"You deserve better"?

my ex boyfriend told me twice I deserve better when he noticed I was trying to get back together with him. He really hurt me. I thought he cared about me and would try to make us work things out. He kept saying "i don't deserve you hun I'm sorry:(". do you think it might be because he has some kind of problems and he thinks he might hurt me? or that he just isn't interested anymore to get back together again?. I know it could go either way but if someone really loves you it will be hard for them to stay away. he even ignored me lots of times when I tried talking to him. I finally stopped doing all the work. he still has a pic of me and him on his fb and he doesn't know how to delete me off his fb list, he doesn't even talk to me. he gave me his new number long time ago in the summer, met up with me once, made me think everything was OK and promised for next dates like mall, beach, amuzement park and just disappeared:(. I can never forgive him after this.

wow guys I got new news! yesterday was my birthday! I thought I was never going to hear from him but I did and he wished me a "happy birthday:)". I thanked him and told him off in a nice way. was just being honest because he really hurt me. he keeps saying how sorry he is and how he f***ed up and asks me to forgive him. I'm taking things slow now so I don't get hurt again because if I do I'm deleting him for good even from fb.i was so surprised. he never spoke to me for 4 months. we hung out yesterday.


Most Helpful Girl

  • You need to stay away. Trust me in this. He would come to you if he wanted. The more you show him you care the further you push him away. this is the law of attraction.

    I'm in a similar situation as you. and believe me... you lose more and more of your self-respect and get more and more depended.

    if a man wants a girl he usually pursues her. Or the are cowards like my ex. Who blames everything on me, that he did wrong and caused the break up. and goes on with his silly games to hurt and make me jealous.

    stay strong

    • don't play these games

    • i don't know why he still has me on fb?whats so hard to delete me?. he never even took off "in a relationship" has it on since we started dating last year. yes I hope one day I lose feelings for him completly. he could have just been straight up with me. sorry that your going through the same thing.

    • maybe he doesn't delete the picture and Facebook-relationship because he is waiting for finding someone new. Maybe he likes that everyone thinks he has a pretty girlfriend :) but in real life he does not know how to work it out. simply said: he is a coward.

      You deserve someone who is proud of you and wants to be with you & work for it! stay strong!


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What Guys Said 4

  • Well, my wife deserves better, but I'm not gonna tell her that haha.

    But in your situation, I believe he was trying to take the easy way out rather than being honest with you, telling up front he doesn't want you. Or, it is possible he realizes he chooses not to control his actions that hurt you. Either way, you really are better off without him.

  • Trying to make things work out isn't a sure sign that you care. Sometimes letting go of something that doesn't work is a way of caring.

    People is like a piece in a puzzle. All have their own shape and characteristics. You can't simply take two random pieces and make them fit together. Sometimes you can make small adjustments to make them fit better but sometimes they are so different that in order for them to fit together you have to make some major changes.

    Sometimes the most loving way is simply to accept and let go and not force yourself or the other to change so much of themself that they no longer are what they were.

    Just because two pieces can be fit together doesn't always make them a match.

    • well yeah that's why I stopped trying to make things work. its not good when someone won't leave you alone this happened with other guys that I wasn't interested in and I didn't like it lol they wouldn't leave me alone. but I am done with him even if he wanted me back.

  • Hate to tell you, but a guy who is into you will never ever say, go find someone better than me. Same thing with the excuse, "but I don't want to ruin our friendship" no one who loves you romantically would ever say such a thing =/.

    He wants to take the guilt off his mind, that is why he says it, but in my opinion it is terrible, because it makes you think that there is still a possibility so you never get closure.

  • I mean, if he isn't as into getting back together as oh are than you DO deserve better and he might just mean it


What Girls Said 4

  • I think he doesn't want you to be around anymore. He said that to make it easier for both of you, or to ease his own guilt, or to avoid unnecessary drama, whatever it is, his intention is very clear. When he said, "you deserve better hon" I think what he really meant was "i deserve better hon".

    I know it hurts, I've been through this. Seriously, move on. You really DO deserve better than him.

  • Could be a couple of things

    No longer interested and trying to take the easy way out

    Thinks you're more in love with him or serious about things than he is and doesn't want to hurt you

    Neither are good time to move on, if it is a matter of him haveing bad stuff going on leave it alone if he's interested when things settle down he'll call you

  • I'm passing threw exactly the same thing, you deserve better, blah blah blah, they say that to not hurt you , but deep inside they don't care about you anymore and want to move on, because either they find you boring , or too annoying ... It took me time to get over my ex, I still feel anger every time I think about him, how I believed everything he said, and then Bam ! My heart was broken.

    I can't forgive him either ...

    But you have to move on :) Good luck :)

  • It sounds like a line to me. Like, "It's not you, it's me." "I just don't deserve you."