Going on a Big Date: Why It's Okay to Date Bigger Women

You just met a great girl. She’s got an adorable face, a killer sense of humour, and she seems to have the kind of personality you really jive with. But there’s one thing about her that is verging on being a deal-breaker for you. She’s overweight. You were brought up with pop-culture seeing toned women as being acceptably attractive, and your friends make fun of fat girls…and this great girl you just met has some pounds she could lose. Do you date her or forget her?

Going on a Big Date: Why It's Okay to Date Bigger Women(No, this isn't me, but gee is she ever cute!)

As a big girl myself, I have had many men pass me up and hilariously, all for reasons that made them want to avoid admitting their fat-shaming. “Oh you should look after your health,” I’ve heard. Well, what if I told you I do look after my health. Perfectly! As a non-smoker, and someone who eats relatively healthy, my weight gain was brought on by metabolism slowing from effects of polycystic ovarian disorder. Nothing for you or me or anyone else to be alarmed about. Just lots of non-harmful cysts on the ovaries, that’s it. But thanks to that, no matter how often I exercise or how little I eat, the weight won’t really budge.

Now that we know I’m otherwise healthy, with a doctor’s clean bill of health given to me each year during my physical, who’s to say many other women aren’t also healthy but just have a few more pounds than you’d like to see? There really shouldn’t be much of an excuse to not date a big girl – unless the big girl simply isn’t attractive to you. If not, then disregard. You have a type and that’s understandable.

Thin doesn't equal attractive. It’s all a preference in the end. This is not a skinny-shaming myTake. This is to understand that if you're simply concerned how being with a bigger woman might look to others because the stigma attached to big women is often unnattractiveness while thinner woman sometimes fly under the radar. For the guys who are on the fence and worry about what their pals will think of them or how they’ll treat his new girlfriend, there are some things to consider before you waste away a good relationship with her.

Weight can be lost and gained. Unless a woman also has what I have (PCOD), your bigger girl may find herself losing some weight because now she’s in love. It actually happens. A woman with a partner now eats a little better, with their mate, and has an underlying want to make better life changes. It’s because her mood is uplifted, and she’s not thinking of snacking anymore, she’s thinking of doing things with you. Changing her eating habits may be one of them. If weight comes off, it’s because it’s done almost unwittingly because she’s so happy she’s with you. Then again if it doesn't who cares? You originally liked her for the way she was, right?

You can’t be a boob-man and expect your girl to be thin. For the guys who really do love large boobs, just know that most very thin girls don’t have the breasts that we bigger girls have unless they pay for them. I get it, some thinner women do -- but most do not. More weight usually means more weight distributed to areas such as breasts, hips, and buttocks. If you want natural and large breasts, you can certainly find them with us free of charge if that's your thing!

We embrace life. We are the ones who are not afraid to eat, and likely not afraid to be cooks ourselves. We walk around knowing we've got added weight, so why hide it by pecking away at salads in public? We don’t care that we put extra mozzarella cheese on our lasagne, heck we even add more after it’s baked. We love to feed you just as much as we love to eat with you. We dabble in trying new things, and if they taste good, we’re not going to freak out over every calorie. That’s how we became so passionate when it comes to food and drink. We know what tastes amazing.

Branching out from that is…

Your mom is going to love us. Most moms are looking for a woman for their son who is going to “take care of them” and know that we’re feeding you right. We might even be so complimentary to ask your mom how amazing she makes her signature plum cake. But your mom is also observant, and she can tell if you're choosing a girl for shallow reasons or trying to find that trophy girlfriend. Maybe your mom wasn't a perfect ten in her day either, and she might feel as though you are missing out on the type of great woman your father fell in love with.

**SEX NEWSFLASH**

We actually try harder to give you better sex. We know the cards are stacked against us because we know most of society just accepts thinner women's bodies as being beautiful, giving them the upper hand to be a tad more confident than we are (as we self-consciously hide our tummy rolls from you in bed). We want to compensate for this perceived imperfection, so we want to become a lot more appeasing in the bedroom! We’ll suck a little longer, and grant you permission to do things maybe other women didn’t want to do because we really want to impress. We know we’re big and having our clothes off is kind of a big deal. We have to deal with it all the time from cruel ex-boyfriends who have made hurtful comments to us. We make up for it by giving you, the guy we should have been with, a great experience in bed. I’m not saying we’re better lovers than thinner women, but we certainly know that if you’re already against our bodies, we’re sure going to make you rethink it with other things we might want to try on you.

Lastly, how much weight are you opposed to if you are on the fence when deciding to date a bigger woman? A little muffin top? Tummy and thigh trouble? If you’re picturing a very obese girl and this is not your thing, think of the women who have normal weight distribution, just more of it who really aren’t that heavy, they're pretty much normal. If you are self-conscious for her, and she’s not, maybe dating her will teach you a lot about acceptance and finding beauty in something you thought you never could before.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • "Your mom is going to love us. Most moms are looking for a woman for their son who is going to “take care of them” and know that we’re feeding you right. "
    Why does her being a bigger woman instantly mean that she can cook, loves to cook, and is interested in cooking meals for her husband? I know a lot of smaller girls that can cook, love to cook, and are very interested in cooking meals for their husband. That has nothing to do with size.

    I don't understand the point of this article. If guy finds a smaller girl attractive, he'll date a smaller girl. If he finds a bigger one attractive, he'll date a bigger one. There is no stigma against it and, even if there was one, it would hardly affect his decision if he really found one more attractive than the other. Frankly, I find bigger woman attractive. I also find smaller woman attractive. The most important thing to me is a woman's heart. If she has a rotten inside, then her outside is of little interest to me. If she's got a good heart, then that's when I'll consider her. If she happens to be in a bigger body, I'll love her to pieces. If she's in a smaller body, I'll still do the same. There's no sense in putting one size down to build the other up in either direction. How about, it's just okay to date whoever you fall in love with? If she's skinny, good for you! If she's bigger, good for you!

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    • "We embrace life. We are the ones who are not afraid to eat, and likely not afraid to be cooks ourselves."
      That's definitely not true. I know tons of girls that are super tiny that just have a really high metabolism, but they love eating and cooking. In most cases, they eat even more than I do. Definitely false.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm reading the comments and I do see where people are saying it's socially unacceptable, unattractive, etc and others saying that it has nothing to do with society or how weight is portrayed in the media. Two words... Renaissance Era. Actually, up until the 1900s, it was more desirable and sought-after for a woman to be overweight. Artists even portrayed REAL women in their works. In today's society, women are photoshopped and "fixed" before society sees them. Media and society DOES play a big role in how we accept people. mountiangirl.wordpress.com/.../

    As far as people saying that bigger girls don't do anything about their weight... bull****. Every woman that I know who exercises and fights with their weight is someone who is bigger. No, you will NOT see many of them in the gym. They are too embarrassed and worried about being made fun of while they are there. Instead, they workout at home or with other people who have weight struggles. My sister fought with her weight all of her life. She eats healthy/clean and does crossfit training 6 days a week. She has seen multiple doctors. She was told that based on her food intake and her exercise, she should not be the weight she is. Being overweight does not automatically equal lazy, bad eating habits, lack of exercise, etc. It's just easy for people to say that, but they really have no clue, nor do they care. I have a friend who is skinny, but eats like a pig, smokes, drinks, and never exercises. She may be seen as automatically healthy because of her weight, but she really isn't. We can't assume things by looking at someone. This can be applied to every person, no matter their looks or supposed "flaws". Society/people really need to start seeing each person as an individual and getting to know the actual person before making the rash and sometimes harsh judgements. People need to stop being a**holes and realize that nobody is perfect, not even themselves. Each person lacks in some area of their lives, whether it be physical, mental, emotional, their personality, whatever. Everyone needs to get over themselves.

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What Guys Said 67

  • They are bubbly, they enjoy a great laugh, they like trying new food, they are very loving and nurturing.

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  • Fat acceptance, it's not just for the men!

    i3.kym-cdn.com/.../5c6.png

    /sarcasm

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    • lmao I saw a funny one like that where it showed a fat, shirtless Zach Galifinakis drinking and it said real women go for rolls, 6 packs are for alcoholics.

    • Actually in a way that are both handsome 😆😆😆

  • Once again. you've pretty much nailed it ! Those are the reasons I like chubby girls ! They love life ! They are not always in a bad mood because they are denying themselves everything. I also like the fact that she makes me feel good about myself. I don't feel pressured to be up to her strict standards. So by going easy on herself, it enables me to go easy on myself. Also, BREASTS ! lol

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  • I don't mind dating big women. I have one rule: no eating disorders. I hold skinny women to this same rule, although usually different disorders. Also, most of the bigger girls I know are more fun than the skinny chicks I know. They are more accessible in a friendly way. They just seem more... real. Like, they couldn't get away with shit personalities just because they were deemed by society to be beautiful. Not saying that all skinny girls are, just saying that a high percentage of bigger chicks are not.
    Also, I am a cuddler, and while small girls are cute and dainty, they're not nearly as fun to hug as a big girl is. All I'm saying: pillow heaven.

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  • or how about we all take a big fucking cup of "shut the fuck up and date whomever the hell you want!"
    Look, i'm sorry if i come across as rude, but this whole take reeks "i need an excuse to be fat". Yes, some look good, but what about your health in 20 years? 30 years? 40 years?
    Obesity is the biggest killer in the western world, and about 50% are overweight. Should we embrace what's clearly a lifestyle KILLING us? I don't know about you, but my answer is "no i will not." Because i want to live instead of just being alive when I get old. Besides, it's much more satisying to be fit and be able to enjoy the world we are given. And that world is NOT found in concret jungles and carefully planned parks!

    So i'm sorry, but no. Obesity isn't compatible with the life I want. And when picking a partner, compabilit is EVERYTHING! When push comes to shove, political correctness doesn't matter for shit.

    So date whomever the hell you want, and preferences are fucking fine as long as you're not being a hypocrite about it! But don't shove your beliefs down someone's throats.

    Lastly, there's a whole loft of "maybe" in your take. The truth is, to me being obese screams "she can't take care of her own body", and living on the countryside where being politicically correct isn't a thing, i'm pretty sure my mother would thing the same. There's more to "embrace life" than to eat lots of food, what about living in the woods, seeing the forest, you know... actually getting outtadoors? And that both leads to a fit body, and is pretty damn hard to do if you got 20kilos too much (you tend to end up huffing and puffing). You know what taste amazing, but do you know how to make it, or just where to order the food? tell you what tastes amazing; beef from raindeer fillet! Grilled fish! Sure, i love hamburgers, pizza, and all that, but being big does not equal bieng able to cook.

    I have nothing against genuinely curvy women (in fact i love them), but the whole "fat acceptance" (Which this take is, because normal people can do EVERYTHING here equally well) deal is not cool, especially since you make is sound like fit women can't do anything mentioned here.

    and to end it all, guys are hardcoded to find overweight off-putting, and you can't chnage it a single bit. It's in our genes.

    Dartmaul15 OUT

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    • I don't think you read anything I wrote to be honest, because right at the start I say that if you're not attracted to a big girl that's fine. Even the title says "it's okay to date a big girl", I also go on to say that it's about how a guy should look past stereotypes and consider things he hadn't before.

      A big girl doesn't sit on a couch all day (common belief), or that she's inexperienced and has had no boyfriends to know well enough how to give good head (guys shocked when they learn she can be great in bed). There are many things people assume, and they are so quick to judge the big girl than a thin one. You think thin women aren't holding couches down or living unhealthy lives? They do and they don't. Just like we do. Some do and don't, but you take one look and assume the worst.

      You say there's no excuse to be fat, how about anymore than there is to scream at me about it, which is sort of how your response sounded with your caps and exclamation points.

    • look, i judge by what your take communicates, not what you say in the first paragraph. And honestly, if you remove that then this take seems a tad hostile towards the more fit girls. Just how I feel it.

      I know you claim to get out, but my point about the wilderness still stands. 20kg too much does create problems, and more often than not overweight is caused by an unhealthy lifestyle with either too much food, or not nough excercise, or a mix of both. Here's the truth; for most people maintaining your weight is about eating what you need. Nothing more, nothing less. Sure, some have slower metabolism, but that just means they need to adjust their dietary habits.
      obesity rates has SKYROCKETED, and there's no way you can blame that on genetics.
      So yes, you are statistically not living as actively and eating as healthy as fit people do. There's the odd exception with a real medical diagnosis, but they're not the rule. And it they are, then i'm even more fucking terrified (cont)

    • because that means said medical conditions have gone from impacting a couple percent, to well over THIRTY!
      That'll make it a bloody pandemic!

      But enough science.

      Yes some guys are taking you for unloved virgins, but that's kind of thanks to how the man unloved virgin is; overweight and full of achne. So the male stereotypes have kicked back and made them asume you've gotten the same treatment as chubbier guys.

      You scream, i scream, we all scream in here. No different really, so sorry but that point is moot, because your take did exactly the same thing.

  • Now I love an athletic fit woman but big girl or thick whatever you wanna call it I love it Lol
    I love a woman who can be herself and who can eat. I don't want anyone trying to be pretty eating some chicken fuck it up cuz I know I am but yeah I loved this mytake

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  • "For the guys who really do love large boobs, just know that most very thin girls don’t have the breasts that we bigger girls have unless they pay for them."

    True, most VERY thin girls don't have the breasts bigger girls have. However, many thin, medium weight or girls with a high waist to hip ratio DO have large breasts (maybe a majority.) You need to understand there is more than just "very thin" and "overweight." There are so many different sizes and types than those two.

    I'm a butt guy and I prefer big butts. I like curvy women. I define curvy as a body type with a low waist to hip ratio. The girl in the video below would be an amazing body to me.

    www.youtube.com/watch

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  • There has never been anything wrong with dating bigger women. I don't know any guy that has ever been made fun of for dating a fat woman. If a guy started making fun of another man's woman, then he is pretty much looking to get beaten up. Maybe some socially awkward guy in middle school might make fun of his friend for dating a bigger girl, but it isn't a problem for adult men.

    Bigger women can easily find a guy. They just have to find a guy on their own level. The problem is that a lot of women would rather remain single than settle for the kind of guy she could actually get. I know plenty of big women that don't have any problem finding a man. Generally the only women having a hard time finding a man are the ones with serious social disorders, or the women that have unrealistic standards.

    Blaming society won't change anything. You sound like when guys whine about girls not liking nice guys, when really it is just because those men don't have any traits women are attracted to other than being nice.

    Fat men and women are going to have a harder time dating. We shouldn't fool ourselves into thinking we shouldn't have to work on ourselves to impress a partner. It is our responsibility to put the work in if we want to find a mate. We aren't owed a relationship, nor are we entitled to be seen as attractive by others.

    We all know men and women, prefer healthy partners. In fact beauty is nothing more than an indicator of health. A woman doesn't need to be a stick, but any shift too extreme in her weight of being too skinny, or too fat will make her less attractive, and reduce the number of guys interested in her.

    If a person can't lose weight for some reason then they need to find some other way to attract a partner. Looks aren't everything, but you have to have something the other person is looking for. For instance if the guy wants to start a family, she might make a great mother to his children. People have to offer what the other person is looking for.

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    • Well, it does happen. A guy wondering if he should pass up a girl likes because of fear of what others will think because of her weight have been topics right here on GaG. Even with that, women and men joking about a person behind their back is something done all the time because of weight, so what are people supposed to think when they meet someone already knowing people are against them because of how they look?

  • *thumbs down*
    I have no problem at all with bigger girls. However, you think bigger girls embrace life more than thin girls? There is no correlation between weight and how a girl embraces life.
    My mom would be happier to see me with a bigger girl? My mom isn't shallow enough to judge a girl I date based on her weight or appearance.

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    • Yep, I do think we embrace life more so than thinner women (and if you can tell by my example, it's mostly about food) so we'll have to respectfully agree to disagree. I've been exposed all too often to hearing thinner women fuss over whether or not to order dessert because they're afraid to put on a pound than anyone else does. Also, when eating I hear people refer to the saying "live a little" when they're afraid to eat something that is full of calories.

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    • That's fine, as I said well just disagree then. Food is a big part of life for many people, even thin people. Kitchens are the heart of the home and people gather there to cook, eat, share, at least once a day, sometimes more to live their lives. I get what you're saying though, life outside the kitchen such as embracing change or embracing new things to do, things that don't involve food. My example was about food being a big part of life.

    • Also, regarding a mom liking an overweight woman because they'll "take care of them and know that we’re feeding you right" and I looked at the obese girls, I thought about how many people think about being "well fed" or "obese" is healthier. I doubt my doctor agrees.

  • You know, I seriously wish I was attracted to large women's bodies.

    You know why? Because life would be so much easier. There wouldn't be one shrinking subset of women who get to just play with the level of attention they get. Hell, there would also be many more fish in the sea.

    I tried it. I tried dating big girls. I tried looking them up and telling myself "that is ideal. That is hot." What resulted was heartbreak, confusion, and lack of chemistry.

    I tell ya, if you feel like garbage for turning down a perfectly good girl because you don't feel it, it feels worse to feel like you are lying to a friend, wasting her time when she could be with someone who LOVES the curves.

    But as for me, I tried being attracted to big girls, and I tried being attracted to guys. Turns out, I found guys more attractive, even though I don't date them. That is, as a straight guy, I find Hugh Laurie to be leaps and bounds more attractive than Rosie O'Donnell.

    The problem with fat acceptance is not whether or not people are attracted to it. The problem is what people do when they aren't attracted to someone. So you can't see yourself in bed with her? Don't sleep with her. It's simple as that. No need to be an asshole about it. No need to pay her less or see her as beneath you. No need for the nicknames.

    Not to imply men are the only ones guilty of this sort of judgement.

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    • Yeah there's been times where I meet up with a girl who used misleading pictures and was a lot fatter in person and I tried forcing myself to be attracted I couldn't. People think that's fat shaming but it's really misleading/deceit shaming. It's better to be disliked for what you are as opposed to being liked for something you aren't.

  • How is this piece NOT trying to shame us into going out with fat girls?

    "We embrace life." That's a great attitude... "We are the ones who are not afraid to eat" ... until that bit.

    Embracing life =/= eating, especially the 'putting extra cheese on stuff' type of eating you describe.

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  • This is like convincing a Muslim to eat pork. Or going to Popeyes chicken, order a 3 piece meal (thigh, leg, breast) but instead you get fried chicken pen*s.

    Preferences is not a well respected thought amongst humans.

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    • I didn't kno it was like that ^^^

      Considering she stated this was aimed, NOT at people who weren't attracted to it...

      But ok

  • No one said it isn't OK to date bigger women, we just don't want to. If I don't find bigger women attractive, I don't have to date them. Whoa, what a concept. It's not society keeping bigger women out of my dating pool, but my own personal preference on sexual and romantic partners. I keep myself fit and in shape. I expect the same of any potential mate.

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  • There's no need trying to persuade anyone, at the end of the day people like what they like and nothing you say will change that.

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  • I have a bit of a weakness for big women with pretty faces. The size doesn't really bother me if her face is hot.

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  • Stop calling fat women "big". They're FAT. Call it as it is. Being fat is unhealthy, people are not attracted to unhealthy people, deal with it. Besides, ever wonder why there's no takes about why it's okay to date fat men?

    You'd rather make BS takes like these, rather than lose some weight.

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    • I don't mind the term big, but I prefer overweight, obese, etc. Problems arise when it's used as a euphemism, which is sadly the case. Calling a spade a spade is just important sometimes to avoid miscommunication, even when it hurts.

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    • @SweetAndSassy14 men do not like obese women, get over it and stop whining. I am entitled to my preferences.

  • So many rude gag males here, i'm not surprised the feed is full of questions on how to talk to women...

    I understand ur point, like the take

    My preference girls r usually a little heavier than the "typical fit chick" whereas i wouldn't personally say they were fit or athletic more so skinny

    My preference is usually near my hight, and can probably lift more or out do a lot of the guys on this site

    Example, massy arias, ella ann kociuba, suelyn

    www.fitandfurious.com/.../ErinSimmons_FF3.jpg

    Random chick that looks good

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  • As much as the "fat acceptance movement" wants to pretend otherwise, you can't shame people into being attracted to people or traits they don't find attractive. It isn't even an entirely conscious decision in the first place.

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  • You paint a rather binary picture in your "We embrace life" paragraph. Almost as if a slender person cannot love food the way you do. Being careful about what you eat doesn't necessarily mean that you don't love food. And both food-worship as overzealous calorie-counting can be destructive in their own ways. One can lead to gluttony and obesity, the other to paranoia and anorexia.

    How are your insulin-levels by the way? PCOS-sufferers usually have pretty crappy insulin-resistance, resulting in high blood-sugar levels. Which is part of the reason why it's quite a bit harder to lose weight.

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    • Hello there, fellow person who speaks sense. People really like to ignore insulin resistance, and even more so its treatment, which is usually diet and exercise.

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    • @PhiOmega No. My comparison didn't have anything to do with muscle mass. A skinny person burns less calories than a fat person because there simply is less fat to sustain. But a lean, muscular person will more than likely burn more calories than both of them. You're right in that aspect, though keep in mind that a pound of muscle burns about 6 extra calories per day. Not exactly a whole lot.

    • Oh, forgot to add that extra fat burns calories too. A pound of fat raises your energy requirement by about 2 calories a day.

      But as you can see, the actual numbers are pretty minor. Which is why people really ought to not use them as a serious argument for or against losing weight. Caloric intake and the kinds of food you eat matter more, along with exercise.

  • Everyone has a different tastes, but if you're solely on looks, your missing out on the more important things, personality, background etc. Take some time to know sombody and you maybe be pleasantly surprised

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    • Well while looks aren't everything, the person has to be somewhat attractive for me to date them. It can't be an extreme where the girl has a great personality/common interests but no physical attractiveness or a girl being very physically attractive but no common interests/dull personality.

    • I get what you are saying, there's got to be a mix

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What Girls Said 24

  • I was beginning to like this article.
    I even loved the part when you said you wouldn't shame thin women.
    But you ended up doing so, that's where things started going down hill for me.

    In this article you were speaking about why your body is better (more breasts and ass) and about how you try harder at sex.
    You're pretty much comparing yourself to thin women here.
    You're making a generalization about how we are sexually and that isn't right.
    Whether someone tries hard or not has to do with the individual not numbers on a scale.
    Also if your body type was so desirable , why do you have an article trying to convince people that it is?
    I'm all for big women.
    But don't shame us.
    You can make your points without doing so.

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    • Your intentions are good. But when you're making an article that many will read you have to pick and choose your words carefully.

  • I'm a big girl (not obese but a little overweight) and I have a boyfriend who is pretty fit. People automatically assume that if you date a bigger women that it is a "fetish", which is not the case. He actually accepted me for who I was and not because of what I looked like on the outside. I was so surprised. I thought I would never find anyone because I was bigger. I thought that all men liked skinny girls.

    My man actually encouraged me to get healthier for my own good because he is obsessed with working out and stuff, so I thought I would give it a try. I've been loosing weight ever since. I'm not doing it for him. I'm doing it because I don't feel comfortable in my own skin.

    Anyway I throughly enjoyed your take.

    "Fat acceptance" isn't about promoting obesity, it's about loving yourself at any size and encouraging people to get healthy. Why doesn't anyone understand that?

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  • Guys will like what they want. I'm not attracted to overweight guys and that's just how it is. Sometimes you have to accept that the majority of men won't like you as an overweight human being.

    The first girl is super hot though.

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  • If you have to try to convince a guy to date you...
    Im sorry but that is kinda sad.

    Guys are just typically not attracted to fat girls. the big women that you posted pictures of are good looking, but they are also plus sized models cherry picked for their beauty and nice proportions. the majority of fat chicks dont look that good, and the ones that do typically dont have trouble with dates. im from the south where men love thick women, and even girls the size of the models you displayed get love and have guys chasing them... but anything bigger than that isn't attractive to most guys. also most guys prefer thick women with small waists. i dont think the issue is guys caring what their friends think. guys will date strippers, hoes and hot girls with 3 baby daddies. IF they find them attractive. you dont see overweight girls in the majority of mens magazines because they typically aren't what men like and want to see. they just aren't the ideal fantasy woman. what guy fantasizes about double chins and fat rolls?

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  • Some of these comments are horrible. It literally makes me sick to my stomach to read them. I think a lot of people missed the entire point of this Take. I think it was very well written and I agree with most of it.

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    • I don't think it was that well-written at all. Especially her point about big girls "embracing life" and then basically gushing about food as if people who are of a healthy weight cannot possibly enjoy eating. That's just silly.

      But don't get me wrong, I am not against people who date overweight women. I kind of prefer them myself.

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    • @Remonster sure we can.

    • Thank you. So many rude people here. I don't know why overweight women are so hated.

  • The amount of times I got turned down for being a certain size is incredible, and its never even me that contact them 1st. It's a personal preference, I can't do anything about that. I have to respect the fact that they like women who are fit/slim /skinny whatever term it is. Only one thing I cannot stand is, when the guy says he loves my personality/ pretty much everything about me, then he says but I can't date you because of your size. SO he goes off to date a girl who is slender and pretty , but she's mean to him /disrespectful so he complains (this happened to me) . I know when dating someone you want to be physically attracted to them, but looks do fade. You also want to be compatible with that person looks are not going to hold up the relationship. In today's age looks is all that matters, it doesn't matter if that person hits you calls you names and all.. If they look pretty and have a nice body that's all that seems to count.

    Me, I don't care what size you are (as long as you take care of yourself. Shower/clean/good hygiene & etc.) if you're good person I will be interested. I've dated husky/skinny/average/fit men before, if they have an amazing personality & treat me good vice versa. That's what should catch ones attention & keep it.

    There are a lot of people who may find me attractive, I just have to be patient. Why would I want someone who is only interested in me physically.

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    • He let a female disrespect him lol and he complains about it what a simp. I'm attracted to you but if you don't like football and can't cook food like my mama can't do it

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    • @AdenAK
      Sometimes I feel the same way with skinny, lanky guys.. when a lanky guy hugs my short chubby body I feel disgusted.. even though they find me to be the most adorably sexy thing walking I most like avoid them like the plague...//sarcasm
      Dude I don't care how you feel about me and my size.. you're only one person out of 7 billion people in the world... so your opinion about me being F. A. T (fabulous and thick) doesn't really affect me.. lol not only that but just because I wear a pants size 9-11 doesn't mean I don't wear my weight well..

      Sincerely yours, Sweet and Sassy14

  • I have mixed feeling about this piece. I feel for the individuals like yourself with medical conditions preventing them from losing weight but i also dont think its right to celebrate being overweight. First of all, you said, you are otherwise healthy, you have healthy exercising and eating habits. However you then made a point saying overweight girls are more fun because they can eat anything they want. But they shouldn't, maybe currently as young people they are going to the doctor and taking a clean bill of health but ITS FACT that obesity and overweight people have more long term health problems such as heart disease, high cholesteral, and many others. I am in no way disagreeing with your initial point, too many men overlook women with extra weight, but in the process of defending that point i think your ideas strayed a little bit. I used to be large and in charge and recently i have lost 30 lbs because its the healthy thing to do, and my boyfriend is overly supportive but he admits he liked me just as much when i was fat. So rather than writing an article about overweight women being more likely to throw down half a pizza and suck dick for longer i would have written about the power of a supportive partner and the things men can do to encourage their loved ones to live a more healthy lifestyle.

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  • The way i see it, if someone wants to look hideous, let them. Pretty? Let them. Big? Let them. Thin? Let them. It's not your body to be saying yes or no to.
    If you want to find love, you'll eventually find it. There's someone out there for anyone who wants someone. We can't MAKE people accept something just because we accepted it. Everyone was born with their own mind... try using it once in a while.

    @MyTaker good job explaining how u feel. It was very well written.

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  • I kinda like scrolling through the comments to see how many comments get down votes, up votes, and whatnot. It's entertaining to see how many people agree with each other or not.

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  • Noyce, aunty and some arrogant pook heads who thinks that weight can be maintained and stay thin regrdless of any health conditions.

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  • oh my god the stuff you've said about thinner women not embracing life as much as bigger women? because thinner women worry more about calories from what YOU'VE seen? there is nothing that makes me think 'she's embracing life' when i watch a giant woman stuff her face with abandon, nothing about 'she's embracing life' when she counts calories. they're living life!

    EMBRACING LIFE is living happily and tackling challenges, embracing relationships, trying new things. that same woman you judge as not being as ~embracing of life as you are~ is carefully going through what food she will or won't eat because she's going to run a cross-country marathon that coming week. the woman who decides to finally just not get the cookie is going to audition to be one of katy perry's back-up dancers and tour the world with her. the woman who leaves half her plate, unwilling to eat it, is worried about throwing up before she jumps out of the airplane with her parachute.

    you can throw out as much 'i'm not thin-shaming BUT...' as you want, it's the same as 'i'm not fat-shaming BUT...'

    i'm tired of all this stuff about why men should date big women blah blah blah WE ARE ALL PEOPLE and we need to get healthy!! just because it's hard for some people to lose weight isn't an excuse for them to just NOT BE HEALTHY AT ALL.

    and this being positive about body-image stuff that is just thinly-veiled implications about why we bigger women are better than thinner women is absolute horse shit.

    healthier women are more attractive, sorry. and toned women are more attractive because they LOOK healthier. sickly thin women aren't attractive to many people either because /they look unhealthy/. and big women? look unhealthy.

    i'd happily read an article about how pop culture has altered our view of beauty and how unhealthy that is for our young women. but this article is just as unhealthy and harmful to our young women. you are shaming thin women which means you are shaming a GOOD PORTION OF WOMEN and you should be ashamed of yourself.

    i'm an overweight girl and i'm losing weight because i'm /being healthy/. i want to be healthy for my own health, not so people will date me ffs. and the benefits of health should be spread like wildfire. not one of these passive and not-so-passive aggressive articles written by someone who is so jealous of healthy women they have to subtly put them down. this article is SO HARMFUL and you don't even see it oh my god smh...

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    • There is a belief that all fat people do is sit around and hold a couch down. (As if skinny people don't?). This embrace life thing is about just that, we're up and doing things, contrary to popular assumption.

      But that's fine, think what you like, I know what I wrote here. I write "we embrace life" and you see "thin women don't embrace life". It's like wine, the bottle says it has hints of an apricot taste, yet someone drinking will taste pineapples. You're going to read whatever you think you saw.

    • 'You're going to read whatever you think you saw.'

      ... lmao

    • :) Have a great day then.

  • Obesity is an epidemic and be treated as such. Overweight people should be shown thats not socially acceptable to be a fattie.

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  • Lol at how this assumes guys are hesitant about dating "big" girls because they don't want their friends to make fun of them. In reality, being fat/overweight is just an unattractive quality, aesthetically speaking. It doesn't look good and suggests laziness.

    It's also unhealthy because it increases a bunch of health risks like heart disease and diabetes. No bueno.
    somefun.net/.../Being-fat-is-unhealthy.jpg

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  • What is the goal of this myTake? I don't get it. Beauty comes in all sizes, body shapes and ages. The healthiest is being in a normal weight, even though I get how this is difficult for some people to achieve. And just like there are men who like underweight women, there also exist men who like overweight or obese women. If a man doesn't like overweight women, then you can't change his mind. If a man is very concerned about society's opinion on dating a woman, it means he doesn't love her enough. And I think you can eat, try new stuff and cook in a normal weight. I wouldn't want to 'cere' for a man, I'm not his mother. I'm a firm believer that house chores should be shared. As for what you said about sex, that big women do more stuff in order to compensate for their weight, is actually insulting.

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  • im not saying that bigger women are bad people but im sorry its just not attractive. people come up with a million excuses as to why they're overweight. this might sound harsh but not many people like men and women with flabs of fat. its honestly gross. im not saying that skinny is super hot but its better than fat. im so sick and tired of obese women saying that they're "thick". www.google.com/search that is thick. the pics you posted are fat. no one wants to walk around with a whale. the boobs thing isn't true. yes fat women have bigger breasts but they're just ugly. there's a difference between big breasts and huge breasts on obese women because they're so fat. please stop trying to promote this "big women are hot" thing. too skinny isn't attractive either. someone over a size 14 is truly fat. obese women need to hit the gym instead of complaining and crying that men dont like them. an average or skinny women can eat a lot too. im a great cook and im not fat. i used to be overweight and i look so much better now that i've lost it. a little bit of fat is okay but obese is not. im pretty sure i can satisfy my man with both sex and my cooking skills because it won't take me 10 min just to get up from the couch.

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  • I really like the message behind this take Anon! It's so positive and uplifting! I really want to go do some extra yoga and enjoy extra carbs today XD

    Our bodies are there to be lived in not suffered through right? Great job Anon :)

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  • Overall this is a good take even though I disagree with some of the points made. Appearance wise, I am very tall and thin like a bean pole, at 170 lbs.

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  • This take was beautiful 😆💕👍🏆

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  • You know... Reading this actually made me feel better about myself. Lol! Just because I'm chubby doesn't mean I need to change myself for a guy. Yes, I am working on losing weight and eating healthy but unfortunately my metabolism has always been slow but that doesn't stop me! So many people (mostly guys) don't even give a girl a chance because of her weight.

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    • Aww that's good, and yeah most people don't get why some people do have a slow metabolism. Some of it is genetics too.

      Sometimes it also takes a person to get past their initial reaction to know there's more to a woman than her body. For example, I was at a bar once and a thinner woman was getting hit on. She had a terrific body and had these guys knew it, but... her face was lacking... I don't know. Just something about her. Me, I was sitting beside them and none of them hit on me and I was perfectly available. When I finally turned to them to see what they were doing and saying to this other girl, they saw me, and one guy locked eyes with me a second. He then came over and said, "Holy shit you're beautiful.. those eyes!" and left her sitting there. I was past being interested wanted to be someone's second choice so obviously. But I'll never forgot that. Usually the guys would pass me, then after see my face and then do something about it. :) Thats usually our story, isn't it?

  • Just wanted to say you picked some awesome examples, some of those women are so beautiful lol

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