Should I move in with my boyfriend

28 year old needs advice. I've been dating my boyfriend for five months now. Things are great. He lives down the street from me which is convenient. Unfortunately we are both divorced as of last November. We were both cheated on and didn't want the divorce so we have that in common but we know... Show More

I asked him if the offer to move in was still open and he said, "honestly, I was thinking about it but I don't think we should rush into anything" I said, At first I was nervous but after thinking about it I did like the idea of living with you. That being said, I like the way things are going and I don't want to rush it especially since we are both nervous.. Since it would help both of us out, if you don't find a roommate- lets talk about it in a few months" Hopefully things won't be awkward

Most Helpful Guy

  • I wouldn't recommend it. Doesn't matter though; it is your best option. Do it.

    A slow transition is the way to gobut before you move in, like everything else in the universe, get a contract for how much rent actually is and something that legally says you are splitting this and that. Why? Because humans are insanely unpredictable. It doesn't just protect you, it protects your daughter, and the fact that location is right next to home is such a plus that I'm not concerned as I would be if it were anywhere else and things do happen to go sour.

    I don't think it will mind you but you plan for the worst and hope for the best, esp. if you have children involved, and the simplest way to work with this is to just cover your ass so you can move into forever happy after land.

    So the checklist is simple:

    1. Get an actual agreement that dictates what you will really pay.

    2. Move your stuff slowly so that the transition is easy on the child.

    Two things.

    If he resists the contract just tell him that you want to do it for your child ( because you do ) and that since both of you have been screwed in divorces and love in general it isn't so much a matter of trust as it is as matter of learning from your past mistakes. He will respect this far more than if you give an emotional answer since it makes a hell of a lot more sense AND he can relate. It's win/win

    • thank you for the advice. I would definitely get a contract in place. The best part is, I don't have to move out by a certain date (opposed to living somewhere that has a lease that is about to expire etc.) So I don't feel like we have to rush. Maybe we could talk about a plan of action- like, slowly moving some stuff over and spending more time at his house but not officially move in for a few more months.

    • I recommend the transition be made within 2 mos. to prevent any problems with things being in one place or the other. It depends on what you're moving of course but with all things equal it will create a duality; normally that's awesome but with children it may not be so good. Sudden change is just as bad as prolonged change.