What's wrong with being average?

[OlderAndWiser]

I commented on a post recently. It was one of those how-do-I-look things and I responded as I usually do. Some of those things are annoying, of course, like the guys wearing sunglasses in every photo 'cause they're obviously cooler that a polar bear's ass. But some of those posts are girls who are upset because they had an argument with their boyfriend and he told her something stupid like "you're fat and ugly," so of course they want some reassurance that they are not really fat and ugly.

So I told her "Oh, he is an idiot of the highest order! Honestly, I think you are a 7.5/10, but if you were my girlfriend. the number would jump to 8.5/10!" That was a very honest response. She is a cute girl . . . and my girlfriend looks prettier to me than she does to others, so it was all honest.

Anyway, another G@Ger - let's use a fictitous username like IAmAnIdiot - responded to my opinion and said, "SHE IS FAT." Well, since it was in all caps, I knew he was quite serious. Why do people enjoy being mean? Human nature never changes.

Another user - let's call him AlsoAnIdiot - posted an opinion and asked, "Question is why was he dating you if you're just average?" Well, this girl was actually cute; she wasn't drop-dead-gorgeous-needs-an-armed-guard-at-all-times, but she wasn't average. But the comment restarted my brain and I asked myself, "What if she was 'just average?' What would be so bad with that?"

I tried explaining that if the only people who dated were the ones who were above average, more than 50% of the population would not date and the human race would start shrinking. Howeve, true to his username, AlsoAnIdiot failed to grasp this concept and replied, "He must've found her attractive enough to date. So either she was attractive at the time and became ugly later on or the guy was desperate so he went for any girl that would take him."

I want to celebrate the concept of average. Average means not ugly, not beautiful; not stupid, not genius; not too short, not too tall. The world is powered by these average people. They go to work, do their jobs well, have fun with their friends, get married and remain faithful, don't demand attention, and are very dependable.

I am above average in some ways but very average in other ways. Ladies don't turn to look at me when I walk into a room. I'm not the life of the party. But I am Mr. Dependable, Mr. Faithful, and Mr. Devoted Partner.

My current girlfriend looks average to others but she is beautiful to me, and she is a wonderful girlfriend. I could chase after beautiful women (if I was not already in a relationship) . . . and I am not intimidated by them . . . but there are so many other things that are important. I could fall for the Hollywood notion that only beautiful people have beautiful lives but I am not a sheep, I won't be told what to think and how to act. I am chasing after average women and I am happy.

When I hold my girlfriend in my arms as we lay in bed at night, I don't feel that I am holding "average." I am holding a woman who is very special, who has some wonderful qualities, who I think is beautiful, and who I hope will be with me the rest of my life.

I highly recommend that you go chase after an average partner. It may result in the best catch of your life!

[Lilac79]

Such a good take! Thanks so much for the way that you answered this girl's question, and the way that you defended her. If is was in her shoes, you would have been somewhat of a hero to me! I love that you were honest when giving your opinion of her, and not just saying she looks nice to make her feel better... and I'm glad you defended her over the comments that were idiotic.

[HighlanderTheOne]

Let's make an 'Average Day'. Let's make it on Monday.

[OlderAndWiser]

Wouldn't it be more appropriate to have Average Day on Wednesday, the middle of the work week?

[HighlanderTheOne]

Yeah that sounds better. You should organize it.

[peachblossomluck]

Good point lol.

[Jamie05rhs]

"I tried explaining that if the only people who dated were the ones who were above average, more than 50% of the population would not date and the human race would start shrinking."


This is a very interesting point, @OlderAndWiser. Because that is actually happening right now in the United States. (And particularly in certain communities. ... Specifically, churches.). The hot people marry the hot people, but everyone else is just pretty much left there.


Now, I'm not necessarily saying it's wrong. You can't force attraction if it just isn't there. And maybe, just maybe, the trend of ugly people -- and even average people -- remaining single and dying alone is actually a good thing (in a cold and heartless way, yes; but good nonetheless.). Because it is nature's way of improving the gene pool.
(And no, I'm not a eugenicist; these are just simply random musings of an honest thinker.)


Although, I sometimes wonder, if everyone was a little less superficial, maybe the hot people would marry the average people and everyone's kids (the next generation) would be average-hot, therefore balancing the scales again.

[Prettygurl12]

Yay for average!

I like being average, actually.

I never get why people want to be 10's or whatever. Like... there are billions and billions of people on the planet. We can't all be above average.

Average is average for a reason and obviously average does okay because average people continue to reproduce just fine lol

[OlderAndWiser]

I just looked at your profile picture. You look above average to me!

[Prettygurl12]

To you, but like you said, people are 10s to some and 2s to others.

[Touglyforfemales]

Average girls have it easier then average looking men

[Prettygurl12]

And yet average males continue to father offspring... go figure @Touglyforfemales

[Touglyforfemales]

Well I'm ugly so I'll die a pathetic virgin. Just be glad you were born female.

[RandomPerson1324]

@Touglyforfemales get a prostitute or gain some social skills

[Touglyforfemales]

@RandomPerson1324 Again with the fucking get a prositute. Maybe I have self respect for myself no wonder so many people especially women think guys are pigs.

[candyaurora]

@Touglyforfemales wow it is quite opposite in my society. You will find many couples with great looking females but average to below average men!

[Touglyforfemales]

@candyaurora And what countries that.

[candyaurora]

@Touglyforfemales Pakistan 😑

[coconutelixir]

This was a sweet take... thanks for sharing. I never really thought about it, we don't really celebrate average enough. I think modern society has a heavy emphasis on the above average-beautiful... so average we may be but it's ingrained in most of us to want more so we may forget to accept what we are or accept it in disappointment due to comparison. A sizable chunk of dudes on this site are just so unpleasantly bitter. I want to have some sympathy having it rough, but there's no need to bring others down with them.

[peachblossomluck]

I know this girl in her mid twenties whom none of the other "competitive " females find a threat because they think of her as a plain Jane. There is just something about her that makes her likable as a friend and the guys really like her. She is "Miss Average" and does better than a lot of them!

[OlderAndWiser]

Exactly! Average can be very attractive.

[peachblossomluck]

She is down to Earth and not stuck on herself like they can be I think:) No ugly ego getting in the way♡

[lanternhill]

I just finished watching Sherlock, so here's a comparison:

John Watson is (technically above but close to) average. He's very sweet and a dependable, wonderful man in many ways. He's attractive but not amazingly handsome, and quite intelligent but not a genius. (Okay, he's a doctor, so he's above average intelligence, but he seems to be what you're talking about).

While many people admire Sherlock Holmes, it seems that the spectrum of average-and-mostly-average tend to lead more contented lives in many ways.

[lanternhill]

Also, AlsoAnIdiot appears to be, uh, below average.

[QuestionMan]

The problem with average is that it's just above ugly. There really is no excitement.
Average people are sheep, the above average are the shepherds while the ugly are the gate used to close the pen. Yes each has a role in society but to accept average is to lower yourself to that level. It shows that you're not good enough for something great and that you're just willing to settle.

[OlderAndWiser]

There is nothing wrong with aspiring to be the best that you can be, but there are some things that we cannot change. A girl with an "average" appearance can only do so much with what she's got. An adult male with a 5 1/4" penis can't make it bigger. Everybody can't be a 9/10.

[QuestionMan]

Some things can't be changed while others can.
Penis size is irrelevant as long as you know how to use it.
As for physical appearance there's a lot a person can do to improve. The most common is going to the gym.

[OlderAndWiser]

I agree that penis size is irrelevant as long as you have the minimum necessary.

If a person is unattractive because of their weight or lack of conditioning, going to the gym is the cure. If a person has an average face, or an average build, or a guy is short, or a girl is tall. . . there ain't no fixing those things.

[Touglyforfemales]

To me calling someone average is a nicer way of saying you're ugly.

[OlderAndWiser]

@Touglyforfemales Brother, that is a bizarre attitude, and very self-defeating.

[Touglyforfemales]

People may say they would date an average person but only say that so they don't come off as shallow.

[OlderAndWiser]

@Touglyforfemales Perhaps you are right. Women are all sick bitches and you would be better off never going near them. If you follow that course, you can periodically whine and get some sympathy from someone, and that is an adequate substitute for female companionship, right?

[Touglyforfemales]

Like I said we all can't be born good looking. The average looking girl will still have it easier then the average looking guy. Why can't no one admit that? And don't give or tell me some bullshit how wrong I am.

[Beaver19]

To me I couldn't date what I see is average, and I honestly am turned off by the slightest bit of pudge in a girl, this comes from a military family and how much we emphasise working out and jogging and we detest how fat embracing our society has become. Anyway I always held to the idea 'never tell a girl she's beautiful if she doesn't look that way' sounds harsh but looks are a huge factor and its natural, numbering I don't exactly like as it is somewhat subjective but I'd say I typically go for 7-8 range looking girls, to me slender and s pretty face is all they need however that typically puts them in the 'attractive' category to most anyway, to me though romance is a very serious thing and something that I've never understood why others view average as acceptable

[OlderAndWiser]

How much of the world do you think is average?

[Beaver19]

3/4 I'd say, I think it's substantially higher thanks to the much higher rates of being overweight than before. but seriously out of a class of about 54 girls in it I would have dated maybe 8, however all the guys in my school agreed our towns girls weren't the best compared to smaller towns with larger numbers of attractive girls. At college though I'd say maybe 1/4 or /5 I would date, honestly that's not that bad compared to some, as I said to me slender+beautiful face is all I need

[OlderAndWiser]

1. Average is about much more than physical attractiveness. Some of those cuties you chase after probably have an IQ of 100. Perhaps they have average athletic abilities, etc. All of us are average in many ways.

2. If 75% of guys are average and 75% of girls are average, what should that 75% of the population do about relationships, dating, mating, etc?

[Beaver19]

They should try to get with someone who is attractive to them and not settle, I know you'll mock that logic but to me I even had sweet smart girls after me with an okay face, couldn't date them because yes while personality matters looks is just as much a part, you have one life and I will not spend mine with a girl I think is just average looking because to me that's not beautiful, you can say all you want bad about it but I'd give a girl who was beautiful everything and spend my days happy with her, something I couldn't do with the plain girl, if that's so wrong then go ahead and hang me.

[OlderAndWiser]

1. I have no desire to hang you.

2. If you marry a beautiful girl and she does not age well, will you divorce her because her appearance has declined?

3. In a world where everyone follows your philosophy: If the average looking guy goes after an attractive girl, isn't he going to get rejected every time? Should he just give up on dating?

[Beaver19]

There is some subjectivity one size does not fit all but it fits most, there was a few girls I worked with who other guys said had perfect butts or breasts, but to me even the slight excess weight was a near no go so I still say everyone should go for what they find attractive, and yes if that's how you take it, I'd rather be alone than with a plain girl who I didn't care for as more than a friend, I'm no stud guy myself I even have to shave my head bald from something called TE, but my face and eyes get compliments a lot and Id say I'm a 6-7, either way even if I was dreadful looking Id rather be the guy with 1,000 failures and 1 truly great success than 1,000 average accomplishments so to speak. I'd treat a girl truly remarkable, so she has to be herself. You may take that as bad but I'm just giving you un shy honedty about something in passionate about

[Beaver19]

As for a girl not aging well it depends. Given how much I jog and am active I go for girls who typically are as well so I wouldn't be concerned about her gaining weight much and that'd be the only real dealbreaker once were together I can think of, natural aging and creases etc or minor weight after a child is fine.

[ShepherdOfFire99]

I completely agree. You restore my faith. Need more MEN like you, not those boys.
Anyways, I'm at peice with averageness x3

[ShepherdOfFire99]

With my specific averageness lol

[OlderAndWiser]

You don't really look very average to me but it is always nice to see girls who don't think they're the hottest thing on the planet. That's a very attractive quality.

[ShepherdOfFire99]

Oh no I'm rock bottom lol
I agree. I mean, I can't stand people who think they're Gods gift of lust. Thank you very much for your kind words :)

[MissPoirot]

What a sweet take! Very insightful too. I usually fall for guys others see as 'unattractive'. We all look at things in a different way and that is one of the things that make life interesting.

[Anonymous]

"I tried explaining that if the only people who dated were the ones who were above average, more than 50% of the population would not date and the human race would start shrinking."

Apparently only 80% of women and 40% of men throughout human genetic history have left descendants.

tierneylab.blogs.nytimes.com/.../?_r=0

So being an average guy is not looking so good.

[OlderAndWiser]

The NY Times does not cite the source for the claim that only 40% of men have left descendants but, assuming that the statement is valid, I suspect that it is based largely on very old historical data and not on current trends. Additionally, that argument speaks only to the men who reproduced and not the number who dated and perhaps had sexual relationships but left no children.

You certainly wouldn't use historical data like this to talk about the current life expectancy of women, since the number of women who die as a result of childbirth is drastically less than it was 100 or 200 years ago. It is interesting information, but the relevance to today's social patterns is questionable.

[AnOrdinaryGirl45]

I think both IAmAnIdiot's never actually had girlfriends and The Internet is their source of information.

[OlderAndWiser]

There are many bitter guys on this site, and it seems that they would rather relish in their self-righteous indignation than find a way to connect with the opposite sex. It is very sad that people can become so disconnected.

[Touglyforfemales]

When your ugly like I am you'd understand why some of us are bitter.

[AnOrdinaryGirl45]

@Touglyforfemales This had nothing to do with being ugly and being bitter because of it. The MyTake is about celebrateing being average. And my comment was referring to those two 'boys' who were being judgmental towards the woman who asked the question olderandwiser was talking about. They were not bitter, just rude.

[Touglyforfemales]

But women have always found me ugly even those who said I wasn't all lied to me after I asked for the truth this is why I can't trust women

[AnOrdinaryGirl45]

@Touglyforfemales
media1.giphy.com/media/4Iy5tUmK0GHZu/200_s.gif

[RandomPerson1324]

@Touglyforfemales why don't you post a picture of yourself?

[Touglyforfemales]

@RandomPerson1324 Why dont you? Even if I did people would just lie to me and just tell me what they think I want to hear.

[OlderAndWiser]

@Touglyforfemales With your attitude, how would you recognize the truth? It sounds like you just want to hang on to your excuses.

[Touglyforfemales]

I find it hypocritical when he's telling me to post a pic when he doesn't have one up himself.

[OlderAndWiser]

@Touglyforfemales He was not the one complaining about his appearance.

[Touglyforfemales]

No but maybe next time some people should worry about themselves.

[orphan]

average works, that's why it's so common. all the mutations, exceptions, rarities, differences, etc... eventually are naturally neglected.

[OlderAndWiser]

And nature tends to follow the rule of regression towards the mean.

[orphan]

well said, "gimme your money, just throw it in"

[OlderAndWiser]

As Todd Rundgren said, "Don't applaud. Just throw money!"

[orphan]

real life lols.

i have nothing..

[Pedantic]

Celebrating average! *Cheers with an 'average' beer*

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mLNAkPsjAEk

[MyUsernameRules]

For a girl to be average is fine. Many guys like them but for a guy to be average isn't that great. Not as many girls like average guys.

[Touglyforfemales]

This^

[RandomPerson1324]

Average in what way? Looks? Intelligence? Income? Personality? Social skills? Sexual ability?

[Anonymous]

See:

Being average for a guy IS A VERY BAD THING

www.girlsaskguys.com/.../a22916-the-structure-of-the-dating-game-unwrapped-for-young-men-to-understand

[Touglyforfemales]

I agree women don't want average they want hot or good looking.

[candyaurora]

Awesome take. I have read somewhere that majority of the humans are average looks wise, with a very few below and above them! So why hate the majority !

[Noxifer626]

I agree with you. Moreso, I think that what is average for one person may actually be far above average for another. A personal example is that I seem to be attracted to girls most people find average or even below average. But they really look good to me.

[martyfellow]

Ah well, the difference between average and beautiful with females is mostly make-up, expensive hair style, expensive clothes, having spare time to work out...

[FrenchEmma]

I think average is great. If you're charismatic it's even better than a beautiful man/woman without charism

[foxsquirrell]

Perhaps nothing wrong, but you know, nothing special either, just average.

Imagine, which would you rather be, a golden eagle or a crow?

Or, which would you rather be, a lion or a bobcat?