I've seen numerous gripes about online dating not working for guys and girls and I'm going to offer criticism and suggestions in this mytake to assist with these issues. Keep in mind I'm talking to the more legitimate dating cases and excluding the fraud issues like fake photos, catfishes, and so on.
From the guy's perspective I see the usual cases. There's a guy going around messaging girls sending out endless messages every day. They then come to the site complaining. There's 2 things going on though.
1st is the fact that the guy's honestly just messaging girls all day. What does he do aside from that? He may work, but does he do anything else? Chances are it's some video gamer sitting at home who either works or goes to school. That doesn't leave much else. Thus, he has time to message girls online all day hoping for a date. Where are the hobbies? Where are the interests? If someone were to meet him what would they do? Does he like any sports perhaps? Running? Golf? Bowling? Anything! My brutally honest opinion is that a lot of these guys really aren't doing much, especially the ones in their 20's nowadays. I love video games trust me. I play them every so often. But nowadays it truly is a bunch of kids sitting at home not doing anything. No physical activity leading to poor body image and so on. You can't keep a girl's attention if there isn't anything to pay attention to. Yes these girls get 50 messages a day sometimes, but if they're mostly from people who aren't doing much with their lives they're typically not going to be interested. Add in the fact that them being alone makes their ego turn to stone and they feel they're so awesome that girls should be approaching him and now he's definitely not going to be talking to any women. So my honest suggestion is that these guys aren't struggling solely because of online dating. They're using online dating as a way to get around their fears of trying to get a date in person. They don't go out to meet girls which is only legitimately excusable when you have a situation like moving. They're struggling because they don't go out due to the fact that they're at home all day and never developed any social skills. So they go online to look for a girl and fail just like they would in reality.
2nd is the fact that a lot of girls have their own issues. They're seeking online dating for a very specific reason. The gold diggers and players are not as common as they seem though. They're definitely on there but they have no interest in the casual guy. A gold digger will more than likely message guys who flaunt their money online compared to a jobless bum. I've seen many cases where the girls are honestly players just like many girls have seen guy players online but remember, if you're a genuine person they're not likely to be interested in you. The biggest reason a girl would give me for using online dating is "she was bored" which usually means she was just looking for attention online. Many girls admit they just go online looking for attention. They want an inbox of false admiration and praise. They'll put up misleading photos negating their body image underneath their face and won't meet anybody because they know they aren't attractive. I've definitely met my share of crazies online. But overall most girls are just really scared of dating and/or are hooked on the attention they're getting from using online. We're living in a society where social skills are so crippled that people can jump these hoops and meet. There are girls who even struggle to delete the profile because they're so hooked on those emails that they potentially lose the desire to even commit. It's the equivalent of being hooked on getting "likes" off of facebook.
With that said there's a very real issue that needs to be addressed with dating and that is meeting in person. You'll mostly hear of the guys complaining about when they do get a reply back, they message a bunch then the girl stops replying. This can be frustrating. My honest suggestion to both, but mostly the guys is to limit the messaging and move on. 3-5 messages and arrage a meet. If not, she was likely to never intend on meeting you to begin with. I'm well aware that the typical guy is going to ignore this suggestion but the chances of meeting a girl are so little when you message 50something times back and forth then what usually happens if you do meet is you two have a mislead perception of each other and meet and you likely find out you two are actually not who thought each other were. Fictional representations of the person are made because it's text. In person the chemistry ends up being very different.
So basically if you're a guy messaging girls and do get a reply. Keep them fairly short and aim it at arranging a meet. If she makes an excuse that she "wants to get to know you better" realize how unintelligent she sounds because you(should) have a profile that she has read that allows her to get to know you better and the purpose of meeting is to get to know each other better. Just because you meet for coffee doesn't mean you're a couple. Also if she's making up all those "serial killer" stories(referring to those insane stories online) it makes her sound even dumber because it means she messages serial killers online in her spare time and she's indirectly calling you a serial killer, kidnapper, etc. Don't let this attention sponge take your valuable time away. You want to meet real people. She doesn't have what it takes. She needs to delete her profile so guys can focus on the real people that don't hide behind monitors and cell phone screens all day.
So hope these tidbits gave you some insight on online dating.
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