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How to trust someone again?

I've dealt with a lot of cheating, emotionally and physically. Everyone I know has either cheated or been cheated on. How can I trust someone after this? The lack of trust will hurt my future girlfriend but also will hurt me. I don't want to put her through it as it isn't fair, but how can I not when it's all I know? I don't want that.What was your experience like? How were you able to overcome?

What's Your Opinion?

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Most Helpful Opinion

  • I have been exactly where you are. I find that it's either be alone, which sometimes I really enjoy, or you just have to trust someone. Sure lots of people, male and female, cheat but it's around 50% for both genders so you have a 50/50 shot of ending up with a cheater. With that said just because someone cheated on someone in the past does not mean they will cheat on you, more likely yes but it's not a definite. I don't think my current boyfriend is a cheater even though I have been cheated on in the past. He just doesn't seem the type, there is no way to know for sure but he is worth taking a chance on. I guess that's the way I look at it, is this person worth taking a chance on.I chose to be single for a long time after a break up of a relationship and that helps me get over it too. I am not the type who needs to be in a relationship to feel whole or whatever it is that causes some people to fear being single. Take time for yourself and feel confident that the person who cheated on you has the issues, that you are worth finding someone who will not do that to you.

    • Thank you, awesome post. "Is this person worth taking a chance on?" I never thought of it that way, I'm going to use that. And thanks for the encouragement, I'll try and not let my past affect the future.

What Girls Said 1

  • My first boyfriend had a habit on flirting with girls on Facebook, and not stopping despite me asking him to. So, after 9 months of dating I couldn't take it anymore and I broke up with him. I was so heartbroken, I cried over him almost everyday.Now, I'm with my new boyfriend, we've been dating for months now. You know what?, he has never done anything that would make me think he would cheat on me, but, I do not trust him. I am always with him, like 24/7, We go to the same varsity and I'm always in his room and I sleepover. Despite spending almost everyday with him for the last 5 months and not catching him doing anything wrong, I just can't have the confidence I should be having on our relationship. I know it is not fair on him, cause I even get jealous of the smallest things, like him glancing at other girls when we're taking a walk.I trusted my first boyfriend so much, like a 100% trust level lol, and he did me bad, super bad. I think that will affect me for a very long time, and it will take me longer to trust my boyfriend, cause now, I believe my boyfriend would jeopardise our relationship by cheating, but he has done nothing to make me believe this, and I hate it. Hopefully you will learn to trust again, it will take some time for me I know.

    • :( I know exactly what you mean. I feel the same exact way. I can't believe looking back I was okay with her doing some of the things she was doing. It's like a burn on your skin, after its burned it is delicate, and is hurt easier than before. I guess that's why they call it being burned? lolYour first boyfriend was totally out of line. I don't play that emotional cheating stuff, not even the glancing at others thing. But I'm afraid if I'm not the one doing it, she will be. :( I completely

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    • You know what, the fact that guys like you exist gives me hope(you sound sincere and caring) that men can be faithful, cause I had lost that faith. If a girl truly loves you, it would take a lot for her to cheat on you, I know this cause I would never cheat on my boyfriend. I also have sisters, cousin sisters, girlfriends, and I only have one friend who has done a guys wrong, but most of them have been cheated on by guys, this makes me believe that girls are much more faithful beings.

    • And I am this paranoid cause I feel like males are selfish, deceitful people...also very egotistical. I think these words describe my first boyfriend, and now it has sort of become my view of males. I do not like how I see males, it's not healthy, but I think my mind wants to protect me from future heartache by 'expecting' crude behavior from males so it is not a surprise that bruises my heart.

What Guys Said 1

  • If you think your emotional baggage will cripple your ability to be with someone, you should visit a psychologist. Yours is a serious issue, don't let it build up inside of you.

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