Going on a Big Date: Why It's Okay to Date Bigger Women (Page 2)
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What I find funny is that there's a movement to make big women acceptable in the dating world and a movement to encourage guys to consider dating them, but there's no movement for women to consider dating overweight guys or make them acceptable in the dating world. Hell they even have nightclubs specifically reserved for big women , but none for big men. Also you never hear anyone say there's benefits to dating a overweight guy, but you always hear people say that there's benefits to dating a overweight woman.
Well, there's the 'dad bod' fad. But it's just that, a fad. Fat-acceptance for females is just a lot more persistent, and of course fueled by feminism and a culture that seems to value "doing whatever the fuck you want" more than taking responsibility for your own actions.
Yea when it comes to females yes, but if a guy is overweight, he gets ridiculed, told to "man up" and hit the gym.
Actually I'm in it for the personality I don't force anyone to lose weight.. I'm definitely not like that...
I'm going to be honest, I couldn't date an overweight girl, the attraction isn't there, it doesn't matter if she was healthy, I simply could never give my love to a fat girl. And to try to then (inevitably) end up failing to do so would just be even more unfair. And don't act like this is just a thing guys do, I lost my hair to scalp confined alopecia. I have to shave it completely bakd, and I've never heard girls describe anything as 'eww' 'nasty' 'gross' straight to someone's face as this, and I have no options as far as getting hair back, so all in all I believe both sexes share an inherent level of 'shallowness' I'm bald but still hold higher standards for a girl I know I could give all my love to without having to try to force it-but most all girls overlook are slam me, it sucks but I keep going for the kind I like waiting for one of them to like what she sees, fat girls should do the same, but not vilify guys who simply aren't attracted to an extreme aesthetic characteristic.
Also when I say fat, I mean it just to describe and not slanderous, but no for me two physical features matter most- face, a pretty face is huge, and if she is slender. If they match those and are sweet I'm good to go, if they don't then it's a no go for me.
There's one problem throughout the entire take and it's the "society has brought you up believing that only thin women are beautiful" thing. When will people understand that attraction is 80% biology and 20 or even less % social norm. Even if I grew up in a cabin in the woods I'd still find overweight girls less attractive. That's nature. Deal with it. You don't see fat men being delusional and demanding that women like them. They're realists, they either get fit or accept their fate or what not. It's high time women do the same.
I disagree. There are different points in history when thin is in, or big is in. Such as the Renaissance period when to be big was preferred, it showed a sign of wealth, and to be thin was considered sickly. These sorts of beliefs trend, just as right now the trend is to encourage people to *stop* these trends and accept people for who they are. Enough with the false beliefs and misinformation, if you have a type, fine, but let's all get along about it. No point in shaming people that you don't find attractive. There are men out there who don't mind bigger women but are afraid to date them because of what people will think. Those were comment I heard when I was single: "I like you but Josh doesn't think I should go out with you." This type of crap. And no, this isn't a *denand* to date anyone. It's a don't-listen-to-others-and-do-what-you-want wake up call.
Please don't misunderstand, I am not shaming anyone. For a 20 year old male I'm rather scrawny myself but I don't for a moment think that society conditions women to be attracted to fit males. I'm not even considering changing women's minds on that. Instead I'm working on improving myself instead of coming up with lame excuses. And as for the example you gave about the Renaissance, it was true to some extent. But being above average weight was not a sign of being attractive but of being wealthy. There's a difference between the two. And if the paintings are an indication of anything, the women in them weren't really fat. They were pretty much average. Not slim but not fat either. They were nowhere near the women you presented in those pictures.
@ThisDudeHere, venus is the goddess of beauty in greek mytology. The paintings venus with a mirror by Titian and Venus at a mirror by Rubens depict venus. She is pretty fat and would be considered overweight today. She is the goddess of beauty, so that pretty much sums it up. Fat was considered beautiful. It's funny how you are in denial about it though...
Denial. That's quite the thing to throw at someone in a debate. Especially coming from someone who wants others to change their opinion of an unhealthy body instead of working on it. And I don't see how she was fat, she seemed like she had way less weight than the women you portrayed.
But all right, presuming you are right and attractiveness is dictated by social norms. What next? How will you feel when I start shaming women for proffering more fit men than me? Listen, I have nothing against fat women feeling good about themselves (for some reason) but I'm tired of being shamed for not considering them attractive. Even if I mention that it's just a preference, I always get the "oh society conditioned you that way and it's wrong and hur dur".
If women want more men to be chubby chasers, then they shut show an example by doing precisely the same thing in regards to fat men. But see NO such thing coming from women. There are no "all fat men are handsome" movements.
There has been no pressure on men.
No one goes around shaming a male celebrity for a 5 kg weight gain.
Yet everyone is pretty vocal about their dislike of overweight women.
See it's the media, that's promoting muscular guys with tight abs and whatnot and because you are young and have been exposed to the media, you think that's how men should look. But I can assure you most women don't mind men with a little extra weight as long as he can make up for that personality wise. But women are reduced to their looks alone. No matter how nice, charming, funny, intelligent and pretty she is, if she is overweight she is not acceptable.
Yes I will not deny that more emphasis is put on how women look unlike with men. When a man accomplishes something great, people ask "how did he do it? What is he like?". Unfortunately when a woman does something remarkable, the first and immediate questions are "how does she look? Is she taken?" and etc. That I have deduced by myself. But my problem with this whole movement is the lengths to which it goes. Instead of shaming men for preferring more fit women, it should just simply teach people not to shame fat women and it should encourage them to get fit, instead of coming up up excuses for them to do nothing and forcing men to like them.
Again, I have absolutely nothing against a fat woman. I can be her friend. Heck, I can be her best friend if need be, I wouldn't be ashamed of that. But I wouldn't date her. I would, without shaming, encourage her to get in shape but I wouldn't consider her equally or more attractive than more fit, or at least average weight women. That's that.
I resent that. I don't want to, nor should I be *encouraged* to be fit. Nothing wrong with how I am. What's wrong is your perception. How is it then my husband will tell me not to change a thing but if we were married you would tell me to get fit? And please don't say chubby-chasing. Guys like my husband have dated all shapes, and there are many more guys out there like that.
You would encourage your overweight friend to lose weight? How about I encourage you to stop being so superficial because your statement there is pretty much how shallow and superficial is defined in a dictionary. And I am not shaming you here for finding overweight people unattractive, no... It's because of your superficial views...
By the way, this:
"But being above average weight was not a sign of being attractive but of being wealthy." With is logic, skinny, which implied sickliness wouldn't be attractive either.
And if you do some searching for Renaissance paintings, here is one of a woman who is about the same size as the model wearing the yellow top. And she looks bigger than most of the girls I presented, and today would be considered clinically obese.
https://arthistoryfacts.com/FloraByTitian.jpg
Jesus fucking Christ women, how is it shallow to encourage a friend to GET FIT? What next? Will telling a person who smokes to consider cutting down on it be 'entruse' and 'not minding my own business'? All right, I'm done with this thing.
For the last time I'm going to say. I have nothing against fat women. By all means be fat if you want. But don't expect me to suddenly find you hot the same way I will NEVER expect you to find me in my current state hot either. Unlike you, I'm going to put some work in my body, instead of coming up with excuse.
Have a nice day.
You have a type and that's fine - why cover your tracks with excuses like *telling* a person to get fit so they can fit your standards? I'm with @Glue-Sniffer, if you agree with this logic, then you shouldn't get so wound up if a woman told you to stop being shallow, because it's the same thing. We're not asking for you to start being attracted to something you're not. But toting the excuse that there is something wrong with us is not your place to say. I made that clear at the beginning of my myTake. Healthy does not mean skinny, and fat does not mean unhealthy. What you're admitting to is preference, so stop putting insurance on trying to run from shallowness by masking it up with concern for someone's health. That's all. Have a great day back, and thanks for reading.
*thumbs down*
I have no problem at all with bigger girls. However, you think bigger girls embrace life more than thin girls? There is no correlation between weight and how a girl embraces life.
My mom would be happier to see me with a bigger girl? My mom isn't shallow enough to judge a girl I date based on her weight or appearance.
Yep, I do think we embrace life more so than thinner women (and if you can tell by my example, it's mostly about food) so we'll have to respectfully agree to disagree. I've been exposed all too often to hearing thinner women fuss over whether or not to order dessert because they're afraid to put on a pound than anyone else does. Also, when eating I hear people refer to the saying "live a little" when they're afraid to eat something that is full of calories.
Embracing good food is not the same as embracing life. Many people pass on unhealthy foods in order to be healthy enough to embrace everything else in life.
That's fine, as I said well just disagree then. Food is a big part of life for many people, even thin people. Kitchens are the heart of the home and people gather there to cook, eat, share, at least once a day, sometimes more to live their lives. I get what you're saying though, life outside the kitchen such as embracing change or embracing new things to do, things that don't involve food. My example was about food being a big part of life.
Also, regarding a mom liking an overweight woman because they'll "take care of them and know that we’re feeding you right" and I looked at the obese girls, I thought about how many people think about being "well fed" or "obese" is healthier. I doubt my doctor agrees.
Now I love an athletic fit woman but big girl or thick whatever you wanna call it I love it Lol
I love a woman who can be herself and who can eat. I don't want anyone trying to be pretty eating some chicken fuck it up cuz I know I am but yeah I loved this mytake
TL: DR, but first of all, those 3 black women are motherfucking fine. The others are cute too.
Second, I like myself a big women for these reasons.
1. You know they can eat. Other women you might have to guess about, but you know a big girl eats
2. they'll make sure you eat. And there's nothing wrong with that.
3. They give head like the medicine in there.
5. They have big tits, and ass. Two things I love. I've met a girl who also had an hourglass figure.
4. Pussy is always juicy.
umm...
that's mostly it. LOL :D
I'm stealing #3 from you LOL
They are bubbly, they enjoy a great laugh, they like trying new food, they are very loving and nurturing.
I like this
It isn't fat shaming to be not attracted to fat. Being told you are fat shaming because you express that preference is wrong and should not be allowed.
Regardless of why you may be fat... that preference is still a preference. Just like a female who will not date a short man, height is not something he can change and it does not change who he is but women will flat out express their refusal to date a short man, even to his face. The same should apply to fat acceptance.
If a female will only date a male if he is over 6 feet, or has a great job, or has money, or dark skin, or big penis, or is fit, or is powerful, etc.
Then women can deal with our 1 criteria.
I'm probably in the minority but once I thought a girl was too short for me to date. I'm pretty tall myself. I'm 6"2 and this girl was 4"5, almost borderline midget and the height difference was awkward. I had to bend over to hug her and she had to jump up while struggling to get on the high chair and into the booth when we were at the bar. She said she was 4"11 in her dating profile but she was much shorter than that.
No one likes gluttony!! Don't matter if the media's "making fat girls look bad"... ummm NO girl. Even if you didn't have any media influence, guys are still guys. They ain't gonna be attracted to no land whale. They want a fit, nice girl with a pretty face. That's just how it is and how it always has been. Fat girls are DELUDED. Lose weight and stop trying to change the world! Hit that treadmill
And guys have this thing called personal preference. Going for slim girls may be the norm, but there are many men who have a preference for fat girls.
So for the millions of women with PCOS (stats: womenshealth.gov/.../...stic-ovary-syndrome.html), they should just magically overcome their hormone disorder to be skinny? They shouldn't bother to accept themselves for what they are or have any self confidence? Honestly, what a shallow, insufferable person.
@Ashewark You're aggravated because you know I'm right. I'm talking about the millions of people who CAN help their obesity with diet and exercise, not the minority who have legitimate issues. People are so lazy that they can't even exercise at least 3 times a week and not stuff their faces constantly. It's disgusting and you should be ashamed of yourself for promoting an unhealthy lifestyle.
Yeah, you know what? I don't give a damn about what others try to tell me should or shouldn't be attractive.
I don't find fat girls unattractive because society told me so, or because I've been "brainwashed" to think that a healthy person is more attractive. They just aren't as desirable, because on a visceral, instinctive level, my body knows that fat chicks are unappealing.
I'm not going to pretend that the "media" is overriding thousands of years of evolution and sexual programming. Fat people are the ones trying to "program" us to believe that fat is OK. But it isn't.
Stop calling fat women "big". They're FAT. Call it as it is. Being fat is unhealthy, people are not attracted to unhealthy people, deal with it. Besides, ever wonder why there's no takes about why it's okay to date fat men?
You'd rather make BS takes like these, rather than lose some weight.
I don't mind the term big, but I prefer overweight, obese, etc. Problems arise when it's used as a euphemism, which is sadly the case. Calling a spade a spade is just important sometimes to avoid miscommunication, even when it hurts.
There are no takes about why it's okay to date fat men because women already date fat men.
It is perfectly possible to be attracted to unhealthy people.
The politically correct term is big beautiful women bro /s
Actually people should lose weight for themselves not for losers like you..
They should feel secure in themselves in order to be happy also..
@SweetAndSassy14 yes they should, but at the same time, they should not complain that men do not like obese women.
@Maverickj
No they should avoid men like you like the plague...
And finds a person who loves them no matter what size they are...
*find
@SweetAndSassy14 men do not like obese women, get over it and stop whining. I am entitled to my preferences.
No offence to this post but, plenty of people date bigger women, it's not like they are a group in society who find it impossible to find men.
I personally prefer them (up to a certain size) as I actually find them physically attractive. I assumed I preferred slim women because that's the normal shape but I realized eventually that thicker women typically a UK size 14-16 actually got a physical response from me when I looked elsewhere apart from their breasts are bum whereas with slim women I only get aroused when I look at their breasts or bum.
I know this is true, me and plenty of others have had great relationships and enough men to check us out. :) It's nice to know this. I just think that there are still a lot of guys out there too chicken to cave in to what they really want for fear of what others will think. If I'm wrong, and I hope I am, then this whole thing shouldn't have been written.
The thing is ultimately it's more to do with men's attitude so you're right. I think many men would believe that other men only date a larger woman because they assume that the bigger the woman the fuller her curves which isn't strictly true. Conversely, women I hope should be open to dating larger men. I know I'd definitely date a larger woman.
Big girls are just not normal. They are not the ideal body type nor are they the most healthy. They are simply the result of overweight women wanting to be considered beautiful while not changing. There is a minority of guys who will find a big girl attractive, and that's fine. But it's just not normal, nobody thinks "that's not okay to date big girls", but most of them just don't find big girls attractive. When they do, it is definitely okay for them to date, but it's just not normal. And there's nothing wrong with that.
Actually normal is very boring.. I know this from experience.. I don't like fit guys they tend to be very bland and ughh boring.. I like chubby guys because they are comfortable to be around and actually very funny..
I'm a so called"thick/curvy girl" but I really don't believe that though.. oh and not only that but being healthy is mainly about what you eat.. not a pants or dress size...
Someone's appearance is not the same as personality. There are fun fit guys and bland fat girls, fun chubbies and boring fit guys. We're not talking about personality, only physical appearance. And being healthy is about what you eat and how much exercise you do. A fat but healthy girl is not as physically capable as a healthy fit girl.
"Someone's appearance is not the same as personality. There are fun fit guys and bland fat girls, fun chubbies and boring fit guys."
Yes but this is only from my experience... fit guys can't do it for me yeah they may be hot but I really don't find them to connect with me on a emotional level as much as chubby guys.. but hey that's me...
"We're not talking about personality, only physical appearance. And being healthy is about what you eat and how much exercise you do. A fat but healthy girl is not as physically capable as a healthy fit girl."
I'm not being on physical looks per se but I do prefer tall big guys.. they tend to intimidate any asshole who disrespects me.. and makes me feel safe... not only that but an actual healthy diet can make a person easily lose weight by do simple tasks (that can be classified as exercise) such as walking to the store, riding a bike etc. Being healthy is not about weight loss it's about feeling better, and happier..
*doing
Oh boy.
chezapocalypse.com/.../point.jpg
Really...
https://m.memegenerator.net/instance/56539184
the link is broken XD
https://m.memegenerator.net/instance/56539184
There you go..
link's still broke XDXDXD
Nope the link works.. it might be the device you're using.. lol
Nope phone and computer says it's a broken link. Lmao can't even make your own meme XDXDXD
www.multiversitycomics.com/.../watch-out-we-got-a-badass-over-here-meme.png&q=95&w=593&zc=1&a=t
The link works. Get a better phone and computer.
Nope phone and PC are fine, not my fault a 15 year old doesn't know how to link properly.
The link does work
The "ideal body type" is put out by society and if you blindly follow what it dictates to determine what your penis perks up at, you're a fool.
Also, there are tribes and indigenous peoples who prefer bigger women than smaller.
Get your facts straight.
@RationalLioness I don't blindly follow anything. It's a fact of life that fat people are not normal nor are they healthy. In the past fatness was rare and a sign of richness because nobody could afford to eat so much they gained excess weight. Furthermore the vast majority of humans are not attracted to fat people. There are chubby chasers here and there but the fact is it's not desirable because of the health problems it brings and the distorted appearance. We are biologically designed to prefer fit, healthy women.
If you accept this and just don't want to take care of yourself, well that's fine I guess. But given the simple choice, absolutely nobody would want to be fat over fit and healthy. This has become an issue because many westerners nowadays have not maintained their health and are now trying to reconcile their unhealthy lifestyle with the standards of beauty we hold.
Some of these comments are horrible. It literally makes me sick to my stomach to read them. I think a lot of people missed the entire point of this Take. I think it was very well written and I agree with most of it.
I don't think it was that well-written at all. Especially her point about big girls "embracing life" and then basically gushing about food as if people who are of a healthy weight cannot possibly enjoy eating. That's just silly.
But don't get me wrong, I am not against people who date overweight women. I kind of prefer them myself.
@Remonster I don't feel that by saying that we embrace life she was excluding anyone else from that. And I don't feel that she was shaming anyone either. But this is my opinion. You have yours.
@CHARismatic110 Well, in my own response to this I said that she paints a rather binary picture. Big girls love food and skinny girls freak out about every calorie. She was laying down her argument with black-and-white comparisons. The world isn't black-and-white.
But sure, we can agree to disagree. I don't mind.
@Remonster sure we can.
Thank you. So many rude people here. I don't know why overweight women are so hated.
As much as the "fat acceptance movement" wants to pretend otherwise, you can't shame people into being attracted to people or traits they don't find attractive. It isn't even an entirely conscious decision in the first place.
The way i see it, if someone wants to look hideous, let them. Pretty? Let them. Big? Let them. Thin? Let them. It's not your body to be saying yes or no to.
If you want to find love, you'll eventually find it. There's someone out there for anyone who wants someone. We can't MAKE people accept something just because we accepted it. Everyone was born with their own mind... try using it once in a while.
@mytaker good job explaining how u feel. It was very well written.
I always think bigger girls won't like me because i am skinny,
those girls seem really big, and i just feel like i need to become a man before handling a woman like that! lol!
i would want to be able to carry her and make her feel protected and stuff, at 6ft tall and 160lbs I don't know, if i am ready for all of that
I liked this take though :)
it wasn't bashing skinny girls just highlighting things that a bigger girl might offer
What is the goal of this myTake? I don't get it. Beauty comes in all sizes, body shapes and ages. The healthiest is being in a normal weight, even though I get how this is difficult for some people to achieve. And just like there are men who like underweight women, there also exist men who like overweight or obese women. If a man doesn't like overweight women, then you can't change his mind. If a man is very concerned about society's opinion on dating a woman, it means he doesn't love her enough. And I think you can eat, try new stuff and cook in a normal weight. I wouldn't want to 'cere' for a man, I'm not his mother. I'm a firm believer that house chores should be shared. As for what you said about sex, that big women do more stuff in order to compensate for their weight, is actually insulting.
Lol at how this assumes guys are hesitant about dating "big" girls because they don't want their friends to make fun of them. In reality, being fat/overweight is just an unattractive quality, aesthetically speaking. It doesn't look good and suggests laziness.
It's also unhealthy because it increases a bunch of health risks like heart disease and diabetes. No bueno.
somefun.net/.../Being-fat-is-unhealthy.jpg
I agree that women can have a bit of fat and still be sexy. But there is no excuse for being overweight or obese.
Because the only thing you have to do to lose weight is to consume less energy than you are spending; eat less = lose fat.
How to eat less? Eat food thats keeps you feel satisfied for longer. Foods with a low glycemic index and high in fibre.
Basically only natural stuff, nothing artificial.
You might be surprised at how happy it makes you feel when you know you control your own bodytype with mindpower.