He's cheating on his girlfriend with me, I want him!

Question

i met this guy...hes already in a relationship for four years.but..

he told me he got feelings towards me and willing to break up with his gf..so he really did...

i accepted him after the break up..

but then his girlfriend couldn't let him go and threatened to commit suicide.We were very guilty and at last we agreed to separate.

He got back with her.

I'm really upset I made the decision of letting him go...T_T

I still couldn't forget him and cried everyday

We did still stay in contact.. and chat..

but he don't allowed me to find him unless he find me first

So,i have to wait him...he apologized to me a lot of times and keep telling me to forget him.

one night we chatted on msn...

he said he was drinking beer.. so I can assumed he's drunk that time...he confessed to me

he asked me do I still love him and blah blah..

he told me that he still love and miss me...and even

called me Dear...

we kinda back to the moment we were together..

but I still can't find him anytime I need him..

hes still in relationship with his gf.

i felt really suffer,i love him very much

So,now I'm considered the third party...

I'm so selfish T_T I want him badly

and is he cheating on his girlfriend now? or he's just playing me?

So WHAT SHOULD I ACTUALLY DO NOW?

SHOULD I JUST LET HIM GO? [i couldn't]

SHOULD I CONTINUE TO BE WITH HIM LIKE THAT?

actually I knew that I should just forget him..but a piece of me keep lying to myself..

Ufeelsosorry · Accepted Answer

Put yourself in her shoes, how would you Feel if you knew the man you loved was cheating on you and he continued to deny it. You left your family in another state for him, serve him his beer and dinner probably served him that beer while he was texting you. Your whole life is controlled by him and just like you two they started off as friends. He takes you for granted, calls you out your name on the ride to his Moms and doesn't allow you to leave. All you ever wanted from him was honesty and for the past year he has been stabbing you in the back. You ask him do you want to be with me because you notice there are times he acts loving then he gets cocky. He reassures you, he is possessive and won't allow you to have friends like him. We are in Oklahoma now on vacation. He got mad because he thought I listened to much to another guys conversation. You are always under his belt and he is putting you down to a girl who knows nothing about you but what he has said. He leaves out the money you gave him, he leaves out how mean he was to her daughter. He leaves out that before his ex got tied in this love triangle they think she doesn't know about that she was pretty successful and going to school. When he broke up with me after calling me some names I would never call him, then keeping me at his mom's and flirting with you on the phone while I was supposed to pretend we were a couple. Then flirting with me then saying nevermind. I finally can go home. I get used to the realization, he decides to ask me to stay... To trust him, that he loves me. I'm his baby girl and he would never do anything to hurt me. Then I come to this while on vacation with him. Do you understand what the both of you have done to this woman? All the cries the stress the mental and verbal abuse not by you but you are a factor in his game? All he had to do was tell me when we were both calm. Do you know the time/money and energy I wasted on him? To be honest your just as bad because I had faith in him. I sacrificed a lot for him things you know nothing about because I held on to faith even though my gut was telling me other wise... You want sympathy and understanding? All he had to do as friends first, and he knows this was be honest with me. Once again I've been made the biggest fool. I don't need any help accept to be away from you two's lies. Karma will get you both back for hurting a person who knew something was up but you two kept lies to conceal it. That is wrong

Dollface-86 · Accepted Answer

This is so difuctional and stupid. You knew he was in a relationship from the begining and went for him anyway. You should be so disgusted and ashamed of yourself. You're right. You are selfish. He is dumb for being with her out of guilt because she is being manipulative by using suicide to get him to be with her, but come on. You don't love him and he doesn't love you. This is lust and infatuation. You need to grow up and learn the difference. Besides, even if he did break up withj her and get with you he would still do the same damn thing and end up cheating on you. Sometimes girls are dumb ass hell and will try to get with a guy in a realtionship and somehow when they get him they think he'll be different and be faithful. Once a serial cheater always a serial cheater. Let him go for crying out loud. How would you feel if you were his girlfriend and you found out he was cheating and didn't give a sh*t about you? Put yourself in her shoes. You just need to leave, grow the f*** up, and get with someone who is single and available to get in a healthy, stable, monogamous relationship.

sweetaspie · Accepted Answer

This is horrible on so many levels. You are not only hurting this girl who is a innocent party but you are letting yourself be nothing more than a piece of side action for this guy...He doesn't love you or her, or respect either one of you. If he did he would have broke up with her and been with you. No cheating, no disrespect.  He is playing both of you. More her than you though because she was actually with him when you started screwing him on the side. Put yourself in her shoes. How would you feel if your boyfriend did that to you? Like sh*t. That's how. How are you suffering, he never was really with you, he just screwed you on the side of your relationship. He didn't care about you enough to be with you, so why do you care about him? Some of you chicks are deranged...I tell ya. He didn't have to get back with her, dispite what you think. He knows that she will stick around even though he cheats on her and that you will keep screwing him on the side, so why would he change things when everything is going his way?

neberle · Accepted Answer

He isn't sure in himself and what he wants while he was with her he was talking with you being with you.

While he was with you he was talking with her being with her.

Now he is with her talking with you being with you.

If he was sure of himself and confident with who he is he would decide for himself what do I want. If he wanted you both he would tell you. I love both of you I consider both of you my girlfriends if you can accept that I want to be with you otherwise you should leave me because I can't control myself I love women. Or he would go to the one of you he really cares about either way he would be clear and steady this is what a man who is being himself always is clear and steady.

You and his current girl like him more than he likes either of you this is why he is letting your emotions sway who he is and what he wants. When you get upset with him this will also sway who he is he will be miserable which he will take out on you blaming you for his weakness. He will remember good times with his ex and talk to her or another girl because he is to week to cheer himself up or accept he is responsible for his happiness. This circle will go on till he wakes up and decides to man up to himself and take control of his life.

Let him go girl it's jealousy talking to you not love.

authentic · Accepted Answer

"I still couldn't forget him and cried everyday"

"i felt really suffer"

You have tasted, first hand unfortunately, what is like to be in a triangular relationship. In a nutshell, hell.

"SHOULD I JUST LET HIM GO? [i couldn't]"

Find the will power to leave the table --- you have a pile of sh?t on one dish, and a pile of goodies on another. Your problem is you can't turn your eyes away from the goodies, but the smell of the "pile of sh?t" is so obnoxious that it makes you puke. This is what happens with triangular relationships. They bait and abuse you at the same time.

The longer you "indulged yourself" in such a relationship, the lower your self-esteem will sink, what is waiting for you around the corner is depression, anger/rage, jeolousy, perceived helplessness, hopelessness.

Clear your mind of him. Ask yourself, "What kind of guy do I want ?" Focus on your answers, until the guy you want shows up. Make no compromise. Learn this lesson well and engage in no mediocre relationships. They put you in a worse situation than when you are without them.

This link may help your boyfriend with his girlfriend --- link

budphillips · Answer

The sooner you cut ties with this guy the better your life will be. Out of the phone. Off of MSN. Off your facebook/myspace/twitter.

This is the type of situation, that after counseling people and living with teens and early 20somethings for 7 years, that can be filed under "Not going to end well". He will string you along, using you when he wants you, until his suicidal girlfriend finds out about you. She sounds completely off her rocker and you have no idea how she'll react to that. A guy putting himself in that relationship has issues himself, if you ask me.

Get. Out. Now. C'mon. You're better than this. "I knew that I should just forget him." You said so yourself. Start the process of getting him out of your life. This second.

That's what you should.

What you end up doing, well, that's your call.

the-love-guru · Answer

If a man wants to be with you... he'll be with you. Even if that means hurting his girlfriends feelings and causing her heartbreak. The heart wants what the heart wants. And it's obvious that he's just not sure enough of his feelings for you. Besides, who in their right mind would want to date a guy that's cheating on their girlfriend? Ever heard of the term "once a cheater, ALWAYS a cheater." Don't expect to be the exception.

Get smart and find a single man that can make you happy. There's plenty of them out there!

Agsded · Answer

He shouldn't be with her just to pity her. That is not going to build a strong relationship. If he doesn't cheat with you he is going to cheat with someone else. And in the end, he is going to hurt her eventually...probably even more when all his doings come to the surface in addition to her growing more dependent on him. It sounds like he needs to step out of that relationship and maybe make sure she gets help...

But that is all off your shoulders. I wouldn't play the game with him because it is going to hurt you too. Back out now...force his hand if he is willing to chase you and drop her. If not, at least let him face those consequences on his own. He's made the decision...you shouldn't let yourself get pulled through the dirt with him.

Anonymous · Answer

If he wants to be with you he will be with you. Stop fantasizing what happened in the past. It's over and now he wants to be with his gf. So, if you feel you're selfish, then let him go, let your past with him go. Don't bother him and his girlfriend anymore. You should move on and be happy with your life, find a guy who can treat you nicely. Of course, you can't find him when you need him because he doesn't need to do that, you're not his gf. If you know you have to forget him, you should. You can't forget him because memory will always be there. What you can do is to move on. Let him go, if he's happy with her, let it be. What is done is done, and don't blame yourself for the past as it is useless. It will only bring more pain and suffering to you. Just try to accept the situation now and keep yourself from denying that it's actually over. IT'S OVER so to keep you away from the pain, you need to do things you need in your life.

Anonymous · Answer

Omg what are you thinking? You need to cut all contact out with this guy and move on. It is not a good situation to be in and also what would you be thinking and feeling if you was his girlfriend and you found out that he was cheating on you. You wil be very hurt and wonder how he could do this to you.

He clearly is a cheater and player and what's to say that he does not have more than you and his girlfriend on the go and also what's to say he would not do the same to you further down the line.

You are still young and have plenty of time to meet other guys, ones who are single and comit to a relationship. Also if he leaves her for you, you will just be the rebound and he will leave you further down the line and hurt you.

Anonymous · Answer

I really don't mean to sound so harsh but that's what you get. You don't mess with a guy who is involved married etc. How do you think the girlfriend felt when she left and apparently he loves her not you. What is sad is that you knew he had a girlfriend and you still did that and that's wrong. It would be one thing if you didn't know but you did. Men can't cheat unless they have the woman who are willing to cheat with them. I have always said if a girl didn't know about me and was with my man then ok I wouldn't be mad at her, but if she did it would be a whole other story. HE LOVES HER so yes let him go and get your own man. Trust me when this happens to you (cause it will) you will not like how it feels and will understand.

charizzle · Answer

you suck. period.

ditch the guy, find someone else who is SINGLE and not in a relationship. you should've known better than to fall for a guy who already has someone emotionally attached to him. no one will pity you. so you should stop pitying yourself. you kind of asked for it.

sumina7 · Answer

Clearly he is a guy with a weak character. You can not build a life with a person like that.

You need a strong man who may be difficult to get to commit, but once committed he will live up to his word as long as you keep your side of the deal.

So, it is good that you found out about his character early.

Stop feeling sympathy for him. You should despise him. You are acting like a baby who had her candy taken away. Grow up. What you should be feeling is disgust, not self pity.

justlovely2009 · Answer

You need to bget it straight that you were ALWAYS THE 3RD PARTY.

He only wants you when its conveniant for him. That's not good. If he actually loves you he's want you all the time.

Dump him. And no you shouldnt continue with him like that, beasue that makes you the other women who is always a "slut" if you know he has someoen else. You're not doing any good for yourself him or the other girls.

paigexhottness · Answer

This is absolutely ridiculous!

So.. You want to date a guy who cheats on his girlfriend? What makes you think he won't do the exact same thing to you? It's likely that he won't change his ways and end up cheating on you, too.

And yes, he is cheating on his girlfriend by messing around with you and telling you that he loves you.

If I were I would forget about him. He apparently gets tired of a girl after a certain period of time.

forgive-cant-forget · Answer

i think you were on the wrong from the get go he was never yours and never will be if he went back to her she has a hold of him they have many years together just let him go you might of just confused him that was why he left her and went back leave him alone if he wants you he would of never left u.

DoctorWize · Answer

LET HIM GO! He is into her, it's back and forth like a ping pong ball, you are the monkey in the middle and nothing but a rebound. Find a guy who is more honest and available. This one is not for you, she is his and he is hers.

tyrantfuryre · Answer

So if he's with a girl..cheating on her with you..what makes you think that he won't cheat on you if you two were to get together?

theross · Answer

you need to try to let him go its an unhealthy situation eventually you'll get over him and find someone else

Blankname1 · Answer

He can be hard,but you should really just let him go.It's for the best and it's really for ur self,so you can heal from this experence. Good luck!

Anonymous · Answer

*He's cheating on his girlfriend with me. I want him* Well  guess?!... You deserve him! He's a low life cheating scum who is on a major ego trip here! And you... you're ignorant for dating someone elses man! What goes around comes around! I hope somebody does it to you someday!

Anonymous · Answer

this is the type of guy that will make ur life turn upside down..do not chase pavments unless he's really worth it..if he's not sure now he is not going to be sure with you...decide for yourself...

Reeses-pieces777 · Answer

i believe that girlfriend of his deserves a better guy

Emilymarie77 · Answer

If he wanted you - he would be with you.  End of story.  A guy wants, what a guy wants.

vanessabond · Answer

I think I can help you. Please call or email me- 818.461.1632 or vanessa.bond@yahoo.com

He's cheating on his girlfriend with me, I want him!

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