me out to hang with him and these "girl" friends of his.
He also said that he was disappointed that I didn't have a life plan or a 401k. I have my masters and work in a public school system. This is just the tip of the iceberg. After 8 or so put downs, he eventually said that his last marriage was affecting our relationship. So, that is why whenever I receive an email or a card from him, I just freeze up and start thinking about all the disrespectful things he said to me.
About 3 months after our break-up, he called me. I didn't call back. He called again and said that he really wanted to speak to me. I wrote him an email stating that I was not comfortable communicating with him via the phone. Since then he has sent me a birthday card, some emails, and a Christmas card. Most of the messages have stated that he was thinking of me. I have barely reciprocated to him. Why is he contacting me and filling me in on his life after treating me so badly and sabotaging our relationship?
After we hit our 6 month mark, he left our relationship mentally, but still did the motions. During our break up, he said many disrespectful things towards me. Some of the things he said to me was that I was not educated enough to hang with him and one of his friends who was a girl. He never invited me out to hang with him and these "girl" friends of his.
He also said that he was disappointed that I didn't have a life plan or a 401k. I have my masters and work in a public school system. This is just the tip of the iceberg. After 8 or so put downs, he eventually said that his last marriage was affecting our relationship. So, that is why whenever I receive an email or a card from him, I just freeze up and start thinking about all the disrespectful things he said to me.
About 3 months after our break-up, he called me. I didn't call back. He called again and said that he really wanted to speak to me. I wrote him an email stating that I was not comfortable communicating with him via the phone. Since then he has sent me a birthday card, some emails, and a Christmas card. Most of the messages have stated that he was thinking of me. I have barely reciprocated to him. Why is he contacting me and filling me in on his life after treating me so badly and sabotaging our relationship?
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
1Opinion
Yes, he obviously regrets of letting you go. But you are doing the right thing not talking to him. You are really strong, it means you know your value and will never let anyone treat you this way again. Nobody deserves that.
It seems to me that he is not very responsible, as he hasn't apologized or anything, that's the worst kind, means that he regrets but he is not taking the responsibility for treating you bad and will most likely continue doing it after a while if you should get back together.
You are absolutely right! He never said "I'm sorry" to me, not once nor took responsibility for any of his hurtful actions and words. Now I know why his ex-wife's family no longer speaks to him. Being sincerely sorry heals so much more than people think
Exactly!
Because he has discovered he was a dick. He has felt the loss of you now, and is a big fat meanie head. I am proud of you for being so strong! You are doing the right thing by not contacting him back. Any guy that puts a Woman down in or during a relationship and during a break up is a loser. When he contacts you again, say via email.. Email him back and say: Surry, i am not edumacated enuff to responn.. He is a jerk sweetie. I am proud of you though!!
Thanks Lesae, you're also right. He is such a loser and I am a real catch. It is his loss! It is easy to get lured into these controlling relationships. At first he is on his best behavior and then reveals his insensitive self.
He's lame. That's why you broke up. But don't underestimate a lame slacker to try and vindicate themselves. I mean his reps on the line!