Is online dating the worst way to start a relationship?

[mikimouse]

There are several dating sites out there right now such as match.com, eharmony, christian mingle, okcupid, tinder, and several others it seems like online dating is become more common way to start a relationship. According to pewsearch.org, as of 2013 59% of Americans stated that online dating was a good way to meet people compared to the 44% in 2005. Slowly but surely, more and more people are open to the idea of meeting people online. At the same time though, with more people having access to the internet it makes it an easy hunting ground for online predators, catfishes, and scam artists hence. With dangers like those lurking about, it is no wonder why so many people are still against the idea of online relationships. That being said, do those thinks really make online the worst place to start a relationship? Well... yes and no and here is why.

More people have access to the internet these days

As of 2015, statista.com states that over 3.17 billion people are now connected to the internet which is much higher than the 1.02 billion in 2005. More and more devices have the ability to connect to the internet these days and more public places allow users to access the internet away from home which means that people can be plugged into these websites anywhere and anytime. With nearly 45% of the world's population plugged in and that number rapidly increasing every year it is very likely that more and more people will look to the internet to meet other people.

Meeting online and dating online aren't exactly the same thing

Meeting a person online and planning to go out on a date with them in a public place is not the same as meeting someone online and never seeing them in person. If you have seen the show Catfish or watched the Dr. Phil episodes on catfishing most people that date online are dating people in far away countries, have never seen what the look like (whether it be in person or on skype), have been in these relationships for many months and even years and have yet to shake the person's hand. If the person has absolutely no intention of meeting you in person and keeping this an online thing then it is in no way a relationship. On the other hand you have two people that started talking on eharmony and met up for a lunch date one day and decided to start a relationship. Using a website with the intention of meeting people is different than using the website as the only means of dating without any physical contact.

Sleezy people don't soley exist on the internet

Internet predators definitely exist and if you are using the internet as a way to meet people keep on your toes. If you are meeting people at bars or parties you should know that there are sleezy people there as well and you must also keep on your toes. Girls can be sleezy as well guys!

Dating websites aren't the only way to meet people online

Meeting people on Facebook, Twitter, online forums, and other different types of social media are other ways to meet people online and fall under the category of using the internet to start a relationship.

Meeting online to a lot of people may be strange and may not want to be the "how we met" story at a couple's engagement party or wedding reception. Everyone has a different opinion of online relationships. For example, The Telegraph says that married couples that met online are three times more likely to divorce while Huffington post says that online dating leads to higher marriage satisfaction and lower divorce rates. Whether you prefer to meet your next significant other at a party or on match.com at least make sure you go out with them and spend some time getting to know them before you start getting serious with them.

[schnipdip]

Yeah, the real problem though is everyone gets too be picky.
Therefore, even if the girl is like a 5 or 6 out of 10 she still will only respond to guys who are 8+. She thinks she deserves the most handsome guy.

Which isn't a problem when a girl is getting 10+ messages a day from guys.

I can show you my list of sent messages it's well over 200+. I may have only received 5 replies back and maybe 100 actually visited my profile. My description is perfect, not the best, but it's still really good.

Therefore they are judging you based off your looks SOLEY AND NOTHING ELSE.

[schnipdip]

Side note: each message I send is also personalized to the person I want to talk to. No message is ever the same.

[Magdalena93]

But... you're attractive! The internet is so strange, what do those girls expect if they're turning you down? I'm a woman and even I have a hard time figuring out why women are the way they are nowadays. Sheesh...

[schnipdip]

Oh wow XD you're too nice

[mikimouse]

Yeah Magdalena93 is right you aren't an unattractive guy however I am one of those girls who get the tons and tons of messages back and it can be super overwhelming but I do my best to at least talk to you if
1) You don't look creepy
2) You don't JUST show a picture of your abs and a blank profile
3) You aren't a 50 year old man trying to hook up with me.
4) You don't start the conversation with something that indicates to me you are looking for a hookup
More often than not however it is mostly me who messages guys first

[schnipdip]

Yeah see it's the opposite for guys. The girls that I get messages from are never the girls I'm interested in. I mean the same for you, but you get them in mass quantity so it's easier to be picky.
I like making new friends and that is all I expect from anything online. So I go in with the intention of becoming friends with that person.

[HeatherJoanGaG]

I concur! You look good, there must be another reason they don't reply.

[schnipdip]

Well thank you ^.^
You're too nice

[tizz704]

I met my boyfriend online and we are very very happy. With that said though, i was using the free sites and i encountered MANY creeps. I was on and off of there for two years, in the meantime i had met a couple different guys in regular life that i dated for a short time but when it ended i always found myself being lonely or bored and logging back in to POF where i ended up meeting my current boyfriend. Believe me when i say this, i feel VERY lucky to have found my man it was like finding a diamond in the rough. :)

[Realfire22]

I'm with u on that, chica. Finding true and lasting online love is so very rare, and we have every right to be happy when we finally have the One.

[red324]

I've spent a couple years on dating sites including tinder and pof and I talked with a ton a girls, but only landed like 4 dates. Unfortunately, most seem to just be on there for an ego boost and a lot seemed to have commitment issues or insecurity issues. I finally threw in the towel on online dating after the last girl cause basically they were all the same. We would text for like 3-4 weeks and I would never be able to convince them to go on a date. I didn't wait that long to ask them on a date either. just saying. lol

[tizz704]

I think you have to keep in mind how intimidating the rejection aspect is, you dont always have the courage to meet someone in person, sometimes you are trying to feel it out and decide if its worth the risk. In my case i had met around 4 people off of the website, and they were all people who i was extremely attracted to and felt good chemistry. I probably got to know close to a hundred people via text even if it was only a few days. My boyfriend and i both laugh about how we were on there.

[Realfire22]

Ever since I was "allowed" to start dating at the age of 19, all I've ever dated were men from my fave social game (Smallworlds) . Within two years, i dated (online) 12 guys, but i never met them in person. In fact,4 of my online exs were actually girls posing as men! I thank God my siblings and i did some background checking! Two of the latter exs, i actually introduced to my family (and they didn't like them one bit), and i got engaged. Later, one started ignoring me and the other was actually in love with his high school best female friend. I dumped them. (And no, i was not engaged to both at the same time, it's just how I'm mashing the stories together) .

I was so close to giving up on meeting the love of my life any time soon. Everyone was like, "you shouldn't trust who you meet online... there are guys in your state , date them" , but the thing was/is, i knew in my heart that my future husband wasn't going to be from my state. No one else was feeling that gut instinct that i was feeling. Sure men offline asked me out for dates, but i solely wasn't interested. On Aug.29,2014 in a Christian FB group i was in, I finally met my forever boo.

We're still together this very day, and he actually came from TN (where he lives) , to fown here to SC (where i live) three months ago. Omfg, he only had up anime pics as his profile because he believes if someone just wants to talk to him without the intention of a date, then they won't be interested in what he looks like... but my instincts said he was beautiful... and lawd were my instincts right! But that was just bonus, because i had been fell in love so many months before. Anyway, my family met him and they each welcomed him into the family (my dad was bent on hating because we met online, but after he met my boo, my dad loved him). I know what my boyfriend and i have is very special and rare, so I'm cherishing every moment. We're hoping to be married in 2017 after i graduate from college. :3
Thank u for reading my long comment Lol.

[DiegoO]

I've also felt that I would have a relationship with a foreign person, years later I found the girl that shine my days. I am no way superstitious but it's strange to have feelings that becomes eventually a reality.

[Realfire22]

Yeah, ikr? Always follow that gut instinct

[mikimouse]

Aww that is so cute congrats! I am glad it worked out for you. I have been talking to a guy who is moving closer to where I go to school. I am hoping everything works out in the end

[Realfire22]

Awwe :3 Thank u <3
I hope it works out for u too

[heavensgift2girls]

That is interesting. I didn't know there were so many girls pretending to be guys, hitting on other girls online.

[Realfire22]

Yep, it definitely happened/happens. I believe what it was is that at first, they just wanted to see what it was like from a boy point of view, so they created boy accounts. And i think they got way too carried away in their "innocent fun", that it got way too out of hand. I'm sure they didn't mean to go as far as they did, though. And i know for sure two of them did it because they couldn't find online dates as themselves, so they posed as men. It happens way too often on a lot of these social sites. And i know guys do it too.

[Ozanne]

I say this.. if online dating is your only way to get out and meet someone, then sure, go for it. Once you meet that one person - don't jump in to a relationship in the first week. Do all the things you think you might do in person had you not met them online. Keep it going so that when people ask how you got together it eventually becomes a story like, "We went hiking every Saturday until I finally got her to go out with me on a date."

There is too much pressure that when you go online to meet someone, the thrill is gone from getting that surprise that they may like you. Instead its, "Hi *wink* You're really pretty, and you sound like we have a lot in common, so how about coffee?" Right there, you already know there is interest, which makes things weird. At least, they are to me.

I met a few guys through online dating and I remember each one I met I thought, "Okay then.. um.. where am I supposed to put my eyes?" or, "Is he going to ask me for a boob pic later?" We lose that level of getting-to-know someone that we naturally had when we didn't have online dating. For example, if I met someone in person, you do your mating dance together. You find out if you're right for each other as you go along. Through online dating, it was the only time in my entire life I got a message that said, "Do you mind if I sniff your panties if we do start a relationship? I have this fetish and I need to know my woman can handle that." No, going for pizza or anything - let's just get straight to the goods. My answer, "As a matter of fact, had you gone through the levels of getting to know me and respecting me, you would have learned as we became a sexual couple that yes, I would have allowed you to sniff my panties. I would have even taken them off and smushed them in your face every night. But since you made this a priority before even knowing my favourite colour or where I was born, I find you very intrusive and refuse to get to know you further. You wasted a perfectly good panty-sniffing-accepting type of woman. Way to go."

Anyway, good Take and lots of think about. My husband and I met offline and have one of those wacky stories about how we met. :) I don't want to take anything away from happy couples who did meet online, but it wasn't for me and I'm glad I won't need to be doing it again.

[darkfoxjj]

I agree that meeting through friends is the best way. But if that is your only way then you are limited also.

Isn't it a womans romantic dream to have a handsome man to randomly start a conversation with them in the real world?
I did just that a few weeks ago with a woman who was clearly attracted to me. It didn't work out because it didn't click on the second date.

You never know if you click or not until you spend time together. There is no difference if you spontaneously meet in real life or get 'filtered out' first via online dating. In fact I prefer the latter because you get to know more about her interests before talking to her.

[Bards]

I love you😂

[musical_mck7]

I think online dating is a little bit risky because you don't know for sure if the person you're talking to is the same person in the profile picture. The person you're talking to could be a 40 (or OLDER) year old man or woman while you think it's the pretty/handsome person in the profile picture that says they're around your age. Then again, I've never really had an online dating account given that I'm 16, but that's my opinion about it.
Plus, if you meet someone in real life and possibly date them, you know who you're talking to and you know what they actually look like.

[Marctheamazing]

That is so true

[mikimouse]

When you meet someone online you aren't officially dating them. You do meet these people in person and go out on dates with them. You either always Skype if its a long distance thing or you meet up in person. I am not against it I think its like going to a party and having a larger variety of people to choose from. Some people would rather meet someone in person but you never really know that persons motives either. They maybe just trying to hook up you won't know until it happens

[Kalibie]

Great article! I met my boo on okc and I couldn't be happier.
I have to say using okc properly is one of the best way to meet because the info you enter on your profile really gets all the deal breakers out of the way before you even start!

I don't date religious people, smokers, or people who wouldn't want pets for example, stuff that would have took a lot more time and effort if I had to try and figure out if I met them another way.

I really think online dating is no different from any other type of dating. You meet, you click, , go on dates, abd hopefully you stay together.

Regardless how you meet, it doesn't effect how true your relationship is.

To all types of beginnings!

[Remonster]

Boo? Boyfriend?

[Kalibie]

Boo means lover, it's from the term beau, it's just what I call him when talking to others. :)

[Kalibie]

@Remonster

[Derpyy]

It felt so nice to finally see someone say that not all sleazy people are on the internet. I've known people who met someone in person and by the 4th date, they started to let it show that they were a total creep. You never truly know what someone is like, regardless if you first met them at a cafe or behind a monitor.

I met my boyfriend off of a OK cupid 11 months ago and I couldn't be happier. It just depends on whether or not you keep your standards realistic. If you judge everyone else as subpar, chances are, you're not so great yourself... >_>

[Onyx277]

My half sister met her husband on match. com and they have now been married for a few years with 2 children. Because of this, I plan to try dating sites next year since I have had no luck in real life meeting decent people.. I think it's a good way to get an idea of what you are getting before you go on a date, instead of finding everything out afterwards.

[VonHoffer]

I don't think so. Brad Cohen has Tourette's Syndrome, tried online dating and found a beautiful woman on the Internet. It was his first love and she didn't mind his Tourette's. They are married to each other and living a very happy life together.

This is my first time on an online dating site and so far, I have found some really good Christian girls and women on here. I need a Christian woman in my life who I want to be married to. Jesus is the most important person in my life and I love Him with all my heart, soul and strength because "He is my Rock, my Fortress, my Deliverer, my God in Whom I trust. My Shield, my Stronghold. I will call upon The Lord who is Worthy to be praised, so shall I be saved from my enemies."

[Sriabdhini17]

well, i think online dating is working for some people.

[Fugue]

What I have observed to contribute to the most dismay over online dating is the cognitive dissonance of expectations. Many people are not aware that they are choosing dates superficially, due to the nature of online dating services, then they are surprised and disappointed when they are incompatible with their dates.

When people meet in person, they tend to consider other attributes at the very least in parallel to looks.

But realistically, this applies the most to women. Men don't have the same standards, so there are more men available to women in online dating.

The end result of all this is that women tend to complain about the quality of dates, while men tend to complain about the availability of dates.

[Anonymous]

Not at all; modern technology makes it possible to sustain a happy and healthy online relationship with lots of love and communication. My first relationship began when I clicked with another user here on GAG... two years later we're still happily together. Sure, the distance is tough, we've only met in person three times, and we have to put in more work than most couples to keep the spark alive, but we've both found the person we want to spend our lives with. That's a pretty special thing no matter how and where you meet the person.

[Datall]

I say that there is nothing wrong with online dating. Gone are the days of "Only creeps, Weirdos and rapist date online." I have no problems meeting people offline as well as online. In my experience you can meet odd people or scumbags either way. Finding the right person is tough and having an additional avenue for meeting helps. I have had successful relationships and even marriage from being online. As a professional myself, some people do not have to time to hang out all the time. I do attend professional venues but this is not always the right situation. Meeting someone at work, well, not a good idea. I have dated someone from work and we are still friends but it is not a typically a good idea. I also don;t frequent the bar scene. I think online offers each person the opportunity to see the person, read about the person and chat if there is a mutual interest. It can be a positive experience if used the right way.

[Anonymous]

I don't know if it's the worst way but online dating is becoming the norm with how busy everyone is and it does give more opportunities.

I've been using online dating for a few years and my issue is I have yet to find a relationship off there. I think there's way more competition than in real life. If a girl is decent looking, she'll most likely get at least 10 messages a day and you really have to stand out from the rest to get a message back.

But from my experience, I've had countless amount of first dates and we'd have an amazing first date and then afterwards I'd never hear back from them or they'd slowly disappear by not giving much effort. It can be very frustrating because when you don't get an explanation it's like you don't know if it's personal or if they just found someone they clicked with more.

[ghostfaceee]

I didn't go on any kind of dating site when I first started talking to my boyfriend, I kind of just went back to the same, lame "goth/alternative" site I'd been on years before. I wasn't going on there looking for a relationship but after months of talking we just kind of decided that we wanted to be exclusive. And the beginning of this month I stayed with him and honestly, it was great.

[awesome_possum]

Eh, I was starting to get turned off to online dating until I started talking to a guy in February when I was away at college that I took a liking to. He's actually the only guy I've met in person so far, and we've been dating for a month now and I couldn't be happier. Online dating is perfect for people like me: introverted and painfully quiet types. It takes a while for me to warm up to someone, and it's a great way to break the ice.

[FlutteringFeelings]

I mean , there are a lot of wrongs in that. Because it the person themselves who has an inner personal issue with doing things face to face. Like if I am nervous , and I mainly gave up on attempting to do things face to face I would try online. If I was to face a real life situation regarding a person of interest I would fail at doing so because instead of me over coming my fears and weaknesses , I am not going out and speaking verbally

[BraidsGirl]

I think you have a better chance finding a genuine person face-to-face. I'm not saying it's impossible to find someone online, it's just that many of these people online may have bad intentions that aren't easy to pick up on through a online messaging.

[Anonymous]

I'm actually in an online relationship, being in one since 7 months with the love of my life. though we haven't met yet, we do have plans too. we Skype every day from the first day we met, just about. yeah, its frustrating not being able to feel him and kiss him... but opening yourself to online dating can up your chances of meeting the one for you.

[ConfusedShyGirl]

My brother met he's girlfriend on online xbox lol they got close and he lived in Ireland and she lived in scotland and they began to get close and he went to see her in scotland and they have been going out 3 years :)

[MissBex95]

i don't think it necessarily is. i mean we live in a very fast-paced world now and we all have to try and keep up with the times but it depends on the kind of person since some people are just better with real-life face to face interaction

[Anonymous]

I've just closed my accounts in a dating website. There is something lacking in communication that can make people misinterpret words or emotions in the early stages- before meeting face to face. I came across a guy who I liked and he liked me too apparently, and he wanted to talk and chat kind of non-stop, so I had to go and do something from time to time. The lasrt time this happened he didn't contact me the next day, so I think he thought I was playing games or so.

[Phoenix98]

That would depend on the people involved to be honest, though if you're going to be online dating or any dating to be honest. I wouldn't advise going to a dating website for any relationship it just feels to forced and fake there.

[Sriabdhini17]

ah yes

[Phoenix98]

@Sriabdhini17 mhmm.