I Cheated On My Boyfriend And Got Away With It

I Cheated On My Boyfriend And Got Away With It

Cheating. Whether you were the cheater or the unlucky one who was cheated on, most of us have experienced a relationship that has unfortunately involved cheating.

In a recent poll on GirlsAskGuys.com, a website where guys and girls come together to share questions and advice on the opposite sex, almost 50% of guys and girls admitted they were cheated on by their partners. Reasons such as alcohol, temptation, and loneliness scored highest amongst why their partners cheated, but despite the excuses, is cheating ever acceptable in a relationship?

I am not proud to admit it, but I am guilty of cheating on my boyfriend. Though I’m an extremely honest, caring, and compassionate person, I realized cheating isn’t always a malicious act, but instead a fleeting moment of weakness and temptation.

It all began when I was a senior in high school, and I somehow landed my ultimate dream guy – the captain of the football team, Matt. With deep, mysterious eyes, long dark hair, and dashing good looks that made even the teachers swoon, everyday was a moment of bliss with him. I never doubted that I was undeniably and madly in love with him.

Matt was my first real love. We spent every moment of every day hand-in-hand, exchanging love notes, and planning our futures together. We were set to head to college together the next year, and we had no doubts that marriage would follow after school. Though some would call it young love, the love we shared was real and nothing has ever compared to it.

When Spring Break rolled around my senior year, I headed to Mexico with my best girlfriend and our families. Our girls’ getaway was abruptly interrupted when I met Oliver. It was as if time was standing still when he walked up to me. I had never felt butterflies like I did when I met Matt, until this moment. His French accent, classic style, handsome looks, and charming personality instant won me over – and that’s when I fell for him.

Sure, I knew spending the week with Oliver wasn’t the best idea, but I believed as long as nothing physical happened, everything would be ok. We spent every moment of the trip together, from sunrise to midnight, sharing stories, making memories, and falling head over heels for each other. We grew closer and closer as the week went on, where holding hands turned into soft kisses, and eventually passion took over on the last night and that’s when I gave in. It was a night I will never forget.

As with any amazing vacation, eventually it had to end. As I said my goodbyes to Oliver hoping we’d see each other again in the future, reality kicked in and I realized what I had done. I had cheated on my boyfriend, and somehow didn’t feel guilty about it until it was over.

This was the first time in my life I had been faced with temptation that was beyond my control. I still don’t know if it was the vacation whirlwind, the weeklong blur of tropical cocktails, my insecurities giving into the attention, or if I genuinely was falling for Oliver. What I did know, however, was the pain and confusion that I was left with was something I never wanted to experience again.

When reality set in, so did the pain. The pain of understanding how I could have mindlessly cheated on my boyfriend I loved so dearly. The pain of wondering if I should tell him, or simply act as if it never happened. The pain of the secret eating at me with every sweet gesture Matt made towards me. The worst pain of all, however, was the pain of the heartbreak of never seeing Oliver again.

I ended up dating Matt for five years after my vacation romance, and I never confessed to my cheating. Some may think I got away with what I did, but I became the worst critic of my behavior. I never stopped feeling guilty when he said I love you, nor did I ever forget the feeling of what it was like to be with someone else. I realized no matter how much I loved him, the possibility of feeling that same love for someone else was also possible. Though I never regretted that week, I regretted giving into my urges without considering the outcome.

I learned that cheating is a sign of weakness. Temptation surrounds us everyday, but learning to avoid it is the struggle we all have to face. It’s easy to get caught up in the moment and believe our actions won’t have any repercussions, but this reckless behavior generally causes more harm than pleasure. One week of bliss for me could have caused heartbreak for the one I loved the most, and that’s one risk I never took again.

I think it’s important to live our lives without regrets, but rather to learn from our mistakes to prevent repeating the past in the future. Though I never cheated again, I dated numerous guys throughout the years who cheated on me – perhaps it was karma. Whether I found out through mutual friends, social media, or texts on his phone, no one I ever dated had the courage to tell me the truth. It always made me wonder, did hiding the truth from my boyfriend make me a coward? Or did I spare him the pain and learn from my mistakes? Either way, the pain of what I did was enough to prevent me from ever cheating again.


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What Guys Said 92

  • I appreciated most of what you said, except for one sentence. "This was the first time in my life I had been faced with temptation that was beyond my control." Temptation is not beyond our control; the best way to deal with temptation is to avoid it.

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    • I must say you are totally right...

    • Yes, I agree, too. There is NEVER an excuse for infidelity. This lady allowed her guy to live a lie for 5 more years. Unforgivable. You were unable to resist becoming a thief because YOU, and YOU alone, walked into the Thieves' Kitchen.

    • @dogbert444 I have never heard the thieves' kitchen metaphor. I am a fan of colorful speech and will work that into my vocabulary.

  • ' cheating isn't always a malicious act but a fleeting moment of vulnerability and weakness '

    women often suffer from this delusion that they are not responsible and that they just 'lost control' in ' the moment'. Realistically though, you knew exactly what you were doing.

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  • But you know what they say
    http://data.whicdn.com/images/63850708/large.jpg
    No offense. I don't know with what confidence you can say you got away. You still have your life ahead of you. Thanks for sharing though.

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  • I really hate these anonymous users.

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    • Sometimes i question myself whether the anonymous function on GaG is actually helpfull or just some tool for jerks/bitches to use at will.

  • I'm certainly not going to give you a pass, but you were a teen when you did this. Teens don't know what or who they really want and don't know anything about relationships, so what you did is bad but could be a hell of a lot worse if you were older and married.

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  • TLDR; whats the short version?

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  • "Though I’m an extremely honest, caring, and compassionate person"
    media.giphy.com/media/O5NyCibf93upy/giphy.gif

    "but instead a fleeting moment of weakness and temptation."
    Stealing an old lady's bag isn't always a malicious act. It's just a fleeting moment when your finger can't control themselves.
    None the less that's not an excuse.

    "temptation that was beyond my control"
    upload.wikimedia.org/.../...en_Facepalm_statue.jpg
    The most lamest excuse ever. There is no such thing as temptation beyond our control. Either you're a good person and you DO have the willpower or you DON'T.

    "I could have mindlessly cheated "
    None of it was mindless. It was a conscious decision from start to end.

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    • I hate this culture people have of never accepting responsibility for their actions or living with the consequences.

  • I agree with @Prof_Don no sympathy, no excuses what you did was wrong and I hope you learn from it and never do it again.

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  • #NoSympathy #NoExcuses

    No amount of eloquent writing will erase your title of cheater, not gain u sympathy.

    Hopefully u learned from this, temptation must be nipped in the bud, nobody can make you do anything intimacy wise (unless u were raped, which would be a completely different story).

    17|26
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    • No amount of eloquent writing will erase your title of cheater, not gain u sympathy.

      so I feel the same
      bitches will be bitches
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y-nQN-RRT6c

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    • @BambooforPanda NOT TRUE. I am absolutely NOT more attracted to woman if she already has boyfriend and ESPECIALLY not attracted to her if she is married. I might feel envy towards her bf/husband. However if he is a good guy... a part of me is happy for them. Men are absolutely NOT attracted to taken women at the same rate as women are attracted to taken men.

    • @sdistotallyme you're totally welcome to think that, and I never insisted that you personally were going to try to sleep with a woman in a relationship, so I don't get why you're so offended. I know that I've gotten more attention from guys since I started dating. I know I've seen it happen to other women. That's just how it works. If a man or woman is already getting attention from someone, ie a boyfriend/girlfriend, they look more desirable because someone is desiring them. This isn't something that only affects one sex.

  • Whether this is true or not, I felt like the whole story was "you" portraying yourself as an innocent and nice person, trying to convince us that you're not a shitty person, which you are.

    Oh boy, another good person humiliated by scum...

    But this doesn't sound like a real experience, more like a story, which I hope it is, and I hope others don't take notes and never cheat thinking they'll get away with it.

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  • It's crazy how common it is for people to cheat on vacation away from their partner. I've heard of this happening more than I'd like to admit..

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    • Thats soooo true cause it is an ideal cheat and move on situation. Also it reinvigorates some people's relationships which is ironic and crazy at the same time. LOL

    • @nymous1234 yeah it is pretty sad and crazy..

  • 2mo

    Treacherous whore

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  • Fuck you, stupid bitch. If I was Matt, I would've beaten you senseless.

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  • I am going to be very honest in my reply.

    You may have got away with it once, but that doesn't mean you can get away with this again and again. The reason you got away once was because your boyfriend complete trust in you. As you rightly said, the karma does come back to you, what you do with one person, someday else will do the same thing with you in return.

    Cheating is not a mistake, it's a choice, it's a decision that you made, you knew what you were doing.

    You cheated on your boyfriend and in return of karma, you got to date with those guys who eventually cheated on you. Yes it was totally wrong of you to hide the truth from your boyfriend, you should have confessed the truth to him, so yes it does make you a coward. Of course had you confessed to him, he would have surely broken up with you then and there, so may be that fear of him breaking up was what made you not to tell him the truth.

    Whatever it is, what is good is you have learnt from your mistake.

    However it's good that you have realized your mistake and never repeated it. I really don't understand why people cheat? How people can be so mentally weak to give into temptations? how can a person while being in a relationship fall for someone else so easily?

    It's really sad and unfortunate that these things happen. I don't understand how people can give into their emotions so easily, despite knowing what they are doing, or what they are going to do is wrong.

    Emotions and feelings are very strange, weird and also tricky indeed, many times they will make you do those things that you don't want to do.

    That's all from me.

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  • And you just exposed yourself as another woman who is unsuitable for any type of long term relationship. You couldn't resist the temptation. Yeah thats what all cheating whores say. I was in a long distance relationship and had plenty of interaction of other single girls. I never cheated on my girlfriend and there is no way I would do it, may it be with the best girl in this planet. And of course as a ''thank you'' that whore cheated on me. Fuck and leave. Thats what you all want.

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  • If even the captain of the football team can be cheated on, anyone can!

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  • You spared him the pain, good. I hate the way you phrased your title though, almost like you relished it. Anyways good on you for doing something stupid and actually feeling something for another dude while acknowledging it and still fucking him... yeah i don't think you give a flying fuck about others. Perhaps its best to not date for awhile so you don't screw anyone else over and re-evaluate your life choices.
    -OG out

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  • did he go down on you after this? poor fella

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  • LOL I'm glad you actually understand what ou did was wrong but I gotta say: SHAME ON YOU :)

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What Girls Said 42

  • You repulse me.

    Fair enough everyone makes mistakes, but cheating is a choice. A choice you wouldn't make if you really loved him.

    I do hope you learned from your mistakes and at the very least be a human being and tell him.

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  • Dang these GAG users went in on you! I'm not even going to attack you or wish you harm like others. I still don't feel like you learned the severity of this act based on your later comment about Oliver. What you had for Oliver was lust, not love. You loved your boyfriend but you weren't in love with him.

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  • Lol you're a great writer. Next time use Wattpad.

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  • I've never cheated but I have been cheated on, and it does hurt. Sometimes I wish I hadn't known about it but then I realize that I'm better off because I am no longer in that relationship.

    I don't believe that cheating is ever justified. It's a choice that people make. I do believe that people can feel legitimate remorse and guilt for cheating, but I don't believe it's accurate to claim that it happens in a moment of weakness or temptation simply because that makes it sound like an accident. Everyone always has the choice to say "no" and to stay faithful to their partner.

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    • I hate when people say it was an accident.
      Like, oh, did he slip and fall into your vagina?
      No? Then it wasn't an accident.
      It was most certainly a choice. It doesn't just accidentally happen!

      Frustrates me like no tomorrow! :P

  • You were young and stupid. No sense still feeling bad about it now. I can see why people here are accusing you of making excuses though. Sounds like you've learned from it though and what matters is how you respect your commitments going forward.

    I accidentally cheated once and felt bad about it for a long time. Eventually I realized it was a mistake and I learned from it and it was time to let myself off the hook.

    In my case what had happened was that it was my very first boyfriend ever. I was 18 and going off to college. We met over the summer and we're seeing each other for a few weeks and made it official the week before I went to college. First weekend there I went out drinking with a bunch of people from my floor and got right tanked. Ended up totally forgetting that I had a boyfriend (not something I was used to..) And went home with a dude. Woke up the next morning hungover and found my way home. Told my roommate what had happened and she was like "uhhhh did you tell me you had a boyfriend?" And I was like "oh shit! I do! Fuck! I totally forgot!!! I'm an asshole!" And then we laughed about it and I realized this was really not the time to start my first relationship. When he called me the next day I broke up with him, simply saying it wasn't the right time and I wanted to just do my own thing. He understood and that was that.

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    • There's no such thing as 'accidentally cheating'.

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    • I learned that committing to someone that you barely know when you're rarely gonna see them and don't really want a relationship is a dumb idea. Haven't done that since.

    • "when you first start dating someone new you don't love them."

      Yes, I know and agree. That's why I never use the term "relationship" until the words "I love you have come from both our mouths. I would never have said I was in a relationship under the circumstances you described. I should have used the words "be in a committed relationship" instead of "get involved"

      I am not sure I would use the words "dumb" and "stupid " in these circumstances the way you have done.

      Did you ever tell the guy?

  • *writes a take about cheating in hopes of ridding my guilt and feeling better about myself*

    *waits only to receive saracstic comments and the truth that cheating still isn't justified*

    media.giphy.com/media/EjzJxwcqpO2ly/giphy.gif

    On a seriously note, you do you. If this is what it takes for you to not feel guilty about cheating then so be it. But guilt and regret are things we naturally feel for a reason. "A fleeting moment of temptation" doesn't make it any less of a wrong. Just learn from your mistakes.

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  • Awww...poor you.

    Not.

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  • So... basically you're a terrible human being.

    Good for you.

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  • how did you not realize it until the end?
    and how did your parents and friend just turn a blind eye for the entire week?

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  • 2mo

    You talk about how you are a compassionate person, but you aren't. If you were, you wouldn't have cheated on someone you apparently 'loved' and who loved you back. You won't even accept that it's your fault. You said it was beyond your control when it wasn't. You deserve to be single for the rest of your life. I don't care if you were only 17. You were old enough to know right from wrong at that age. Teens aren't stupid, they know it's wrong. So I think it's insulting to teenagers when you try to justify your age. If you ever do get in a relationship again, I hope you are cheated on and you catch him in the act.

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  • You are not unique or even special! How often do you hear about woman going away on holidays, only to cheat on their boyfriend. It demonstrates a lack of respect for you, for your boyfriend, and for the new boy. you didn't learn anything from this situation, except it may YOU feel bad for a while.

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  • As someone who has been cheated on multiple times and having never cheated on anyone in my life and never will... I send a mental "fuck you" to you and this eloquently written excuse for your cheating being ok. It's not , it is literally the worst possible pain you could put someone through and how dare you try and justify your actions as they are not and never will be justifiable.

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  • You're a whore and hopefully karma brings you a situation where you're sucking some other female's pussy juices off of your man's penis under the impression that he's loyal to you.

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  • Beyond your control my ass... everything we do is a choice

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  • You fucked up tell your boyfriend you Dont deserve him

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  • The horribleness of your act wasn't done when you were in this other guy's arms and you "gave in", it was when you first started flirting and developing intimacy with another man while taken, and were somehow ok with it. Gross.

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  • how does it feel like being a whore?

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  • This is a textbook case of the narcissist's justification rationale in such a situation. Did you get this from a psychology journal? It's so technical and scientifically accurate. It's uncanny! If you aren't pulling our chain with this story I suggest you get a diagnosis.

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  • I Cheated On My Boyfriend And Got Away With It
    Kudos to you in my opinion however I find as a gal you're going to get blasted far far far more than a guy would. Guys seem to be held way less accountable and responsible for cheating if anything the gal is blamed either for not putting out, not putting out enough, or not doing what the guy wanted sexually. Somehow someway the girlfriend is at fault for the guy cheating on her usually with a tag along of this being 'evidence' that gals like a-holes instead of nice guys.

    However when it comes to gals it seems gals do not get that 'excuse' as the image seems to be the guy is always ever willing so the gal is just a slut for cheating.

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    • You serious. Guys get destroyed and it comes across as worse because the girl becomes an emotional wreck. But for girls a few Tears and shess treated less harshly

  • At least no one got any stds.

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