4 Ways To Avoid The Friendzone

[pavlove]

Come out with a flirty vibe right away

Never try to sneak in under the radar. I don't know where guys got this fantasy from but i think it was created out of a need to stay safe while also meeting girls. there is no summer camp romance that turns into a lifelong romance...the guys at summer camp who made out with a bunch of girls (i'm hoping that's all that happened...i stopped going when i was 12) were pretty much the charismatic jerks but they certainly weren't the guys who played it safe and acted like pals then wanted to shift into dating.

Ignore the signposts your mind gives you

When you like a girl you're always looking for a sign she likes you back and that you should make a move. While this is fun to think about it's not always practical to real life and thus the scenario "oh...I thought we were just hanging out as friends..." Here's what you can trust--body language and does she flirt back at you. Also, while you're trying to figure out the signs of how you should get to know here another guy is taking the direct approach. Now, a lot of times the direct approach doesn't lead to a romance, but you can lose out simply because you didn't move on it. Find a quick way to be cute about it...if cute about it you must be but don't listen to some weird sign you think she gave you that she liked you because it doesn't mean anything. Her telling you that her boyfriend broke up with her is not a sign that she wants you to save her, sorry.

Be in Demand

Girls tend to be very concerned about the group think. You never want to appear like girls don't really get you or get into you. Sometimes this approach will work but often even lying about all the girls you get for some reason boosts interest in you. basically, anything you wouldn't want to hear from a girl she for some reason wants to hear from you in this regard. don't hide the fact that other girls find you attractive and she'll want to be a part of that club but at the same time don't seem like a player.

Bro her

This is a damned effective but cheap tactic that can be used to sort of see where she's at with you. if you call her bro and she doesn't even flinch somewhat safe to say she's not into you but she could also just not mind being called a bro because she has a masculine streak. yet if you call a girl that likes you even a little bit a bro it's pretty damn insulting and either she'll call you gal or just get bothered by it which is a clear sign that she does not like getting friendzoned in this fashion. You also can do this more subtly by just not paying that much attention to her and having a fun, non interested vibe. this may seem to contradict coming out flirty but the ways don't have to be used all at once. they're alternate approaches to not being friendzoned. you can be direct or indirect about it and i would say overall being direct is faster and more ineffective and being indirect can potentially waste time but also is a lot more alluring then just being blunt about everything.

[golani]

in the picture, that quote of the girl asking "who's coming" when you ask her out does not mean you are friendzoned. it means SHE IS NOT INTERESTED and she is kindly rejecting you hoping that you get the message.

women are very smart and communicate differently than men. when men say something its very literal. when women say something, you may need to look at it from many different perspectives in order to understand..

[BaileyisDarcy]

It could also be that she just didn't realise you were interested in the first place and automatically assumed you meant to invite her as a friend.

[pavlove]

@BaileyisDarcy thank you

[golani]

@BaileyisDarcy yeah maybe to an 18 year old girl, like yourself. but for women in my age bracket it is pretty clear to them what a guy means when, for example, he says something like "hey lets meet up for a beer". and her responding "who's coming?" is just a slap in the face. not only at the offer, but a slap in the face to his manhood and pride.

[BaileyisDarcy]

It might be a slap in the face to the guy. But that doesn't make the woman any less unaware.

I'm not saying all women mightn't notice a guys feelings. But some don't. You can't blame us all.

[golani]

@BaileyisDarcy nobodys blaming you, relax. you are 18 years old you literally know nothing about life, trust me, thats first of all. second, what i meant is i expect every girl in/around my age to realize when i am asking them out personally. and she will.

[shadowlegend]

No one can "put" someone else in the "Friendzone", we each have a choice about who we pursue a friendship with, if we can't pursue a romantic/sexual relationship with them. No one is a victim. If you don't want to be the friend of someone you would prefer to be more to, then you don't have to be their friend, it's that simple.
Read getresurgatized.com/.../

[pavlove]

did you just link me to your own blog? lol

[Bluemax]

Respectfully, shadowlegend, there are MANY people, men and women alike, who believe that if you refuse to be the friend of someone you are attracted to, you are automatically NOT a good person. I've seen this said time and again. Those people kind of are victims of generalizations, but not of the people who rejected them.

Oh, insert obligatory remark about how the friend zone doesn't exist.

[shadowlegend]

@Bluemax Everyone has a choice, no one is forced to be anyone's friend, it's a spiritual connection, that we make by choice. It's inappropriate to use "victim" in this context because in no way is someone victimized just because their crush doesn't reciprocate their feelings, it's insensitive to categorize those people as victims. Regardless of whether some thinks others won't approve if they don't want to be friends with a certain person, that person (who was rejected) still has a choice, that is entirely theirs. Don't over-dramatize the situation.

[Bluemax]

I agree that they are not victims in the sense that they have a choice. I am not being insensitive to those who reject them, nor to the rejected.

Have you seen what has been written about people who refuse friendship after being rejected? How they aren't good people? How they must assume women are some kind of vending machine? How they are liars? I'd say people who say that about them are profoundly wrong. It's not merely that they don't approve, it's that they make terribly inaccurate judgments on the rejected character. Or do you think they're right?

In my opinion, I'm not being overly dramatic. I'm simply stating facts as I see them, just as surely as you believe you are.

[shadowlegend]

@Bluemax We're not discussing if someone is inherently a "good" or "bad" person if they don't want to be friends with someone, but in regards to that, people need to make friendships based on what is right for them, not because of other people's judgments. But in regards to the "Friendzone", it's been established that there is no need to strategies to be "in" or "out" of it, people can simply be someone's friend or not (if the other person even wants to be their friend).

[Bluemax]

I wrote a mytake very similar to your article that you linked here. Perhaps you'd like to check it out. We are in complete agreement that people are free to walk out of the friend zone whenever they like. You'll get no argument from me, and I know that's not what you were discussing.

But *I'm* discussing the fact that I have read with my own eyes and heard with my own ears terrible and unjust judgments about people who have chosen to walk away from the friend zone. How they're being selfish, how they were liars all along, how they're assholes. Yet hardly anyone EVER calls these people out on their bad behavior. People write articles about how the friend zone doesn't exist, how it's a misogynistic construct, how the people there are not good people for ending the friendship, yet almost NO ONE EVER says anything about how selfish it is to expect friendship from someone who is hurting. So, I'm saying something about it, whether I was invited to or not.

[shadowlegend]

@Bluemax Yeah it is quite insensitive for people to expect someone to offer them friendship after they have rejected them. I agree. I've always thought so, which is why I encourage people to do what is right for them, and if need be, be assertive about why they don't want to be friends. Some people will be immature and start throwing insults, but those people are the ones you shouldn't befriend, and you can feel confident in the choice you made not to befriend them. (When I say "you" I mean people in general).

[Bluemax]

Yes, I agree.

What else have you written?

[shadowlegend]

@Bluemax It's all on my blog www.getresurgatized.com try reading the "opinions" category :)

[Bluemax]

Thanks.

[the_rake]

the friend-zone is a good thing for most people. lots of shy guys who don't have many female contacts if at all, let alone girlfriends, would like to be friend-zoned just to build up a base. I think is something of a myth that shy guys don't like the friend-zone. the people who generally dislike it are the guys who already have a strong social network and are looking to move past it so they can have seduce more women than they were previously able to. tbh, I don't really want to help those guys because they don't really need it anyway. the guys that need the advice actually need to become more ADEPT at getting 'friend-zoned'.

[the_rake]

haha there should be more dating advice articles titled

'how to get friend-zoned'

instead of

'how to avoid getting friendzoned'

if there is one thing I learned from conventional dating advice it is, always do the opposite of conventional dating advice.

[the_rake]

and then when you stop avoiding the friend-zone on purpose, ironically you find IT avoids YOU.

[pavlove]

I don't look at it that way. I look at it more basically as... guys are naturally trying a certain approach and it's not working. let's figure out why they're trying that approach and then help them establish another approach so that they get laid with the frequency they want. in other words, i get things done.

shy guys don't need the friend zone because the friend zone only helps to confirm their belief that they don't deserve to be the Romantic Ideal. If anything the guys who are knee deep in pussy could stand to be in the friend zone so they better learn how to listen and have actual platonic relationship with the opposite sex.

[the_rake]

'the friend zone only helps to confirm their belief that they don't deserve to be the Romantic Ideal.'

that's a good point I hadn't considered.

for me personally I usually take a direct approach because I prefer not to ask girls in my own social circles. I guess that because I normally skip all the other crap - establishing long-term rapport, taking girls to the mall as friends, etc. - I don't really see the other side of the coin (the perspective of people who get friend zoned) because it's not really something that happens to me, or an approach that I would be especially good at.

[Anonymous]

This is actually true. Though again I think the "friend zone" is a good thing in some ways. It's just there's like that friend zone where she wants to date guys but doesn't feel like you're the dating type and then there's the friend zone where you hang out with her flirt with her and you get in her panties occasionally. I like that kind lol. I usually always get sexual from the get go. It's just how I am. If she's hot and we're talking then some sexual stuff is going to slip in. I can't help it. If she doesn't like it then good that ends it right there and there's no stalemate. If she does like it then shit we good.

[RedRobin]

And sometimes there is absolutely no way someone will like you no matter how nice, flirty, amazing or attractive you are. You're never going to be everyone's type so why waste time trying to impress someone you're never going to get.

[pavlove]

people can try to be more flirty if they want stop hating

[Moose2coolvargas]

True

[damnwinter]

This is just dellusional. Either she likes you 'that way' or she doesn't. There is no 'avoiding the friendzone'.

[pavlove]

That's so interesting. I love how you explain your position with any any reasoning whatsoever and don't just spit how you want things to be.

How are you 25?

[damnwinter]

What's wrong with what I said? Look, sorry if you're being 'friendzoned', but that's no reason to delude yourself into thinking any of these things will change anything. Look at the other woman who answered this. She is right. Try to accept it and move on.

[pavlove]

again still not getting any actual reasoning or explanation whatsoever...

[damnwinter]

what explanation are you waiting for? either someone's attracted to you that way or not, and the best policy is accepting whatever it turns out to be. if they are not attracted to you, no matter what you do, it won't change.

[pavlove]

ok, lady, you believe that. i'd love to go back and forth and defend my points but I've really got to stop giving so much attention to people who just like to be stubborn and give more to people who are willing to have an actual debate and listen to my points as i listen to there's. You literally have no interest in that which is your choice and your prerogative.

Have a good day.

[lanternhill]

I present the following logical breakdown for you to make her very simple point even clearer -

Assuming the following are by and large true (God knows) -

A. attraction is necessary for a relationship. B. attraction generally cannot be forced nor can it grow over time, and it's there or it isn't.
C. Lack of attraction leads to the friendzone.
D. The friendzone is 99% unattractive friends and 1% dudes stuck there for other reasons.

- it logically follows that 99% of friendzone cases are there because of total lack of attraction and therefore (E) the friendzone is real and (F) not worth trying to get out of.

Clear now? I hate when guys do this whole "argue or your point is invalid" thing. Her point was the argument.

[pavlove]

@lanternhill maybe because you're doing the same thing and stringing it along as if there's a real argument. I'm not asking you for facts and figures I don't care about that at all. This is your opinion. I understand that it's based partly on emotion and experience--

A-is okay I'm following...
B-Not true. I've met countless girls who i didn't initially find attractive until I got to know them.
C-Not true. There's a multitude of reasons though I would agree that most guys in the friendzone aren't attractive to the girls that put them there.
D-Well, you just totally took that out of your ass.

You can't logically following something when most of your premises just plain aren't true.
E-No one is disagreeing with that?
F-I mean you haven't said anything to explain why you think that that makes any sense.

Basically, all I'm saying to her and you is why do you feel this way... which apparently is just because you want to

[lanternhill]

Let me revise. Yes I made up the stats, but I don't think it's that far off.

For some girls this is how the friendzone works, and it's really frustrating when a guy keeps trying because it's basically not listening to her opinion. Maybe it's not the case for all girls, but for the girls for whom it's true, these types of takes can be really frustrating. In my case for instance, I only friendzone guys I don't want in that way.

I've found guys kind of ehhhh but then later found them very attractive. But I've never been able to make myself like someone physically that I initially found *un*attractive.

[lanternhill]

Keep in mind that x and y generally don't apply to *all* girls. As I said, this is one way the friendzone works. I would say though that it's a pretty common one if not the majority's perspective among women. Yes, this is based on observation, but short of survey data and random sampling that's about as good as you can get on GAG.

[pavlove]

@lanternhill I understand how guys continually trying can be frustrating and obnoxious and how my take might accidentally promote that. My point was to work on the way they approach the girl in the first place so that they don't come across so non-sexual. I've learned this through advice as well as experience that the first impression is very powerful. Can we agree on that much at least?

[lanternhill]

Not in my case tbh

[pavlove]

@lanternhill lol you're so stubborn. we'll just have to disagree on this then.

[lanternhill]

Haha I am and I think I am also just different when it comes to these things.

[damnwinter]

@lanternhill Thanks a lot, I appreciate that! How am I 25 indeed. Look, for some reason I still want to help you out here even if you don't seem like the type with an open mind to the obvious facts. Maybe it will help if I tell you I actually lost my best friend because for 5 years he didn't understand that attraction is either there or not, no matter what you do. And he did every possible thing he could to change that. To the point where it got ridiculous as hell. And it still didn't work, won't work in 1000 years. And he is a good looking, kind guy with a lot to offer. Not gonna happen. Move ion and find a girl who likes you 'that way'.

[damnwinter]

everything after the thanks is for the guy with the take* should have mentionned that

[lanternhill]

No problem, I was confused for a little bit and then figured it out! And you're welcome!

[The_Realist]

I like the way you think😉👍🏻

[Anonymous]

Lol a girl getting upset cause she gets friendzoned

[pavlove]

lol it happens trust me its also cuz if you call her bro its like you're stripping her of her femininity

[Opinion Owner]

I gotta try this man

[ConsultantIsBack]

Your first point is totally spot on.

[The_Empty]

Or I can just avoid women, lol

[pavlove]

lol and so we have xvideos. com