Questions to Ask Girls at Bars & Clubs

Bars and clubs are never in short supply of loud music, dried olives (you'll learn this the next time that you drink so much that you start helping yourself to all the flavors of the bar caddy, or so I've heard), and beautiful women. Problem is, the first two are always available (at least until they catch you eating their olives), the third takes a little more effort. While it can seem very intimidating to talk to girls at bars or clubs, all it really takes is good timing, and courage.

While you may be scared to talk to women that you see at a bar or club, just keep in mind that the majority of them are there to have a good time and talk to people. You also want to keep in mind that the club you are at, is eventually going to close, so you can't wait forever to make your move. While you normally can't hold a conversation like you would at other places, there are some great questions to ask girls at bars or clubs to get them talking (hopefully to you, and not about you).

Drinks;
In Moderation
make your conversations more interesting, and make you better looking.

Bars & Clubs Are Social Places, So Be Social

With very few exceptions, people go to bars and clubs to meet other people. The great thing about either of these places is that people are typically drinking. Because of all of the social lubrication, you will typically sound a lot funnier and interesting (and you will probably look better too, and so will they). If you find that you filled with anxiety about the idea of talking to people that you don't know, then have a few dinks to relax yourself (this isn't something that you can do at school, or many other places that you would attempt to talk to women). Just keep the drinking within reason (to your personal limits), since you want to be relaxed and witty, not drunk and slurring.

Still, even with the help of spirits (drinking), you are still going to have to man up and start talking to women to get anywhere. Just like with everywhere else, you need to be confident and take a chance. The great thing however is that you don't have to worry about making a fool of yourself, because even if you do, chances are you won't ever see these girls again.

You Don't Have a Lot of Time Make Your Move

Unlike many other places where you can ease into a conversation, when you are at a bar or club, you are on a very limited time table. Many people bar hop, so the chances of the girl you want to talk to being around for very long are extremely slim. Because of this ticking clock, you can't wait around, you have to go talk to her right now (well, you should have at least enough time to finish reading this article).

Not only are you running out of time to approach her, when you finally do start talking to her, you have very little time to actually get her interested. A few short comments here, a witty comeback there, and a few smiles is all that you have time for before she either decides to keep talking to you, or go somewhere else. Since women are at bars and clubs to have a good time, they are going to quickly sum you up to see if you are going to keep their good time going, or bring them down.

Don't Be Pushy, But Be Confident

While the majority of people go to clubs (or bars) to socialize, some are just there to either stick with their friends, or be alone. Sometimes people don't want to talk to anyone, or they just don't want to talk to you. Either way, you should respect when someone doesn't want to talk and leave them alone.

At the same time, you have to be confident enough to take a few hits. Just because she isn't all over you when you start talking to her, doesn't mean that she isn't interested. You also need to be secure enough with yourself to take a few teasing remarks since a lot of girls flirt in this way.

Something else to remember is that a lot of women might not start talking to you when you first walk up to. While you don't want to keep pushing a girl that isn't interested, if you show that you are confident enough to stand your ground a lot of women will respect that and a least talk to you for a little bit.

Use Your Time Wisely

You don't have all night to talk to her, and even less time to get her interested, so jump in, and start talking.

Hey, how are you two doing tonight?
- Good, & you?

I'm great. So did you two come here alone?
- Yep. Did you?

Oh no. Actually I came with a few friends, but I wanted to come over and talk to you all instead.
- So won't your friends be mad that you ditched them.

(Sipping from drink) Oh yea, they're real pissed. (Smile) So, tell me, do you all party here a lot?
- (Smiles) No, we just thought that we would try it out tonight.

So how are you liking it so far?
- It's ok, just a lot of weird guys keep coming up and talking to us like we are interested.

Yea, that is kind of a problem here. The trick is to start talking to a real good looking guy and that should keep the others away.
- Well, other guys keep coming up, so maybe you're not that guy.

(Shrugs shoulders) Yea, they don't have beer goggles yet, and apparently neither do you. So how about I get you a drink and fix that? (Smiles)
- Perhaps you should make it something strong. You're going to be around a while, so I am going to need the help. (Smiles)

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Use Spontaneous Situations to Talk to Her

(One girl goes to the bathroom, and when her friend comes back from the bar, she starts looking for her)

Hey, I think I saw your friend take off with some really good looking guy. She left in quite a hurry.
- Oh, she did. (Laughs)

Yea, apparently that's the thing to do now. (Shaking head) It's really a shame that you are getting left out, I hear it's an absolute blast.
- I'll bet it is. Were you thinking that you could help me with that?

Wow. That is pretty forward. I guess I could, but I would feel better if we talked a little first.
- (Smirks)

(You overhear a girl telling her friend that she just paid $300 for her new Prada shoes, and that she can't drink because if she does, she will end up ruining her shoes since she will walk through the mud)

Let me get you a few shots. If you get too drunk then I promise I will carry your shoes so you won't ruin them.
- Well then I would get my feet dirty walking to my car silly.

Well, then I will just have to carry you to my car.
- Carry me to your car?

Did I say that, I meant your car. (Smile)
- (Smirking) Yea, whatever. Just go get the shots, and make sure to get limes.

Actually they are out of limes, some drunk jerk ate them all out of the bar caddy.
- Whatever, get the drinks.

Use Whatever You Can to Start a Conversation

Since you don't have all night to get to know her, and you probably can't rely on friends to set you up (they don't know her either, she is a stranger in a bar), you are going to have to use every opportunity to talk to her. Perhaps you got shoved into her, or she just spilled her drink in your direction. Whatever it is, use it as a subject to start a conversation with her.

If you just got shoved into her, try telling her that you don't like moving so fast, but you would be happy to buy her a drink and talk for a little bit. If you see that she just spilled her drink, offer to get her another one (assuming she isn't already talking to another guy). If she is eating olives out of the caddy, go suggest that she try the cocktail onions (they are great after all the salt in the olives, so I've been told).

In places as busy and crowded as bars and clubs, there are going to be opportunities everywhere. Just keep an eye out and grab onto one of them. Although, in the very rare case that nothing is happening around her (and you probably just making excuses in your head if you think that is the case), then just go and introduce yourself. It's amazing how powerful giving your name, and asking for hers can truly be.

Interesting Questions to Ask Girls

Like everywhere else that you may talk to women, you can't just fire off a list of questions. This is especially true at bars and clubs since women are there to be social, not to play twenty questions. Still, with your stomach in knots it can be easy to go blank, so here are some random questions to ask girls at a bar or club to keep things going.

- Where are you from?
- Do you come here a lot?
- Where else do you go to party?
- What other kinds of things do you do for fun?
- What do you like to drink (for heaven's sake, don't say, What's your poison? That's just, horrible!)
- Where are you going after here?
- Do you live around here?
- How long have you been in this area?

Everything Summed Up

Overall, talking to women at bars and clubs has its advantages and disadvantages. True you have very limited time to actually talk, but you will probably never see them again, so take the chance. Also, no other social setting allows such a free flow of drinks, which can help loosen you up, and her as well (socially).

Just remember to be confident enough to take the chance. Also don't miss the thousands of opportunities that are out there to start a conversation. Finally, if you still feel too nervous, then have a drink, and just go introduce yourself (the direct approach is amazingly powerful).

Take a chance.
You will never have the opportunity again.

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