How many times have you logged onto GAG, or any other website for that matter, and saw a list of "The types of guys/girls you will meet in high school" or "The five types of men/women you should avoid dating" and so on. I'm sure you've seen these many times. However, interestingly enough, certain types of people seem to avoid these "master lists."
One thing is for certain, teachers don't miss these lists at all. I've seen numorous lists about the types of teachers/professors you'll have in high school/college. With this being said, dating is a huge topic here on GAG. I can't tell you how many times I've seen people bash singles(especially single males) or talk about why we should avoid talking to them, or why they are "weird' and so on. However, I see absolutely no criticism on these so-called "Dating Coaches."
I'm not a fan of dating coaches. First of all, I'm under the belief most of them are doing it as a scam. They tell you what "needs" to be heard to get a date and they get their money and that's all they care for. However, I do think a portion of them are honest and ethical people but I even have an issue with these dating coaches, since they are often the naive type of coaches.
The biggest problem I have with all dating coaches, is they assume all men and all women want the same thing. We obviously know this isn't true. Interestingly enough, it seems an overwhelming majority of dating coaches AND their clients are male. I don't know if this is to imply that males are generally more desperate, OR males generally need more help in this category. Either way, this list will cover males and females and why it's near pointless for them to even consult a dating coach. It will also include the behaviors of dating coaches from men and women, not just male dating coaches.
Keep in mind, I've never seen a dating coach(and I probably never will.) So, you may ask where I'm findin these coaches at? I'm finding them all over the internet. I see them on Youtube, various dating sites, self-improvement sites and now on GAG. This isn't to completely insult coaches but it's more of a criticism then anything. These are NOT exclusive either: You'll come across other types of dating coaches too but these are the most common ones I see. So, let's get this list going!
Dating Coach Type One: The Dillusional Optimist: There is nothing wrong with being an optimist. I try to be more optimist as I live. However, there is a fine line between optimisitic and dillusional.
These dating coaches I've seen think we live in the wonderful world of fantasy. Where the sun is always shining, and everyone is always happy. They think there is no such thing as a superficial person in the dating scene. These people will often tell you "Dating is 100 percent personality and nothing else" or use catchy slogans such as "Once you love yourself, love will then find you." This all looks good on a bumper sticker, and this also looks good in movies, such as The Notebook. These dating coaches absolutely refuse to believe looks, social status, fame, or money play any factor in the dating scene. They will tell a guy who is jobless that he has the same chance with women as a millionaire. They will tell a morbidly obese woman she has the same chances as a supermodel. Of course, there are exceptions here but let's face some reality: We're living in a harsh, cruel world! Superficial people are everywhere, especially here in my home country(The United States of America.)
I wish this was true. But I refuse to be an dillusional optimist.
Dating Coach Type Two: "Mr./Mrs. Approach-Em"-These dating coaches are usually geared towards men but it seems they have now reached women as well, thanks to progressive thinking. For the sake of explanation here, I will assume in these explanations they are geared towards men. For men, these dating coaches have one advice AND one advice only: Approach the woman. Approach, approach, and did I mention approach? I mean this makes sense, because why would looks, personality, social skills, or personal interests come into play?(sarcasm, ahem.) Of course, location doesn't matter either. It can be a night-club, it can be the woman's restroom: These dating coaches don't care, the fact is, JUST approach her. A woman can say "I hate being approached" but as long as you approach her, you're fine. A guy can approach a girl and tell her he wants to rape her and murder her family, but hey, he approached her!
If approaching is ALL that matters, than I should be able to walk up to Megan Fox and automatically get her to sleep with me, right? Ok, that was an extreme example but you get the jist. Many people don't want to be approached or many people only want to be approached a certain way OR by specific groups of people. The internet has made this more difficult as well, since face-to-face interaction is becoming more rare. With women under 30, I notice they don't even prefer to be approached for the most part. They often call these men "creepy" or "weird." Let's face it, the movie scenes where all the guy does is approach a girl simply isn't the case.
Any time someone gives SINGULAR advice such as this shouldn't be taken serious. It's like a pitching coach in baseball telling a pitcher to "THROW THE BALL" and offering no other help. Out of every type of coach on this list, I find these the most inaccurate.
Dating Coach Type Three: The "Harsh" Coach-This is the exact opposite of the "Dillusional Optimist."These are the pessimistic coaches who look on the down-side of everything. Once again, we need to find a happy medium. I realize the harsh realities of the dating scene myself, but Major Payne and his colleagues take it too far. Not only do these coaches spend about an hour bashing you and telling you that "you're the problem and it's your fault", bla bla, which can get very annoying. These same coaches aren't afraid to tell you that people will reject you because you're fat, ugly, lazy, poor, etc and claim ALL people are superifical. You'll often see them giving people advice to lose weight for the sole purpose of dating someone, or get a better job or the money(to appease gold-diggers.) They won't mention personal interests, personality, compatability, etc. They completely focus on the shallow issues.
I'm no stranger to complaining about shallowness myself but these "coaches" need to ease it up a bit.
Dating Coach Type Four: "The Hook-Up Coach"-These coaches are virtually always men and geared to virtually only men. As a matter of fact, I've never seen a female coach or female client coach OR affiliate themselves with this type. These coaches are similar to the other ones I've listed, they will give you tips, advice, may or may not focus on superficial qualities, and so on. However, they pretty much only focus on having promiscuous sex with random women and "hooking up." These same people will sometimes tell you to pay for hookers, which defeats the purpos of even seeing a "coach" in the first place.
Truth be told, I mainly care about sex, so I'm fine with this. However, they promote FALSE ADVERTISEMENT. FALSE. They are not "dating coaches" as they claim, they are people who want you to degrade women and solely use them for sex. These people are also phony.
Dating Coach Type FI've: "Mr./Mrs. Beauty is Heart-Deep"-This final type of dating coach I will focus on is similar to the "Dillusional Optimist" but not quite the same, since they solely focus on looks or physical appearance. I feel these dating coaches actually gear more of their "material" towards women, as opposed to men(but I've seen this used on men too.) This could be due to the beauty double standard between males and females. For the sake of explanation, I will use these examples from a female client's point of view.
First of all, forget the notion "beauty is in the eye of the beholder." They think there is on version of "attractive", one version of "average" and one version of "ugly." For instance, Angelina Jolie is attractive, Jennifer Aniston is average and Hillary Swank is ugly(obviously, 100 percent of men feel this way.) They tell the woman to lose weight but not for health or self-confidence reasons. They do it because guys find skinny women "so hot" and they must be "hot" to get a guy. I'll be the first to admit men are more visual than women but this doesn't mean that's a positive quality. To take it even further, these "coaches" even focus on the way you dress. They think we have to always "Dress to impress", instead of dressing how you want to dress. What a waste of time.
Maybe these coaches should watch the famous Disney movie Beauty and the Beast.
So, there it is! I won't judge you if you seek a dating coach, however, I recommend avoiding the ones who fall into these categories(if that's even remotely possible anymore.) I personally believe in trying on your own without the assistance of dating coaches.