My ex wished me Merry Xmas....

But I didn't respond. He was abusive during our whole relationship and lied to me alot. He wasn't even able to break up with me, he decided to ignore me, so I had to find him. When we broke up he told me many many bad things, then I still tried to win him back, but he ignored it. I haven't spoken him for a few months.

I don't understand why he decided to wish me Merry Xmas but I didn't respond to protect my feelings. Was is it a bad idea or should I wished him too? I still miss him and I am not over it.


Most Helpful Guy

  • he probably was just thinking about you. during holidays regardless of how relationships are/were we tend to think about them.

    I don't think you should feel about not responding and based on your description of the guy and the relationship I think you have every right not to respond.

    You mentioned you miss him and are not over him. Do you miss him specifically or just having a relationship and someone you know who is out there thinking about you and caring for you? I ask because it doesn't sound like he deserves you

    • I don't know what I miss about him, after BU he immediately started to date another women. He acted really like he didn't care much during the whole relationship. I really think that I miss just someone who would think of me. I don't know it was like I got my hopes up that maybe he changed. But I don't think that happened. I decided I won't wish him happy NY and won't talk to him because I don't think he cares.

    • it's killer hard in a break up because you get wishy washy for the person even though you know that they are not good for you. I've even gotten back with a few exes cause I missed them (it never worked). It seems that mostly we miss a person loving, thinking, and caring about us. You'll find someone who will make you forget how you ever felt about that guy who didn't deserve you.

What Guys Said 3

  • The least you can do is ignore him, given his past lyihg, abuse, and cowardice. Do't feel ashamed of anything you do to him after this experience. If you're nice, he will take that as weakness, and try to hurt you again, no doubt!

  • If you don't like him, don't talk to him. There is nothing good that can come out of talking to him. You will just wind up where you were before.


What Girls Said 3

  • Just ignore him. He doesn't mean you any are not obligated to respond

    Also if he sent you a text, there is a big chance what you got was a forwarded text send to all the contacts in his phone

  • I know how you feel, my ex did this too. He broke it off with me saying some dreadful things like "I don't want anything to do with you anymore" and "these last few days have been the happiest I have been in ages" (we were on a break for the few days) so I assumed he was ending it for good. I was very hurt. Then on Xmas say he wished me a happy Christmas. In ways this made me feel happy he was thinking of me, but also awful because we started having a convo, and now these past few days he hasn't contacted me. I refuse to make the first contact. Maybe he will send you a happy new years message?

    Maybe you could wish him a happy new year, keep it concise and amicable. "happy new year, hope all is well :)" or something like that. He will understand you needed your time to think things over, but are still thinking of him. I mean do you still have feelings for him?

    • I do, but he doesn't like me anymore so I am afraid if I write him I would then wait for his answer and I am sure he will never write me again...

    • How do you know he doesn't? My ex told me he wanted nothing more to do with me. Then after time says he still has feelings. You can't assume anything with some guys, they're very complicated. Don't expect an answer just wish him a happy new year and if he doesn't respond then he is the weaker person and you can just say f*** him. You know then you deserve better

  • It's not a bad or good idea that you didn't say anything back. But it shows that you have inner strength for not responding and you're on your way to healing.