Why does dating have to be a game?

[Anonymous]

In today's day and age dating has become a relentless game of cat and mouse, heartache and pointless flings. People try to evaluate the person too quickly instead of actually getting to know them as a whole. It has really become like the actual dating game, you pick from a few people get to know one or too things about them and bam! You're in the relationship and just as fast as it started it ends and you're prowling the streets for the next "contestant".

Why does dating have to be so usless and yet so complicated now a days?

Recently I have been seeing a lot of my takes about, "the rules of dating" or "guidelines for a first date" but why are there rules in the first place? Isn't dating supose to be fun? Why can't people get to know eachother on their own terms and not what other people think it should be.

For example the typical first date is Dinner and/or a movie, which ends with the guy paying for some reason and a possible second date if you're lucky.

I see two things wrong with this, one why do people automatically assume the guy should pay? and why do guys assume us women want them to pay, i know i certanly do not and would not let the guy pay for me. and two why does the first date have to follow specific guidlines, why not just hang out, go to the park, somthing free yet enjoyable. The point of a first date is to get to know the person, and that's pretty hard to do during a movie in my opinon.

Another point I've seen people make is about how it is so hard to find someone now a days.

I'd have to agree with this, and it's not because there are not good people out there but more because people are lazy like i stated before. No one wants to take time anymore you either sleep with the person or find "the one" within a few dates and if not they're on to the next person. I understand sometimes you just don't have the connection with someone, or you're not looking for anything long term and there's nothing wrong with that. But when you find someone who you have a good connection with, don't rush anything. Don't try to get married on the second date or sleep with them on the first some of this takes lots of time, in the end it's worth it.

I just don't understand some peoples mind sets anymore some people hop from person to person, others do it to look desierable or cool. But really you're just waisting the amazing free time you have when you're single! Don't just jump into dating someone because they want to or any other selfish reason do it because you're generally interested in taking the time to get to know that specific person. Also don't go around thinking you're to good for anyone.

Just enjoy dating, without all the rules and without leading people on. a date is a date nothimg more relax and just be yourself.

(Sorry not very good at myTakes)

[RamyDarwishEG]

Just related to the *hard to fins someone part*

For me the problem lies specifically on finding women , but if i do i won't just go to movies in a first date or pay or any of those , i'm opposed to these ideas i would just go to a public place , like a coffee shop or something and have some hot drinks with some talks , thats it

But before all of that , i need to find her first , before when i was young i thought ( wow , no woman i see is single , they get married fast )

But when i searched and asked and read about the % of single people and the amount of men and women on the planet and even some for my region , i clearly knew the women were hiding or something i do not understand is going on...

Well and about the dating game & rules , can not comment on that yet...

[myTake Owner]

Yeah I get that there are very few single people and those that are.. just art "suitable" I guess or you know I'm not interested I them.

[Bards]

Great take!

[myTake Owner]

Thank you.

[genuinlysensitive]

Yea the fact that so many people have turned it into a game, is probably the biggest reason dating is so hard. As for the guy always payung this is because many women like to see how many free meals they can con men out of, but of course few will actually admit it. Rather they just say they need the man to pay so they feel more "feminine." Its not even universal, in much of Europe for instamce going Dutch is quite common.

I actually thought this was an excellent my take. You are better at this than you think.

[myTake Owner]

Yes, we molded it into what it is now when it should just be fun. As for what you said about women wanting to be more feminine or con man out of meals i can see that yes though not all women do, I for one am not one of them.
Also thank you, it was actually my first my take

[genuinlysensitive]

I know not all women do. But it is so prevelant I stopped asking girls out on meal dates.

[myTake Owner]

And that's actually really sad you have to do that, I never understood it in the first place.

[genuinlysensitive]

The world needs more women like you!

[ccp16]

hmm I think rules or tips do work in dating. I have learned to be a bit sly with how much I like a girl until later in dating, letting them know too early gives them the power of knowing they have me and possibly seeing other options.

Related to that, I think the thing with dating is we have too many options... You can scan through hundreds of profiles in a night and be conversing with loads of people all at once via email or text, and nobody is the wiser. also, you don't have to be in a relationship to have sex anymore, so the spectrum of what people are looking to get out of dating is much wider than 'you either date or you don't' which is fine, people should be able to get what they want out of dating, on any level.

I think you just have a very traditional view of dating, which is fine, but as I said, not that there are more option between either dating or don't that people are forced into, I can understand how it seems harder to find someone.

[myTake Owner]

You know you are right i did focus more on the traditional side of dating. People should be able to get what they want but with someone who wants the same thing. I find it unfair to play someone just to get sex, or money or whatever it is you want. But if the same outcome of the 'relationship' or date is eventually wanted by both people then hey go for it.
I just also think if you wanna get someone you'd actually enjoy being with you should be yourself and not go off by what other people say work, because different things attract different people. But if what you're doing is working for you and you like it then, hey good for you!

[Anonymous]

thats why i dont play that "game". it all boils down to pride, narcissism, manipulation, and satisfaction of lower insincts... .

[myTake Owner]

You are exactly right, one reason I have chosen to focus on more important things than dating as of now.

[Maverickj]

Great take, dating should be less complicated.

All these rules are especially difficult for guys, as we are expected to pay for everything and take the initiative for everything.

[myTake Owner]

Yeah, it's sad that people expect that much for the guys! Girls need to take some initiative too and ask guys on dates pay etc.. it should be an equal effort between both parties

[Phoenix98]

It's never a game for me it is something I take quite seriously.

[myTake Owner]

Well yes not all people do when I wrote this I was speaking about what I generally see around me, but obviously it dose not apply to all

[Phoenix98]

Yeah, a lot of folks I live with (in my town) don't find it a game either, I'm sure it changes from place to place though.

[myTake Owner]

That is most definitely true.

[Phoenix98]

Mhmm.