Has anyone had their ex girlfriend (or ex boyfriend) break up with them, tell you to move on and date other people, but still want to be friends and that she still loves you.

Question

Has anyone had their ex girlfriend (or ex boyfriend) break up with them, tell you to move on and date other people, but still want to be friends and that she still loves you. Then after a couple months of No Contact to heal, you actually pick your self up, become confident and do have fun going out, and move on...she doesn't want anything to do with you even as a friend?

Has anyone else had this happen to them? What did you do? Why do you think an ex would behave like this?

Chipper · Accepted Answer

Sounds passive aggressive to me. Not a good sign for you. But you may be able to work it into your advantage my man. Move on means get yourself another girl(s). If you are the type who can play the field before you marry it sounds like she'd be available to you on some days, but not if you are going to show her the consideration you once had for her.

I also sense there is a bit of masochism here on her part. Which means if you were married she'd have affairs on you. So don't pursue this kind of woman for love and marriage. Treat her as your average concubine. Someone to exchange pleasure with you and nothing more. If she lies she may not be worth more than that, but she may be worth disciplining, and that is probably what she knows she needs deep down. Do you understand what I mean? If not message me and I will explain.

Blindness · Accepted Answer

Yup, it's happened to me. It sucks.

There's 2 main reasons people do this:

1. they're trying to string you along as a backup plan in case the new person they met doesn't work out.

2. they want to cushion the blow of breaking up with you so they don't look like the bad guy. it's like a kick to the crotch followed by a handshake.

the best cure for this is to have the clarity to recognize when a relationship's over, and the courage to say "no, and hell no" when someone offers friendship after dumping you -- don't give them the satisfaction of a soft landing. force them to confront the consequences of their decision.

ttlynotobsessed · Accepted Answer

Well, first off. My boyfriend broke up with me, told me that he loved me. Then dated someone else (after like a week) and then got back together with me. THEN he broke up with the other girl. He's my boyfriend and I love him very much,

Now, I broke up with this guy, because I loved someone else(see above) and he was annoying and stalkerish. I told that I still cared about him and too date other people. But he kept calling me EVERY DAY. So I told him never to call me again. I wanted the best for him, but wanted him out of my hair. I got a new boyfriend a little more than a month later (see above). Now, every time I try to talk to my ex he calls me a desperate whore and says that I "shattered" his life. His best friend told me that he still likes me. I broke up with him in december. IDK!

Tamikaze · Accepted Answer

That is very common and something that people do to lessen the guilt they feel about breaking up.  The reality is that people who were in a romantic relationship rarely become friends later for a wide variety of reasons.  You did not say what it is that you tried to do to reestablish a friendship with her?  I hope you did not think it would be cool to start talking about your new dating life with her?  You can never, never start chit chatting about relationships with an old flame unless that old flame is someone you have not dated for years, not just months, even if she is the one who broke up with you.

Tamikaze · Accepted Answer

Again, sorry, but this is the type of thing that people say to each other to soften the blow of breaking up. Breakups suck so I would personally rather someone soften the blow by saying something that I already know is a line versus telling me the truth and the only truth in a breakup is that person isn't in to you anymore. Telling someone something like "I don't love you anymore" or discussing some personal quality of theirs that you cannot live with anymore, it just makes a bad breakup feel even worse.

L-I-F-E · Answer

well my boyfriend cheated and told me to do whatever I want so I said finally ok ill let you go then,i love you and ill miss us but you gotta go with how you feel..i wish you never cheated I wish you have said this before that,and had sex before the good goodbyes..

he holds my hand and cried..he said I wish I could love you more,i said I wish so too..good luck..not even a day after he wants me back home he missed me back home..the point is they aren't sure of how they feel,they say stuff they were not thinking about..the most part they do not know how important you are until you're gone and too late..

palek · Answer

Her behavior is so twisted, I wouldn't even care to speculate as to her motives. No matter how it's sliced it can't add up to anything good for you. At the very least, this woman has "issues" of a variety which warrant you running as far away as you can, and never looking back. I'm glad you've gotten beyond it. Your inner strength and good character have served you well.

Daydreamer · Answer

Maybe she thought you weren't happy with her so she broke up with you. Maybe she's trying to be the bigger person and tell you to move on and date others but really she doesn't want you too. She still wants you in her life and if you're dating other people, the only place left for her is being your friend but yet she still loves you. And although you thought you were the one who had to get over HER, really she's been trying to get over you and it's just easier without being around you.

leigh24 · Answer

I actually have broken up with my ex and wanted to continue being friends. I love him still and would do anything for him but I am by no means in love with him. But, we also have to children together. So that explains that.

She lied because she didn't want you to know. Forget about her and move on. Don't dwell on the little things. She could have possibly been interested in him for a while but just now got to be with him.

falconfallon · Answer

When you two were dating this guy may have found her and she found he was better then you, sorry but it happens it's life. The bitterness is she would probably rather see you alone and happy than with another girl. This aggravates us because in our minds not one can be better for  than us. Even if we don't want you if we've dated you your still our property until like five years.

Blindness · Answer

She becomes bitter because you've proved you can be happy without her.

Daydreamer · Answer

Maybe she wasn't lying...maybe it just happened? A lot of people don't go LOOKING for people to date, it just happens, regardless of they say. It can be really unfair!

JoshElliott · Answer

it means they have feelings for someone else.

Has anyone had their ex girlfriend (or ex boyfriend) break up with them, tell you to move on and date other people, but still want to be friends and that she still loves you.

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