After a pretty messed up situation invovling an ex friend of mine I wanted to let some people know what it's like to be a woman who just does not seem to know how to handle having someone genuinely interested in them.
1. When someone we like seems to like us back, we really do not know how to react
Again, women who are not all that experienced in relationships are a little shocked when someone actually wants to be around us.
2. When we do hang out with you, we want to make sure that its going to actually be worth our time.
Most of us have gotten used to being alone. As sad as it sounds we are expecting you to get bored of us within a couple weeks.
3. If you say you like us, but there is some other girl that you are "just talking to" that's a red flag instantly.
This is a big thing. Not only that, but that's shady, you cannot expect us to believe that you're only talking to this "other girl". If you like this other girl more than us, save us the time and agitation of wondering how we are going to compete with this other girl.
4. If you are STILL hanging around us, kissing us, telling us that you care about us, hanging out with us alone, and doing the things most women and men would consider to be a "couple thing", we are going to think that we are well on our way to being a couple and we will be on cloud nine thinking "Oh my god, I actually might be able to have a relationship.." its the most bizzare and scary feeling in the world to think that somone out there can see through our tough exterior and see that we do indeed have some love that we can give.
5. If by any chance you are really not that into us after hanging out: TELL US!!!
It does not matter if you think it might hurt us, chances are, we already experienced some pretty nasty things coming from the very few relationships we had, so nothing you say as long as its truthful will hurt us. We can respect honesty believe it or not.
What you do not do is assume we know that we are not what you are looking for and then go back to "the other girl" and suddenly form a relationship with her and not at least tell us about it. If we have to find out that you are in a relationship with another girl after you had just hung out with us days or hours prior, we are not going to think that you just stepped out on us. Finding out that things are not working out would be a lot better coming from you, not a friend, not through some social media website, from you and you only.
6. If we do find out through someone else that you are now dating some other girl when you had been giving us signals a couple days before, then its going to piss us off, big time. We will not be too happy to know that we were played out and did not even know it. Again, if things are not working or we are doing something that is throwing you off, then tell us, we are not love experts we do not know what to say or do. We like to take things one step at a time so do not think that we are going to be clinging to you. It does not matter how close we were as friends before, if you do this, you not just ruined a potential romantic relationship, our friendship could be destroyed with it.
If the girl is one of the distant closed off types that you normally do not see showing much emotion, you will see it then, and its not going to be a trip to fun land if you try to approach her about what happened.
Chances are, like me, the girl will be pissed off enough to verbally just go at you with everything we have, because us putting ourselves out there is risky, and feeling like we got cheated may make us a little sad, but anger will outweigh it.
7. If you decide to try and say that you thought we knew about this other girl, then you really need to think back.
If you are hanging out and talking to us and doing the things couples do mere days before you get with this new girl, then we obviously had no idea that we were being kicked to the curb. Do not think we are magicians and we know about everything that goes on in the universe. And if we go out of our way to show you and tell you that we like you then clearly we did want something, your excuses suck, and we do not want to hear it.
8. Now, here's the sign that your friendship could possibly be over. If you two text often and have real conversations this could change drastically. She might just text you for info that she needs or when you text her, her answers will be blunt, and quite possibly rude. We are still fuming over what happened and want you to know just how angry we are, and nowadays people can seemingly sense emotion over texting, so the overall tone of her texts can be a signal of how she's feeling. If she gives you one or two word answers and those couple words leave a sting...she's probably to the point where she no longer cares for you and she wants you to know that. We had feelings and they got crushed, so we want to make you feel the same way no matter what it takes.
Your sad face emojis will not make us feel sympathy either, that acutally might make us smile.
If you did not want to talk to us before, why would you bother now. You do not just get to come back to us just because we are mad, talking to us about the direction of our possible relationship would have been better from the beginning.
If we decide to cut you out of our lives, then that's your fault for not being honest with us.
9. If by some miracle all we needed to do was take a step back and calm down before we became friends again, then that's a good person.
When we admitt our feelings, its tough, its not every day we let ourselves become vulernable to emotions, love being the biggest one so the worst thing in the world for us is to have someone we do love take our feelings and just smash them into the ground. What you are doing is making us believe that we cannot be loved and that any time we do feel something, its going to end badly.We withdraw more, become more resentful, we become even more pessemistic about the idea of finding someone that will one day love us. You do a lot more damage than you think, and sometimes it's irreversable.
10. Don't think you cannot be replaced or that we will wait around on you...
If you played us out then we will remember it, and if one day we do find someone its a guarentee that the man (or woman) we love is exactly what we are looking for.