Why Does My Ex-girlfriend Ignore Me Now Since We Broke Up?

Hi my name is James. I'm 18 years old. Almost 2 years ago when I was 17 I fell in love with this girl who was only 15. Over the 2 year period we had a good relationship. The biggest problem was that her mother didn't approve of me going out with her daughter, because I was 2 years older than her. To me the age difference wasn't significant. I didn't really see any thing wrong with an 15 year old going out with a 17 year old. We had to sneak and see each other. It stressed her out, because she had to worry about bieng caught all the time. Sometimes we almost did. I had to come to her house when her mother wasn't home. Her mother told her neighbors she didn't want me around her neighborhood. So when my ex girl told me to come around her house I had to worry about the her neighbors seeing me, and not getting caught by her mother. Anyway our relationship had our ups and downs like anybody else' s. Recently we just broke up. She said she got tired of having to sneak around to see me. She said even though we had good times together it's not worth it. Now she's 17 and I'm about to turn 19 in April. Before we broke up we had this big argument. I realized it made her mad. She said I never buy her anything, I don't take her anyway where, and she isn't attracted to me anymore. I think she feels like this because when she looks at other boys she sees things that I don't have. Like I don't have the money they have, or the new shoes, and etc. I think she has pity, and feels bad for me. She told me herself she likes this boy that goes to her school. I guess he can offers more things to her than me, and has all the things she is looking for. They are also the same age. Does that mean he is better than me? When I catch the bus in the morning to go to college I see her and her mother on the bus when she is going to school, and her mother is going to work. She ignores me and acts like she never loved me at all. Can you'll give me some suggestions, and reasons on why you'll think she has fallen out of love with me and lost her attraction for me? Thanks a lot. I really do love her, and want to be with her.

 

What's Your Opinion?

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Most Helpful Opinion

  • If she is with her mom every time you see her, then it makes sense she wouldn't talk to you. She wouldn't want to give her mom and inclination to believe that you were, or still are, going out. So instead of trying to make uncomfortable small talk, she probably thinks its easier to just ignore you.

    Either this girl is trying to get over you, or she already is. Either way, I think you should give her space. She doesn't want to sneak around to date you, and you should try to respect that. If you honestly think that she is the love of your life, that you can't let her slip away, then you can try to become friends with her. Maybe with the approval of her parents first, since that is obviously going to be a hurdle you'd have to jump sooner or later. Remain friends with her until you either earn her parent's trust or she's ready to stand up to her parents about her love life.

    It's only a two year difference. Seems bigger when you're younger, but age becomes less important as you grow older. A fifteen year old dating a seventeen year old may not seem acceptable, but a thirty year old dating a thirty two year old isn't going to cause much commotion. Not that you have to wait until you're thirties or anything. Just try not to push her. Let her know where you stand without pressuring her into anything.

What Girls Said 10

  • She's obviously said she's tired of the sneaking around and everything. She prob truly loves you but finds it difficult with the family situation. Beleive me I've been there and broke up with the awesomest guy ever, to find someone that my family approved of, just to have it not work out. Give her space and time, she may come back to you, in a year or so. That's y she doesn't want you to wait for her.

  • I think she thinks she can do better, and find bigger and better people. Maybe she's taking it as family first, and boyfriend second. I think the best you should do is move on, it's going to be hard, especially since you see her almost everyday. But if she's treating you like this, does the good outweigh the bad? Is she worth waiting for? Is her mom eventually going to accept you for your age difference? You should put some thought into this so you don't end up wasting your time waiting for something that might never happen again. :(

    Hope I helped, xo

  • She loves you girls don't keep exs for friends typically because it's hard to see them day in and out when you still have feelings for them. I hate to say but girls have a harder time letting go then men. so if we're going to let go we have to let go completely being friends just makes it awkward. If you love her don't let her get away don't sneak around about it either go right to her mom tell her you love her daughter and you want to date her and you don't want to be sneaky about it. Love only comes so many times don't let her pass you by break down tell her how you feel don't cry unless it feel as if you should. whatever you do don't do the sneaky thing it may have it thrill at the beginning but she won't betray her mother forever. good luck

  • yAny girl wants to be supported in a relationship. It gives them security. Maybe your more inlove with her than she is with you. if that's the case you need to move on. I mean I was in your positon once. I fell madly inlove with a guy that was 16 and I had JUST turnned 13. He was a big time player and wasn't as inlove with me as I was with him. So we broke up and we are still great friends till today. I have grown up since then so I know more what I want and need in life. I am now 16 and he's 19 so I know more about myself. She may just want to get over you. You have to understand that what a MOTHER says to a daughter is just as important as what a FATHER says to a son. It sinks into their mind and they believe it. My mom told me I was too young to be inlove and what I had with my ex wasn't real and it was puppy love and I eventually believed it and it stressed me out enought to where I gave up and didn't want to try any more, And I'd try and start fights so we'd break up. One day she will realize what she had and MAY want you back. But, you have to realize she's still younger than you and your more independant than she is. You DO need to take her out sometimes and buy her stuff even if its not that much. If she REALLY wants to be with you than she'll except you for YOU and not want to be with someone else just because of money or something like that. I advise you to talk to her one day. Even get the guts to talk to her even if its infront of her mother. She may see that you TRULY love her the way you say you do. Goodluck! :) I hope this helps.

  • if she's with her mom, she probably doesn't want to get in trouble saying hi to you. her mother obviously didn't like you very much, especially if she had neighbors looking out for you. she probably broke up with you because she didn't want to continually hear her mother's disapproving words/criticisms and she wanted a normal relationship where she didn't have to sneak around. it probably has nothing to do with you really.

    i honestly think you should try and move on. yes, you love her and it sucks to get broken up with, but right now is just not the time for you and this girl. you have to let her deal with the break up and you have to give yourself time to heal. you have school and friends and work to worry about and you're really young. love comes and goes all the time. just try and forget about her for now. maybe in the future y'all can be friends or something, but don't force anything.

  • It means that she is insecure, because she's going for people who are trying to offer her things. She doesn't have much herself, and she sees dating as a way to get away from her ridiculously overprotective parents. In short, this means that she's not in love with you, but it's not your fault. All it really means is that her parents run her life, and instead of pleasing her, you've got to start thinking "pleasing mom" because mom's opinion counts in this situation. If you don't have money, but you have a job and you're doing the best you can, that's what counts. You have to have reasonable time to go out, you can't always be working. She thinks these guys she likes are better, but it's only because of the money. She won't love them if they don't have money. So what is there to like really anyway? All she is doing is trying to get by with overprotective parents, and she is not going to be okay with you unless she doesn't have to stress about her parents not liking you. That is a huge burden on somebody. Think of it this way. She is a slave, and her masters are trying to keep her from meeting someone who might damage or steal their property. Now if you had money, on the other hand, you would be of use to her parents because it wouldn't seem like you had any reason to steal anythng from them, and even if you did, they might get to think of themselves as being of the richer class. So now you can see that it is not really your girl's will, but the coercion of her parents that is keeping you apart. It is her decision to obey her parents, which she doesn't really Have to do, but she can be severely punished for having seen you. When she is out of the house, she will be more free, and when she is financially independent, she will be free to date whomever she likes. In the meantime, all you can really do is give her moral support and treat her as a person and as an individual, and respect her, something probably nobody is doing. She is looking for options, such as the ability to go places. You can do what you can to give her the options that really matter. Money is something that really matters, but it is gotten by going to school and procuring a job with steady income and security. If you get things worked out for your relationships as they are projected into the long-term future, you will be able to be a great partner. In short, the guys she is going for is a temporary fix to her problem, and because of their materialistic ways of impressing her, they are showing their insecurity, and they may be covering up their insecurity and long-term deficiency.

  • It's my belief that a breakup occurs when a relationship is broken. So you need a good, clean break. I don't keep in contact with my ex's. I see one around town every once in a while, and he ignored me. But I'm okay with that, because he couldn't offer me what I needed. I don't think it's natural. It would be one thing if you were older and had children with the person, but I really don't think you remain friends with them (especially when you begin dating other people). And usually the people who do end up getting back together (and married). I've seen it within my large group of friends.

    Let her go. If she wanted to foster a relationship, she'd be talking with you. It's not worth it.

  • might be family, stress, work, personal issues, she feels uncomfortable talking to you because it's over between you two, it could be her mom telling her all these reasons, it could be that she's too busy, there's lots of reasons.

  • i think with the money thing it was just an excuse to try to convince her self it was better if you broke up, because yes it was tough to sneak around but I don't think she wanted to blame her mom because that could create a huge problem between them and needed another way out of all the stress even though she still loved you...now that she ignores you its probably because its easier to ignore the feelings she has for you because if she let her self feel for you again she would have to stress her self out again...so I have no doubt that she still loves you, I think she thinks its just easier this way. If your still in the same town when she's 18 her mom won't have as much a say so try to be her friend again somehow and maybe something can form from their in the future...so good luck

  • I wish life was like a movie sometimes, with the happy ever after. but I dunno...life can be cruel. I am 15, and I have a boyfriend who is 19. Both my parents make a big thing out of our age difference but like you said...that dosen't matter. I love him, and he loves me. we've been together for a year now...pretty long time, if you ask me...in fact, its my longest relationship I've ever had. Honestly...i would get tired of sneaking around just to see my boyfriend, but if I had to, I would think its worth it. I used to have to sneak out alot, but my parents wanted honesty, and I gave it to them. Me and my boyfriend no longer hid and started hanging out at each other's place...we have our ups and downs, but as he says...he'll never leave me just because my parents don't want him to be with me.

    Your girl is just trying to get over you, she dosen't hate you (I don't think.) but I bet that she will find that this boy that goes to her school is just another guy.. you just need to prove her your worthy and better than everyone else. it dosen't have to be by money.

What Guys Said 6

  • Don't you get it, you were her forbidden fruit. You brought excitement and suspense. Now the trill is gone. Leave her alone.

  • honesty you would have to ask her

  • im 22 and my ex was only 16 and we broke up a couple of months too. and her mom didn't approve of it either. the advice I can give you is tell her everyday how you feel about her tell her you love her every minute of everyday until it sinks in her mind do everything for her take her out buy her stuff let her know you will never give up on her let her know she's the best thing that's happened to you and let her know she's the first and only priority forever.

  • you have to remember you are both at a young age..

    How you gonna deal with this, well I suggest first of that you don't worry about what you have or have not got. Trust me this very rarely matters to a woman, though it could matter to a young girl but soon she will realise. Generally if your rich that's a bonus but most women are not that shallow and if she is I wouldn't bother...

    You are in a breakup here and I also suggest you search the web for hints andtips of how to deal with this, first off work on you, if she pretends to ignore you do the same, she will also know she is doing and I suspect trying to get a reaction, become neutral say hi wave no more.

    Start to live well, this will get to her, you are behaving like she thought you would and all it will do is push her away, I suspect your miserable with a face to the floor, ? would you want to be with you like this.. no...

    Start being happy, do sport, once see sees you are going if she cares she will test you again, see if you still like her, but it will be a test at this point, give nothing away.

    Become the guy she met, not the guy who lost control and became needy, don't rely on her to make you happy..

    Game plan from now, be happy, give her the gift of missing you, if you see her wave, if she doesn't wave back shrug your shoulders, turust me she won't go aay not thinking of it, she will, and day by day it will get to her. Get another date, not to get at her but for your self esteem, magically she will be interested then..

    mesage me if you found this useful and need anymore.

  • It's called "moving on", and I highly recommend it. The reasons don't matter much; they rarely do.

  • Yeah. We all change as live moves on. No one ever sits still. We change how we are and we change our views of other people and our relationships with them. Most changes are very subtle and we hardly notice them or even not at all, while other are more drastic and happen suddenly. In your case she did just get tired of all the hassle she was having with her mom and in the meantime she started finding friendship and fun with some other guy. Her feelings for him grew as her feelings for you went in the opposite direction. Like they replaced each other. While you were keeping the same thoughts and love for her in your heart, she was replacing her thoughts of you with thoughts of him. I would suggest that you just stay the same guy you are, and don't try to lose the loving feelings you carry for her. Let those dissipate on their own if they must. But watch for opportunities to talk with her and see her again because those opportunities will occur. Take advantage of them. If she really loved you, don't be surprised if that love resurfaces once again, especially if she sees that you've never lost your love for her. Hang in there and good luck!

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