People with Asperger's are a unique breed of individuals with certain skills and personality traits that distinguish them from a person without Asperger's. Some are very emotional, others are emotionally distant. Some are very talkative, others are quiet, etc.
If you girls come across as guy with the condition, remember that nothing is wrong with him, it's just his brain differences that can affect the way he communicates with you.
Here are are some important tips on getting to know one of us:
1. Don't judge him for having difficulty with language expression. Some of us can have interesting and humorous conversations but if we stumble upon our words or pick a basic word to piece the next sentence together (i.e. "That was very.. ideal") , then we're not scared of you, in fact we could struggle like this to all people, guy or girl. It's just a part of our brain that's been programmed differently at birth.
2. Do not pass him off as a "nice guy" for not being playful. This is crucial. Aspies have a bad rap for saying things offensive and lewd so many of us respond by trying to be polite and respectful. It's not that we're trying to win you over with kindness, we just don't know how to tease or "mess with" someone in a playful way without receiving a black eye. Our language difficulties can give us lots of trouble on what to say when we're trying to banter you, so give him some space there.
3. If you want to show your interest in him, make the first move in flirting (not asking out because we'll muster the courage once we know you like us). Example is to poke him once on the shoulder when making a friendly remark. That will be enough for us to recognize that it's ok to touch back. Aspies have a difficult time with touching a girl we're interested in because we don't want to come off as creepy when we make the move.
4. Don't shame him for not having sexual partners or relationships in his teen years and early 20s. Most Aspies have a variety of reasons for being single all these years that have nothing to do with our personality. We could be hitting puberty late. We could be in a special education classroom with few opportunities to meet new people (props to those in college without learning accommodations). We might discover our diagnosis late and still trying to work on our social skills.
Whatever the reasons are. Once we're self-sufficient and willing to treat you right, there's nothing to fear from giving him a chance.
5. NEVER, NEVER, EVER play the chase or "hard to get". Most of us were picked on and teased as kids during grade school. They used to see us as easy targets due to our gullibility. For example: They can pretend to be our friends and take interest in what we like then, blow us off when the time comes and leave us crying.
When a girl plays the chase or mind games, she's assuming the guy can play it back when in reality we're trying to get over the dirty tricks that scarred us for life. We prefer to go up to you and tell our feelings directly instead of playing around with "the chase".
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