My girlfriend keeps gaining weight. I don't know how to help her

My girlfriend and I have a beautiful child together. We been through a lot of ups and downs on our relationship but at the end of the day always have each other. During and after her pregnancy she gain like 40 lbs all together. Lots of you probably will think that this is wrong but I don't find her... Show More

Most Helpful Girl

  • I understand that this is a very delicate situation for you. Here are a few guidelines from a woman's perspective.

    Never, EVER metion her weight! Like, NEVER! This is the golden rule.

    There is only one exception to this rule, and that is that you are allowed to comment ONLY when she asks. Here is how to do it without getting your head ripped off!

    If she says something like "I'm getting fat", "I feel crappy", "My jeans don't fit anymore", etc, here's how to proceed...

    Woman: "Wow, these jeans never used to fit this snug. I'm getting fat!"

    Man: "No, you're gorgeous, babe. But you know what, I've been feeling pretty crappy myself lately. (White lie here.) Why don't we start eating a little better? It would be so much easier with your help!"

    See what MAN just did here? He convinced WOMAN to eat healthier without making her feel bad about her appearance, and made it sound like it was her idea. Here's another example.

    Woman: "I hate this dress. It makes me look fat!"

    Man: "You're not fat, honey. You're beautiful! Why, have you been feeling a little different lately?"

    Woman: "Well, sort of. I can't get all of this weight off!"

    Man: "Well frankly, I've been feeling a little crappy myself without soccer. Is there anything like that that you'd ever be interesting in taking? I hear bellydancing is pretty fun."

    Basically, you want to suggest healthy choices in a non-judgemental way. Also, condition her to feel good after doing healthy things by "rewarding" her. When she comes home from her dance class, ask her to do a sexy striptease for you. When she cooks a healthy meal, tell her how awesome it tastes. And go for walks together (or do another healthy activity) and enjoy your bonding time. This will show her that healthy lifestyle choices can be FUN!

    Good luck!

    • Beautiful answer :) You sound like an excellent communictor!

    • jan jan has this broken down to a science.

      she can read people like a book haha

    • A degree in psych opens your eyes to a lot of things! Just don't use your power for evil. :P