When people tell me my boyfriend is an asshole...

[Anonymous]

I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years. Four years of ups and downs that sometimes seemed unbearable. I was never the type to speak of my relationship problems with anyone because quite frankly, its nobodies damn business what goes on between him and I. Well, in the past few weeks or so, I have heard more about my boyfriend being an asshole than I have in the entire 5 years. Let me tell you a little about him...

- When I first met him, I fell for him quickly. He was 16 and I was 17. I was also pregnant with someone elses child. He didn't know how to take it and left, for six months.

- He came back to me and asked me to officially be his girlfriend on July 5th, 2011. And about two months after that, he took my son in as his own (He was almost 17).

- He stuck up for me when all of his friends and family told him I was bad for him (within the first year of our relationship).

- He went out and got the only job he could find, at age 17, to support me and my son.

- I got pregnant with him shortly after and was put on bedrest two months in because I had placental aburption and there was a chance I would lose our child. He took care of me the entire time I was on bed rest and never once complained about it.

- After we had our daughter, he took every single penny that he had saved up and put it toward a downpayment on a home for us. He had just turned 18 a few days before.

- He helped me through my PTSD and PPD (Post Pardum Depression) for months. Even when I didn't want his help. And he is the reason why I am no longer horribly off like I was before.

- He lets me sleep in almost every morning when he gets up with the kids at 6am.

- He cherishs me.

My boyfriend has done absolutely everything for me. Since he was 16, he has devoted everything he has to offer, to me and our children. AT 16!! And you want to know why everyone thinks he is an asshole? Because instead of going out on Friday and Saturdays with my friends, I would rather stay at home with my future husband and give back to him what he has given me. I would rather spend time hiking, exploring, playing board games/video games, teaching the kids to ride bikes or further my education with him and my children then spend one useless and boring night out on the town. I am not just going to leave. Which makes my friends believe that he is controlling me. They claim I am unhappy. When they are never around to see if I am unhappy or not.

I am 21 years old. Been out to a bar once, and that was on my birthday. Had one single drink and went home to spend the rest of my day with the ones who matter most to me. Him and my babies. I am not saying I dont want friends and what not. But I am saying that I dont want or need alcoholic friends who jepordize my family and what my boyfriend and I have built. I owe my boyfriend. I owe him big time. And I repay him in the way he likes and the way I know how. By simply being here when he gets home. Have dinner on the table for him after a long days work. Watch movies that he wants to watch, no matter how much I hate them. Rub his back and feet, no matter how much I hate it. And most of all, take care of our children.

I dont know why people these days believe it is such a bad thing to be devoted to someone. After everything he has done for me, like what type of women would that make me if I just went out every weekend and got shit tanked drunk with a bunch of females who only care about getting laid by nasty, random one night-standers? I am all set.

And I wrote this because I am sooo sick and tired of hearing that he is an asshole. Most of my "friends" will see this, as they are here on GAG. Call my crazy but I dont believe that what my boyfriend has done has in anyway made him an asshole. He is not the asshole who knocked me up when I was 17 and then claimed that the baby wasn't his. No, he was the guy who came in and filled the shoes as a father to the child that wasn't his! He was the one who witnessed all of his firsts and taught him how to ride a bike and sat up endless nights trying to calm him down when he had night terrors. That makes him an asshole? he's an asshole because he works all the time to support us? No! he's not! What is wrong with the way that some people in this society view shit!?

I only have one last thing to say.. If you do NOT know someone personally because of your own lack of appearance around my family, and you have the balls to call my boyfriend an asshole, you will no longer be allowed in my life. My children and my future husband had my back when everyone disappeared.

Actually, you can think he is an asshole. But just know, he is MY asshole and thats where it stands. And if everything he has done classifys him as an asshole, well then I am so glad that I have an asshole for a boyfriend.

[sagari]

Lol! Jealous ladies! Anyways keep up the good work and you are lucky to have such a guy in your life and he is lucky to have you. All the best for the future and loved the take!

[zorro8888]

I was going to say, "it's sweet that you love your asshole"
But I realized how perverted that sounded lol

[myTake Owner]

Hahaha that is great.

[erokami]

He doesn't sound like an asshole at all! Those things he did are definitely some of the nicest things any guy could do for a girl. Your friends probably think he's an asshole who controls you because you'd prefer being with him and not your friends. You should tell your friends about it AND make some time for your friends. If you don't like the bar and them only getting drunk, then suggest to them to go somewhere else to have fun. If they refuse... then it's their own problem for not caring about how you feel.

[myTake Owner]

I have suggested it but their only desire is to go out and get drunk and laid. Its a shame really. They have only contacted me when they need a DD or want me to get wasted at a bar with them.

[erokami]

Your friends should be more understanding since you've pretty much got your life together. Try making new friends who aren't like that.

[capncool]

He doesn't sound like an asshole to me. Your friends are probably calling him one because at their age (I assume they're around your age) they don't even want to think about being parents, and they think that your boyfriend is "depriving" you of living your life. That clearly isn't the case, that's the life that you chose and if you're happy with your decision then to hell with what they think. In my opinion you're quite young to be a parent, but you sound like you're in it for the right reasons. Good luck to both of you!

[myTake Owner]

I am 21 with two kids. I am young. But as you said, I am in it for the right reasons! :)

[Phoenix64]

as per my opinion... they find it silly and unproductive for that guy who had accepted someonelse's child and spending his youth taking care of you. He's younger than you and is having a family. The society will never understand this... they see it as a guy wasting his time over this girl keeping his education and future at sake. But don't let any of these bother you... the guy loves you , never let him go. Such guys are rare to find.

[SimplyRick]

i wonder why such guys are rare to find

[Phoenix64]

I don't know why are they 'the rare ones' but i've heard about or met veryyy few of them

[inamorata]

You are such a wonderful lady! :O
So many women today get brainwashed with this narcissistic "You deserve everything..." culture that they can only think about their own needs. And you didn't let it could your mind.

I really like you. ^^

[myTake Owner]

Thank you! I believe that you should give back what you receive!

[ArchDruidMordred]

I'm pretty sure you already know this but... he's a keeper. I really hope you two last. You're friends are probably just really jealous. How old are you now?

[myTake Owner]

I am 21 :)

[ArchDruidMordred]

Lol ok. Best of luck!

[Anonymous]

you girl hit the jackpot. this gu really loves you. your bitch friendss are probably jealous that there was a man that could love yu so much and they'll probably never have someone like him. as for taking the other guy's child and becoming the father at 17! im speechless. honestly i couldnt do the things he did.

[Opinion Owner]

if you ever betray him you deserve to burn in the deepest pits of hell... .

[Opinion Owner]

i absolutely admire the relationship you two have and hope its blessed to last. and i totally agree with the vanity and dullness of the whole club and "entertainment" culture. you are mature kids. pay attention to your education though, its fundamental today.

[Opinion Owner]

and find new friends. true friends, that accept your loving hubby and you as you are. wise friends, not bimbos.

[myTake Owner]

Thank you!!!

[GirlsLie]

I'm still confused, why did people call your boyfriend an asshole in the first place? was he acting like one? or why do your friends think he is controlling?

[I_am_repulsive]

The only thing that matters is that you love each other. Don't worry about what other people thinks about you or your boyfriend.

[Anonymous]

I didn't read the whole thing
But sounds like you have different priorities
It's not fair of your friends to make comments about him like that, but it's important to make time for your friends too unless you want to be left with none

[Scrambled]

I've seen pussywhipped assholes, so whatever. But if he is good for you, it's all that matters and I wish you all the best

[XNicholeMariex3]

... I absolutely love this take. I just absolutely love it.

[Phoenix98]

He seems like a pretty stand up guy to be honest, who cares what others think anyway all that matters is that you like being with him.

[soccerchick4eva]

This take is amazing! the relationship you and he have is truly one of a kind!
Goodluck for everything that comes your way :) :)

[MarkyyG123]

Yeah likewise, I wish you guys all the best, hat off to you guys as well for perservering through this all. Good luck

[lumos]

Find actual, real friends. Because the ones you call friends now aren't really your friends, you're too different.
Good luck to you and your family.

[thatkaruguy]

i couldnt be with a girl who already has a kid unless i was in my 30s. just felt the need to say that

[myTake Owner]

Taking on a child that isn't yours is not for everyone. Some people can handle it. Others can. Its a lot of responsibility. Especially when he child isn't yours.

[vekin]

When there is really no reason to say why people him an asshole (and after what i have he seems a good guy) then i think these so called aren't really your friends

[spaceshuttle]

Sounds like not an asshole. I wish you and your family all the happiness in the world. :)

[Anonymous]

"bunch of females who only care about getting laid by nasty, random one night-standers" said the one who got pregnant at 17 and less than 2 years later got pregnant again -_-

Anyways, you seem to have a good man in your life, he gave you his youth, his best years and his happiness, he gave that for you and your kids, so I'm glad you're grateful for all the sacrifices he made.

[myTake Owner]

I am sitting here talking men up and saying not all of them are the same, and you comment on this trying to pick me apart? LOL You're going places my friend. Good luck in life.

[Opinion Owner]

And I applaud you for that, but I just find it kind of hypocrite to criticize your friends for going out hooking up, when you were the one getting pregnant at 17.

[BaileyisDarcy]

Dude, you don't know the full story. Quit judging her would you?

[Opinion Owner]

@BaileyisDarcy I comment on what she tells us, if she doesn't want us to comment on an unfinished story, then she should give us the full story, if not, just deal with that.
She can do whatever she wants with her life, I'm not gonna say anything against it cause I don't give a f*ck, I was just saying that she shouldn't complain about her friends having sex with strangers, when she was the one getting pregnant at 17. Like I said before, it's hypocritical.

[myTake Owner]

The man I got pregnant by wasn't a stranger. At least I can take responsibilities for my actions. But yep, you're right. I must be a hypocrite for not wanting to go out every weekend and sleeping with random men. I would rather be with my man and children. I am such a horrible person for that. Thank God someone told me I was making a mistake! And thank you @BaileyisDarcy for standing up for me.

[Opinion Owner]

You're not understanding my point. I'm sorry if I didn't make myself clear. I'm not criticizing your job as a mother, not at all, I'm just criticizing that one sentence where you complained about your friends, that's all I was criticizing. I wasn't attacking you as a person, just that comment.
I hope this made it more clear, if not, I'm sorry, but I don't know how else to explain it.

[myTake Owner]

For the record, Mr. Anon., I was with the guy who knocked me up for 2 years. The minute I found out I was pregnant, he left me. He blocked me off everything. He even signed off his rights to my child as soon as he was born. My boyfriend now is the second person I have ever been with. So what I said was not a hypocritical statement at all. I understand it was your lack of knowledge on my situation, but please, next time you read something like this, don't jump to conclusions. I apologize for not realizing where your criticism was referred to. Have a nice day.

[Opinion Owner]

See, that makes more sense now, and I apologize for the misunderstanding, but the way I read it was that you had sex with a stranger and he ended up getting you pregnant, the lack of detail was what led me to assume that. So now that things are more clear, again, I apologize, even though, I still think you were too young to have had two kids (what were you 19 when you had the second one?). But anyways, not my business.
You too have a nice day ;)

[myTake Owner]

Yes I was 19 and I agree. It was young. And rather close together. But shit happens when you don't take certain precautions and responsibility must be taken for my actions lol

[Opinion Owner]

Well, what's done it's done, at least you acted mature enough to step up and take care of your kids, so I can only say chapeau to that, and wish you and your family the best of luck :)

[Punkbuster107]

When are you getting married?

[myTake Owner]

Next July :)

[Punkbuster107]

Congrats. =)

[myTake Owner]

Thank you!!

[cooldudex]

you love eah other, that is all