Is ignoring all communication from an ex, good? Like not answering texts or calls?

So my question is, if ignoring all communication from an ex okay. I mean I really like the guy, and I think I may even love him. We are still friends, but I was wondering if I don't text him, and call, if it would make him want me back.

he broke up with me because he is obviously afraid of relationships, and such... but I am willing to do anything to get him back... even if it breaks my heart that I don't respond to texts and calls for a while...

please help me... I miss him...

Updates:
let me make this clear! is was never abusive, if anything he was the most wonderful man I ever dating. we had soo much in common, and we always acted silly together. you know when you feel like this guy is one in a million. well this one way. he proved to
me that good guys do exist. he even came to visit me for an hour before he got on his plane to visit family! and no he didn't find anyone. I am not saying stop all communication! just for a few days! and for the guy that said he wasn't my friend. HE IS!

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Gotta swallow the pride

    Put your heart in a blender

    Don't stop responding to calls or texts, that might just upset him more because if the relationship was like this, it's probably tearing him up just to make the decision to split. Tell him you miss him, and that you love him, that you aren't sure how to live without him.

    Something Sappy

    From a Maple Tree

    Pancakes, anyone?

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    • Come on now. Are you serious by telling someone who broke up with you that you miss him aren't sure how to live without him??? That's just crazY! The guy has to work hard to get her. I disagree with your advice. She does not have to ignore his calls but she does not have to say those too. He has to prove to her if he really wants her back and care for her.

    • It might not be what I would do, but I'm giving her advice to keep the options open (Much like you did). If she waits around for him to prove he's interested, it might be too late. Better to have tried and failed then to have never tried at all, hm? She probably doesn't have to go to the extreme of saying you aren't sure how to live without them, though. That's very true. Oh, and she said herself that she DID, in fact, miss him. That's just how she feels. It's her choice.

    • Nikie, I agree with you. Thanks

What Guys Said 11

  • Thee are times when you have no choice, for your own SANITY! I wouldn't call it 'good', though. In general we don't have enough honest communication in our culture, so I try to be nice and respond even when I don't want to!

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  • Not just good: necessary. You haven't begun to break up until you do it.

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  • Whoa. You are seriously about to make a mistake. Your question is loaded full of emotion and completely lacks logic.

    Problem number one is that you are not a friend with this guy. There is no such thing as a friendship when one person is seriously falling for the other, but the other doesn't feel the same in return. It is called unreciprocated love and it hurts like heck.

    I happened to be in your situation, only the girl I fell for didn't care for me as anything more than a friend. No matter what I tried, be it giving her constant attention, ignoring her, expressing my feelings for her---nothing worked. The problem is, sometimes people just don't fall for you. It is a blow to your ego, but true.

    Think about it for a moment. You, by your own admission, told us that he is "obviously afraid of relationships". That means he's either immature, is not over one of his ex's, fears commitment, doesn't know how to love or a combination of all of the above. Wowzers! Does that sound like someone you can be happy with in the long run? Of course not!

    You need read the words you typed above. Emotions are all fine and dandy in a healthy relationship, but you don't have one of those. You're on feelings overdrive and he isn't going to meet you even half way. That doesn't work. Trust me, when I finally gave up chasing my unrequited love, it took me over four months to finally be over her.

    You must stop talking nonsense about wanting to get your heart broken. I KNOW WHAT THAT FEELS LIKE AND IT IS BRUTAL. Your best long-term approach should be to cut off all communication with them forever. Every time you'll see him in the future, you're not going to be capable of seeing him only as a friend. It doesn't work like that when you've fallen for a guy that hard.

    You must find other things to fill in the voids that he will leave once you cut things off. It isn't easy, but trust me, I've been there and back. A broken heart is a short and narrow path to depression, which for reasons I don't think I need to explain, is extremely bad for your physical and mental health.

    Any guy that shows warning signs of not wanting to be in a relationship

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    • First of all. he and I were doing verrrry well!!! he was an amazing guy, and soo sweet, and full of life. we loved being around each other. he even drove to see me for a half hour before he had to drive to the airport too visit his mom. in that week he was gone, we talked but not a lot. not only that but when I saw him, he seemed distant. his ex girlfriend, was so insane, and went to a metal hospital for 2 months. that's why he is afraid. I mean everyone has their problems, but he had to care for

    • You're making excuses for him. His ex is no reason why he can't commit to you now. In a court of law, do you judge someone based upon the actions of their mother, father, boyfriend or so on? No, you have to own up to your own behavior. He isn't doing that. If he wants you, he'll put aside the past and move on. If he's not capable, there's no chance it will work out. I'm being as blunt as I can, based upon past experiences and those of my friends.

    • I am making no excuse for him. and infact I wrote out a better question. with more details

  • If you want him back then no contact is a bad idea. You only do that when you are trying to forget someone and move on with your life.

    On the same token, if you do want him back, don't incessantly contact him and make him feel smothered because then you will just come across as desperate and obsessive. You have to strike a balance. If its meant to be, he will get over his fear of relationships and go back to you. You just have to take life as it comes.

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  • it might make him want you back but you can't risk it.. especially if you love him

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What Girls Said 6

  • Well, he might start giving up on you if you stop answering his phone calls and he might think that you are just mad at him. My suggestion would be to answer his text, but wait a little while before you answer them-make yourself seem like you are busy. Making yourself unavailable by ignoring him completely is not going to make him want you anymore, and he is just going to start questioning why he even bothers anymore.

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  • if you want to get back with him then text him

    but I wouldn't . I just ignore everything an ex boyfriend says or texts, you don't know what is lies and it's just distracting. I just let go. especially if it was an ugly break up.

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  • Flat out ignoring isn't a good suggestion, but having no contact is. Talk to him one last time and tell him you need time and space to move on. Let him know you just can't talk to him because its too difficult right now. If he is a good person he will understand. Then once he knows your not just being rude and ignoring him, that you are trying to move on you can start the no contact rule.

    I did this with my ex, I told him I needed space to heal and then didn't go online and made myself impossible to reach. Funny thing was, once he saw that I was getting space to move on, he started contacting me a lot and leaving me messages. If he wrote me a lot then I would be polite and respond, but never let him know where I was or what was going on in my life. After a few weeks he became desperate to have me back in his life. I probably could have worked things out with him and gotten back together, but being his ex made me see a different side of him so I just walked away.

    Just ignoring him is childish, but if you have no contact and are polite about it and he knows you are just trying to move on... then it could work.

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  • Hey I was wondering how you guys came about after the few months. Did you guys get back together? Did you ignore him?

    From my experience, I have ignored him and had no contact with him usually consisting of a week or a few days and he would call and text me a lot and even leave me emails. He even tried to get my attention through Facebook.

    Yes it's a bit degrading from a certain point of view, but I admit I liked it because it showed me he still thought about me and cared and we eventually talked. I know that much that he still misses me and loves me and still wants to be friends. He doesn't want to lose me. But we are still not together. That's the hard part. There's a lot of reasons behind the not getting together and break up, but I'm still wishing we could fix up those problems and our attitudes.

    Hopefully you did what was right for you. Ignoring a person can mean him thinking you're a bitch or him making the effort to do the dirty work and come back to you. That's a bit mean but it at least proves that him breaking up was his decision and now he has to prove that he wants you back in his life.

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  • Yeah it's smart, makes him go crazy, and makes you get control. but sometimes replying grouchy and uninterested is also good

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