My ex girlfriend had sex with one of my "best friends." Your opinion wanted!

[Anonymous]

Her and I dated over a year ago but we had a friendship going ever since the break up. She said she didn't want to date again because her mom doesn't like us together. Also that her and I need to mature more, maybe that we can try again in a few years during college. Once in a while we would just break the friend boundaries and have sex because we weren't having sex with anyone else. Things worked out great for awhile! We would have sex every few months here and there and maintained our relationship as friends. Until about 5 days ago, I found out that she has had sex with a very good friend of mine. Also it was more than a few times. It happened about 8-10 months ago. Apparently from what her very close friend told me, it could have been even more recent, such as two months ago again. So my question is why would anyone ever do this? Is it because they're selfish and only care about their own feelings or are they jut both horn dogs? Was she holding off on dating so she can bone my friend? Would you in your own opinion consider her a pretentious slut? Also would your forgive either of them?

[Anonymous]

All I read here is the following:

She's a single girl of over a year, who has been completely honest about not wanting to date you again right now, who had sex with someone other than you.

I don't really see a problem here. Besides your apparent jealousy. Especially if you are both still in high school or just out, the term "good friend" is used loosely. Pretty much any guy you're a casual aquaintance with could be considered a "good friend" when you're mad she slept with him. Plus, would you be a pretentious slut for sleeping with someone else? Come on, bringing double standards into your argument just ruins your credibility.

[Asker]

She could have had sex with any guy the flirts with her, but my own best friend?

[Opinion Owner]

My point is, I doubt you would call him your best friend most of the time. In cases like these, a regular old friend can become "my very bestest friend" when you're made she slept with someone. Be honest with yourself. You're mad she slept with someone other than you.

[Asker]

You're completely right I am jealous and mad that she did sleep with someone else. But what hurts the most is her sleeping with my best friend cause I cannot get that disgusting image out of my head, I can never sleep. Him and her have wrecked me

[Opinion Owner]

I understand why you're upset. I was just providing some perspective. I don't know if you wanted a relationship with her or not, but my point was to show how situations like these seem great at first, but can end up very hurtful. Guys often love the idea of a FWB until she sleeps with someone else. But...that's exactly what a FWB is, and a girl is not a slut for doing it either. Those were the rules. You don't have to forgive either of them if you don't want to, I'd be angry too.

[Asker]

I appreciate your opinion and perspective and you're right those were the rules. I probably won't forgive them though, they both have been horrible friends anyways haha.

[tkras]

I can tell you've had sex with one or more of your ex's friends in the past by how you just replied and how stern you are not backing down from the fact his girl banged his best friend. Are you out of your mind? for an ex to go have sex multiple times with your best friend she is a complete and utter whore, there's a un written code to things you do and never ever do and this falls in line with what you never ever should do. People are sent to prison for murder for scenarios just like this one, i don't think women know how a males mind operates. That is complete disrespect and you are telegraphing to you best friend who's girl you banged, you are worthless and mean nada might as well spit in your best friends face doing shit like that. In the mafia they'd kill you just for breaking that rule, thats a big no no in the guy code books. Any other man is fair game but she specifically chose to bang the guys best friend because she intentionally wanted to scar him for life, doing something like that to woman or man causes incredible mental damage and crushes your self esteem. How do i know? this happened to me and i developed odd personality disorder traits, this by all means is an absolute no no.

[CrystalMinds]

Let me get things straight: you broke up a while ago, were friends with benefits but you're mad she had sex with one of your friends?

I don't see what she did wrong here. Would have been the same if it were with someone else than your friend. She's not dating, she doesn't wanna date, she just wants to be single and have the benefits of it, doing whatever she wants (and who-ever she wants).

You don't really have "the right" to be mad at her. It's not like she cheated on you or anything. You broke up, she had sex with you and another guy... she's not your girlfriend anymore.

[katiesmuff]

She is not commited to you or anyone else which means she could have sex with all the guys she wants including you! You seem to think that you still have exclusive rights to her sweet little p*ssy, but that is not the case. Your free to have sex with whomever and as many others as you please also.

[Spirit156]

its hard to know to forgive your friend or not but her? Dude she broke up and kept you on a leash with false hope

Who knows what she was doing in the time you two where "together"

But if your friend is the cause of all this (she really loved him or he made her do it, whatever) id never forgive him also

I haven't experienced something like this luckely, but I can imagine what you feel right now. And I think she would be saying "we didn't have a relationship so its all good"

Well she gave you false hope to someday get together again and you beleaved that.. So its not "all-good"

[michitas]

what a friend...he could of at least told you before hand...

[Anonymous]

Forgive neither. You can always find real friends and a girls who's worth it.