Need advice on a friend who's a perfect match for me

Please, please, please read the entire post!

The guy I'm crushing on is my fellow classmate. He just finished his second semester of his master's while I just finished my first semester. He's in ROTC and will be commissioned next December right before he graduates while I will be around until May 2014. He's set on serving on active duty for eight years and is hoping to be stationed in Europe.

I really like this guy, but I'm not sure if he likes me back. We're friends, and of course, being in the same cohort, we're in the same boat in reference to academics (i.e., we're both about to start our theses, both taking the same classes, both have the same amount of homework, etc.). We study together before any exam, but it's usually as a cohort (made up of three girls and two guys--including both of us).

I'm not sure if he likes me because we haven't really spent too much time together. The obvious course of action would be to get to know him more, spend more time together, and potentially ask him out in the near future.

My question is: Despite knowing that he will only be around for another year and that he'll be gone for the following eight years thereafter, and I will be continuing into a PhD program, is it really worth it to put myself out there and ask him out? Keep in mind, however, that I'm a little reserved, sometimes come off as intimidating (according to my female friends), am not interested in a simple fling, and haven't dated in four years.

I really like this guy, and he's definitely the marriage-material type even though he's locked into service for eight years. We have a lot in common, which makes it hard to get over him. My gut tells me to go for it, but I'm just afraid of rejection...not to mention the fact that the relationship would already have an ending date.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Go for it and deal with the bad later, have some fun while he's still there and who knows he might change his mind or get stationed some where else and same for you, you may end up marrying this guy and move with him and finish your degree else where.


What Guys Said 5

  • No, you only want him because he's difficult to obtain.

  • Sounds like infatuation to me. Time will tell you to move on. That's all I can tell you.

  • Always go for it, don't live your life with regrets.

  • Well if you have a lot in common he won't care much , some of the guys don't care if they have a lot of things in common with them girl , but he's going for eight years so I would think you would move in after those years , so ask him now , and if he rejects . You have eight years to get over him


What Girls Said 1

  • That depends... If you two can establish a serious, good-based and strong relationship, you could keep on seeing each other and keep on dating while he's in Europe, you could visit him, he could visit you, ... But it could be that's he's a bit reluctant to start something just because he'll be gone for 8 years, that's quite a long time.

    You could go for it, but keep in mind that chances are he'll reject because of the 8 years in Europe (or the fact that he's not that into you).