Hi my name is James. I'm 18 years old. Almost 2 years ago when I was 17 I fell in love with this girl who was only 15. Over the 2 year period we had a good relationship. The biggest problem was that her mother didn't approve of me going out with her daughter, because I was 2 years older than her. To me the age difference wasn't significant. I didn't really see any thing wrong with an 15 year old going out with a 17 year old. We had to sneak and see each other. It stressed her out, because she had to worry about bieng caught all the time. Sometimes we almost did. I had to come to her house when her mother wasn't home. Her mother told her neighbors she didn't want me around her neighborhood. So when my ex girl told me to come around her house I had to worry about the her neighbors seeing me, and not getting caught by her mother. Anyway our relationship had our ups and downs like anybody else' s. Recently we just broke up. She said she got tired of having to sneak around to see me. She said even though we had good times together it's not worth it. Now she's 17 and I'm about to turn 19 in April. Before we broke up we had this big argument. I realized it made her mad. She said I never buy her anything, I don't take her anyway where, and she isn't attracted to me anymore. I think she feels like this because when she looks at other boys she sees things that I don't have. Like I don't have the money they have, or the new shoes, and etc. I think she has pity, and feels bad for me. She told me herself she likes this boy that goes to her school. I guess he can offers more things to her than me, and has all the things she is looking for. They are also the same age. Does that mean he is better than me? When I catch the bus in the morning to go to college I see her and her mother on the bus when she is going to school, and her mother is going to work. She ignores me and acts like she never loved me at all. Can you'll give me some suggestions, and reasons on why you'll think she has fallen out of love with me and lost her attraction for me? Thanks a lot. I really do love her, and want to be with her.
Most Helpful Girl
If she is with her mom every time you see her, then it makes sense she wouldn't talk to you. She wouldn't want to give her mom and inclination to believe that you were, or still are, going out. So instead of trying to make uncomfortable small talk, she probably thinks its easier to just ignore you.
Either this girl is trying to get over you, or she already is. Either way, I think you should give her space. She doesn't want to sneak around to date you, and you should try to respect that. If you honestly think that she is the love of your life, that you can't let her slip away, then you can try to become friends with her. Maybe with the approval of her parents first, since that is obviously going to be a hurdle you'd have to jump sooner or later. Remain friends with her until you either earn her parent's trust or she's ready to stand up to her parents about her love life.
It's only a two year difference. Seems bigger when you're younger, but age becomes less important as you grow older. A fifteen year old dating a seventeen year old may not seem acceptable, but a thirty year old dating a thirty two year old isn't going to cause much commotion. Not that you have to wait until you're thirties or anything. Just try not to push her. Let her know where you stand without pressuring her into anything.