Getting the actual type of guy you want to approach you

Getting the actual type of guy you want to approach you.

So I've noticed a trend lately about girls being approached but still having zero luck in actually getting a relationship. Some say they attract virtually every type of guy except the type they actually want to be with. Someone may wonder why this is so. So obviously this take is for girls who experience this, others may not apply. If you are the type of girl that will do the approaching you'd just be wasting your time since you don't need to worry. Girls ask, "Why are guys that they get along with so well with me too shy to actually approach me in a romantic sense when guys who are huge jerks have no problem approaching me? Yes those traits that those men have and them approaching or not are related.

Jerks seem to have no problem approaching. (Yes there are the ones that are jerks and just whine about being a good person but don't ever want to do any of the effort of having a relationship). But you may wonder why the jerks are approaching in droves while the guys you like are no where to be found during dating prime time. Jerks have an easy time approaching because they are just that, jerks. They don't care about your opinion or who you are as a person and only care about the way you look and what you can fork over to them sexually. So they aren't really afraid of being rejected because they really never cared about what you thought so why would they feel bad about anything.

Actual decent dudes that value you as a person on the other hand have a much harder time approaching because of the very fact that they do value your opinion. What you think matters to them so being rejected by someone they actually value for who they are can feel really suck. And when you have that kind of fear and anxiety basically any sign that can be interpretted as you not being interested WILL be interrpreted as you not being interested in them even if you actually are. So you may wonder how that can be changed?

Well to change it you're gonna have to do some work. Yes it won't always be fun or easy but things don't change unless you do. If a guy doesn't feel like you're going to say yes they won't approach you because why would someone do something that is automatically going to fail. And that's how they feel about approaching you. You have to give of cues. And yes they have to be obvious cues. But then he might know I like him before I truly know if he likes me. That's true but that's the compromise you have to be willing to make because they are the one that's going to do the approaching and even if they feel like you'll say yes it's still nerve wracking. So what are some things you can do. Eye contact and no not just a awkward your eyes accidently meet and then you both look away. No you have to hold his gaze. Another thing you should do almost EVERY time you guys make eye contact is to smile. I have to maintain eye contact AND smile? Outrageous! Yes you do, now go do it. Other things you can do is always say hello to him when you see him and strike up conversation. You can give him verbal nods into you being open to being asked out by talking about things you like or are in town i.e. "I've been wanting to go bowling but I just haven't found an excuse to go ;)"

Now you may be thinking if he'll think you're desperate and he'll be scared off and this is probably the main reason why I see girls ignore the guy they like when they want nothing more than to talk to them. I can tell you now that if they actually are a decent dude and they actually do like you then you will not come off desperate in any form and they will find you charming and pleasant to be around. Just like they create reasons to not approach you you're also creating reasons why not to make it easier on him to actually do it. SO DO IT! If you want a guy to approach you gotta give him some friendly nudges to let him know you won't bite his head off for asking him out.

Finally you're probably wondering why I have this photo of a girl putting on deodorant. I was looking for photos to use for the take and then stumbled upon this on google images and for whatever reason I laughed so here you go...


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What Girls Said 6

  • Great take, but it needs a lot of patience and determination to tell a shy good guy you like him straightforward.

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  • Lovely take but there's also an option of just being straightforward. But, that's often a hard decision to make so I agree.

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  • Nice take!

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  • great take

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  • You got it all wrong.

    Instead of telling girls to continue sitting back and giving hints, you should entice them to approach guys themselves. That's the only surefire way to get a guy. Passively giving "hints" will just end up frustrating yourself.

    Stop waiting to be approached, start approaching yourself. That's the only reliable advice I can give.

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    • Many just can't bring themselves to do it out of fear of rejection.

    • @Octavius I know, that's why I'm trying to encourage people to do it anyway. Shyness and anxiety sucks.

    • I've been saying this for years. Agreed 100%. Girls should start approaching much more often.

      It's interesting to hear that there are actually women who agree with me on this.

  • Maintain eye contact and smile at a guy? Really wtf. This is just really ridiculous

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    • This won't work if the girl takes public transportation a lot
      It will just attract more weirdos

What Guys Said 5

  • Nail on head, loved it!

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  • Good take. I think a lot of girls fail to grasp the reason why they never get approached by good guys.

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  • "But you may wonder why the jerks are approaching in droves while the guys you like are no where to be found during dating prime time."

    Because the chicks always say yes and think those guys are insanely sexy.

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  • This is stereotypical bullshit. I guess most girls a guy approaches in a club or bar is a gold digging bitch too right? And why do you assume a girl wants more than sex? Just because she says she's not getting the type of guys she likes doesn't mean she doesn't still only want sex.

    You make it seem like guys who are fearful of approaching can't also be jerks. I would say most guys who approach girls have an outgoing personality. Not so much so that they are jerks or not. Guys who aren't outgoing can be just as much assholes as the guys who are outgoing. This again like I said is stereotypical bullshit.

    A lot of jerks care about the opinions of others. They care how they are perceived. Some girls are probably attracted to what you deem as a jerk too.

    Saying hello is a good method. It's actually to me probably the safest, because it's a comfortable thing. Around here people say hello to total strangers all the time. It's so simple and yet a effective way to start a conversation. Don't over think it. Don't beat yourself up looking for the perfect excuse. Just say hello.

    I think half the time the desperate thing is just an excuse and the other half of the time girls actually believe it. The interesting thing is from what I've seen and just me personally most of us guys don't really pay the desperate stuff much mind. The only time it gets really out of hand is after a established relationship in which a girl is trying to get more out of something that isn't there. If I'm just getting to know her then she can be a little aggressive with me. I don't mind it and other guys don't seem to either.

    Something that a lot of people don't talk about is how creepy eye contact can be. Not just guys looking at girls but girls looking at guys. Sure eye contact is important, but it can creep us guys out too just like girls get creeped out. I've been creeped out by girls who have gazed at me even if I was attracted to them.

    I love the smell of female deodorant, but I can use a lot of them. They are too strong and break me out. TMI but I don't know you posted a random picture so I posted a comment on it.

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    • *can't

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    • "Jerks have an easy time approaching because they are just that, jerks."

      "So they aren't really afraid of being rejected because they really never cared about what you thought so why would they feel bad about anything."

      "Actual decent dudes that value you as a person on the other hand have a much harder time approaching because of the very fact that they do value your opinion."

      It's not true. I consider myself I bit of an asshole at times with a short temper and yet I don't approach. In fact I feel like I should force the girl to do it. See even jerks comes in different shapes and sizes :)

    • Yes, again in the take I address there are both jerks that approach and there are ones that don't. But they aren't the focus of this take it's about girls wanting the guys they like that aren't approaching them.

  • This is a superb myTake! How I wish women gave at least SOME signs, instead of being 'mysterious' and expecting us to read their minds all the time.

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