Do you worry about being cheated on?

[Anonymous]

Perhaps you have trust but it still crosses your mind.

Maybe something your partner says or does makes you wonder.

Maybe you have been cheated on and have trust issues.

Maybe you don't think anyone would ever cheat on you!

Please explain all!

I don't worry at all

I trust my partner but I get worried about being cheated on

I don't trust my partner at all

It worries me so much I can't have a relationship

[Anonymous]

Nope, and I've been cheated on before too.

To me, it serves no purpose to sit and worry about what MIGHT (or might not) happen, as that will only cause your insecurities to grow and give you a ton of anxiety that you don't need. To me, if I get cheated on then it's really not all that hard to leave the relationship at that point. If they're willing to cheat, then they aren't as serious about you as they say and thus cutting them loose is a breeze.

My girlfriend is easily a perfect 10, and I'm not just biased lol. She always has guys coming up to her, cat-calling her or yelling as they drive by (I mean at least try to hit on her like a decent guy hahaha), approaching her when she goes out, subtle flirting or otherwise, and just basically getting a ton of male attention. On top of all this, she's much more of an extrovert than I am. Every so often she will want me to come out with her on the weekends, but more often she's going out with her friends or with her girls while I'm doing my own thing.

But yeah, on top of me not being able to control if she cheats on me for some reason, I'm pretty secure with what we've got going on as it is. She's never given me a reason to doubt or mistrust her, she's mature about things when she goes out, and we just vibe really well. She will tell me about funny approaches guys make on her and we'll laugh about it. And only a few times has a guy tried approaching and hitting on her when I'm sitting right there. I guess he looked at me and didn't think I was the type of guy to get a girl like her, so he took his shot. I tried coaching him on what she likes so maybe his approach would go a little better (because come on, that's rude to do that to a girl and guy that are someplace). He figured out and walked away lol.

If she answered this question, she would probably answer the same way...because I'd have my knife out and would be glaring at her to answer how I say :|

(joking)

[ManThatKnewTooMuch]

I completely agree with this dude. There's no point in worrying about it and I'm comfortable in my own skin so... whatever. It's funny how women worry more about it. I think statistics show that women are just as likely to cheat. I guess they all know how they are so they suspect their boyfriends of the worst, right?

[Asker]

Completly right. By sitting and worrying it's almost like you are asking for it to happen. Like your focusing on it. And yes if they do cheat then how could they have been that serious. Sounds like you have a great relationship :)

[Opinion Owner]

I mean, I wouldn't say you're asking for it to happen because not everyone has the capacity to cheat lol. But you are asking to introduce problems into your relationship or probably end it due to your insecurities.

And yeah, we've got it going on :)

[Jonny_]

I don't worry at all, but that's due to the people I usually date... I know them very well and they aren't the lying nor cheating kind. Either they're just too nice to do it, or they're so blunt that they'd rather tell me. I have dated a girl in the past who was very nice but we'd started drifting apart because of work and distance issues... she called me to tell me she felt like she was getting feelings for someone else. I mean she could easily have cheated and I'd not have known any better but she called me as soon as she felt like that. Don't get me wrong it still sucked but I really appreciated the honesty. Other girls I've dated are just too blunt, if the relationship isn't working they wouldn't end up cheating, they would just tell me it isn't working and then move on.

[Asker]

That's good of her to be so honest to you. More people need to be like that in relationships, rather than stringing people along when they are not sure.

[Hannah591]

Like anonymous said, I fall between B and A depending on my mood. Whichever choice, I always trust him and know that he most likely won't cheat on me. But when I find he's talking to a girl, he does something out of character, he acts differently towards me (usually tiredness), I'm feeling severely insecure or something along those lines, I start freaking out in my head. I start thinking irrationally and then think about how my world would literally crumble all around me if he cheated because he's my rock and my soulmate. Eventually, I remind myself that he has a kind heart and I can see the love he has for me in his eyes every day. He's a guy you couldn't get rid of even if you wanted to, that's how attached he is to me. We're our own little team and we consider each other best friends. I don't see him ever throwing all that down the drain for a one night stand.

[Asker]

I think when you love someone it is a natural thing to get worried now and again. I love my boyfriend so much and think he is amazing. So I think every single woman in the world would want him... but that doesn't mean he would cheat. I worry more about not knowing I've been cheated on than actually being cheated on... does that make sense? probably not.

[Hannah591]

I understand you completely. It can be hard because he is my world now and I'm his. He gets way too much female attention and of course, it usually happens when I'm not there! But he always tells me which I'm glad about. It does make sense! I didn't know I had been cheated on until 8 months later and I always thought it was such a waste of my time!

[Asker]

That is good he tells you. Means he is honest with you and feels you should know. It should be a compliment other if other girls like our bfs I suppose, but it does niggle you. I don't think you not knowing you were cheated on should be considered a waste of time. There was nothing you could do about it, perhaps a waste of his time cheating and loosing someone like you. You have learnt and it has made you stonger I hope.

[washize]

Depends on what the dynamics of our relationship are and if he is having safe protected sex.

If I was in an open/poly relationship, Cheating wouldn't bother me that much, even if he did break some rules as long has he was having safe sex.

IF I was in a monogamous relationship, I'd leave him.

The only time cheating worries me, is if he is having unprotected sex. I don't care if the person IS CLEAN, I don't want my health being put at risk without my consent.

Its not really a pride or trust thing with me. Shit happens, if someone cheats, that sucks, but its not the end of the world. There are plenty of other people to enter into a committed or non committed relationship with.

It is never OK for someone to put your life in danger just for sex.

[Asker]

Interesting.

[16drumstix]

B... I've had some bad experiences before, so I've worried about it. I've been proven right in the past, having the gut feeling and finding out something is going on, so I don't ignore my instincts.

I just try not to let it get to me, and focus on my trust. Also, if it bothers me, I usually say something to air out the issues. That way it doesn't grow into a major source of anxiety or distrust.

[Asker]

I agree, trying to focus on the trust and push bad thoughts to the back on your mind. Otherwise the can get out of control and make you feel awful. Sorry, it has happened before. Same as. Doesn't mean everyone would though... that's what I also tell myself!

[Eiffelgirl21]

I feel you ! <3

[UberTroll]

I'm somewhere between A and B with the others. I trust my boyfriend and I don't suspect he would ever cheat on me but I am always a little worried about being cheated on in general. It's pretty much the worst thing (short of a catastrophic accident) that could ever happen to me so it's scary to know that as long as your in a relationship there's always a chance it could happen.

[Asker]

Most definitely the wosrse thing. I always say I would never cheat.. but it work both ways. I think I would stop myself if I put myself in to that situation and then talk it through with the boyfriend. I hope he would do the same for me too.

[HandsomeRaj]

If being 'cheated on' means sexual monogamy then it doesn't bother me one bit even if I'm lied to constantly. Chances are I won't confront her even when I have proof (and that is when I'd even ask if I do but not for accusing etc, it'd just be a casual question).

The kind of cheating that will bother me which will affect me, my work or innocent people, the kind of cheating by passing on information or doing things deviously under grab of relationship will bother me and I will action it - to the end ;) :)

[Asker]

That is really interesting. So of you were with someone and they were the absolute love of your life, you would have no problem being lied to and them sleeping with someone else? Would you also do the same?

[HandsomeRaj]

Love of my life? I've had one alright :) my sole aim is to have a good compatible relationship with her, for her to be smiling and happy seeing which it's heaven on earth for me. If there's something that makes her happy & she's not hurting or harming anyone innocent shouldn't it make me happy too?

I'm not out competing like a juvenile lol I love her and what makes her happy makes me happy as long as she's not hurting or harming anyone innocent. So when she derives pleasure that brings ...

[HandsomeRaj]

... a look & smile of satisfaction to her face, eyes, lips and persona - seeing that is like floating in waves of heaven the epitome of happiness anyone can experience then why would I exchange that euphoric feeling for selfish, insecurity related possessiveness, jealousy etc

[Asker]

Of course why would you exchange making someone happy amd having those feelings between each other. I'm trying to understand. So as long as she is smiling and happy... it doesn't matter if she is sleeping with someone who is not you? And it doesn't matter if she lies to you?

[HandsomeRaj]

1. It doesn't matter to me as long as she is happy

2. Yes I'd love her to tell me the truth cause I generally know (I have ways of doing that) but if she denies it when asked even if not specifically, I've never pushed. I don't want her to think I don't trust her and I respect her need for privacy there. Don't blame her if she doesn't trust me or anyone with everything, there are cases where one has been open & it has been held against them later :) I realize the love is heavier on my side ...

[HandsomeRaj]

... and chances of her dumping me is more than the other way round lol

[Anonymous]

I don't know it's a gray area for me. I'm currently on the beginning of maybe starting a relationship with a girl that cheated on her boyfriend to be with me. And while I never wanted it to happen that way and I don't condone it nevertheless it happened. And I do trust her I trust her more than I did most of the people ever in my life. But still I worry about it. Sometimes I think about what if she cheats on me. Would she. Why would she. Why did she. Then I think if she did it once she might do it again. But then so could anyone and even I can't say for sure that I couldn't be tempted. So yes I worry sometimes but sometimes she's able to calm me down just buy being there and telling me everything is fine.

[Jamesthehuman]

Don't do it man. You'll regret it. I did

[Opinion Owner]

What do you mean. Get into a relationship with her? I think it's too late for that. We're both too involved and have too much feelings for each other. We even tried but couldn't get away from each other.

[Asker]

It could work out fine. As she cheated on her last with you doesn;t mean she will do it. But the trouble is, it will probably always be in the back of your mind what if. That might stop you gaining more trust and fully letting go and enjoying the relationship. Anyway, I hope it all works out good and you are happy :)

[idontknowlol]

yeah once you've been cheated on or have trust issues,its always in the back of my head.

I went to as far as avoiding following my boyfriend on instagram,so that he post as freely as he wishes without having to filter it incase I got upset or caught him and then I made a fake account to preview what his doing on his instagram.

trust issues get to you.

[Asker]

devious! Yes I have let them get the better of me before. I agree with people saying trust untill you have reason not to, but what about the reasons not to when you know it hasn't happened but something they have done makes you wonder. Tough. I hope there was nothing untoward on the instagram.

[idontknowlol]

He is a new boyfriend so I had to check him out see what he gets up to because we are in a long disttance relationship I actually caught him and his ex following each other and found out that he might have a side chick him and his ex un followed one another after a few weeks so I got over that , but a girl commented something jealous on a picture of a celebrity he posted which he replied to "aww my sidekick getting all jealous and that x" and of course I couldn't confront him cos its a fake account.

[Asker]

I could never go down that route posing as someone else. It would be too tempting to see how far they would take it, like offereing them sexy pics etc to see what they say.

[idontknowlol]

I've been tempted to do that actually

[Asker]

Please don't tell me I have replanted the seed?! Does he know you worry sometimes? And by the way, the thing your boyfriend and his sidekick, I think it's OK. That comment could be taken the wrong way.

[idontknowlol]

loool no don't worry I thought about doing it but I'm too scared incase he blocks the account haha,he dose not know I worry because I have no evidence I can use to show him I'm worried ,my bad! I meant "side chick " and it was just the fact she commented like she had the right to be jealous that got me worried

[Asker]

You know it won't hurt to say something, in the right way. It's a bad idea to have evidence anyway... that's an accusation not just a worry. I mean, you could say something like, I like you so much and your so amazing, I worry every girl on the planet would want you too. Sometimes I worry you might want someone else. It will get it off your cheast and give him chance to reassure you. It's when people nag at men about being worried or jealous that it's a problem not a one off.

[MaskedSanity]

I've recently had surgery on both my hands and am strictly forbidden from doing the simplest of tasks.

My boyfriend has taken out his holidays just so he can look after me. This is the man, who willfully decided to look after me for the next two weeks, which includes feeding, washing, etc.

Yeah, I'm dating a golden man. The thought of cheating doesn't even cross my mind.

[Asker]

Sounds like you got a lovely man, hope you are much better now x

[MaskedSanity]

Ah, thanks, I'm alright and I'm lucky to have him. He is my everything. :)

[InquisitiveMale]

I'm secretly attracted to those I can never fully have...

Ah well, I'm fairly good at getting over betrayal so better me then most others.

And no, I don't really worry about it but then again it's been awhile since I've been with someone who I would care enough about for it to matter one way or the other.

I'm A through C depending on the girl.

[Asker]

Perhaps it's the challenge? If you had a serious relationship and you were faced with a proposition from someone you wanted because you couldn't have before, would you cheat? And also, do you think you would get over betrayal if you were madley deeply in love in the furture do you think?

[InquisitiveMale]

I've overcome it once, I don't see why I wouldn't get over it a second time. And no, I wouldn't cheat. Sex is awesome, but it's is just sex. There will always be future opportunities.

[Asker]

Well yes sex is sex. But sex could never compare with anyone but my boyfriend, just beacause they are not him. It would be rubbish. Just because you find someone attractive doesn't mean it will be better than what you have. Even if it is good, In that case, for me sex is just sex if it was with someone new and would never be worth it in comparison to what I have. Nothing could ever beat my bf.

[gatennis09]

I don't have a boyfriend now but my ex cheated on me in the past. I always worried afterward that it would happen again with him and over time I realized the cheating was a reoccurring thing. I think I would not worry at all until I am given a reason to worry.

[Asker]

Not worry untill there is a reason is a good way to think.

[christinalong338]

I'm always a little worried. I never used to worry about it but all of the people in my new city talk about it so casually (as if it's not a big deal, everyone's done it, etc.) that I get nervous. also, my current boyfriend has cheated on his exes before.

[Asker]

Really? So lots of people cheat on each other there like it's ok? Is it like a mutual thing?

[christinalong338]

it may be because I'm 24 and the people in my area haven't really grown up that much since high school, but almost every person I know in my boyfriends friend groups has cheated on someone at least once and they seem to find some sort of comfort in numbers, like it's not a bad thing. It's not like they set out to cheat, but if it "just happens" they don't really beat themselves up about it. it's pretty alarming to me.

[Asker]

no wonder you worry moving somewhere people think like that. Perhaps these people as they older will be more faithfull. Always cheating must feel so hollow.

[pips1]

When I had a 5 year relationship I didn't trust him at all and I was right not too, but thing is looking back it wasn't healthy so now If and when I find a new partner then sure I will trust him I trusted my last one year boyfriend and I figure its better to trust until trust is broken because I feel me not trusting kind of made him worse so at the end of day now I will trust

[Asker]

so true, trust until trust is broken, what else can you do

[Anonymous]

I vote C. My husband has been caught in so many lies, he changes his stories all the time. His friends cover for him, and he only tells me about certain things if I ask. Even when he tells me anything, I don't believe him. His lies have caught up with him and I will never be able to trust any of the things he says :-/

[Asker]

I'm really sorry to hear that. It's not fair you feel you have to ask him things, and it's horrid his friends cover for him anyway. My boyfriend has lied to me about the silliest of things before. When someone does that it makes me wonder if they think it's ol to lie about something trivial how easy is it for them to tell bigger lies? He has called me drunk before and then started talking to a girl and telling her she was really pretty and he liked her. While on the phone to ME?!

[Asker]

When we went out once he was drunk and went behind the bar trying to get himself drinks, getting far too close against the teenage bar girl for comfort. When I have asked him how he would feel if I did it he said he would be really hurt and upset. And he would have taken me home! I trust my boyfriend. But I don't know if I should, esspcially if he is drunk.

[Opinion Owner]

Wow! Yea my husband gets a bit loose when he drinks too. I told him that I am not OK with the whole bar scene after we went twice, it was horrible both times. I couldn't enjoy myself, I kept catching him flirting with random ass skanks and he always denied it even tho I saw with my own eyes... Trust is such an important thing in a relationship, if I would have known the things I know now, I would be happily single and free.

[Asker]

Isn't that sad though not being able to relax and have a good time out with them. I don't feel like I would want to go out with him drinking now if he gets like that again. Made me feel stupid, like I wasn't there, like he wasn't interested in me. But I know he absolutely adores me. He didn't believe me about the phone incident. But why would we lie!? Are you still married? I don't think people that drunk realize what they are doing, not that it is an excuse.

[Opinion Owner]

Yes we are still married, so far we have come to a mutual agreement that we won't be involved in the bar scene. So for now we enjoy a few drinks in our own home, he does like to get on the phone and blabber away but I usually know who he is talking to. From my experience with drinking, I know that it loosens me up to do the things that I want to do. Like when I'm sober I would never do the things I do when I am drinking, you do realize what you are doing but its kind of like you don't care.

[Anonymous]

I'll say I'm between A and B. The more the girl accuses me of cheating, the more I start to worry that she's cheating on me and that she's accusing me of cheating just because she's been able to get away with it. I've found that the more trust-worthing she is, the more I trust her.

[Asker]

Yeah I can see how being accused would make you think that. I have had a similar thing.

[Eiffelgirl21]

I used to accuse my boyfriend. but, not because I was cheating on him, but because he has cheated on me.

[Opinion Owner]

You accused him because of something he has already proven to do in the past. That's different. I was being accused of cheating on her with women I just met 30 minutes before being accused.

[Asker]

lol yes 30 minutes after you met someone would be a speedy cheat, not unheard of though!

[Opinion Owner]

Definitely not unheard of... unless it was the way it happened with me.

The girl she accused me of cheating on . . . was one of her good friends. When I met this friend of hers, it was at a football game with my girlfriend around my pretty much the entire time. Once my girlfriend and I left and went our separate ways, she accused me of cheating on her with her friend. I told her I just met her today... and I only know her because you introduced me to her. How could I cheat? It was ridiculous. lol

[Eiffelgirl21]

that sucks! sorry!

[jacquesvol]

I've been cheated on REAL big time by my ex, as bad as possible (worse than you can imagine), thus I know it can happen to me too.

I never had to worry about it even one second with my wife (and we stated dating in Dec 1967)

And no, I'm not mad at my ex, I barely was back then. Those things happen and it was partly my fault if one wants to stretch the definition of 'fault'.

[Asker]

That's lovely that you feel totally secure and have never worried with your wife :)

[Anonymous]

So I voted B but really it's somewhere in between B and A. I love him and I know he's faithful but next fall we'll be off to different colleges (he's transferring for a different major), and that makes me nervous. But I don't worry about it currently. So I guess I'm more of an A right now but we all know it's going to cross my mind next year lol.

[Asker]

Fingers crossed he will be able to reassure you. I'm sure he will be thinking the same thing about you as well!

[Opinion Owner]

Yes. That's a conversation we will have when the time comes.

[Asker]

Well I hope it all goes well.

[lananoel]

Yea a person who doesn't at least consider ever being cheated on is a moron in my opinion... IT is a common practice. Even the bubbliest of couples I know have had a wild phase. Yea.. Lets get realistic.

[Asker]

I'm finding it quite refreshing although, I am surprised how many people are so absolutely trustworthy. Actually I'm not sure surprised is the right word. It's an interesting insight into other peoples feelings. And how great that so many people are loved up, secure and have no worries.

[lananoel]

People are full of shit.. lol I do see your point though.

[missjane23]

No. I have been cheated on once and I now like vet my boyfriends to see their position on cheaters before I even consider dating them. My current boyfriend hates cheaters just as much as I do so I know I don't need to worry

[Asker]

Vetting sounds intense but effective!

[missjane23]

haha, its not. I just plant a seed into the conversation and see what becomes of it.

[Asker]

Good idea :)

[missjane23]

It works well, I highly recommend trying it. I don't do cheaters. I will end it at anytime if I suspect it. Once the trust is gone so is the relationship in most cases

[Irisflower23]

Nope.

I don't worry about it.

I have trust in any relationship I have even with Friends and Family that I will never get betrayed. I don't hand my heart out to just anyone so I 100% trust my partner.

[Asker]

That's really great that you trust in relationships 100%. If there is nothing to make you think otherwise it makes sense. Yes I trust my family and friends 100%.

[klalsaleh]

I believe most men would like to have more than one woman but I don't worry about beinh cheated on.i have been a cheater and cheated on so it happens but I just deal with it at the time...i don't let it worry me.

[Asker]

maybe they would, one man is quite enough for me.

[Anonymous]

When I've been in a relationship I've completely trusted my partner; I'm surprised that many girls voted B (then again, there are all too many players and jerks out there)

[Eiffelgirl21]

I have to agree with you there.. I also think that it is more women that are insecure in a relationship also. Society kind of makes it that way.

[Asker]

it's sad really. I know someone (not my freind) who cheats on his girlfriend alll the time for over a year. He lies to her through his teeth. She has asked him before. I don't know why he is with her if he does it. He must have some insecurity. I hate hearing about it (through someone else) as I have the girlfriend too and she is lovely and sticks by him. Sadley I am so not in a position to get involved. Some girls are just worried as they don't think they are good enough. Some, from bad experience.

[Jsonason]

Nope, not at all. I have been cheated on in the past but that doesn't affect the trust I have in my current partner.

[Asker]

That's really good you don't let that affect your trust now. I have been cheated on too, it did make me more wary for a few years. But you can't taint everyone with the same brush and I know my boyfriend adores me so much.

[Jsonason]

Exactly. They're completely different people, why let the one from the past ruin things again.

[Anonymous]

D, but only because literally EVERY woman I have been with has cheated... I am at the point where I almost don't believe there is one single respectable woman out there. If she finds me, I'll be good to her, but I think I am done looking.

[jacquesvol]

literally EVERY woman? you might be choosing the wrong ones.

[Opinion Owner]

They've all been different types from the not so brainy live wire all the way to quiet brainy type. It's not like I stuck to just one type of woman. Ecc: 7:28 "Which my soul still seeks but I cannot find:

One man among a thousand I have found, But a woman among all these I have not found."

[Asker]

Just because they cheated it's not 'Anonymous's' fault for choosing to be with them. How do you know they will be a cheater unless they tell you they are when you first meet them? You have to give things a chance. I would never cheat on my boyfriend, and I speak for so many men and women who really wouldn't do that. We wouldn't put ourselves in that situation that it would happen let alone go through with it.

[Opinion Owner]

Thank you question asker. I am also glad that you stated you wouldn't cheat on your boyfriend, I know it's just paranoia from past experiences, but sometimes it's just nice to read/hear some girl say that she's NOT secretly planning on cheating on her s/o the minute he's busy for a day.

[Asker]

Goodness imagine the girls that do... terrible. My boyfriend been away for nearly 6 months, cheaters would have had a riot by now! It seems a lot of men feel the same in that they wouldn't cheat. Kind of refreshing really.

You know. One day you will be able to trust someone and be someone again. There are a lot of loyal and faithful people out there.

[Opinion Owner]

Haha, I can imagine, but I wish that it were that I couldn't imagine such a thing. See, it's not that I don't believe there are women out there that wouldn't cheat, it's just I am fighting myself on it, due to past experiences and well, finding someone with similar beliefs, values, ethics and interests is difficult enough, much less finding one of the same faith and of decent appearance and a similar intelligence level. I am TRYING to keep my hopes up. Thanks again.

[Asker]

Similar is not exactly the same. it's just if you love the things that arnt perfect to you anyway that makes the relationship stand out. My boyfriend has things I don't like, most of them (most) I find endering. We will see, early days, over a year so I am enjoying the now.

It is hard though you are right, and it takes so long to get to know someone.Even after 15 years I am still learning about my closest friends. I find most people quite closed off compared to how I see and think about everythi

[Opinion Owner]

I said similar, because I don't expect someone to be like a carbon copy of my every belief and what not. I more just meant like the core characteristics are the same while the budding things may differ, but aren't totally polar opposite. I mean I am reasonable about what I look for in others, but I am also not going to throw my standards out the window. I think MOST people are EXTREMELY closed off to one another and honestly, I struggle to keep friends and what not that aren't so close/open.

[ProTraceurDGDJ]

Nope 'cause I don't have serious relationships just fwb,ons,p&d's & the occasional short term relationships. (:

[Asker]

I don't understand your acronyms!

[ProTraceurDGDJ]

fwb = friends with benefits, ons = one night stands, p&d's = pump & dumps, Oh! & I forgot f&c's = fuck & chucks. (:

[Asker]

lol thanks for the explanation! Sounds like your having fun!