Why I don't want to fall in love

[Anonymous]

This myTake is not going to bitch about either gender being horrible either way just certain individuals in my past. I'm not going to whine about why I can't find love because one I don't care for it anymore and two I don't have it in my heart to try all over again for someone else. I'm writing this mytake to relate to people and also maybe it show why some people in this world do not want a relationship. If there any spelling or grammar mistakes I don't care about it to change it.

One: It will fall apart.

This song constantly reminds me why I do not want to fall in love for a long time. One reason it ALWAYS or 99.999999999% of the time it falls apart (for me at lease). I know what you guys are thinking "well there always a change it can work" I know that. But everytime I feel like it will work out nope it falls apart right infront of my eyes. I'm just tried of the possibility of it working out or breaking up and it ends up breaking up right now I rather have it work out if I want to love again.

Two: Love can break your spirit drastically.

Some people can just rub one out after a while from crying and be ok again. Me yeah after getting my heart broken last time I don't want to cry no more I don't want to feel like it eating me alive. I just want a love that will last and it is real. I don't want to be with a guys who going to make me shred a millions tears (a few is fine but if I could fill up a lake with all the tears he cause me I rather be single then).

Three: The same old love story that ends repeating over and over again.

I know I am not the only one who feels sick of every time you fall in love and each time it. The.Same.Damn.Thing.Over.And.Over.Again. All I ask is that one of my love stories works out for me. I know some people are probably in my boat right now just wanted the endless cycles to end. I can wait for the right person for a long time but what I don't want is cycles.Stories repeating over and over. Give me a break for once thanks life.

Four: Can I just find a guy who on the same page as me?

Like I just said can I just find someone who wants what I want? like if he wants to stay with me stay. If he wants to date me date me. I'm just tired of getting into these dramas where one person feels this way and the other person doesn't want anything. I just rather skip to the good part and be on the same damn page with someone so it will work out.

Five: Can there not be assholes in the dating world?

Or can we have it where good people or people who want to date find each other easier then it is for a asshole to find someone?. Can all the assholes find each other,date each other and realize holy fucking shit this is horrible so they realize their ways and change for the better?. Actually I have a better time asking for raining dildos then that.

Six: Always left in pieces after the tragic "break up".

What I mean by this when a relationship ends you left in pieces after its over. Can I either feel nothing at all or me and the guy who breaks up ends on a good note so I don't feel that bad?. Usually I am the one hurting at the end and just you know feel torn apart. Can I alease have my exes be nice to me and leave our relationship off on a good note instead of us having issues with each other or hate each other? It would make my life better and I would feel better.

I'm just going to leave this mytake this way if you have more reasons why you don't want to fall in love then write it below!. Bye

[sweetkiss99]

I actually agree with this is many way. But It's not so much that I don't want to fall in love, its more
"I dont"beleive in it. I had the same issues things just kept not working out. Nothing lasted long and always just spontaneously went left. I came to the conclusion, I was meant to be alone. I don't believe in True love, never beleived in love at first sight,😒or soul mates. 'Fucc Love" is my motto. Bitter? Some may say.. but I call it moving on an accepting destiny. For you, I think you just need to work on your self esteem. Breakups hurt but shouldn't leave you feeling hopeless. Keep looking thinking more optimistically. I know its hard when your use to the opposite. But its doable. I believe dating is a discovery phase. You will have bad experiences as well as good ones. You're gonna run into
A-holes, jerks etc. You will learn a lot about your self, people, and life. Thats just a part of it. I don't beleive you don't want to fall in love.(based on what you wrote.) I just think your displeased with what has been happening. Like, a user below said. When you meet the right dude. Your feelings will change plus you are still young. As for stories repeating over and over. I was told.. When that happens there is something you need to learn, and it will reapeat until the lesson is learned. I believe this in a way.

[ImSoSozzled]

‘It’s hard to really, like, look at somebody and go, “hey, maybe something nice will happen.” I know too much about life to have any optimism, because I know even if it’s nice, it’s going to lead to shit. I know that if you smile at somebody and they smile back, you’ve just decided that something shitty is going to happen. You might have a nice couple of dates, but then she’ll stop calling you back and that’ll feel shitty. Or you’ll date for a long time and then she’ll have sex with one of your friends, or you will with one of hers, and that’ll be shitty. Or you’ll get married, and it won’t work out and you’ll get divorced and split your friends and money and that’s horrible, or you’ll meet the perfect person who you love infinitely, and you even argue well and you grow together and you have children, and then you get old together and then she’s gonna die. That’s the best-case scenario, is that you’re gonna lose your best friend and then just walk home from D’Agostino’s with heavy bags every day and wait for your turn to be nothing also.’ – Louis C. K.

[apple24]

Wow... I don't even know what to say but your so right.

[ImSoSozzled]

Haha I mean, I tend to think the good times are worth the bad, because if you think about it, you can't really have one without the other. Your brain gets used to consistency, so if love was always happy and never tragic, it wouldn't be worth as much.

I think extremely pessimistic views can be hilarious though, and Louis C. K. is certainly the king of those.

[abzence]

If we embody love and live it instead of crave and demand it from others then there will be no hurt because we don't expect anything.

Love itself will never hurt. It's when we attach different emotions and expectations to this love and when these get shattered, that we feel hurt or disappointed.

We feel hurt because we don't get that something that we want. We create a dream and it hurts to see this not coming into fruition.

To love is not hard. The hard part is getting what we want. But that has actually nothing to do with love. Love is not about getting something or someone.

Unconditional love is the path to freedom and happiness but many people attach many conditions to their love. We want love from others when we feel something is missing or something is broken. If we "complete" our self instead or looking "out there" or for other people to fix this for us then we will know love.

Love can actually not be given to you from somebody else. Others can only help to remind you what you already have.

[Mekkalyn]

And then you'll meet the guy that changes your opinion on every point you make.

When you meet the right person, it doesn't feel like work. You don't have that worry eating away at you that it won't work out, you just both know that it will.
The biggest thing is that you have to be on the same page. You need to have roughly the same morals/values and goals. You need to be similar enough to where you don't disagree on life changing things, but different enough to keep things interesting.

You shouldn't focus on finding your right person. It will either happen or it won't. You need to better yourself so when the right person comes along you don't make a huge mistake and end up hurting him and yourself in the long run. You need to be healthy mentally and be open and willing to have a relationship.

You both have to be willing to do absolutely anything to make your relationship last. That is the key to having a long lasting relationship, at least from what I've seen with my family members. And although my relationship isn't nearly that long (almost 3 years) I know that we have the traits and the strength to make it because we are always on the same page. We are on eachother's team always, no matter what. We love each other and know everything about each other. We have an unconditional kind of love (with the only forbidden thing being cheating - but that's obvious).

If/When it happens to you, your views will change.

[Starfishlover]

I am exactly like you. I used to want someone to love me but then after years of heartache and abuse, I just cannot be bothered anymore. There will be a high probability that the person will cheat on you if you get married and unfortunately, love is conditional. There are a rare few times where people will be in love forever like my parents but this is because they are devout Christians like i am. I hope to have a relationship like them one day but there is one crucial thing they have that not many people have. They have a lot of tolerance and forgiveness.

[Punkbuster107]

Statistically, you have to run at least 100,000,000,000 tests before you can be 99.999999999% percent sure of a probability.

I think what you really mean is you have yet to have success. I'm pretty sure if you really tried 100,000,000,000 times you'd have come across the right guy by now, namely because you'd have tried falling in love with the whole world's population, plus another 93,000,000,000 or so, and I can guarantee that isn't the case, cause you haven't even met me or any of the guys I know.

Your argument is invalid. Love wins. ^_^

[myTake Owner]

^_^ if you claim to be a nice guys chances are your not but I agree but I don't want to take 100,000,000,000 chances just one will do.

[Anonymous]

i dont understand you people , first you're probably 15 so what do you know about love? and no not all guys are assholes why do you think that , why do you think all guys are assholes , and lets face it by all guys you mean attractive ones , okay i have a girlfriend who keeps reminding me constantly how there are no guys like me , extremely attractive ( in her own words not mine ) nice, caring and deep and actually meaningful and confident and knows how to treat a girl , i've never looked at myself like that but since i came to this site i started realising that more and more girls think guys are assholes and iam like " well iam not i actually know exactly how to treat a girl and they absolutly love it " I don't know where you find these guys but i exist and i am sure guys like me do too , so I don't know whats going on with girls these days but no not all guys are assholes some are actually great and perfect you just gotta find the really good ones not only the pretty ones.

[myTake Owner]

One: I'm not 15 is that the only number you know? and two who said I don't know anything about love? because dating my ex I realize I shouldn't have to be treated like I'm a lying cheater like the way he treated me or how he put me down and make me feel worthless I know if you love someone you wouldn't do that to them. I also know you wouldn't try to control their life the way you want it. That's not love I know love is trusting the person you love, never putting them down and never making them feel worthless and you wouldn't control their life. So don't say I don't know anything about love thanks since you could be possible 18 for all I know its not your anything better. Well I'm glad you notice that the female side of the human race is getting fed up with men behavior.

[Opinion Owner]

i am 20.5 by the way not 18 and i dont truly think people at that age know what is love , dont get me wrong you can feel it you can really feel it deep down that you want that person more than anything , but only because you can't be objective enough which is something you gain with age , i am much more mature and make much better descions than few years ago so i know how different it can be.

[myTake Owner]

But its kinda funny a 20 year old is telling me I'm too young to understand but a 45 would say the same thing to you :p

[Opinion Owner]

and in a way he would be right what a 45 knows is different from what i know and what i know is different from what you know , i happen to be a bit different by nature but your average 16-17 year olds act based on feelings and insticts tha are wrong in a lot of times which causes them huge problems trust me i know , i give advice to my younger friends who are in such situations and usually the advice i give is what they need to do , sometimes they do as i say sometimes not but at the end its always the same , iam right and theyre not simply because i get to look at it in an objective manner and i know what i want and what people want and i know how they act in different situations

[Unit1]

I think this is nothing really new because I learned, that most people are basically douchebags, believe it or not. That leads to countless of heartbreaks and drama as they trusted the wrong person. Best is to decide if the person is worth your time/efforts. See if the person is damaging you or not before committing.

It's just, that in one place they are more often than they are somewhere else.

[myTake Owner]

I agree now I won't date someone until I'm known them as a friend for a long time.

[apple24]

I agree with... people trust the wrong person... best to decide if he worth it or not... not was perfect!

[myTake Owner]

@apple24 Good now your won't be stupid next time :p

[Anonymous]

Yup, this take, I totally identify with it!

I can't tell you how tired I am of trying to find a guy, spend all that time, making dates, planning ahead, only to find out he wants nothing to do to me or thinks I'm just 'meh' or that "I'll do for now". No, I want something real.

I'm a good person with good qualities. Unfortunately it's hard to find someone compatible. I've pretty much become okay with being on my own. I've been on my own for so long and struggled so much with relationships that I think it's probably meant to be that I'm single.

I get told all the time that I would make a good partner. But I have such a hard time meeting guys in person. I do the online thing, but that doesn't bring up anything. Most of the guys I encounter either want to rush into something or they are lukewarm at best, or they are much older than me and we have nothing in common.

[myTake Owner]

Actually I went on okcupid and starting talking to a guy who wasn't my "ideal" guy now I'm dating him because I realize he prefect for me maybe you should look else way for a guy then the usual of what you want. I realize that in order to find a good guy I need to stop going after the same old same. Maybe that's your problem.

[Opinion Owner]

I've been trying, but I'm not having luck. I'm giving lots of people chances. But I'm having a hard time trusting anyone and I'm afraid of making another mistake and choosing the wrong person.

[myTake Owner]

Exactly but don't go for guys who talk about sex so early.

[Opinion Owner]

See that's the thing I don't do that either. My last boyfriend took things slow. I thought he must really like me to be so patient. It took us 6 dates to kiss. And a few months before we had sex. He was talking about moving in together and how much he liked me. Turns out that he was cheating all along and I had no clue.

[myTake Owner]

Oh wow then I don't know.

[flirtygirl247]

Great take! I no longer look for love because unfortunately I don't have time to waste on guys who aren't on the same page. Dating in today's society has completely changed and their is almost like a series of stages that you have to go through to actually call someone your significant other.

[myTake Owner]

I know like what the hell if you don't want to date just say it and go look for someone else.

[myTake Owner]

Don't bother people like us who are seeking relationships.

[Mustachekitteh]

Even if you find a guy you truly love. It's still going to be bumpy. Even if he's 100% perfect and never does anything wrong. You could end up being the person who does all the damage without meaning to. Then knowing u hurt them kills u more than having someone leaving u.

[myTake Owner]

I know that but if he was the one I feel like no one what happens it work out.

[Mustachekitteh]

Sometimes you have to go through hell to get what you truly want. Plus finding that one person can end up in the last place you would even think to look for.

[micheal727jovanie]

You and me both most girls. met a few girls in my life who were bitter and indecisive on whether we should be together or not.

[myTake Owner]

I agree can people just be on the same page for once.

[lovebae55]

holding off on my opinion on this take, why the hell do guys between the ages of 18-24 feel that anyone under 18 is 15 and if they are, they are pretty much stupid and full of hormones so they are just dramatic and boy crazy. Don't be an ignorant ass. Back to the take, you are right as hell, preach. Not just love as in with a significant other but with people in general. People always find away to screw u over.

[Calex]

I can really really relate to this, very nice take indeed. One of the best takes I've seen this month.

I just don't really agree with how you handled number five. It just seems to promote dramatic behaviour by calling out others doing so.

I can also relate to the picture at the end. I'm in an imaginary relationship with the perfect girl :] feels good

[ClassicRocker]

Better song:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WtfHk2hSlqA

[micheal727jovanie]

this song would play every day when i worked at a boring grocery store. Tbh i dont like it 3:

[ClassicRocker]

@micheal727jovanie You can't deny that the woman in the music video is absolutely STUNNING though...

[micheal727jovanie]

TRUE DAT!!! :3

[sweetkiss99]

#Classic.

[Anonymous]

When you meet the right guy, every word of your post will go out the window... as it should be. :-)

[myTake Owner]

I hope so :).

[serious]

Right guy? What do you mean by that? that word "right guy" is vague. What is important is the @Asker should wait for the perfect person, I mean the guy who will be "perfect for her"( Asker) and not just some right guy. The guy who will meet her standards ( if she has any).

That's my view.

[serious]

@myTakeOwner.

You still have hopes despite what you have mentioned in your take? I thought you had given up, I thought you were tired of all this?

Anyways it's good to know that you still believe in love.

[myTake Owner]

Let me clear for you and other people who see this I don't hate the idea of love or gave it up completely. I gave up trying to find love for a few months but recently a guy did came in my life and I am happy with him :) he what I ask for.

[Anonymous]

To be honest, why should the world care whether you do want to fall in love or not? (I am not trying to be sardonic here--this is the truth).

[myTake Owner]

I am not asking for people to care if you care if you don't ok then.

[Starfishlover]

Ugh... There has to be an Asshole here

[myTake Owner]

@Starfishlover Exactly like I am not asking him to care he can care if he wants.

[Opinion Owner]

Whatever. . . I

[blue_sun]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z-ZvvQduqQM

I love this song.

[Anonymous]

My equivalent to this is, why I know it is better to be alone completely but Lord have mercy I need to have the sex lol Number one is the truth it will fall apart more times than less

[Hezigrimm]

I have thought the exact samething. Just take some time and don't worry about it, like you are doing, then someday it will work out.

[myTake Owner]

Exactly I have found a good guy but looking for mr Right right now I decide I wait until my late 20s for that lol.

[Hezigrimm]

That's a good way to look at it, and who knows he may come along sooner. Only time will tell.

[myTake Owner]

Exactly.

[bustas]

same topic , i love this jazz song ; p

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fZgvmNwjZE4

[Doffydood]

It's nice to find someone who thinks the same way :)