Is he seriously in love?

I have been seeing a guy for the past month and he officially asked me to be his girlfriend. During the getting to know each other aspect of the relationship he was very distant and put no effort so I broke it off. A week later he came back saying how he had strong feelings for me but he doubted how I felt because he was never sure of why I wanted to be with him. He tested me in the past by treating me badly and he realized I did want to be with him and I did care for him. He's emotionally damaged because he had his heart broken by an ex who he was with for 5 years and the girl after her used him for sex and left. He's a sweet, nice guy but very distant even now. He says he loves me because he trusts me and knows I won't hurt him or cheat on him (ex did). I just don't understand how he can fall in love so easily. He calls, text and spends time with me but not enough as he's always with his friends. But we have the same group of friends so do end up hanging out together. Plus his friends don't know that we are together because he doesn't want them getting involved in our relationship. Also, they are critical of him and think I'm too good for him. If I show him interest, no one believes it instead they tease him saying he likes me and that it will never happen. Anyways, I think what throws me off is that we don't have very meaningful conversations about each other. Neither of us likes to talk about our personal life since I'm emotionally closed and at times I feel whenever we meet in person we just always end up making out instead of having any real conversation. I'm not sure if he's being sincere as I don't want to get hurt either. What do you guys think?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Sometimes that happens, but there is a fine line between infatuation/lust and love. He's on guard because he's had his heartbroken and men handle things differently then women about that. Men recover from those much slower and are much more guarded no matter how "tough" they seem. Plus now he's got another obstacle with being told you're too good for him. Relationships are emotional investments for men and there is no way he's going to invest time, energy and feelings into something he thinks he'll fail at. I'd have a conversation with him.

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      You described him fairly well as that is how I see him and I've also told him that to which he agrees. The only thing I don't understand is how he can say he loves me. But I have to be honest I have trust and commitment issues with people so it could be my insecurity. He's put effort since he asked me to be his girlfriend and even prior to that question he asked me to give him reasons why I liked him and if I seriously want to be with him because that is why he would put in the effort. Otherwise no.