Should you date your best friend?

Should you date your best friend?

So your best friend has a crush on you and you like them back but there's just one problem - You don't know whether or not you should date and risk the friendship or just leave it and remain friends. A lot of people think dating your best friend is a terrible idea - What if it goes wrong? What if you don't speak anymore? What if you lose them as a friend and regret it?

Well honestly, I think you would probably lose them if you didn't go out with them (once you knew of eachothers feelings) either.

Why do I say this?

Well if you and your friend like eachother but decide not to date and to just remain friends then they will eventually move on to liking someone else. And once they like someone else they will start spending less time with you and more time with this new person. Then if they start dating someone else this may lead to them spending even more time with that person and even less time with you, meaning you drift apart and are no longer friends or at least not as close as you used to be. Plus, once they date someone else, if you still like them then this can really play on your emotions and make you wonder what might've happened had you gone out with them when you had the chance.

If you date them but it doesn't work out however, then yes the same thing about drifting apart is likely to happen, but at least you will know that the person was not the right one for you so you don't have to keep wondering anymore and are free to move on.

This is why I think that if you and your friend like eachother, you should at least give dating a try since once you know of eachothers feelings, if you don't go out with them then you lose them and if you go out with them and it goes wrong then you lose them anyway so you might as well give it a go. Who knows? It could go really well and end up being the best decision you ever made.

Not to mention, since your best friends you probably already know them well on a personal level so you know what you're getting yourself into, you've likely already established a good level of trust, know eachothers likes and dislikes and know how to cheer eachother up when you're down. Now I don't know about you, but I think that makes for a pretty good start to a relationship.

So should you date your best friend? Well, if you like eachother then.. yes!


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What Guys Said 25

  • I absolutely agree with this Take. One of the worst things in life is to look back with regrets, wondering what would have happened if you had gone for it and taken the chance, given it your best effort, and grabbed for the brass ring.

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  • The whole "date your best friend" thing doesn't jive with me. I put girls in buckets and I date my dates and friend my friends. With that said, you def do want some type of friendship foundation with girls you are romantic with. I think I'm just overcomplicating this lol

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  • Honestly as a guy who has dated two of his female friends I can honestly say they were pretty good relationships, I even stay friends with both of them after the relationships were over, so yes I have done it and I would do it again.

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  • In the beginning before you steadily move forward.

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  • No, we're not gay and he's married anyway.

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  • my friends are my friends. i would never fuck my friends figuratively or literally... .

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  • I personally think that the best friend concept is why the average same-sex marriage lasts longer than the average 'normal' marriage. They actually understand each other VERY well since they have similar brains and that's why they seem much happier and less likely to cheat on each other compared to a lot of straight couples I used to know.
    I realised this concept and that's why I identify as pansexual. It means I understand most people and therefore I take into account the best-friend concept before I try dating anyone.
    Remember that golden rule? NEVER marry someone for their looks. It's something ignored so much and so that's why being pan is a good thing in my opinion. Personality matters to pan people, if it isn't quite right then person is registered as unattractive. That's how I think anyway :)
    Hope this helps. Go for it!

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  • I couldn't agree more wit this take! I always wondered what it was to date my best friend i wasn't sure if i liked her or not for different reasons but i decided to give it a try. It ended up not working out we dont speak to each other anymore but at least we tried it and her and i know that we werent right for each other and we dont have to wonder out whole lives what woukda happened if we dated. So I'd say if you like your best friend go for it!

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  • your best friend is not your best friend. he is a guy who likes you and wants to date you. guys and girls do not make friends in the same way that same sex people do. so he probably has been hoping for a long time to go out with you anyway.

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  • Truest me from my ex dont do it... i dated my béat friend and now we dont even talk anymore and its been 1 year. So truest me when i say this dont date your best friend unless your willing to lose them as a friend.

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  • I say "do it", give love an apportunity : )

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  • If my best friend is a girl, then maybe. I mean if I like her that much, then why not? Something tells me that attraction and affection would just happen though.

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  • Absolutely. If you like him and you want him, hit that shit!

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  • Smart woman. Not wanting to risk the friendship is the dumbest reason to not date someone. You are correct that it will end once one or the other begins to date.

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  • I have tried dating a best friend twice before. Both times after the relationship ended we tried to still remain friends. With one friendship we would start arguing and fighting about things all the time, and it got so bad to the point where they went "I don't want to talk to you ever again" and I was devastated and heart broken for a while.
    What happened with the other relationship was that remaining friends made it extremely difficult to move on. We would get back together, break up, remain friends, get back together, break up, and it would go on and on. So I had to end that friendship too because I needed to move on.

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  • i didn't read, but if you are in the situation, i think yes. i didn't and i regret it... one of my biggest of my life so far. and here's the thing. you know you like her and she likes you. it's not a crap shoot of knowing her intentions and she trying to figure out yours. you don't have to find out she's some huge druggie (or already is, idk). you've eliminated most of the guessing game. and from stories i've heard, most people break up over the dumbest stuff. things that don't actually mean anything in the scheme of things. like, they'll get in a fight over who's driving or where to eat and somehow blows up the relationship. rarely is it something really serious like, god forbid, 1 tries to take advantage of the other one sexually, or anything of that nature. so realistically, the friendship, regardless of what happens, can stay intact.

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  • Great mytake.

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  • Me and my best friend started dating then she told me she couldn't have children, fucked another guy then ran away to another country and now we are no longer friends.

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    • On the bright side she can't have children and you can.

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    • Personal information, but best friends are supposed to know about that kind of thing even when you aren't dating.

    • @dipta I did know but I told her we could adopt

  • I think dating someone is a way to skip all the hard work of becoming good friends and become close much easier. If you're already best friends you don't really need to date

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  • I think it's a good idea. This way, you can always talk to your partner

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What Girls Said 12

  • I'm dating my best friend right now, although the part about drifting away, I think it
    1. Really depends on the person. If it's a person who's extremely involved in the relationship it will happen anyway. Feelings or not.
    2. It's not weird that a person puts time and effort in a relationship and less in you. That's pretty much what always happends.
    3. If your relationship failed then you don't have to drift away. It depends how awkward you make it or not. I think if I break up with my boyfriend that we'll both need some time but we could be friends again.
    What I really like about dating a friend is that you already feel really comfortable with eachother. You know eachother's past and in that way can forgive eachother's flaws.

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  • I had a friend who said that in the past. I think it depends on how mature and how bad the relationship will end.

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  • I've dated many guys from basic strangers to just chat buddies and married one; none of those relationships worked out. Married my best friend, and have been perfectly happy for 6 years; so yea!

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  • Me and my best guy friend are too comfortable with each other so no, I would not get into a romantic relationship with him. It wouldn't last longer than a few seconds.

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  • If my best guy friend was really hot, I would date them!

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  • I couldn't agree more. Plus, I've always been told life's short so I should make the best of it.
    Also, this quote is really useful -has changed my life, I hope it'll change yours too:
    "I'd rather regret the things I've done than regret the things I haven't done"

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  • I have a crush on my best friend, but he says he doesn't feel the same way for me as I do for him and would prefer us to remain friends since he views me like a sister... but his actions contradict that and he does show me affection... not in a brotherly way though... I don't think it's normal to say "I'll only sit down if you sit on my lap" to your siblings.

    He has previously told me that he has dated best friends in the past but they never work out so he's put the 'no dating best friend' rule in place and quite honestly I feel a little screwed over because he got screwed over and taking it out on me. Not trying to toot my own horn but I really think he puts the whole no dating best friend rule on the wrong girl.
    He ended up becoming 'best friends' (I'm using that expression lightly) with another girl whilst being my best friend as well... they ended up dating and you have no idea how much grief that gave me, he might as well have said I wasn't good enough. The fact was she didn't show a lot of interest in him... jeez she wouldn't even cross the street for him! But of course he's oblivious and doesn't understand why I still get torn up about it and why I hate her. Either way he hasn't seen her in 3 years so I'm not complaining.

    But one night I got drunk and ended up drunk dialling him expressing how I still like him more than a friend and basically him saying he only sees me as a friend... next morning I pretended I was too drunk to remember anything I said to save myself the grief of repetitive rejection. I told some of my friends about the drunk call... they said that they can tell he likes me more than a friend and that he is probably too afraid to ruin the friendship and is comfortable at where we are now.

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  • I don't think dating your best friend would be good unless you want to lose the close friendship. I have a best friend and we confessed to have feelings for eachother , he said he loves me too much that he wouldn't want to hurt me since he knows that if we date we there's a big chance we won't be friends once we breakup. He has a girlfriend that he loves and respects and NO he does not stop seeing me. He actually spends time with me and we talk about our relationships (me and my b. f and him and his g. f) so we help eachother out and well before we had a b. f & g. f we did kiss but nothing else we didn't have sex. He says that he gets happy to see me and well our friendship is good we've been friends for a very long time. I don't think I would date him I love him too much to hurt him as well

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  • I dated my best friend. It didn't work out. But guess what? We are closer now than we were before. I love my best friend. We just weren't meant for each other romantically. He's like my soul mate... in a friend way.

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  • You should date your best friend, but only if you're actually attracted to them and you like them... also that first picture reminds me of kidnapping 😕

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  • Of course u should

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  • I'm currently in the situation and yes it's complicated, but I wouldn't change it. We just click being long time best friends we have that chemistry and yes sometimes it can be awkward but the best thing is they don't care cause they love you as a friend and care for you no matter what.

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