Ex-girlfriend's birthday is coming up tomorrow, should I congratulate her or not?

[Anonymous]

Her birthday is tomorrow, we were madly in love, should I send her a text? We haven't spoken for almost a year, it ended badly and I even blocked her on Facebook.

I’ve tried to move on, but I can’t help it that I still have feelings for her. She is also keeping a picture from our relationship as her profile pic she has had it there for the past year, either to remind me of the relationship or to mind-f*** me. I’m not sure why, but it’s really weird.

She did me wrong but I’m kind of tired of staying mad at her so should I send her text and congratulate her?

A part of me wants to show her I still care but the other part is like saying it will only boost her ego and make me feel bad about it.

So if I am going to do it, why should I be doing it?

And if not why shoulden't i?

What do you think? I might let the votes decide.

Congratulate her after all you did love her.

Don't do it, she doesn’t deserve it!

Don't know/ Just wanted to see the results

Updates

+1 y

Ok I contacted her


And wrote the following


"Hey,


It's been a long time, Happy Birthday, hope you had a great day today.


Kind regards"


I did it because I was scared not to do it, I was scared to unblock her, I challenged myself, we'll see what kind of response I get, I'm not going to focus so much on that.


And honestly it felt good dissing her and having her blocked, so I don't know how I will feel after this, perhaps keeping the lines of communcation is good than closed?

[Cromartie]

I personally think you should do it because it may expedite the "getting over you process" BUT you should not do it from where you are. If such a compulsion overtakes you take the 4 mins. it takes to create an alt. account and with no picture, etc. just say "Happy Birthday" - Fred, presuming your name isn't Fred, and if it is Fred, don't use Fred. She won't know what the hell is going on, you just forget the dummy account for a long, long time, and voila; you've alleviated your emotional internals and also managed to dodge the trap of "going back in". As "Fred" just never open the account again, or rather, open it a week later when it's too late to engage in any sensible conversation.

If she knows it's you ( smart cookie she is ) just laugh it off because it's been 7 days and she will be contacted in another 349 if you feel like it with "Fred".

[Asker]

Wouldn’t it be weird to say Happy Birthday from an alternative account? Isn’t that a bit stalkish? Why not from my cell phone or regular fb? I'm not even sure I want to unblock her at this point as I’m still mad.

And don’t want to give her the impression that what she did is ok.

[Cromartie]

Oh this is for you, not for her, which is the point. Seeing as you still are acting in a "her" centered manner just don't do it.

[Attila33]

Yes text her Happy B-Day . There is nothing wrong whit that kip it simple . Its not like you forget her you can still be a gentleman even if things got badly or ugly break up

[Asker]

I'm just afraid she will think I am weak for doing so and think ha ha ha I got him where I wanted him sort of thing you know...

At the end I tried to get her back for 2 months with no success so I gave up and that's when we stopped talking.

I was so hurt, still am, I don’t know why I still care though.

A part of me wants to stay mad at her, another don't...I don't know what to do seriously.

[Attila33]

Move on she is gone from you life . But you can still text her ,she might think what a sucker Ha Ha Ha but just wish her the best and that's all . Next year you wont. That doesn't mean you weak case of text its the right think to do. If she tells you I want to move on and you won't let me case of text on her B-day then you can tell her you can go f.uck your self, and never speak to her again in you life

[jam66]

I say A, for a few reasons.

If she hurt it has been a year now, and she still has that profile pic, which definitely means she still cares about you.

Whether you want to let her know you care or just be friends, wishing her happy birthday, may just smooth the tension and it will make you feel better, because it sounds like you are torturing yourself.

Life is too short to be mad forever, anyway its not getting you anywhere because you still care for her. She made a mistake and hurt you clearly, but she has already paid the price, she lost you as a boyfriend.

Just go for it, what's the worst that could happen. You never know you may regain a friend.

[Asker]

That's exactly what I felt that moment when I unblocked her that life is too short to be mad forever at someone..so I unblocked her and sent her this msg

"Hey,

It's been a long time, Happy Birthday, hope you had a great day today.

Kind regards

I'm not sure what kind of response I get or if it's a nice one, but it dousen't matter really, for what it's worth I did it because I onced loved and cared for her.

[Asker]

I'm not interested in just pure friendship though as that was the reason why we stoped communicating all together, she wanted to stay friends I said no, it's either all or nothing...I kept my word, till now, when I contacted her. So in that sense I feel a bit pathetic to have reached out first and not staying true to my word, It kind felt good to diss her and have her being mad at me.

I don't know how she will feel after this, but my goal is to just feel good so we'll see.

[jam66]

Exactly, you're completely right, you need to feel good and heal that break for you both.

If you want more than friendship then this would be the first step anyway, making friends again there is no point rushing into it saying I love you and miss you because she will get freaked out and it won't work out in the end. Make friends slowly again the rest will come.

Remember slowly, slowly catchy monkey. Tortoise and the hair story, slower is better in the long run. Let me know how it turns out. :)

[PinkAcid]

if it ended that badly you had to block her I don't think its worth it because it may initiate a conversation or a text/call spammage from her because she might think you like her and wants to start things up with you again or she might go the other way and try to flip out about it "how dare you talk to me I hate you you're ruining my birthday I'm trying to move on and you won't let me" whilst being smug that you remembered and even cared enough to send her a birthday message

[Asker]

If she really wanted to move on and successfully get rid of me she has already done it, by not initiating any contact with me, on the other hand, I don't understand why she is keeping a picture from our relationship as her profile pic on Facebook till this day makes no sense to me...

Either way I shouldn’t be the one to reach out really..she should apologize but it’s hard to just forget a person like that.

[PinkAcid]

thats even more reason not to talk to her, don't you find her having a photo from your relationship after a year creepy? just don't go there

[NicholasHalden]

Do not. If it ended, then you should respect her space no matter how much you loved her. If you loved her, then do not impact her life as of now. Leave her be and let her move on and accept her current life whether happy or non happy.

[Asker]

If not now then when? I haven't talked to her for a year almost, (November) this year and I basically stopped all communication just to give her that space and let her go.

It's been both good and bad, but at this point I don't know I’m starting to miss her again...I still can't figure out why she is keeping a picture of our relationship as her fb profile pic, it just confuses me, if she really wanted me to move on then why is she doing that for example? To mess with me?

[madhatters4]

I thnk just saying, "hope you have a great birthday" is fine and shouldn't really be a boost to her ego but may make her smile.

but ultimately if you think she is going to read into it then maybe you don't

[Asker]

I just don't want her to get the wrong impression of me, to think I am weak and still have feelings for her since I tried to get her back after the breakup but gave up after 2 months.

[yaddayaddayadda02]

No you should not contact her.

[Asker]

Why? What is the worst that could happen?

[yaddayaddayadda02]

Because it's not helping you move on.