My girlfriend and I have a beautiful child together. We been through a lot of ups and downs on our relationship but at the end of the day always have each other. During and after her pregnancy she gain like 40 lbs all together. Lots of you probably will think that this is wrong but I don't find her as attractive as before. She always complain about her body but will never do anything about it and her bad nutrional habits I feel are getting worse and worse (sodas and fast food almost everyday). I know this is awful for your body and throw in there her cigarette smoking is a recipe for health problems at a very young age. I have try to take her to the gym with me or do some workout video but she don't take it seriously and never wants to push herself. I'm not in amazing shape or anything like that but I work out every now and then but I played soccer in a weekly basis a lot of times more than twice a week. Every time I bring the weight gain subject she tells me I'm a d*** and that I should love her no matter if she is fat or not( bs if you ask me). Is getting worse and worse and I'm getting annoyed I'm getting ready to get my summer body back on plus outdoor soccer is around the corner( hate winter pretty much hibernate but still eat good and take care of my figure lol). I'm ready to design my new workout plan and buy supplements to help me achieve my fitness goals (no peds by the way). How can I get my girlfriend to buy into this and change her habits?
Most Helpful Girl
I understand that this is a very delicate situation for you. Here are a few guidelines from a woman's perspective.
Never, EVER metion her weight! Like, NEVER! This is the golden rule.
There is only one exception to this rule, and that is that you are allowed to comment ONLY when she asks. Here is how to do it without getting your head ripped off!
If she says something like "I'm getting fat", "I feel crappy", "My jeans don't fit anymore", etc, here's how to proceed...
Woman: "Wow, these jeans never used to fit this snug. I'm getting fat!"
Man: "No, you're gorgeous, babe. But you know what, I've been feeling pretty crappy myself lately. (White lie here.) Why don't we start eating a little better? It would be so much easier with your help!"
See what MAN just did here? He convinced WOMAN to eat healthier without making her feel bad about her appearance, and made it sound like it was her idea. Here's another example.
Woman: "I hate this dress. It makes me look fat!"
Man: "You're not fat, honey. You're beautiful! Why, have you been feeling a little different lately?"
Woman: "Well, sort of. I can't get all of this weight off!"
Man: "Well frankly, I've been feeling a little crappy myself without soccer. Is there anything like that that you'd ever be interesting in taking? I hear bellydancing is pretty fun."
Basically, you want to suggest healthy choices in a non-judgemental way. Also, condition her to feel good after doing healthy things by "rewarding" her. When she comes home from her dance class, ask her to do a sexy striptease for you. When she cooks a healthy meal, tell her how awesome it tastes. And go for walks together (or do another healthy activity) and enjoy your bonding time. This will show her that healthy lifestyle choices can be FUN!