Ex girlfriend crushed me completely

[Anonymous]

I split up up with my girlfriend of 3 years a couple months ago I loved her but weren't progressing very far in the relationship, so we decided to separate for a bit and see how we felt. Last month I turned on my old computer tablet she used to use every so often to find her Facebook saved on the app. I know I shouldn't have looked but curiosity got the better of me and I found out she had started seeing a new guy and messaging him every day a few weeks after we broke up, I deleted the app shortly after but it devastated me.

I feel totally crushed by this and feel like if she wanted to she other people she shouldn't have strung me along so long and lied to me. I sometimes wish I didn't delete the information from my tablet because I want to know what is going on, even though I know it was the right thing to do.

She was my friend long before we started seeing each other and now it feels like a huge chunk of me is gone. My first instincts is just to move away so I won't have to see them together and just start a new. But I don't know what to do with the pain of being forgotten like I was nothing.

I have a few friends that I asked about this and their ideas are usually stupid ie run over her cat, throw a brick through her window. I live in a small town we will bump into each other one day I don't feel like I can face her as I still love her and at the same time feel angry at the betrayal

[missymarkath]

well if the two of you were broken up, she has the right to start seeing or dating someone. you do too! maybe she needs to date other people to see if you are really the right person for her.

again, you can always be doing the same!

i can totally understand where you are coming from though. it is always harder to see your ex be the first one to move on.

it is a good thing you deleted the app though. you would be driving yourself NUTs and be obsessing over checking it. ignorance is bliss!

I am sure after 3 years you are NOT just forgotten. I was with my ex for 3.5 years and I think about him everyday. Even my exes that SUCKED and I was only with for a few months I think about. Maybe not everyday but I still definitely think about them. You just don't forget about someone you spent a good chunk of your life with.

Just keep yourself busy. Time will heal all wounds as tough as it is to hear..it IS the best and only medicine for moving on.

And who times, maybe things will be fine between the two of you and work out.

Only TIME will tell.

She was not betraying you at all. she didn't cheat on you if you were separated/broken up/ whatever you want to call it.

[Anonymous]

You don't know that she broke up to see other people ... She may have met the guy after you broke up, since you said it'd been a few weeks. The best thing you can do is drown your sorrows with fun and some downtime to yourself and wait for time to pass. It definitely takes time. Who knows? You might meet someone new yourself and it may progress wonderfully.

[Asker]

I know I should but it just felt that dating someone else and flirting with them within a few weeks of a split wasn't what I expected from her. The day we split she said she still loved me and had feeling for me and now it feels like it was just lip service.

[Opinion Owner]

It's hard to tell. Either way, dwelling on it only hurts you. Even the most hateful thoughts that you can come up with don't effect her in any way ... but they make you feel like sh*t! Sorry you had to go through this -- but everyone gets crushed a time or two and falls in love again. Just trust that it will happen. Humans are wired for this.

[gonyr]

if you were no longer together then who she dates is none of your business. just because she started dating a few weeks later doesn't mean that's what she wanted the whole time