I haven't received enough flak this week, so I think I'll dabble into some taboo territory. You can find articles all over the internet on virtually every dating website on "Why you should date single mothers" or "Why single mothers are awesome" or "Why single mothers will rock your world", but I call bullshit on every single one of them. Why? I thought you'd never ask.
Let's start with priorities. Whenever I enter a relationship, I make my lover or significant other the top priority in my life. This is a person I'm considering sharing the rest of my life with, my family with, and possibly starting a new family with. I have to act like they're going to be part of the family. Well, virtually every single mom writes this on her dating profile: "My kinds will always be the top priority in my life and that will never change." Well, right off the bat, I'm getting a raw deal. So do I get to make her not my top priority in my life as well? So that's totally cool if I make her lower on the list than tennis, or golf, or football, or video games? My dog? My cats?
Now don't get me wrong, I understand the dilemma single mothers have to face. They have kids to feed, take care of, and raise. That takes time, lots of it. Add a job on top of that and there aren't enough hours in the day. The problem is, men who date single mothers get absolutely no credit for the turmoils they go through. I'm already rearranging my entire schedule to fit yours so that we can spend time together. Your free time is extremely limited, so I've rejumbled all of my arrangements and other engagements so that your free time and mine coincide.
That is one humongous pain and requires a fair amount of sacrifice. What acknowledgment do I get for that? "DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO BE A SINGLE MOTHER DATE?! SINGLE MOMS ARE SO STRONG YOU SHOULD APPRECIATE HOW STRONG A WOMAN YOU'RE GETTING!" Riiiiiiiiiiiiight. It's not like a man who does all of this for a single mom is strong or anything. Fuck that guy. He clearly doesn't know how lucky he is.
So already I'm a creditless, low priority, chump who sees his girlfriend just enough to still count as being in a relationship. What's next?
Well, dating single mothers isn't cheap. They don't have a ton of cash to spend, so the guy usually ends up paying for everything. So much for the modern day, where men and women split the check. And again, zero credit. Chivalry isn't dead, but it's definitely on its last breath because chivalry used to at least come with the satisifcation of recognition. Now it's just something that's either expected or ridicouled, neither of which come with any respect. "SINGLE MOMS WORK SO HARD FOR THEIR MONEY YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!" Right, I didn't work at all for my money. It just fell out of the sky onto my straight, male lap. Surely more would have fallen if I was also white.
Let's talk baby daddy drama. Every single mother has a baby daddy out there somewhere unless he up and died somewhere along the way. Even if he left out of the blue without a letter, there's ALWAYS a chance baby daddy will come back, and he most likely will not welcome your presence. I'm sorry, it's not my fault that it didn't work out between you two and you went your separate ways, but I still have to deal with the mess. That's taking time away from our already precious little time together, or making part of said time together way less enjoyable that it ought to be. That's just not how any person, man or woman, wants a relationship to be.
Lastly, many single mothers have no interest in having more kids. Understandable, they've already got their hands full with the kids already present, but this presents a problem for me. I want my own kids. MY kids. I want to start a family. If a woman can't or won't provide that, then I'll jump ship every time, constant as gravity. I have the right to have children and a family of my own just as much as she does. And I won't leave my baby mama single with a kid in tow.
Add that all up, and you've got a recipe for unhappiness. Sure, sometimes it works out and sometimes it's great, but let's calculate the odds on that one. I'm not a gambler, and I want my relationships to have every possible chance of success, and single mothers just don't seem to be a safe bet. The margins for error are just too slim. The odds of success too low, and the risk associated with the undertaking too high. Doesn't seem like smart math to me.