I can't sleep with my boyfriend, help!

I need some advice from people who have been through this!

My boyfriend and I are very close, we currently live in two different cities because I'm finishing school. I've found that whenever we are visiting, I just can't sleep in the same bed as him! I just lay awake most of the night, or get very restless. I've had this issue before with other guys.

I'm just not good at sharing a bed. I get too warm, I don't like being touched or cuddled all night, and he loves to just hold me all night. Even when I move away, he pulls me back, or puts his leg on top or something. He also snores, and is a bit of a "bed stealer".

I don't know what to do! what helped you? We want to move in together and I'm very concerned about this issue. I haven't really brought it up with him yet. Help!


Most Helpful Guy

  • One of my exes were exactly the same, I suggested a queen size bed and she told me that its not the case of wanting or not wanting me near her at night, but after sex, she plans to sleep, so she doesn't want me disturbing that, so the bed was big enough, she wore ear plugs due to noise, and always had the window open, which unfortunately was on my side, but I dealt with that, and it went very well, this was not the reason we decided to go our own ways, but the size bed and efforts, she slept well after, and I never had to sleep on the sofa again lol,x


What Guys Said 8

  • Just tell him how it makes you uncomfortable. I'm sure you can work things out.

    Also, I think he just like to hold you in his arms, and there's nothing wrong with that. Perhaps, you can have 2 beds in a room, then share a bed with a space, then you can cuddle him. This takes a lot of time but it makes you used with your boyfriend.

  • Lots of people are like this. My lover and I end up in separate beds for exactly the same reasons. It is nothing personal. It is not a love issue and may never be overcome. Have a good, satisfying session of sex before going to sleep and begin the night in the same bed, Wander off later when he is asleep (ideally) or when you get restless. Some time in a non-intimate setting, explain this to him. I know it's not "the way things should be" but it is "the way it is". If he doesn't understand, he has a maturity issue to deal with.

  • Not seeing each other very much can't help. It'll probably sort itself out when you move in together. If he doesn't see you much it's understandable he wants to hold you - but it isn't really comfortable to do it for long!

    Equally we all like familiarity when we sleep and being in a bed that isn't your usual one will probably keep you awake, even if it is your boyfriends. I bet you will become accustomed to it and he will naturally stop holding you so much.

    We are all bed stealers at heart ;-)

  • Turn the fan up high and use a lot of pillows, when you're not with him sleep with a lot of pillows so you get used to sharing space with them.

  • you can't do anything about it unless you get used to it

  • Hey, you're not alone! I've worked shift work my whole life and I've been married now for 10 years. My beautiful wife snores like nobodies business, but even if she didn't she'd keep me awake.

    I end up sleeping with my head at the foot of the bed opposite her with a pillow over my head. And sometimes I can sleep.. But truthfully, I always sleep better during the day when she's at work.

    You could try a natural sleep aid like melatoninwhen you're with him, or use a noisemaker (rain / thunder sounds.. there's a free one at soundsleeping.com I use..) Hope you get some rest! =)

  • King size bed for the win.


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