Honestly, I feel that I'd be more comfortable if I was ugly, at least I'd know why no girl has ever liked me. I'm considered a 7 or an 8, am seen as funny and witty, am considered a brilliant artist and yet, every time, always rejected. After a while you get paranoid, begin asking yourself things, am I ugly and everyone lies to me, does everyone secretly hate me and are manipulating me for shits and giggles, is it because I'm black, because of my depression, my personality. And then it starts grating on your sanity too, because you know everyone is just lying to spare your feelings, you don't know why you're rejected so you'll always be rejected and no one will tell you the real reason. As your depression begins gripping your mind it fuels your paranoia and obsession with rejection to the point that you begin to isolate yourself took you sever your relationships with your friends as you sink deeper and deeper into despair, you don't even talk to women anymore because they just fucking despise you, and you look in the mirror and feel nothing but total hatred and disgust, as you see your reflection and merely see an empty shell of who you once were. And, the worst part? You've gotten so good at hiding these feelings no one else knows how you really feel, so people smile and wave at you as you slowly die inside, in an ocean of paranoia, sorrow, self-pity, and loathing for the rest of mankind.
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I know that feeling, but not from rejection. Well, not romantic rejection. It's just everyone left.
Nice take. I can relate to a lot of what you're saying