I recently had a conversation with a guy about his dating habits, and his take on dating sparked my interest. As a girl, we are under the impression that going home with a guy before going on a date with him is simply unacceptable. Though he claimed he didn't sleep with girls on the first shack sesh, he said most guys today prefer a more casual intro before taking her out on a formal date.
Since I was completely taken aback by this theory, these are his reasons:
1.) They Met At A Bar
Whether you met by chance or scheduled a round of drinks after connecting on Hinge, most occasions of meeting someone of the opposite sex in your 20s take place at a bar. If chemistry sparks, cocktails may lead to late night, and next thing you know, you're pouring a night cap snuggled up on his couch.
2.) No More Awkward Convos
There's nothing worse than showing up for a blind dinner date and realizing you have absolutely nothing in common. Whether you're waiting for an exit strategy or chugging your wine hoping a buzz will break the silence, you've signed up for at least two hours with this person and finding a solution becomes the nightly mission.
3.) Cocktails Are Cheaper Than Filets
Let's face it, dating is expensive. Though it may be old-fashioned, girls expect the guy to pick up the check on the first date. If he's speed dating on Bumble looking for his next girlfriend, his bank account will feel the pain quicker than his heart. A round of happy hour cocktails does the trick for night one.
4.) You Know What You're Signing Up For
Instead of trying to read between the lines during a stuffy dinner date, you'll learn a lot more about what a girl is looking for if she comes home with you. Is she looking for a one-night fling or a relationship? Is she a virgin saving herself for marriage, or is she open to having fun and seeing where things go? Whether she shacks until monrning or stays for a night cap and calls an Uber home, getting an idea of what she's looking for helps you know where you stand with her.
5.) When The Clothes Come Off, The Truth Comes Out
Since most people are more vulnerable in intimate situations, the idea of "putting on a front" is less likely to happen. You can find out if sparks fly between the two of you, or if you're simply best as friends. Though it may seem shallow, why not go for the make out and see if you click?
6.) Lastly, Dates Are Special
Though the reasons above may seem like he's not interested in treating you like a lady, his theory is that dates ARE special. Why make a romantic gesture seem like a round of business interviews? Getting to know the person better before a date makes both people appreciate the evening more and feel comfortable around each other. Dating should be a special - not a draft.
Though many people may disagree with this theory, in a sense, I think he has a good point. Since most of us are meeting at bars or via dating apps, why turn a casual intro into an awkward, formal affair? Though I disagree that going home with him on the first night is a good idea, I believe that keeping things casual will allow for things to progress naturally, rather than feeling forced.
Guys - What's your take on this method?
Girls - Would you be offended if a guy tried this approach with you?
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