Could we just go with the golden rule of treating people how you want to be treated? While I guess I am a feminist by definition in that I believe in equality (I've always had mixed feelings about the term), this article seems a bit to harsh in tone. Some of these are redundant or just seem like things I don't want. I am independent, but that doesn't mean I can't appreciate help when it is offered. I think some people use the independent badge as a way of covering up trust issues they have with people (though I understand not everyone can be trusted. Also, if I have standards for who I date, it's only fair that that person have standards for me. If I want respect, support, and acceptance, I should be able to give it in return, right? If not, that's called hypocrisy.
Most feminists are Lesbians, and the ones who aren't Lesbians hate men. So... what is the point of this? And don't tell me it's about equal rights. When I see feminists on Facebook/Twitter bashing men and claiming to be oppressed by men all the time, it's quite easy to see they hate men. If I was a man, I would refuse to date a feminist myself. I don't see how feminists are any different from the KKK, Westboro Baptist Church or any other hate organization.
Totally agree & nice to see female opposition to these nutjobs , OK yes there are men online that moan & bitch about women.. they are simply confused & frustrated.. the strong male sex drive is a curse sometimes... but the feminazis... they have thermonuclear levels of hatred towards men... they want to kill & destroy anyone with a Y chromosome !! Why are they so full of extreme hate !!
@Eiffelgirl21 That church makes all Christians look bad. Sickening. @FatherJack Yeah, but the good news is, girls my age aren't into the feminism agenda. I mean equal rights is good but when you bash men and hate them, that's not equal rights. Some of these so-called feminists think just because you oppose abortion, means you hate women (baby killers.) Anyway, thanks for agreeing.
@Eiffelgirl21 Yeah they're sick. I also think it's funny that some people think feminism is about the equality of the sexes just because it was in a Beyonce song. We all know Beyonce received her PhD, right? Who wouldn't take what she says seriously.
You know, I wouldn't mind dating a feminist, but to be honest I find a lot of them to be unbearable. I've never had any I'll will towards women, but they often have found a reason to label me as a sexist pig, lol. They just routinely suck the fun out of everything, which is the complete opposite of my personality which is to inject fun into everything
Basically just trat her like just another frigin person! Because that's what she wants; being seen as a normal independent human being. That means i'll call her out on bullshit if that's needed, but i'll also treat her the way she deserves just like I expect her to do the same. Because when push comes to shove, feminism is about wanting to be treated like your sex doesn't matter. So as long as she behaves accordingly, i'll treat her accordingly.
As for sexist jokes; they're just that, jokes. The problem arise when it gets out of hand, or if she can't take a joke (note that it means she's allowed to make theem the other way too).
Most non-feminist women are like this too, you know? Women that "want to be treated as an equal with respect and understanding" These tips are fairly generic and can be applied to most women so why did you feel the need to create a specific guide on how to date "feminist women" This list makes it seem like they're aliens
@CrayolaCupcake: No, that is what feminists claim to be. I have no problem with fighting for women's rights. But all feminists I have ever encountered, bar Emma Watson, hate men on the side.
@CrayolaCupcake Not all feminists, you guys have your fair share of female supremacists. Regardless, you missed the point which was most people, men or women, feminist or non-feminist want to be treated as an equal so a specific list for feminists is kind of pointless... This list implies that you need to act a certain way around feminist women BECAUSE that's what they identify as which is pretentious.
If a woman is a female supremacist or puts down men, she is a misandrist, and not a feminist. And yes, I agree about the pointlessness of this take. Hopefully it was informative for some.
@CrayolaCupcake: Yeah, she's awesome in standing for women's rights without hating on men. I have never understood fighting misogyny with misandry. I don't even think it's necessarily deliberate evil. It's evil born out of ignorance.
@crayolacupcake "If a woman is a female supremacist or puts down men, she is a misandrist, and not a feminist" Not true since you have resorted to using the No True Scotsman fallacy. Although you are correct radical feminists/female supremacists do fit the definition of a misandrist they, however, do identify themselves as a feminist and they also bring the negative reputation associated with the feminist movement. Using this fallacy undermines any criticisms that goes toward feminism since you alter what being a feminist is therefore, making the term subjective.
That is not the No True Scotsman. A feminist, by definition, is one who desires equality for both sexes. The definition of a misandrist is one who thinks females are superior to men. Yes, there are misandrists who call themselves feminists. They are wrong, and they don't change the definition of the word "feminist".
The spanner in the wheels, though, is mating. Because that does not follow nice, gentle, humane rules. A lot of guys are bitter because they are losing in the process of sexual selection. No amount of equality is likely to change that. And that is why I personally get put off by Takes like this. It seems like a list of First World Problems to me. It's written by a woman who is irritated by the behavior of her previous dates, so she just wants to offer them some pointers.
Meanwhile, 60% of guys face the prospect of being bred out of existence.
@crayolacupcake "No True Scotsman is a logical fallacy by which an individual attempts to avoid being associated with an unpleasant act (in this case, rad fems) by asserting that no true member of the group they belong to would do such a thing (in this case, you)" That's exactly what it is. I don't hate femimists but there is a reason why I am not one anymore and you can point out the dictionary definition of feminism all you want but most people judge a movement/ideology by it's action not what the definition is. Most feminist (in my experience, not generalizing) preach for equal rights but do nothing to fight for male ones. Take Marxism for example, the definition of establishing a utopian society with no social classes and private property seems perfect, but in reality it is unattainable.
Western men. Go on vacation. Meet women from other countries and you will be amazing at the contrast in cultures. Yes, they will expect you to treat them like queens, but at the same time they will treat you like a king. I'm done with this nonsense time for a change. Enough with the double standards, and having women basket in the benefits of being a man while not having to endure any of the negatives. Move on to a better life.
Im a feminist and although these are true I'd still be willing to reverse these roles. Feminism is about equality, even if it doesn't benefit you (such as men and women being punished the same for crimes).
My boyfriend is aware that im a feminist and he's pretty cool with it, I don't mind the sexist jokes as long as they don't go too far. But he'll know when to stop so I don't think it's an issue.
The thing with dating a feminist is that if she has to relate everything to it, she's probably just a bitch. You can still have a laugh about sexist things but don't cross the line, you know?
"Remember, just because she is a feminist that does not mean she is from another planet. At the end of the day, she just wants to be treated as an equal with respect and understanding. You should be treating everyone with respect and understanding anyways!" --- The hypocrisy in this paragraph is HUGE.
"If she is a feminist she will have likely had goals and dreams before you came along. Take interest in her career and dreams and encourage and support her. Better yet, be a power couple."
So if she isn't a feminist, she doesn't have goals and dreams?
What the fuck is this? You make it sound like I am dating my boss, or some authoritative figure. Heck, even that should be less formal than your description. Yeah, I would rather be with a fun girl who can take a joke and doesn't expect me to be perfect and to be wary when I talk to her. Isn't that the point of having a partner?
My answer has nothing to do with feminism, as no one seems to know what that term means anymore. It has to do with a fatal flaw in today's society.. which is the notion that every aspect of your life must follow a certain set of rules and that things won't work otherwise. People are so full of themselves, both men and women. You want to be in a relationship with the opposite gender, you don't get to cherry-pick the attributes you favor.
I simply wouldn't consider a woman who calls herself a Feminist for a wife. There is too much give and take in a marriage and too many different tasks to be handled by each to be able to clearly identify if everything is exacly even or even close at any given time. Frigging annoying. Marriage is hard enough than to add the quibbling that would come feminism. Feminists make lousy wives unless you are ball-less.
I'm one of the few girls who are not enjoy with the whole feminist deal. If I were a guy, I'd wreck my head trying to impress a girl who is waaay into feminism. I don't think it as that bad of a deal but some just take it way too serious and it makes things had for everyone else.
You're not one of the few girls. Actually, young women under 30 DESPISE feminism. Feminists are usually in their 40's/50's and won't be around too much longer. Feminism peaked in the 1970's/80's.
Sorry but I'm raised in a family where there is a "Women are always the boss" mentality. I don't want any part of that crap. Either I'm the boss or we share the power, and here's why. In ALL instances I've seen where a couple operates under the "women rule" way of life, the woman doesn't respect the man at all and they push him around to the point of actual ridiculousness. When I get into a relationship I would want my SO to respect me. I don't want to be like my parents where the male is a puss and the female is overly cocky.
That's what happens every time you TRY to share the power. She takes over and makes the guy a puss after years of perpetual struggling. You can't share it. It's an impossible concept in a relationship.
I honestly can't stand women who identify themselves as a feminist. If a man were to go up to a woman and tell her to bash in his manliness she would get all offended and call him a sexist pig. I'm sorry but some women just need to be stopped.
Huh. It always seems to me feminists have a chip on their shoulder, a victim card to play. Idiotically, it seems women think that slaving away at a job is it's own reward... foolishness.
I won't date a feminist simply because there is nothing feminine about them at the first place! They all seem so messed up, moronic and half-retarded that the idea of dating them. Ewww! They are such turn-offs!
Let this be a big reminder to all feminist - you wanna be all crap headed, you're destined to live alone with no respect. Or you can either change tracks, become more womanly and mature and we can guarantee you will get tons of love from us.
But I'm sure you wouldn't disagree with the fact that modern day young women who declare themselves 'feminists' actually come across as bossy, rude and very unintelligent. Its like they think that being a feminist means being bossy and rude. At least thats what my personal experience is. I know some women who declared feminist and I tell you they are just total turn off - their attitude towards men, the hatred they have, and at times the envy and the attitude they possess is just plain disgusting and third class.
I have never seen my mother declare herself as feminist, and yet she's one of the strongest and respectable women I've ever known. Something which I will always take pride in.
I can agree with you to some extent the real meaning of feminism, but sadly some modern women are just too diverted from it.
And thats what I actually meant, equating feminism with bossy and rude behaviour is actually very wrong :) In fact such people cannot be called as feminists, they are just plain immature. A woman can be a feminist but she need not abandon her female persona.
I love how in the first step it says to let her views be heard, but god forbid you speak your views on how feminism is completely irrelevant today and then offend her by speaking what you believe in. Sounds like a double standard. I also love how women are so INDEPENDENT and POWERFUL but can't handle when people cat call them on the street. A rational person would ignore it because they don't care!
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
119Opinion
Could we just go with the golden rule of treating people how you want to be treated? While I guess I am a feminist by definition in that I believe in equality (I've always had mixed feelings about the term), this article seems a bit to harsh in tone. Some of these are redundant or just seem like things I don't want. I am independent, but that doesn't mean I can't appreciate help when it is offered. I think some people use the independent badge as a way of covering up trust issues they have with people (though I understand not everyone can be trusted. Also, if I have standards for who I date, it's only fair that that person have standards for me. If I want respect, support, and acceptance, I should be able to give it in return, right? If not, that's called hypocrisy.
m.cdn.blog.hu/.../feminsim2.jpg
www.quickmeme.com/.../...ed4495acdb41430331ee4.jpg
Etc etc etc.
Love this! Haha
Lol! that's what I thought it would be after I read this but I was surprised that it was correct.
s3.amazonaws.com/.../...49ef-89ed-5e8f08ae5b40.jpg BS of anything that should say "If he saw his DADDY treating his MOTHER good, he'll do you the same way most likely". i1127.photobucket.com/.../...f.com-gif-maker_3.gif
Most feminists are Lesbians, and the ones who aren't Lesbians hate men. So... what is the point of this? And don't tell me it's about equal rights. When I see feminists on Facebook/Twitter bashing men and claiming to be oppressed by men all the time, it's quite easy to see they hate men. If I was a man, I would refuse to date a feminist myself. I don't see how feminists are any different from the KKK, Westboro Baptist Church or any other hate organization.
i agree with you. and omg I have never heard of that church until now. wow that is terrible!!
Totally agree & nice to see female opposition to these nutjobs , OK yes there are men online that moan & bitch about women.. they are simply confused & frustrated.. the strong male sex drive is a curse sometimes... but the feminazis... they have thermonuclear levels of hatred towards men... they want to kill & destroy anyone with a Y chromosome !! Why are they so full of extreme hate !!
@Eiffelgirl21 That church makes all Christians look bad. Sickening.
@FatherJack Yeah, but the good news is, girls my age aren't into the feminism agenda. I mean equal rights is good but when you bash men and hate them, that's not equal rights. Some of these so-called feminists think just because you oppose abortion, means you hate women (baby killers.) Anyway, thanks for agreeing.
I know! I can't believe that! I am christian and I am blown away. That is more like a devil church...
@Eiffelgirl21 Yeah they're sick. I also think it's funny that some people think feminism is about the equality of the sexes just because it was in a Beyonce song. We all know Beyonce received her PhD, right? Who wouldn't take what she says seriously.
haha I know right! sad everyone listens to celebs these days. the way they talk, dress, act, and what they believe in is reflected from them
You know, I wouldn't mind dating a feminist, but to be honest I find a lot of them to be unbearable. I've never had any I'll will towards women, but they often have found a reason to label me as a sexist pig, lol. They just routinely suck the fun out of everything, which is the complete opposite of my personality which is to inject fun into everything
Basically just trat her like just another frigin person! Because that's what she wants; being seen as a normal independent human being. That means i'll call her out on bullshit if that's needed, but i'll also treat her the way she deserves just like I expect her to do the same. Because when push comes to shove, feminism is about wanting to be treated like your sex doesn't matter. So as long as she behaves accordingly, i'll treat her accordingly.
As for sexist jokes; they're just that, jokes. The problem arise when it gets out of hand, or if she can't take a joke (note that it means she's allowed to make theem the other way too).
Most non-feminist women are like this too, you know? Women that "want to be treated as an equal with respect and understanding"
These tips are fairly generic and can be applied to most women so why did you feel the need to create a specific guide on how to date "feminist women"
This list makes it seem like they're aliens
Women that "want to be treated as an equal" are feminists. That's what feminists are.
@CrayolaCupcake: No, that is what feminists claim to be. I have no problem with fighting for women's rights. But all feminists I have ever encountered, bar Emma Watson, hate men on the side.
Oh, I'm sorry. Perhaps I can be the second feminist you've met that doesn't hate men? Emma Watson is awesome, isn't she. :)
@CrayolaCupcake
Not all feminists, you guys have your fair share of female supremacists. Regardless, you missed the point which was most people, men or women, feminist or non-feminist want to be treated as an equal so a specific list for feminists is kind of pointless...
This list implies that you need to act a certain way around feminist women BECAUSE that's what they identify as which is pretentious.
If a woman is a female supremacist or puts down men, she is a misandrist, and not a feminist. And yes, I agree about the pointlessness of this take. Hopefully it was informative for some.
@CrayolaCupcake: Yeah, she's awesome in standing for women's rights without hating on men. I have never understood fighting misogyny with misandry. I don't even think it's necessarily deliberate evil. It's evil born out of ignorance.
I completely agree. Men and women should be working together to solve the inequality problem, neither sex should be put down.
@crayolacupcake
"If a woman is a female supremacist or puts down men, she is a misandrist, and not a feminist"
Not true since you have resorted to using the No True Scotsman fallacy. Although you are correct radical feminists/female supremacists do fit the definition of a misandrist they, however, do identify themselves as a feminist and they also bring the negative reputation associated with the feminist movement. Using this fallacy undermines any criticisms that goes toward feminism since you alter what being a feminist is therefore, making the term subjective.
That is not the No True Scotsman. A feminist, by definition, is one who desires equality for both sexes. The definition of a misandrist is one who thinks females are superior to men. Yes, there are misandrists who call themselves feminists. They are wrong, and they don't change the definition of the word "feminist".
@CrayolaCupcake:
The spanner in the wheels, though, is mating. Because that does not follow nice, gentle, humane rules. A lot of guys are bitter because they are losing in the process of sexual selection. No amount of equality is likely to change that. And that is why I personally get put off by Takes like this. It seems like a list of First World Problems to me. It's written by a woman who is irritated by the behavior of her previous dates, so she just wants to offer them some pointers.
Meanwhile, 60% of guys face the prospect of being bred out of existence.
@crayolacupcake
"No True Scotsman is a logical fallacy by which an individual attempts to avoid being associated with an unpleasant act (in this case, rad fems) by asserting that no true member of the group they belong to would do such a thing (in this case, you)"
That's exactly what it is.
I don't hate femimists but there is a reason why I am not one anymore and you can point out the dictionary definition of feminism all you want but most people judge a movement/ideology by it's action not what the definition is. Most feminist (in my experience, not generalizing) preach for equal rights but do nothing to fight for male ones.
Take Marxism for example, the definition of establishing a utopian society with no social classes and private property seems perfect, but in reality it is unattainable.
Yeah, I understand what you're saying. Thank you. :)
Western men. Go on vacation. Meet women from other countries and you will be amazing at the contrast in cultures. Yes, they will expect you to treat them like queens, but at the same time they will treat you like a king. I'm done with this nonsense time for a change. Enough with the double standards, and having women basket in the benefits of being a man while not having to endure any of the negatives. Move on to a better life.
Dude im using this
nice joke. Are you the female Comedian?
images4.fanpop.com/.../...n-21353437-2000-1339.jpg
Im a feminist and although these are true I'd still be willing to reverse these roles. Feminism is about equality, even if it doesn't benefit you (such as men and women being punished the same for crimes).
My boyfriend is aware that im a feminist and he's pretty cool with it, I don't mind the sexist jokes as long as they don't go too far. But he'll know when to stop so I don't think it's an issue.
The thing with dating a feminist is that if she has to relate everything to it, she's probably just a bitch. You can still have a laugh about sexist things but don't cross the line, you know?
"Remember, just because she is a feminist that does not mean she is from another planet. At the end of the day, she just wants to be treated as an equal with respect and understanding. You should be treating everyone with respect and understanding anyways!" --- The hypocrisy in this paragraph is HUGE.
"If she is a feminist she will have likely had goals and dreams before you came along. Take interest in her career and dreams and encourage and support her. Better yet, be a power couple."
So if she isn't a feminist, she doesn't have goals and dreams?
Get a grip.
What the fuck is this? You make it sound like I am dating my boss, or some authoritative figure. Heck, even that should be less formal than your description. Yeah, I would rather be with a fun girl who can take a joke and doesn't expect me to be perfect and to be wary when I talk to her. Isn't that the point of having a partner?
My answer has nothing to do with feminism, as no one seems to know what that term means anymore. It has to do with a fatal flaw in today's society.. which is the notion that every aspect of your life must follow a certain set of rules and that things won't work otherwise. People are so full of themselves, both men and women. You want to be in a relationship with the opposite gender, you don't get to cherry-pick the attributes you favor.
1/4
I simply wouldn't consider a woman who calls herself a Feminist for a wife. There is too much give and take in a marriage and too many different tasks to be handled by each to be able to clearly identify if everything is exacly even or even close at any given time. Frigging annoying. Marriage is hard enough than to add the quibbling that would come feminism. Feminists make lousy wives unless you are ball-less.
I'm one of the few girls who are not enjoy with the whole feminist deal. If I were a guy, I'd wreck my head trying to impress a girl who is waaay into feminism. I don't think it as that bad of a deal but some just take it way too serious and it makes things had for everyone else.
You're not one of the few girls. Actually, young women under 30 DESPISE feminism. Feminists are usually in their 40's/50's and won't be around too much longer. Feminism peaked in the 1970's/80's.
Sorry but I'm raised in a family where there is a "Women are always the boss" mentality. I don't want any part of that crap. Either I'm the boss or we share the power, and here's why. In ALL instances I've seen where a couple operates under the "women rule" way of life, the woman doesn't respect the man at all and they push him around to the point of actual ridiculousness. When I get into a relationship I would want my SO to respect me. I don't want to be like my parents where the male is a puss and the female is overly cocky.
That's what happens every time you TRY to share the power. She takes over and makes the guy a puss after years of perpetual struggling. You can't share it. It's an impossible concept in a relationship.
How to date a feminist: You don't.
I honestly can't stand women who identify themselves as a feminist. If a man were to go up to a woman and tell her to bash in his manliness she would get all offended and call him a sexist pig. I'm sorry but some women just need to be stopped.
Omg you're right feminist are messed up
Huh. It always seems to me feminists have a chip on their shoulder, a victim card to play. Idiotically, it seems women think that slaving away at a job is it's own reward... foolishness.
Tips for dating a feminist:
1. Do not date feminists.
The end.
I won't date a feminist simply because there is nothing feminine about them at the first place! They all seem so messed up, moronic and half-retarded that the idea of dating them. Ewww! They are such turn-offs!
Let this be a big reminder to all feminist - you wanna be all crap headed, you're destined to live alone with no respect. Or you can either change tracks, become more womanly and mature and we can guarantee you will get tons of love from us.
Then you're clearly uninformed as to what a feminist really is.
Yes, I can very much agree with you.
But I'm sure you wouldn't disagree with the fact that modern day young women who declare themselves 'feminists' actually come across as bossy, rude and very unintelligent. Its like they think that being a feminist means being bossy and rude. At least thats what my personal experience is. I know some women who declared feminist and I tell you they are just total turn off - their attitude towards men, the hatred they have, and at times the envy and the attitude they possess is just plain disgusting and third class.
I have never seen my mother declare herself as feminist, and yet she's one of the strongest and respectable women I've ever known. Something which I will always take pride in.
I can agree with you to some extent the real meaning of feminism, but sadly some modern women are just too diverted from it.
And thats what I actually meant, equating feminism with bossy and rude behaviour is actually very wrong :) In fact such people cannot be called as feminists, they are just plain immature. A woman can be a feminist but she need not abandon her female persona.
I love how in the first step it says to let her views be heard, but god forbid you speak your views on how feminism is completely irrelevant today and then offend her by speaking what you believe in. Sounds like a double standard.
I also love how women are so INDEPENDENT and POWERFUL but can't handle when people cat call them on the street. A rational person would ignore it because they don't care!
1. pay for the bill 2. be a gentleman
will she hold the door for me?
will she pull out my chair?
will she hit me if I cheat of her?
will she offer to go dutch?
if not - then not a true feminist. Just someone on the feminist train trying to make their lives easier