Long Distance Relationship Doesn't Have to Mean Hard

Long Distance Doesn't Have to Mean Hard

It's undeniable, when it comes to long distance dating there's a massive stigma attached.

"Wow that must be really hard"

"I don't think I could do that"

"Yeah well it probably won't work out"

I can't tell you how often I've heard these phrases, accompanied by a look of pity. Yes, LDRs can be challenging. But they are no harder than any other relationship. Let me break it down for you.

Challenges Are Important, Not Impossible

True love doesn't just survive in difficult situations, it flourishes. So whether you live 2 minutes or 2000 miles away from your significant other, your love for the other person should only continue to grow, especially as you overcome hardships together.

If a couple never has to face a challenge together, it's unlikely that they will handle the first big hurdle they encounter very well. Through occassional difficulties, you begin to realize whether or not the person you're dating in in for the long haul, what kind of a person they really are, and if you can see yourself being with them for more than just a couple months.

Dating long distance forces couples to engage in a substantially greater amount of communication, as physically seeing each other to work out issues may not be possible all the time. You learn more about each other because you can't spend the silences kissing or cuddling. You build trust. In fact, I think any relationship could stand to be long distance at some point because trusting someone blindly like that takes a lot of courage on both ends, and it truly helps a relationship grow.

But It's All About Attitude

Even though you aren't physically near your partner your love for each other shouldn't diminish. If it does, you either want something (or someone) else in place of having them in your life, or you don't think you can handle the physical separation, which is personally not my idea of true love.

This is where positivity comes in. Let's say you've decided to take the next step and pursue a long distance relationship. You're both committed, so now what? Think of it as a new adventure that you can set out on together. You get the privilege of missing them, only to have your next reunion be that much sweeter. You get to be surpised by little gifts or letters in the mail and you have a constant source of support and love just a call or text away. You can live your own life and have your own friends without getting wrapped up completely in your significant other (which is very easy to do when you can see them whenever you want). Yet they you will always be a top priority for each other.

But you don't have to have some "grand plan" laid out about where you'll be in a couple years and if you'll get married and what not. Unless you want to of course! All it takes though is knowing that you love each other unconditionally, plus a shared positive attitude, to just sit back and enjoy the ride.

So Why The Doubt?

Some people still say these relationships are "harder" than others. People that say this may get caught up in the physical distance. But what I don't think they realize is that LDRs don't have to be a big deal.

For example, my boyfriend and I go to school 700 miles apart. We message sporadically throughout the day, but spend 1-4 hours skyping at night, depending on our schedules. We don't fight, we discuss. We deal with disagreements maturely, and move on once they've been delt with. We say whatever is on our minds and are completely open with how we're feeling. We talk about anything and everything under (and beyond) the sun. We compliment each other often, and keep track of details in each other's lives. We respect and trust each other immensely. I'm just as happy now as I was when we could see each other on a consistent basis. In fact, we function pretty much exactly how we do in person, minus the obvious physical barriers. I didn't think it was possible, but I love him more every day.

Put in perspective, as long as you are emotionally close, physical distance can be a pretty silly thing to worry about.

So if you're in a long distance relationship, or will be in the future, embrace it! What a wonderful opportunity for you to grow closer as the distance between you grows larger. Believe me, you'll appreciate what you have every single day. Remember, "long distance relationships" aren't really a thing. They're normal relationships, just continually strengthened by the physical space between the couple. If you find the right person, anything in the world is possible because you have them not by your side, but in your heart.

Distance is not for the fearful, it is for the bold. It's for those who are willing to spend a lot of time alone in exchange for a little time with the one they love. It's for those knowing a good thing when they see it, even if they don't see it nearly enough...

Read more long distance relationship quotes.

Thank you for reading! :)

P.S. For reference, I've known my boyfriend for over two years and we went on our first date almost a year ago, so perspectives may differ for those who have been in relationships for a longer/shorter amount of time.


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What Guys Said 12

  • I don't really agree that they aren't harder because it is harder, can't understand how you can't deny that. But I agree that it is possible.

    • yes of course she can't deny that

      It would be amazing if I could just touch my boyfriend. a hug. A kiss.

  • I can honestly say from experience that they are indeed hard but they aren't quite as hard as everyone makes them out to be.

  • I think it's 1000 times harder to maintain that affectionate feeling when it's long distance. Like when people live closer they can provide physical or financial assistance and truly be there for someone they care about. If you really want to hang out with them you can just be like "hey want to hang out?" and make it happen. With long distance you might have to plan a flight or clear an entire weekend and people don't always have those opportunities. When something is long distance you have to do whatever you can to talk because it's the only method we have. It definitely makes things a lot harder.

    Of course it's important for both people to remember how they felt when they first met. It's easy and understandable to get caught up in our own lives because they are totally separate when it's long distance. I think people should only get into LDRs if they are really damn serious about it because it's not a walk in the park. Early on people really have to set short term goals to seeing the other person or moving after hanging out. I think this shit is most important because things can get stale if two people can't express themselves physically with each other. After a while it can start to feel like two good friends on the phone or on Skype or whatever.

  • LDR never work. I am living ad breathing proof of it.

    2 relationships of mine were LDR and both ended sourly.

    LDR will last until the honeymoon period is over, i. e 4 to 6 months. When this period is over, cracks will begin to show and soon the distance between each party will become exceptionally apparent.

    Furthermore, in LDR at least one party will get bored quicker than the other. In both my cases it was me. I hated being away from them, hated the lack of intimacy (I cheated) and I hated spending the money.

    If you want a LDR to work, you HAVE to move closer to them or have them move closer to you.

  • Long distance is harder. No amount of downplaying it will change it.

    Yes, it is possible - but at one point you need the closeness of each other.

  • Unless we both plan to live in the same area within the next few months, I don't do long-distance relationships. Ever. There are plenty of single women in my local area; why would I waste my time on someone who doesn't live near me? People who have plenty of options (like me) don't do long-distance relationships because they don't have to.

    • i know a guy who is in a long distance relationshp for the past 2 years... yet he pursues me and wants to have sex with me (we didn't have it), invites me to his place, talks about what turns me on...
      i perfectly understand what you're saying..

  • No relationship "has to be hard", its just that people are fucking melodramatic.

  • I had two, one on Twitter and one on kik

  • Very good take, it's all a matter if both people are strong enough to fight for what they believe in.

  • being in long distance is harder but when you spend that time with the person you love you appreciate it a hell of a lot more because you know that you can't be with them as much

  • Long distance relationships never work. In my experience

    • How many experiences... Never is a pretty big accusation

    • @schnipdip Not too many; just three. I mean short term long distance sure. But like 6-month or longer and it just never works out.

  • long distance isn't as fulfilling...


What Girls Said 10

  • Thanks for sharing. Great read. :)

  • I feel like it can only work if there's an end in site as in at the end of a year, you two will figure things out and be together. I feel like long distance doesn't work because there's no end in site

  • I like this poll

  • It is hard but it is NOT impossible.

    in my opinion, LDR is about being with that one special person and not about other available people or options nearby.

    It also brings you closer cos you can't see each other as much so you communicate and talk more, which helps strengthen the connection (emotional bond) with each other.

    You also don't take things and each other for granted. And each time you meet up is simply more special and you treasure every single moment together :)

    Speaking from personal experience :)

  • It is still pretty difficult.

  • Awesome MyTake.

    My boyfriend and I started a relationship a week before I went off to college, 3 1/2 hours away, and we're still together a year later.

    Distance is a test. And I do think it's harder than the average relationship, so I don't look down on people who couldn't make it work. That being said, long distance relationships have sweet rewards.

    My boyfriend and I cherish every second we have with each other. Every moment is a precious memory because there are only so many weekends that we can spend together while balancing work and exams. I'm so happy I started off the relationship with him the way it happened. It showed that we really liked each other, and he was in it for the long haul. We both could have tried to date someone much closer. But we decided to stick it out.

    And when he first came to see me in the first few months, I would get so excited, clean like a maniac, have meals planned out, have outfits planned out, and it was so much fun. I was getting to know him for who he was 90% of the time away from me. We couldn't be blinded by kisses and hugs, we had to be compatible.

    Wow, I'm going down memory lane and making this answer really long.

    To end my comments, great MyTake :) and though I don't think everyone can handle a long distance relationship, they can be really special, and I love the one I'm in.

  • I've been doing a long distance relationship with my boyfriend for 7 years, and we're still in love like crazy.

  • I agree and I think it depends on the people as well. My boyfriend and I both like doing our own thing and our alone time so it works out ok for us of course I would want to be closer but you can't always help who you fall for lol

  • I've been in a long distance relationship for quite sometime. We've both done things that haven't been good and broken the trust , but we still love each other very much and keep this going because we realize that even though we may be apart now being together will be worth everything.

  • I agree with all that you have said here. Especially because when people hear about LDR they do seem not to understand because they get caught up in the physical separation part.

    and it is an opportunity to build an amazing bond that you might otherwise not be able to establish as easily with someone you have more nearby.

    However, I can't deny the fact that, after I have fallen seriously in love with my boyfriend, that it isn't difficult sometimes to wish to show him my love also in a physical form: a kiss, a hug. Simple things like that.

    But I don't regret it. Long distance is not for all, but it has been nothing other than wonderful for the better part of it, because of the person I have by my side. yeah it does feel like he is close in many ways (close to my heart).

    • i've met various guys who were in long distance relationships and pursued me...
      i would not trust anyone but yourself...

    • Show All
    • Pls girls don't fight



      I'm sure we all here had good intentions, but we are getting a bit carried away now.

      I appreciate both of your inputs and there are no hard feelings on my side.

      Hope you don't let a misunderstanding turn into something bigger than what it has to be.

    • @labellaprincesa No I don't have any issues with this topic because I'm aware of the dark realities some people's situations consist of. It truly gave the impression of wanting to share some sort of negativity due to what you've encountered. Regardless, the opinion owner is asking us to stop since we've recognized this as a simple misunderstanding. I have no harsh feelings either, take care.