Why You Never Accept The Friend Zone

NEVER ACCEPT THE FRIEND ZONEWhy you never accept the friend zone


So you met this hot girl and made your moves and she decided to friendzone you. You are thinking about and it and now wondering why. "Am I not good enough for her" You think that you will eventually become close friends with her and then finally get the chance to hook up with her? NOPE.

If you offered a romantic interest in her and she rejected then that means she is letting you know that she is not sexually attracted to you. By you accepting these terms of being friends and friends only you have created a dynamic in the relationship. You are prostituting your feelings and doing yourself a disserivce. You are disrespecting yourself and your feelings. You are acting like a beta male.

If she friend zoned you.. the best thing you can do is throw your cards on the tables and make it clear that is what you want and nothing less. If she rejects you then you respectuflly go no contact. You need to stick by what you do here. If you go back then you are just another fuckboy in her book. She might just come back after a while... (it's happened to me before). But again.. you need to stick to what you say and be a man about it. Don't go on a rampage and try and make her jealous and interested in you with subtle little moves. Girls easily notice these things. Just man up and walk away..disappear. The strongest negotiating position in a relationship is the ability to walk away and mean it.

You need to let her know and make it clear that you are not interested in just being friends. If you accept this invitation as friends she will lose even more attraction towards you and eventually resent you. She will not respect you because you are not respecting yourself.

By doing the above you are acting like a man that is worthy of value. You had the balls to approach this woman and throw all your cards on the table. She rejected you but you still had the balls which makes you more attractive than the timid guy who keeps to himself. Then after she rejected you walked away with pride and shrugged it off like nothing. You respected yourself and knew your value and clearly displayed that you have value to her by your actions.

I guarentee you that she will respect you for this and might just hit you up when you least expect it. She might just think wow this guy must have 10 others girls to go to if he just dropped me like that. Now you have switched the dynamic on her. See how that works?

It's not the end of the world guys. Why waste your time and constantly get your ego crushed by a girl who doesn't want you when there are so many other beautiful women out there? You can have so much more fun in a relationship when the women is attracted to you and all over you. Some of the most attractive people get friend zoned.. don't take it personal. Be a champ at taking rejection. Be willing to take the hits. We are all going to make it bros!

Don't be this guy.


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What Girls Said 9

  • FUCK THIS MYTAKE! What about me! I been friend zone but I actually like the person to stay friends! THIS IS JUST BULLOCKS!

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    • Yep, actually, I had two guys friend zone me at different points in my 20s. I didn't drop the nascent friendship and my attraction to them disappeared over time, as we became better friends and I got involved with other guys.

      I'd actually say that these 2 guys turned out to be two of the best guy friends I have ever had, because I knew they weren't interested, so I never had to worry about ulterior motives on their parts.

      With one guy, I give him advice about the women he's dating and he gives me advice about guys I am involved with.

    • @abacaxi84 Aww! I am in that stage where I am trying to get over it. So yeah! Thanks!

  • Thanks for the laugh. lmao hahahaahaha what a load of crap. If your not getting her pants off you don't want nothing to do with her. Well it's your loss.

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  • This is true. My respect for a guy will double if he actually has the balls and self-confidence to just ask me out. None of this beating around the bush and trying to pussy out, just have the balls to come out and ask for what you want. Those guys are hot. And yes, our opinions can change about a guy. If I had a guy categorized as a 'maybe,' he can get to be a yes by asking me out, getting rejected, and then moving on to date another girl. That shows that he has self-worth and the balls to put himself out there again.

    Girls don't want losers who can't get girls, we want winners who are wanted by other girls.

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  • Awesome take! :)

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  • Sometimes when you continue being friends with her, she might come to you if she's got no one else or she suddenly sees you for the guy you are. If a guy did that with me, walked away, he would just seem like an arrogant jerk, and I would never ever contact a guy like that again. What you said was right that yeah it gives off bad boy vibe and all but you don't need to be a prick about it. When you agree to be friends, you don't have to be attached at the hip, it is just an understanding. You could just be the friends that text each to wish happy holidays, that is also moving on but it makes look like a respectful person not an idiot.
    What you said is a hit or miss, she might run after you or she might dislike you even more. I think better is to continue being friends with her but not initiating any interest until she does and suggest that you go out with a lot of girls.

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    • as much as i would like to believe you and he seems like a jerk saying all that but he is 100% right ( from experience ) girls respond best to not giving them attention and being an ass about it , a nice ass that they feel the can approach later but an ass nonethless , dont wish her a thing dont act like she matters once she says lets be friends tell her well... or okay or whatever and just walk away without making any contact with her , after a while she will start falling with you , girls are weird like that but can't do a thing about it , we have to play their game.

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    • "she might come to you if she's got no one else " - So what, you mean the guy becomes plan Z?

    • @BruceJender That's just how it is. Depends on how desperate you are to get her. I have seen some3 pretty desperate guys in life. You can't be picky.

  • I think it's also true that you should leave even if you do want to be friends with her (or him, as i think this applies to all genders), because otherwise it'll just be painful for you.
    Stop seeing that person until you're over them, if they're a decent friend they'll understand, and only go back to being friends with them when you're over them.

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  • Okay, legitimately, if a guy refuses to continue to be friends after being "friend zoned", all that tells me is that he doesn't actually value me for who I am, but rather was only spending time with me for the hope of getting with me. It literally just makes me completely dismiss him as a person. So I'm sorry, but this brilliant plan of yours really ain't so brilliant at all.

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    • What if they go completely cold shoulder on you and purposely avoid you, even though you can handle the rejection and still want to be friends (like didn't affect anything)., but the other person doesn't even wanna do that, what do you do, so they like you?

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    • If he's backing off it means he's trying to get over you. Thata how i get over a girl is breaking off contact for awhile until feelings fade.

    • Cause a guy can't be a legitimate friend and be attracted to you, just not going to happen.

      And its not always his fault either, he might have started out as just friends, but as he got to know you then he grew feelings. Yes thay does happen.

      So you really shouldn't be so quick to completely write him off as a person if he isn't talking to you after confessing for awhile.

  • Do you think that this can apply to me being friend zoned by a guy? He did that to me a week ago Thursday. I decided on my own to disappear, then he texted me last Tuesday to tell me to expect a gift on Thursday. I kept it simple and basically just said okay.

    I then decided I would disappear once I got the gift and sent a nice thanks. Well, he was thrilled to hear how happy I was. I cut the conversation when he made a dumb comment. He just replied with 'goodnight, enjoy your gift to the fullest!!!'

    Am I doing the right thing by just off and disappearing like that from someone I practically fell in love with who friend zoned me?

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    • Yeah I mean you are just going to get hurt. Doesn't matter if it's a girl or guy.. I just made it the content applicable to men because they are usually the ones who get friend zoned. I think you need to cut him off if he is teasing you like that.

    • You are. Why prolong the hurt?

    • @Marinepilot and @tony72722

      Thank you for your advice. He and I have known each other for four years and he always said we were friends, but I was hoping for more, especially cause at times we get very close and then he pulls away saying he doesn't want to screw up anything between us because he loves our friendship and the last time we were together he explained he absolutely loves our texts and has an affection for me, but he doesn't ever want a girlfriend anymore because he's afraid of screwing up.

      Not sure what having an affection for me means, but it sounded nice. He often uses 'darling' and 'babe' or 'baby' with me and makes me feel like there's more there and when it seems like he's really falling for me, bam, he pulls the we have to stop hanging out so much but I want us to still be friends.

      Uuuugh :-/

  • Eh, I actually wanted to post a question about this. Recently 2 guys approached me but I wasn t attracted to them. They were fun to hang with and all and I wish we ended up friends.
    I got upset when they cut all contact with me when I refused to date them :(
    Why always go to extremes, ain t nothing disrespectful in staying friends. It sounds a bit bitter honestly. Especially when they used to contact me everyday and then op not a single word. So it s like if you don t get what you want you just cut me off? but we had good times together and builded a sort of friendship :(

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    • Well it might sound bitter but it's kind of just how I put it. You are prostituting your feelings. It's very demeaning as a guy.

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    • @Bluemax yea I got your point^^
      thank you I ll check it :)

What Guys Said 19

  • Exactly , though i think if you're getting constantly friend zoned you need to take a look at yourself rather than just moving to the next one

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    • @pavlove , what do you think is the reason a guy could get constantly friendzoned, even by girls who have at least some common interests, are able to talk to well, and claim to enjoy his company?

    • @TheSkaFish i think by the way he approaches the situations and what he sub-communicates to the girl he's trying to "woo" as it were. yes, it's best not to be overly direct in certain situations, but i don't think it should ever be so much so that he's not making his attraction at least hinted at or teased a bit.

    • Yeah, I definitely messed up a few softball-tosses when it came to teasing a girl about my attraction to her. That was my fault. I had the bad luck of meeting girls I liked before I really understood how to tease sexually, in conversation. I accidentally gave off a prudish vibe. The thing is, it's true that I think modern society is overly sexualized. But at the same time I'm not Ned Flanders either. I'm not looking for a girl to date so we can sit on opposite ends of a couch and twiddle our thumbs.

      So I guess I have to keep an eye out for opportunities to tease. Problem is... the only girls I want are long gone. Guess I'd better get comfy!

  • Great take!! Lol loved it.

    In b4 gaggers discuss wolves lol

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  • Because I don't want to waste my time. Mind blown.

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  • My tip is, never be friends with a girl you're attracted to.

    If you develop feelings for a girl friend and they aren't reciprocated, it's best to move on without her.

    Friends aren't meant to be seen in a sexual way.

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  • I like being in the friend zone when there are benefits involved;)

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  • I don't really agree with this way of going about things.
    You can be friends with someone you're romantically interested in, even if they aren't romantically interested in you.

    You would seem like a bit of a dick if the moment someone rejected you you just said fuck it and abandoned them.

    I don't quite get what you mean by Prostituting your Feelings though. And I don't see how it's demening

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    • this guy gets it ^

      Men friend zone themselves by investing excessive time and energy in a friendship with a woman who doesn't seem to be romanticly interested in them at the outset.

      The alternative to this isn't never speaking to a woman again, the alternative is to remain friendly and still on her radar but you continue to date and pursue other women.

      I have gotten involved with guy friends who I had zero attraction to on first meeting them, but I came to find them attractive after I got to know them better. A key part of this, is these guy friends didn't behave like pseudo boyfriend doormats.

      They got on with their lives, went on dates with other women, but continued to chat with me every so often and hung out with me one on one only very occasionally.

      They'd also throw in ocasional flirty comments, which let me know that while they were happy with friends they would be interested in more.

  • I agree. For real!

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  • SO MUCH THIS. Women suck as friends anyway, if she isn't DTF just bounce. It's a numbers game, just keep mining and you'll strike gold.

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  • you control the free will of others.

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  • Das it mane. I see the predator women have already found their way here to call you an asshole for suggesting that men figure out what they want and never make a compromise (and I mean really, how dare you open people's eyes to their own self worth?). Good to see less beta male orbiters giving out man advice on here, now hopefully people actually read and consider what you've said.

    Men, listen to the OP; You don't owe a girl friendship if you personally don't want it. Sure, they'll feed you bullshit lines about how you're a player and how you don't care about them on a personal level, but that's all just shit test garbage.

    http://i.imgur.com/2W2cmtC.gif

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  • The problem is when there are actually not a lot of good women out there. There will always be a lot of plain Janes, but I don't want that to be my experience in my one life. I want someone I have passion for, not someone that makes a relationship feel like a shitty day job that you do just to pay bills. I want to beat my circumstances, I want to rip myself free of my old story. I don't want to be the kind of person who has to just slump his shoulders resign himself to taking what life gives him, fuck that shit - I want to be the kind of guy who gets the girl he wants. I absolutely hate the thought of limping through life having to settle for less with some plain Jane that makes me feel zero passion, or by myself. I want to enjoy my life fully.

    Problem is, I've been friendzoned, hard. I had the shit luck of meeting the best girls I'm going to meet way before I was ready. I have interests but never been confident or gone for much of anything because all my life I've never felt talented or gifted, I felt like I was stuck being average. I've been trying to find my mistake areas, but I don't know if fixing those mistakes are enough. What do you think I could do to maximize my chances of one of these girls realizing she was wrong to write me off as "just a friend", and come back?

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    • I met all the best girls before I was ready too. Sucks.

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    • @tyber1 I don't know if that will help. If they think I'm the same old guy I was, I think that would just make things worse. I need to start over with them and get them to see me as someone different and better than I was before. Damn, I'd almost sell my soul to never get friendzoned again.

    • It will help. They cannot read minds. Establish your motives quickly and some of them may see you in a new light. No guarantees but I promise you it will improve your odds.

  • Yeah I see your point. It's better to just walk away than stay there pretending to be into a situation you're not into. It's quite simple. The healthy thing is to be around people who have the same feelings towards you, whether is only friendship or romantically. The moment you're thinking of a person in other way, and the other doesn't sees you like that, you are at a loss.

    Not sure why some girls get pissed when you say this, since it can apply to women too. It's only logical.

    I've been there as well, and I I eventually realized why the hell am I allowing to have a delicious steak in front of me, where my hands are tied? You put yourself in the friend zone, not the girl. The girl indicated she was uninterested, what makes you think she wants you to pretend being a "friend", when she knows you're hot for her? They want you to walk away while she's thinking how to get the guy she wants. Do yourself a favor too and do it.

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  • When you get out of the friendzone, it's a tearful moment: i66.fastpic.ru/.../...7ba43d62dc564c896eebe1d7.jpg

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  • Fuck this friendzone shit. I just got friendzoned by this girl. Bout to cut ties real quick. Funny thing is i said the same to her before about me knowing how i feel about her already.

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  • Because when they friendzone you and say we'll still be great friends, they never contact you again and then find out they liked another guy for the 3 months you spent courting her and just strung you along the whole time. True story. The end.

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    • Bro I'm sad now lol.

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    • You're good man just read the last part I put.

      "Some of the most attractive people get friend zoned.. don't take it personal. Be a champ at taking rejection. Be willing to take the hits. We are all going to make it bros!"

    • Yeah its good im a calm guy, i kept my dignity, didn't tell her she's a bitch or whatever some guys do when rejected.

  • You are absolutely dead on about having a solid negotiating position in walking away firmly. You can't be like the Republican establishment and promise to never shut down the government. Boom, you just lost your leverage.

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  • I say, "I'm sorry you feel that way. Your loss, fuck off, have a nice life", walk off and never, ever speak to her again. She isn't worthy. Friends my ass !

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    • Good man. Words of wisdom here. What unit were you with devil dog?

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    • @cipher42 Whatever. I'm not changing.

    • Good. Just make sure to be as obvious about your overmasculinity in real life as you are here, saves us girls the trouble of having to find it out the hard way.

  • I see the point you are trying to make and it's decent. The second you said anything about "beta male behavior" or being friends is not respecting yourself I lost you. Women are people not these things you have to manipulate into liking you. If a girl doesn't like you but wants to be friends you can try. If she just uses you or you can't deal with liking her and always wish you were together then don't be friends. If you actually enjoy her company and want the best for her then it's perfectly ok to be friends. If you can't move when talking to her and you keep trying to get her to like you walk away. If she rejects you move on romantically. Look for a new person to date but remaining friends during that time is fine as long as you've moved on. Now if you are focusing on this girl and just being friends to sleep with her or get her to like you then you aren't really friends and you're probably an asshole. Respecting someone's choice but still enjoying their company shows maturity. It's not about getting the upper hand or "changing dynamic" it's about finding someone who want the same thing as you. The beta male comment set the tone.

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    • Beta and Alpha tendencies do exist whether you want to believe it or not. You are acting weak if you settle for less than what you want. You are prostituting your feelings. Once a romantic interest is communicated it doesn't just go away. Instead of lingering around in sorrow hoping she might choose you one day I choose to cut my losses and move onto a woman who appreciates my romantic interest. It's a lost cause to sit there and stay friends. What happens when she gets feelings for another guy and you are her friend. It's just detrimental in every way. I'll never be an emotional tampon for a woman that I once had feelings for. Because that is exactly what will happen. I've lived it man. I have a lot of experience in this.

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    • We are going to have to agree to disagree. You can't be friends with a women who rejects you romantically. It's not going to happen. You are a pussy if you stick around like that. You are settling for something that you don't want and you are not controlling the situation. You are missing the point of my take entirely. I think you are misinterpreting the definition of alpha and beta. Don't look at it as an absolute statement. There are only alpha and beta tendencies. Not one man is 100% alpha.

    • Ok agree to disagree

  • If you wanna dodge friendzone

    > message sloot that U wanna bang her

    > gratz.

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