I guess it's due to the pregnancy blues, something like that. You can't blame no one in this case,it's normal,but you can start slow. Mothers are usually stressed out about nearly everything. One of them yeah their body.. so you should bring her out since you also work out right, bring the baby also take it as a family day at least once a week, don't let her just stay at home...sooner or later when she get use to it then everything will be fine. There's still this annoying hormones messing with her body and brain so yeah. Start slow..go out ,walk a bit because I guess she cannot run right...so just start with walking then cardio.
She's right, you are a d***. She had a kid, for God's sake. Of course she's put on extra weight. Let her rest for a while and wait until she's ready to get back in shape. You should not be forcing her.
And really? It's BS that you should love her no matter what she weighs? That's actually pretty sick. Poor thing had to dedicate herself to you.
Red Smartie, you don't even know how long ago it was that she had the kid yet you are so quick to crusify him and call him names. Is that just because you have some excess weight and this answer makes you feel bad if some guy you ever cared for felt this way about you?
I'm 5'4 and 120 now but yes, I used to be fat as a child. I know firsthand how hard it is to lose weight. It's really irritating how people claim that they are "just concerned for their health" when it's obvious that it's only for selfish reasons. And honestly, I don't remember vows saying, "Till death do us part or when you get fat." If he really did love her he wouldn't be forcing her to lose weight. It's her body.
And seriously bitch, don't be so quick to jump to conclusions about me.
way to jump to conclusions, he's not 'critiquing' her weight gain, it's more that he's worried for her health in the future. in addition, everyone's attractiveness decreases as their weight goes up, so it's normal it would bother this guy if she continues to gain weight. pull your head out of your feminist ass and welcome to reality.
Just because someone has a kid doesn't mean you have to be a freaking cow. Fine she doesn't have time to excercise but as he said, she just keeps shoving fatty foods down her mouth.
Oh, stop. You are too damn sensitive. You need to get a hold on your f***ing emotions. I'm not a bitch, I simply gave you a reality check on how ridiculous you look. And if you didn't look like that much of a damn fool, you wouldn't have 4 down votes in counting and other users coming to correct you. He's not FORCING her to lose weight. Wtf, are you DELUSIONAL? He's here to ask for help and suggestions on how to approach this. Stop projecting your insecurties with your fat onto him!
Maybe you could try to explain that living a more healthier lifestyle is better for y'alls CHILD.. I have a one year old.. went from 125 to 175 ( at 5'9'') while I was pregnant. It felt like it took FOREVER to lose the weight.. my hubby, however, was completely fine with it. He was so caring and understanding.. I cut back the calories, fat, and carbs, walked or jogged with baby in jogging stroller, and now I am back to a healthy 130. I knew that if it were up to my hubby, he wouldn't mind either way, as long as I'm still me.. I did it for my daughter. She is the one I want to grow old for, see her get married and have babies, etc. Maybe if you try that approach in a super caring demeanor, she will look at your concerns from a different stand point. Good luck.
I think she's being selfish and possibly lazy. If she has other things going on mentally or something, then I understand her side but otherwise, she's being selfish. No one is obligated to stay attracted to someone no matter what ... Just tell her how you truly feel, be sweet but honest...
Losing weight after a baby is hard especially with the diet she is on. I recommend maybe getting her to do some light excercise together...something like YOGA...! You guys should do it together...it makes you more flexible and is good for sex ;) lol
a few of my friends had some babies recently - all still struggling to lose the weight. whenever I bring it up they go into snooze mode yet they complain about the weight gain and all. I was able to interest them with dance classes (striptease and belly dance classes). maybe you can ask one of her friends to join her or something :)
I am pregnant with twins so I kno what she is feeling its really hard... Just don't push her to do the "hard" stuff Imma health fanatic and I couldn't picture it... So take her out on walks or go to the mall go on bike rides, the fun stuff that will get her goin... Better yet find a babysitter and take her dancin
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
The girls here are going to say you should love her unconditionally.
I would say to them, let's see your boyfriends smack you all around a bit and watch how long that "unconditional love" lasts.
Tell her if she doesn't start making a visible effort to regain her health you're breaking up with her.
Cold, but that's the only thing that's going to work, plain and simple.
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3 Reply
Opinion Owner
+1 y
I love how three people downrated me because "I'm mean" but they're unable to provide any counter argument.
I think it is a little cold, but I understand your point as a man. Men cannot understand what it feels like to have your body go through a complete 180 in less than a year to have a child, and then have your partner, the father of your child, to say "you're so ugly now." It's really emotional and you can't expect change over night.
U two are not compatible nor does she wants a better health for herself. It will only get worse, she will not change based on what you said. I would dump her, otherwise you will start to resent her and be very unhappy. Sorry about this but, it is what it is. Good luck.
I have kids too. And having kids doesn't make you fat. And yes, the Babbitt is terrible. I will never be able to live with some like that.
This is a problem that can be worked out. Tossing the person aside without even trying is a very bad way to go about life in my opinion and is a bit immature.
he tried all diff. things with her and set examples for her. she is just not that type to care about health and all. otherwise, she would have done it. these are individual habits from young. he said she has been smoking for a long time.
what I gave is an honest answer, but, no one wants to hear the truth. I am actually surprised I only got three down votes.
those who doesn't face the reality are living in a bubble.
i think what you should do is tell her you do love her and that its because you love her that you are scared for her health and that you don't want to lose her early in life due to the health implications of her lifestyle
Keep being her friend and don't critize he; I'm sure she awares that she overweight. But keep encourage to lose weight if that's what's she wants to do.
walking is great exercise, so is swimming. Fast food never helps anyone. Offer to get healthy together. Fast food will make you feel lowsy as fruit and healthy stuff wont.
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I guess it's due to the pregnancy blues, something like that. You can't blame no one in this case,it's normal,but you can start slow. Mothers are usually stressed out about nearly everything. One of them yeah their body.. so you should bring her out since you also work out right, bring the baby also take it as a family day at least once a week, don't let her just stay at home...sooner or later when she get use to it then everything will be fine. There's still this annoying hormones messing with her body and brain so yeah. Start slow..go out ,walk a bit because I guess she cannot run right...so just start with walking then cardio.
She's right, you are a d***. She had a kid, for God's sake. Of course she's put on extra weight. Let her rest for a while and wait until she's ready to get back in shape. You should not be forcing her.
And really? It's BS that you should love her no matter what she weighs? That's actually pretty sick. Poor thing had to dedicate herself to you.
Red Smartie, you don't even know how long ago it was that she had the kid yet you are so quick to crusify him and call him names. Is that just because you have some excess weight and this answer makes you feel bad if some guy you ever cared for felt this way about you?
I'm 5'4 and 120 now but yes, I used to be fat as a child. I know firsthand how hard it is to lose weight. It's really irritating how people claim that they are "just concerned for their health" when it's obvious that it's only for selfish reasons. And honestly, I don't remember vows saying, "Till death do us part or when you get fat." If he really did love her he wouldn't be forcing her to lose weight. It's her body.
And seriously bitch, don't be so quick to jump to conclusions about me.
way to jump to conclusions, he's not 'critiquing' her weight gain, it's more that he's worried for her health in the future. in addition, everyone's attractiveness decreases as their weight goes up, so it's normal it would bother this guy if she continues to gain weight. pull your head out of your feminist ass and welcome to reality.
As I said, "concern for health" is total bs.
Just because someone has a kid doesn't mean you have to be a freaking cow. Fine she doesn't have time to excercise but as he said, she just keeps shoving fatty foods down her mouth.
Oh, stop. You are too damn sensitive. You need to get a hold on your f***ing emotions. I'm not a bitch, I simply gave you a reality check on how ridiculous you look. And if you didn't look like that much of a damn fool, you wouldn't have 4 down votes in counting and other users coming to correct you. He's not FORCING her to lose weight. Wtf, are you DELUSIONAL? He's here to ask for help and suggestions on how to approach this. Stop projecting your insecurties with your fat onto him!
Not only that, but he never mentioned them being married. Why are you pulling all of this dramatic, over sensitive bs out of your ass?
Excess fat is often unattractive. He's not a jerk for being open and honest about that.
Just because you have kids doesn't mean you have an excuse to eat any way you want ... She could at least try... he's a parent, too.
Maybe you could try to explain that living a more healthier lifestyle is better for y'alls CHILD.. I have a one year old.. went from 125 to 175 ( at 5'9'') while I was pregnant. It felt like it took FOREVER to lose the weight.. my hubby, however, was completely fine with it. He was so caring and understanding.. I cut back the calories, fat, and carbs, walked or jogged with baby in jogging stroller, and now I am back to a healthy 130. I knew that if it were up to my hubby, he wouldn't mind either way, as long as I'm still me.. I did it for my daughter. She is the one I want to grow old for, see her get married and have babies, etc. Maybe if you try that approach in a super caring demeanor, she will look at your concerns from a different stand point. Good luck.
I think she's being selfish and possibly lazy. If she has other things going on mentally or something, then I understand her side but otherwise, she's being selfish. No one is obligated to stay attracted to someone no matter what ... Just tell her how you truly feel, be sweet but honest...
Losing weight after a baby is hard especially with the diet she is on. I recommend maybe getting her to do some light excercise together...something like YOGA...! You guys should do it together...it makes you more flexible and is good for sex ;) lol
Please help me and answer my question?
a few of my friends had some babies recently - all still struggling to lose the weight. whenever I bring it up they go into snooze mode yet they complain about the weight gain and all. I was able to interest them with dance classes (striptease and belly dance classes). maybe you can ask one of her friends to join her or something :)
tell them to give themselves at least a yr. to two yrs. and use the proper way to lose weight.
took me 3 1/2 and it is staying down...lol I didn't even excersice...if I am more active would have prob. lost more
I am pregnant with twins so I kno what she is feeling its really hard... Just don't push her to do the "hard" stuff Imma health fanatic and I couldn't picture it... So take her out on walks or go to the mall go on bike rides, the fun stuff that will get her goin... Better yet find a babysitter and take her dancin
The girls here are going to say you should love her unconditionally.
I would say to them, let's see your boyfriends smack you all around a bit and watch how long that "unconditional love" lasts.
Tell her if she doesn't start making a visible effort to regain her health you're breaking up with her.
Cold, but that's the only thing that's going to work, plain and simple.
I love how three people downrated me because "I'm mean" but they're unable to provide any counter argument.
I think it is a little cold, but I understand your point as a man. Men cannot understand what it feels like to have your body go through a complete 180 in less than a year to have a child, and then have your partner, the father of your child, to say "you're so ugly now." It's really emotional and you can't expect change over night.
Perhaps not. But I can expect someone to cut out soda, fast food, and cigarettes.
U two are not compatible nor does she wants a better health for herself. It will only get worse, she will not change based on what you said. I would dump her, otherwise you will start to resent her and be very unhappy. Sorry about this but, it is what it is. Good luck.
I have kids too. And having kids doesn't make you fat. And yes, the Babbitt is terrible. I will never be able to live with some like that.
This is a problem that can be worked out. Tossing the person aside without even trying is a very bad way to go about life in my opinion and is a bit immature.
he tried all diff. things with her and set examples for her. she is just not that type to care about health and all. otherwise, she would have done it. these are individual habits from young. he said she has been smoking for a long time.
what I gave is an honest answer, but, no one wants to hear the truth. I am actually surprised I only got three down votes.
those who doesn't face the reality are living in a bubble.
i think what you should do is tell her you do love her and that its because you love her that you are scared for her health and that you don't want to lose her early in life due to the health implications of her lifestyle
As an unlicensed doctor (not even close) , I would recommend lots of s*x and make her do most of the work. She'll burn a lot of calories that way.
Keep being her friend and don't critize he; I'm sure she awares that she overweight. But keep encourage to lose weight if that's what's she wants to do.
Was the after she already had her baby, during pregnancy, or both?
walking is great exercise, so is swimming. Fast food never helps anyone. Offer to get healthy together. Fast food will make you feel lowsy as fruit and healthy stuff wont.
You could also try sexcercise.
Sounds like she needs a whole lifestyle change.
how much does she weigh? What is her height?
Make it a game. Join a league together