Why I Think Guys Should Read "The Rules"

Let me start by saying I haven't actually read "The Rules" but I'm referring to books like it that essentially tell women what behavior is most attractive to men. Of course, no women on this site probably read anything like it and probably would burn any copy they could get their hands on as anti-feminist, but as usual that small percentage of very vocal feminists who are sometimes on my side and sometimes want to burn me at the stake will not deter me from writing this Take the way I want to write it. So here's my thinking...

Why I Think Guys Should Read

- Women Are Taught The Rules Whether They Like It Or Not

In the way their mothers behave with their fathers or their older sisters or their friends or the media. Teachers are everywhere. We're all looking to make sense of this reality. We're all trying to figure out what's real and what's misconception. To survive, a woman, like a man, has to inevitably look to the most common practiced example so that she knows what life means as a woman.

If a guy knows "The Rules" he can know some of what they've been raised to think whether they've bought into it or not. This can lead to understanding and understanding is always essential in any positive relationship.

- May Help Differentiate Between Disinterest and Playing A Role

This is a smaller point but it's always great when you can tell why you aren't getting responses that you want. Sometimes that girl that you think hates you just likes you so much she doesn't want to come off too needy.

- The "If I Like A Guy I Won't Text Him A Lot" Epiphany

Every man hopefully has it. The girl that crushes on you isn't often the one inviting you to frozen yogurt. She's making awkward conversation and running away from you in the hallway because she hasn't done her makeup. It changes the signs you look for in a woman. I imagine The Rules gives you a lot more insight into how women actually act around guys they like.

- Paranoid People Will Find Sources To Fuel Paranoia

Yes, such a book can make you extremely paranoid. I would argue, however, that if it does you were already a paranoid person to begin with and were going to find fuel for that fire one way or another. This book just gave you an easy means. To a guy who doesn't think all women are against him and are part of an evil militia hellbent on destroying the integrity and self esteem of all men--this book might actually give you some information that can give you good insight on your lady.

- 90% Of Relationship Problems are Miscommunication

I read that somewhere. I should cite this but I won't bother. Think about it...you got together and you were more or less the same people as when you break up. The difference is a lot of miscommunication happened. You said stuff she said stuff. Or you didn't know how to communicate or she didn't. Someones needs went unfulfilled and so goes another end to a love story. By understanding why a woman might not be able to act the way you think she should act, you can learn to be more patient with her.

- It could be funny

We spend so much time thinking about girls it might be funny to realize they actually have all these crazy things they do so that we don't know they like us. You might see something in the book and be like yep...that's what that one girl was doing. Yep. I'm never opposed to some good laughter.

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What Girls Said 5

  • I guess I'm one of the few women here who read such a book. People can complain all they want about it, but it won't change the fact that men like what they like, and women like what they like. You can either learn the rules, start playing by them, and get yourself an amazing partner, or rely on pure luck. My only advice would be this: if you want to really understand a man, listen to a man; if you want to understand a woman, listen to a woman. Don't believe people who claim they know everything about the opposite gender, a vast majority of them don't know shit.

  • This is such a good take- congrats!

  • I don't even know what "the rules" are, to be honest...

    • it's a oldie

    • Show All
    • Well, yeah - from society in general, and I've realized and accepted that I don't match up with much of what is considered attractive. I thought you were talking about "the rules" of dating or something.

    • I think it's more like men don't find women who talk non stop blah blah so then women in turn learn to be less chatty until they get to know the guy

  • Let's not.

    What ever happened to straightforward communication? Nobody needs "rules" for basic communication.

    • ok Kirah you said let's not so clearly you have the power to decide

  • I actually enjoyed reading this, thanks @pavlove for sharring :)


What Guys Said 2

  • It's so true, my wife is such a Nazi when it comes to rules. She was raised sooooooo strictly that she has panic attacks when she doesn't have organization and structure. I like both of those things but will forgo them every chance I get.

    • Like we will have an argument when I explain why I agree with a comment she said or viewpoint she had. By simply acknowledging her statement and explaining why I agree with her using similar words in my explanation I will literally be saying 1. How I feel 2. Why I feel that way. Somehow relating to her using almost the exact same words will be heard as something completely different than what she just said. This leads to her getting pissed and a conflict ensues. Psychologists and therapists teach us that repeating a question back to a person in a response is the best way to acknowledge and validate them. So How the fuq is it taken any other way?

  • All of this seems lame to me. It really does. Maybe I am just ignorant, but to me human behavior patterns aren't the same for every man and woman, there isn't a one size fits all approach to human interaction.