I'm not wise...... I've just had my fair share of epic fails. This is the advice that we all need at some point in time, but are afraid to give or receive.
1. For those who struggle with being clingy.
Trust me, I know clingy. I'm a wet rag, then I dated one even more soaking wet than I was. It was awful. However I've learned something through my trials and errors. The right person appreciates your level of affection, understands it, needs it, and would get confused if you tried to change your ways on them.
If you're being too clingy, and your partner is complaining about it.. it might be time to consider if you're really right for each other.
2. To those controlling freaks out there.
I would say, about 90% of the control issue in your life comes from your insecurities. I would say that 100% of your jealousy comes from the same place. If you feel the need to micro manage their life, it's because you're worried what will happen to them when they get away from you to think. You're afraid that they're going to go out there and find someone else better for them than you are.
3. Oh my god, is it too soon to say the L- word?!
No. It's not. The only time it's too early to say the L-Word is when you're not sure you mean it. If you mean it, say it.. and if they get scared away by it, they didn't deserve it.
4. I think he's cheating on me.
Okay, first of all, if you've got enough of a gut instinct that you're talking to your friends about it, he probably is.. because honestly, we all deny it until it basically punches in the face. So break up with him.. he's cheating, leave him.
Secondly, if you're afraid he's cheating, and he's not.. you should probably leave him anyway because you obviously have no faith in him, you don't trust him, and that's just not a healthy relationship.. For more advice on this topic, reread number 2. You have security issues.
5. Is it too soon to have sex?
My advice, if you can't say the words, "cum," "orgasm," "condom," or direct them to what body part and action would best please you, you're not comfortable enough with them to have sex. In my firm opinion, if you can't say the vocabulary without freaking out, and if you're not ready to talk about how you would handle an STD or unplanned pregnancy with this person, it's too soon. You both should be ready and prepared for a worst case scenario. Think you're ready?
Try this first: Get naked in front of them and say, "I would like to provide you with an orgasm that will cause you to cum all over the place, and if I "get pregnant" or "get an STD" we'll be able to handle it through *insert plan you two have devised here.* When you can say that without freaking out and getting all red in the face, laughing is completely acceptable, as long as they laugh with you... you're ready.. pull out your protection and go for it!
6. I want them back, how do I do it?!
Okay, if you dumped them, you're an idiot who doesn't deserve them.. and if you dumped them for cheating/being controlling/being jealous/ you're an idiot who is a glutton for punishment. I will not help you start this train wreck all over again.
If they dumped you, they obviously don't care about you as much as you want them too, and who wants to go on with life chasing someone who doesn't love them.. (I've been there, done that, and had the hangovers to prove it.. it's not fun..) It'll take time to move on, but walk away. Leave with your pride, chasing them around forever will only make you feel worse about yourself.
Do not, under any circumstances break them up. That is unfair, and karma will only kick you in the face for it later. Be their friend and trust that if it's meant to happen, it'll eventually happen. End of conversation.
8. How do I get over somebody?
Chocolate, bubble baths, burning of their personal items.. and most importantly TIME. During this said time, you should find a hobby, flirt with people you think and know are way out of your league, and do all the things that you love that pissed them off... The happier you are alone, the more people will be drawn to you. Misery loves company, but happiness is the breeding ground for love.
9. I cheated on my significant other, but I still love them, what do I do?!
First of all, they're going to find out, so don't even bother hiding it from them... Secondly, you leave them. You leave them, because they deserve someone who loves them so much that their body cannot even fathom the idea of getting that close to someone else's... There is no "oops" allowance out there. If you really love them, leave them for someone who will be better for them.
10. I'm still screwing around with my ex, is that okay?
I mean, I'm over them and everything..: LIAR. Stop right now, or I will punch you. I too am guilty of this crime and I can honestly say that every time I did it, it made them harder and harder to get over...
Stop screwing around with your ex, at least go out to a bar and find a stranger... I mean honestly, break ups are hard enough.. don't let yourself get stuck in that cycle of jealousy that is the friends with benefits with your ex ordeal... IT NEVER WORKS
I know some of this was hard to hear/read, but honestly, it's what we all need to hear sometimes.. so do yourself a favor, recommend this article to a friend the next time he or she calls you at midnight for advice.. it might just save you an hour or two of sleep.
1. For those who struggle with being clingy.
Trust me, I know clingy. I'm a wet rag, then I dated one even more soaking wet than I was. It was awful. However I've learned something through my trials and errors. The right person appreciates your level of affection, understands it, needs it, and would get confused if you tried to change your ways on them.
If you're being too clingy, and your partner is complaining about it.. it might be time to consider if you're really right for each other.
2. To those controlling freaks out there.
I would say, about 90% of the control issue in your life comes from your insecurities. I would say that 100% of your jealousy comes from the same place. If you feel the need to micro manage their life, it's because you're worried what will happen to them when they get away from you to think. You're afraid that they're going to go out there and find someone else better for them than you are.
"Realize that you're the one they want.. I mean, they are dating you after all."The solution to this, realize that you're the one they want.. I mean, they are dating you after all. Once you realize that they are with you for a reason, a specific one, you'll start feeling more secure in the relationship, and BAM the need to control them will slowly melt away.
3. Oh my god, is it too soon to say the L- word?!
No. It's not. The only time it's too early to say the L-Word is when you're not sure you mean it. If you mean it, say it.. and if they get scared away by it, they didn't deserve it.
4. I think he's cheating on me.
Okay, first of all, if you've got enough of a gut instinct that you're talking to your friends about it, he probably is.. because honestly, we all deny it until it basically punches in the face. So break up with him.. he's cheating, leave him.
Secondly, if you're afraid he's cheating, and he's not.. you should probably leave him anyway because you obviously have no faith in him, you don't trust him, and that's just not a healthy relationship.. For more advice on this topic, reread number 2. You have security issues.
5. Is it too soon to have sex?
My advice, if you can't say the words, "cum," "orgasm," "condom," or direct them to what body part and action would best please you, you're not comfortable enough with them to have sex. In my firm opinion, if you can't say the vocabulary without freaking out, and if you're not ready to talk about how you would handle an STD or unplanned pregnancy with this person, it's too soon. You both should be ready and prepared for a worst case scenario. Think you're ready?
Try this first: Get naked in front of them and say, "I would like to provide you with an orgasm that will cause you to cum all over the place, and if I "get pregnant" or "get an STD" we'll be able to handle it through *insert plan you two have devised here.* When you can say that without freaking out and getting all red in the face, laughing is completely acceptable, as long as they laugh with you... you're ready.. pull out your protection and go for it!
6. I want them back, how do I do it?!
Okay, if you dumped them, you're an idiot who doesn't deserve them.. and if you dumped them for cheating/being controlling/being jealous/ you're an idiot who is a glutton for punishment. I will not help you start this train wreck all over again.
If they dumped you, they obviously don't care about you as much as you want them too, and who wants to go on with life chasing someone who doesn't love them.. (I've been there, done that, and had the hangovers to prove it.. it's not fun..) It'll take time to move on, but walk away. Leave with your pride, chasing them around forever will only make you feel worse about yourself.
"There is no "oops" allowance out there!"7. I like them, a lot, but they are with someone else.
Do not, under any circumstances break them up. That is unfair, and karma will only kick you in the face for it later. Be their friend and trust that if it's meant to happen, it'll eventually happen. End of conversation.
8. How do I get over somebody?
Chocolate, bubble baths, burning of their personal items.. and most importantly TIME. During this said time, you should find a hobby, flirt with people you think and know are way out of your league, and do all the things that you love that pissed them off... The happier you are alone, the more people will be drawn to you. Misery loves company, but happiness is the breeding ground for love.
9. I cheated on my significant other, but I still love them, what do I do?!
First of all, they're going to find out, so don't even bother hiding it from them... Secondly, you leave them. You leave them, because they deserve someone who loves them so much that their body cannot even fathom the idea of getting that close to someone else's... There is no "oops" allowance out there. If you really love them, leave them for someone who will be better for them.
10. I'm still screwing around with my ex, is that okay?
I mean, I'm over them and everything..: LIAR. Stop right now, or I will punch you. I too am guilty of this crime and I can honestly say that every time I did it, it made them harder and harder to get over...
Stop screwing around with your ex, at least go out to a bar and find a stranger... I mean honestly, break ups are hard enough.. don't let yourself get stuck in that cycle of jealousy that is the friends with benefits with your ex ordeal... IT NEVER WORKS
I know some of this was hard to hear/read, but honestly, it's what we all need to hear sometimes.. so do yourself a favor, recommend this article to a friend the next time he or she calls you at midnight for advice.. it might just save you an hour or two of sleep.
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