Why do some guys downgrade?

had a one year relationship with the guy and he disappears for weeks and moves on with another girl not to sound conceited but I thought that I was everything he wanted looks wise and personality but his new girl has nothing on me I feel like I'm way more beautiful, have a better body and teeth. I'm not saying all of this to make me feel better but I've seen this happen quite a lot, why?

i guess it's about personality but what if he liked my personality as well, I feel like I'm giving off the wrong idea here, everything was good he just left me for her and I don't know why :(


Most Helpful Guy

  • he could of been a player or he thinks you'd have a lot of options and leave him anyways and he didn't want to deal with that or could be something you did or didn't do etc


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What Guys Said 5

  • One of three things:

    1. She had qualities other than looks he liked better

    2. You weren't seeing correctly. Perhaps out of bias.

    3. Sometimes guys will "downgrade" after a girl who they feel was the source of a lot of drama because you start to get the idea that those things (the looks, the style, the attitude) are all the sign of a high maintenance, and thus, high drama girl. So you become willing to sacrifice it to find a girl who won't give you drama.

  • No offense, but she's probably got a better personality or fits better with him than you. Looks are not everything. They're not necessarily important at all to a guy. And, part of why he may like her better is that she doesn't put as much emphasis on her looks as you do.

    • As much as you want to think he left something good and went to something bad by choice, that didn't happen. If he left you for her, it's because she offers him something or many things that is better than what you offer him, in his opinion. Instead of asking us, you should probably talk to him, or just forget about him.

  • Maybe guys care for personality after all?

    (can I say oh snap now? I know it's old but pleeeeease)

    • the thing is.. everything was great before he disapeared, I might sound like a total conceited bitch with the attitude I'm giving off but I'm really not we had a really good relationship and he loved my personality not a problem after all... I just don't understand what went wrong :(

    • Are you asking why he "downgraded" or are you asking what went wrong with your relationship?

  • Personality.

    And one thing about you, you do not scream modest.

  • A person can be hideous to one but beautiful to another. He obviousely likes her enough to look past her flaws. We don't decide who we are attracted to, the chemicals in our brain does.

    That's why it pisses me off when I hear one person tell another they can do better, & most of us have heard that remark. Who are they to say on what another finds attractive or not.


What Girls Said 2

  • Everyone has their own tastes in other people and just because they are with someone who looks or acts a certain way doesn't mean that they aren't attracted or willing to try someone who is different. It should really only matter to him. if he is happy and he likes her then that's why he is with her.

  • He may have downgraded on the outside, but I bet he upgraded on the inside. Considering most of your argument was based on you looking better, I bet your personality isn't as ideal as you said it was.