Let me start by saying right off the bat that I am a high maintenance girl and I'm damn proud of it!
Before you roll your eyes and exit your browser, hear me out. I originally joined this site because surprise surprise, I was having boy issues. I had high hopes of finding answers because this site allows you to hear what guys and girls are really thinking.
Just plain, brutal honesty.
I did get some great insight and learned an important lesson along the way: guys apparently think I'm not approachable because I seem "a little too high maintenance", "too much work" or "too attractive". Um, yeahhhhhh, ok. While my ego would love to believe that the latter is true (cue inelegant snort), I was more interested in the former statement declaring that I was high maintenance. I decided to take the bull by the horns and find out exactly what guys mean by this and what this label really suggests as a whole. Here's what I found out:
1) Guys don't really know what it means either
Most guys differ on their opinion of what they consider high maintenance. Some users I've seen on here describe high maintenance girls as being too needy, acting insecure, or just showing that they're plain crazy. Urban dictionary defines it as "Requiring a lot of attention. When describing a person, high-maintenance usually means that the individual is emotionally needy or prone to over-dramatizing a situation to gain attention."
When asking the guys in my family, I received an even broader analysis. Words like "drama queen" and "unstable" were thrown out. Needless to say, there was no positive feedback and everyone had a different answer.
2) It Really Is a Type of Stereotyping
Many (not all though) women who are classified as high maintenance have no idea. A girl could be classified into this spectrum simply by the clothes she wears, not smiling, acting shy, or by her overall looks and perceived demeanor. In fact, most girls who are labeled as high maintenance are introverts who hide what they're feeling. This in turn could lead to awkward encounters where the girl is wrongly perceived as a snob because she listens more than she talks, or has the dreaded RBF, otherwise known as Resting Bitch Face. Oh, the horror! What guys and girls alike need to understand is that this labeling, especially without getting to know the person, harms more than it helps. Stop trying to put us in a box! JUST STOP!!!
3) Being Called High Maintenance Is a Compliment Whether you Admit it or Not
I'm not about to stand on a soapbox or get beind a pulpit and preach about this, but despite the fact that there are girls out there that may justly be called high maintenance in a negative light due to severe emotional or mental issues, or who just have no social or dating etiquette, the majority of girls who are categorized as HM are just HC: high class.
We have standards. We don't dress like sluts, we march to the beat of our own drum. We may not be a party animal, or an extrovert, or easy to read We're our own person.....we are individuals! We don't settle for just ordinary, we hold out for the best. I may get a lot of flack for this, but in my limited experience, guys are afraid of girls who fit the above criteria. They may move on to a girl that they view as easier, and not neccessarily in a sexual sense; they may move on to a girl that they think is more their speed and someone they can match in levels of intelligence, attractiveness, and disposition.
To summarize, I believe that high maintenance is part of a terminology that undermines and devalues women. Guys use it as a common excuse today to not approach a girl because they fear rejection or just aren't up to the challenge. It's not even a gender issue, because women are often guilty of the same on a different scale. Everyone's different, but we all want the same thing: to be treated the way we wanted to be treated. Judging someone superficially is not the way to do it.
High maintenance is just another way of saying high quality." -Pacey Witter
I'm shy and often can't speak in front of guys I like, I dress to impress, I only care what certain people think of me, I can be insecure, and I do like attention,as long as I'm not always the center of it.
But I'm also attractive, intelligent, funny, easygoing, and someday, I'm going to meet a guy who has the same standards I do.
So, yeah. I'm high maintenance. I'm a challenge, a diamond in the rough, if you will.
But I just might be worth more in the long run that what you consider "low maintenance".