Why am I so scared to move on?

My boyfriend and I broke up about 3 1/2 weeks ago, and it has been pretty hard. We were getting into fights about non-sense and he just didn't think it was worth it to working things out. We haven't really spoken since, just a little here and there. I am going on a double date next Friday and I am really excited but also really nervous. My mind always goes into this over-thinking mode and I come up with scenarios that mayt/may not happen. I keep thinking "what if I really fall for this guy, and the my ex decided wants me back" I know I am thinking way too into the future and that probably will not happen at all, but the thought still scares me. Any one else ever get this way?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Well casual dating is fine in fact, it helps to show you that your ex wasn't everything you think he was. However, you DO NOT want to let yourself become romantically involved with ANYONE unless the situation with your ex and your feelings for him are completely resolved. As for why you are scared to move on, you aren't over him yet and the only thing that fixes that is time and distance. You need to break all forms of contact with him and allow yourself to meet new people openly. The sad truth is that if you are looking for some sort of closure or validation to help you wrap up your feelings for your ex, you may not find it. Not every relationship will end like the closing of a chapter. To this day I still look bad on a few chapters in my life and think "why? It could have been perfect. I just need answers" - that's just life. As Aercz stated, yes, you should move on. Move forward and take this as an experience, and cherish it for making you stronger.


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What Guys Said 1

  • You should move on. There's is a reason why he's your ex.

    If you ever decide to go back to him, I'm sure you'll just encounter those nonsense fights and dramas. Go into a fresh new world as a single. Experience the fun of dating.


What Girls Said 2

  • I'm just like that. My boyfriend and I have been broken up about the same amount of time and I want to move on. I've been hanging out with this guy a lot but I still feel guilty about being interested in him because I'm not over my ex...it's irrational. The truth is, if you're fighting non stop and he isn't willing to work it out, you can't wait around for him. Whenever I start over thinking, I just stop and tell myself that I deserve someone who is nicer to me and will stand up and work with me in our relationship. Not some guy who's going to give up and throw everything away. Have fun on your date and don't feel bad for a second. Just remind yourself how much better you deserve :)

  • Well those thoughts are totally normal becuase you just broken up VERRRRRY recently and you are still in love with this guy. But hey, go on the double date and I can guarantee you that if you DO fall for this guy (not straight away mind you) then you will totally move on. I think time heals all wounds and I wouldn't be over thinking this right now if I were you.

    My ex dumped me after a month and I was head over heels but now I am dating other people, staying busy and hanging out with friends and he is now asking to get back with me but I have moved on after 2 months. I reckon if you were fighting alot, this was not a very healthy relationship and you two just didn't gel. Never think that things will change because if you do get back with him, soon you will find out why you broke up in the first place.

    I reckon just keep busy and enjoy yourself. Yes you can be hurt... you have to let it all out and then you will be fine. Trust me. I know it hurts like hell but you will be fine. I give you 2 months. I hope you are OK :) xo