First dates can be nerve recking.
Especially, when you're just getting out in the field or haven't been in a while.
You tend to overthink little things that usually come very natural to you.
"How's my appearance?"
"What should I talk about?"
If I say too much, maybe I'll scare this person away.
It's completely opposite...
If I say too little then I'll scare this person away!
You just can't seem to stop overthinking!
Your feelings of anxiety continue to overwhelm you.
So, it's no surprise that you've ruined the first date.
Well, you didn't ruin it completely...
(Ahhh, that provides comfort to your temporarily dampened soul!).
Your first date agreed not to see you anymore because there was no spark.
All you needed to do was take a deep breath, relax, and go with the flow.
Doesn't that sound so simple?
Yes, it does. But so difficult to attain in a time of apprehensiveness and uncertainty.
I often think that some people are too quick to dismiss another. Every one is different. Some people can get a date flowing within just a few minutes. Other people tend to warm up to another after a first meet.
After the first date the most uneasy part is over. The person no longer will have those feelings of self doubt or questioning. They will come to the realization that, "Hey, I did it! Maybe things weren't so bad." The first date gives a anxious person the opportunity to get the nerves out of their system. Now that the "worst" part is seemingly over, things can potentially look up from here?
A second date only confirms your initial thoughts.
If you're still not hitting it off with this person at least now you have no doubts!
End it now!
Just because you are on a first date meeting someone in the flesh, doesn't mean you are actually MEETING them. In the other words, this person is physically there but may not be showing you who they are. Perhaps, this person overtalked too much, or maybe they were a bit too reserved.
You sensed it...
something seems off.
This person was probably just too nervous to be themselves.
Unless the date was a complete disaster then I can agree with you not wanting to see more of this person. However, if you ended things all because you didn't feel a "spark" or "chemistry", You should understand that sometimes things take a little time to gravitate towards that direction.
Feelings aren't always there in the beginning but have potential to grow.
Sometimes a second date is needed for things to start to blossoming.
Don't be so quick to say, "No!"