Why Being A Good Looking Guy Isn't Really That Much Of A Benefit

Why being a good looking guy isn't really that much of a benefit

So before you scroll down to the comments calling me crazy...read what I have to say, and then call me crazy.

You are probably thinking to yourself, "Good looking people have it so good" and your probably saying "If I were good looking I'd be so much better off then I am now", and for girls this is more true then guys. Sorry girls but guys still prefer good looking girls, for guys though it really doesn't matter if your good looking or not and I'm here to tell you why:

1: Look around at every girl on the internet, they all say the same thing "Personality! Personality! Personality!" With women thats what they want(of course when you ask them to elaborate on the type of personality they can't, but thats a completely different story), they place more emphasis on personality then looks. Of course subconsciously most are still more inclined to like an attractive guy, than an ugly guy, but if the guy is average looking and has that personality then he could basically get any girl. I have yet to meet a girl with high looks standards, almost all will lower their standards for looks if the guy acts a certain way. So what does this mean if your a good looking guy without that "personality"....well I can tell you from first hand experience you dont get much interest(except from sluts which I will address towards the bottom).

2: Being good looking actually hinders your ability to do some things. For instance, asking a girl out. If your an ugly guy and you know your ugly then you can ask girls out without much care. For instance, an ugly guy could ask out a really good looking girl and be like "well I dont really have much to lose, cause I'm ugly, but I got a ton to gain if she says yes". As an attractive guy though, if you want to go ask out a girl, unless you want to be judged by your friends and family(and trust me they judge hard), you need to ask out a girl at least your level of attractiveness. If you date down then people will be like "why is such a good looking guy like that dating such a hideous girl". Whats worse is that people look at you as wasting your potential, and when you are told this stuff constantly it messes up your relationship with your girl, it makes you feel like you should be doing better, and it really doesn't help at all.

3: Being attractive, there are a lot of stereotypes attached to us. An attractive guy for instance rarely gets approached for a relationship, in fact I've never had a girl approach(or even express interest in) me with the intent of getting into a serious relationship. I asked several of my girl friends for advice as to why I never had girls showing interest, and why I never had a girlfriend, and they all responded the same way "What?!?!?! You've never had a girlfriend? You are so good looking, we thought girls were all over you"....this is precisely the issue, being so good looking, girls just assume you are taken, and assume you have plenty of girls and so dont show interest in you(again the exception being slutty girls). Other then this, I've had a few girls assume I was a jerk or assume I was a player because I am a good looking guy, which is definitely not the case.

4: With women it really only matters what you look like if you ask her out. Women NEVER approach guys, attractiveness doesn't make a difference and so if you are uber shy and reserved, even if your the best looking guy in the world there is almost no chance you will get a girlfriend. If you are funny and outgoing you are probably more likely to get approached then being attractive and shy. Why? Because being attractive really isn't that desireable of a trait anymore. Girls dont care about it as much as a funny guy, or a guy with that ideal personality. So looks really won't get you far.

Now, as I've hinted at, there is one place where being attractive gets you far. In the bar/club/party scene when you are looking for a one night stand. I cannot tell you how many slutty girls have approached me at parties trying to have sex, probably at least a dozen over my college career up to this point. When you are a guy like me, who is only interested in long term relationships though you dont give a crap about one night stands, like at all. In the realm of long term relationships being attractive is about as useful as having a third testicle. As an attractive guy(between an 8 and 9 out of 10 according to most girls), I can tell you that I still am not successful with women. I've never had a girlfriend, never been in a serious relationship, dont have many girls interested in me(other then for sex) and dont have much success in the social scene. Is it my looks to blame? No it isn't because I know I'm good looking, so then what is the problem? Well I dont have that ideal personality, I am too shy to ask out girls, and I suffer from the very thing that most people think benefits me, my looks. I'd trade in my good looks for that ideal personality and funny sense of humor any day of the week because women dont really care about looks in long term relationships. For guys, good looks just aren't that great unless you also have that ideal personality, are willing to ask women out, and have a good sense of humor, then you will really succeed with women.


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What Girls Said 16

  • I am shocked that you as an attractive man (so you claim) , would write this. I honestly expected this to be written by an unattractive man based on his own experiences.
    It's interesting that you wrote this and can see on the other side of the fence instead of condemning those who are less attractive than yourself.
    This means you are probably humble and not judgmental.
    I agree with you on the attractive men hardly ever getting approached.
    Sure , they are great to look at but I personally find it way easier to talk to someone average or unattractive looking.
    You don't feel nearly as nervous when you talk to someone you find physically attractive .

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    • I mean really now, how does your genes affect your personality. A person can be humble and look Adonis like.

    • Here's the experience of a very good looking guy, and I was a professional swimmer for many years (wide shoulders, lean/ athletic build, 6'1"): most people just act extremely weird around you. If you are naturally shy, like I am, it can be very hard.

      You will get a VERY SMALL number of very good looking females acting friendly towards you, the rest will be very bitchy towards you, something like 'oh, he thinks he's all that, let me teach him a lesson'. You can be as humble as you want, you don't even get the chance to open your mouth. A lot of women don't even make eye contact. The problem is, if you're also shy, you are also going to have difficulty talking to the very few (albeit hot) women that hit on you. A lot of males will also be downright confrontational, or be passive aggressive to say the least. They act as they feel somehow threatened and will avoid you.

  • I could write the same article with reasons why it's not that much of a benefit to be a good looking female. It doesn't change the fact that, at the end of the day, being more attractive does open doors at least up to a point.

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  • Oh poor you for being attractive! 😂 Maybe we need to start a sponsorship program for beautiful people, like they do to children staving children in third world countries. Oh wait.. They have REAL problems... You are a joke. Get over yourself!

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  • 1: Look around at every girl on the internet, they all say the same thing "Personality! Personality! Personality!" With women thats what they want (of course when you ask them to elaborate on the type of personality they can't)
    My opinion on this: First of all, you're wrong that women can't elaborate on what type of personality they want. I can tell you right now that I am not attracted to a guy who is shy (I am very outgoing, so I instantly feel awkward if I'm trying to have a conversation with someone who isn't engaging), I am bored with people who are not expressive (goes along with how I need someone to engage me with body language, sense of excitement in his tone of voice, and facial expressions), he has to have two types of humor: classy sarcasm is type 1 and random silly humor is type 2, he has to be clever and crafty, he has to be kind, he has to be able to have intellectual conversation, has to have emotional intelligence, and he has to be very thoughtful with a dirty side. So yeah, you're wrong. some girls know exactly what they want.

    "I have yet to meet a girl with high looks standards, almost all will lower their standards for looks if the guy acts a certain way. So what does this mean if your a good looking guy without that "personality"... well I can tell you from first hand experience you dont get much interest"
    LOL um... you basically informed everyone that you don't have a personality. I'm not exactly sure what that means to you, but in my head it means there's nothing about you that stands out about the way you behave or talk... I'm picturing a lifeless hot person. Also, my other issue with this is WHY ARE YOU COMPLAINING THAT A GIRL WOULD PREFER A GUY WITH A PERSONALITY? This is a GOOD thing! We are REALISTIC! We don't expect men to look like Abercrombie models, be completely ripped, or look like famous actors! Want to know a secret? A lot of girls don't truly think "cookie cutter hot" guys are attractive anyway... I'm one of them. I still don't understand why, but don't. BUT- I do have my own physical features that I'm attracted to and I strongly prefer to be with a guy who has those features. I like what I like and physical attraction is VERY important to me, but it has to be paired with the personality previously described. So again, you're wrong. Girls do want to be with a guy they find attractive.

    2: Being good looking actually hinders your ability to do some things.

    My opinion will be continued in another comment

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    • (Continued: my opinion of #2)
      I'm sorry, I'm not trying to be rude, but this whole section is complete garbage. To my knowledge, guys who truly think they are ugly are *usually* too embarrassed to approach a "hot" girl... I highly doubt they think "I have nothing to lose, so I'm going to try to land this total babe." What's funny is: some guys who think they are ugly are not ugly at all!!! They are just not what the media portrays to be attractive. I remember one time a guy who looked exactly like Chris Pratt was talking to me because we had a project to work on together. Months after the project, he texted me saying, "You know, I wish I would have asked you out. I just thought you were out of my league." I was SHOCKED! I'm not disgusting looking, but I wouldn't say that I'm "out of his league."
      The point: Some guys who think "man, she's out of my league" are completely incorrect and your logic behind uglies having "nothing to lose" is just plain bogus... and in #2 you also

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    • @steven7890789 high five for you. Yes. You understand.

  • Ok. ok... women care about looks to an extent. women today can care about looks more and they are starting to. And good looking men get asked out by women, We will only risk rejection for men we find attractive.

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  • They look good but i think they are a closet gay

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  • Most girls do not approach guys and it doesn't matter if they are good looking are not. You need to approach girls and ignore what people think

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  • Oh PLEASE

    I was reading about sugar babies and how they finish school with no debt because they're basically paid to be eye candy.

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    • Yea but that's girls...

      Looks do matter to them...

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    • @HikerDude I actually know two men that got hooked up real well by their sugar mommas, as one got a car, and the other guy, he got rent paid for over a year, plus some nice items. It is definitely way less common than an older man payin out the ass for a younger woman, but not unheard of

    • @MetalMan216 It's pretty much unheard of, insomuch as it doesn't actually happen.

  • I'm crying on the inside

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  • sure

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  • I think it's a benefit when YOU approach the girls, not the other way around.

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  • I only am attracted to attractive men... soooo...

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    • And the irony is you're probably not even attractive yourself.

    • @BangBadBxtches Hahaha I totally am lol I'm a signed agency fitness model.

  • A girl can say the same thing, guys objectify her and can't focus on her other qualities. Good guys are intermediated and players chase her for ego boost. and she ended up being in bad relationship one after one and it's not her fault

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    • Girls end up in bad relationships because they would prefer to date a douche than a nice guy.

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    • @skeptic007 no they just like the drama and excitement from badboys

    • Keep telling yourself

  • Its not easy being ugly. Its not easy being hansome. Its not easy being fat. Its not easy being skinny. Its not easy being black. Its not easy being white (well, maybe yeah to that one). Lets all just agree that life is not easy.

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  • Girls may say they prefer personality but I can tell you it isn't true at all. Most girls under the age of 25 still go for looks and/or status. We are in general just as shallow as guys are. From my experience, good looking people of both genders have it better than their less attractive counterparts.

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    • +1 for honesty

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    • @Touglyforfemales I meant that cute is less attractive then hot. So I basically meant that a girl will pick a (cute but less attractive) guy with a good personality rather then a guy who's more physically attractive but has nothing else going for him...

    • @GirlyGal20 Why not date Mr Potato Head then lol.

  • Sounds tragic. Waaaaa

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What Guys Said 32

  • #1. They lie. They don't want to be judged. And almost every person on the planet prefers personality, ultimately.

    #2. What do you have to lose as an attractive guy? Were you born with more reputation than others just because you're better looking?

    #3. That's a fact that women are more attracted to the guys who are surrounded by girls. You're wrong.

    #4. This is the real reason. THIS!

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  • I disagree. The problem with you is that you're shy, and no girl wants a shy guy, it doesn't matter if you're attractive or not.
    Looks won't get you everywhere, and this applies to being funny, confident, ambitious... there's a number or attributes you need for a girl to want you, and attractiveness is one of the top requirements.
    Being attractive will allow you to get away with some flaws that unattractive people won't get away with, that's true.

    And like a girl said, young girls want an attractive guy, that's what they generally go for, and if he comes with other good qualities, then bingo, but if he doesn't, oh well, at least he's hot.
    You don't need to go to a bar/club to find these girls.

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  • I wasn't going to break this one down, but I feel I have to.

    1. Personality matters for anybody. So does appearance. I never understood why people don't understand that both matter. How much one or the other matters to people really isn't the point. The point is they both matter and if a girl wants to date you more than likely you not only have a personality she likes but you also look at least decent to her.

    Decent to her? What's that mean? Meaning from her perspective. Meaning to HER you're decent. To another girl you may be hot and to another you may be ugly. Now I know there are some universal stuff to consider. I know some people are seen as universally decent, hot, or ugly but it still doesn't change the fact that we all have our likes and dislikes. So chances are you have enough of a combination of personality and appearance that is acceptable to her.

    2. Actually I think that has to do with the first point.. personality. Do I think I'm sexy? You damn right I do. I think I'm sexy AF, but I'm a quiet shy person naturally. I think there are plenty of what you'd deem good looking guys who talk to females with confidence because they are confident guys naturally. You mention level of attractiveness. I guess it doesn't apply to me so much since I'm not out looking for a monogamous relationship, so there's really no need to show my family anyone I'm with. Still it's my choice and not theirs. They'll understand that and if they don't I don't care. Can outside forces bring down a relationship? Sure, but there will always be something that family complain about. Often times some of my family complain about not having a girlfriend. I don't care. I still do what I want. Also, like I mentioned before attractiveness is very subjective. Another thing if the woman I'm with is universally ugly then would she not already know that? Wouldn't throughout her life she'd already know that? So why should being with me be any different than what she's experienced before?

    3. Really? I've been asked out by two or three different girls, and I've had countless be interested in me. I've never had a girlfriend, but I've never wanted one either. I'm a casual person. Maybe if you are into monogamy and you are universally attractive the girls you attract are just into casual stuff, but like I told someone else at least you are getting girls.

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    • Then you say girls assume you're taken. Well you already answered your own argument with that. You said girls rarely ask out the guy right? So if you don't approach then yeah maybe they do assume you're taken already. As far as interest I have a hard time believing that if you are attractive you don't get girls interested.

      Also, "slutty girls" are probably more open than your everyday female. Doesn't matter what you look like in that regard.

      4. This is foolish. Like I told you I was asked out at least twice, but really three times. Now two of those times might or might not have became monogamous relationships but one was legit a monogamous approach. By the way.. did I mention I'm shy and reserved? Why is it that people think you have to be outgoing to be wanted? You don't. You don't even have to be outgoing to approach. I've approached girls before. In fact all the girls I've had sex with I've approached first.

    • It's not to say girls don't like funny guys. A lot do. However, again everybody has their own likes and dislikes. There are plenty of girls who wish some of those outgoing guys would shut the hell up. There are plenty of girls who hate hearing a guy's corny jokes.

      I understand your pain though. Don't get me wrong. At times I've felt just like you bro. Just like you. Sometimes I wish I was funny too, but I'm not and you know what? I'm happy with who I am. Let the funny guys have the girls who like funny guys. The females who are into shy, quiet, guys are out there too. They are. It's just the funny guy scene makes the most noise when it comes to monogamy.

      Besides being quiet and shy has its advantages. For one thing you can slip around and get girls out from other people's noses. Why? Because people don't notice you. Another thing that's really hot (especially in today's times) is mystery. Who's more mysterious? A outgoing guy or shy, quiet, one?

  • Great take.
    Thanks for taking the time.
    Totally agree, I'm no 8 or 10, but I'm tall and have few physical atrocities.
    I think good looks do matter if you approach, but as shy guys, you're right. Not exactly a plus. There is one place I will say it gives an advantage that you didn't list.
    In the workplace. Good looking people get more opportunity, and better pay.

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  • thing is, it's hard to judge yourself as attractive. you think you are until you realise not everyone shares your perception of yourself. maybe those people think your ego needs knocking, perhaps they are just in a vocal minority, who knows? but either way it's very difficult to be objective about this: even on sites like this, people come online and often say nice things (surprisingly! because I expected the opposite) just to make you feel good.

    in any case, I identify as someone above average attractiveness and can relate to the points you make: contrary to societal wisdom, it's NOT always the best looking guy that get's all the girls. in fact, it's something else entirely.

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  • I've been told that I'm attractive. I do gym and bench 120% my body weight. Cut like a sonovabitch. And yes, I don't get many women. Personality trumps looks eventhough looks do count to a degree. More women go for my drug addicted, chubby, friend who lives with his parents, than 6 pack me who is a business manager. Go figure.

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    • Girls love badboy druggies lol

    • @thisdudejimmy I know right! Trumps physical looks. That's what I'm saying. It's like maybe I should start doing more fucked up shit to attract women because then I'm "exciting" lol

    • Nah man just be yourself. I love cannabis and motorcycles & coffee :)

  • Being athletic at least gives a guy who has given up on empty emotionally disconnected sex (ONS) a place where he can use all of that sexual frustration and testosterone - the gym, ju jitsu climbing, the b-ball court, running, etc

    At least there is that, and if one finds the ambition to channel the aimless energy and time a single man seems to have in his late twenties, he could learn new skills and arts, languages, archery, musical instruments, etc.

    Waiting to become a commodity, ironically you began to stop caring. Almost as if being jaded or apathetic comes off as emotionally stable and attractive and chill to those younger women 21-28 looking for 35-40 year old men.

    And they say they aren't shallow, its kind of circularly infinitely complex world out there. Damned if you do and damned if you don't, so just do the best you can and try to do what is right no matter what anyone else is doing. That's the way I see it.

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  • I disagree being good looking helps so much. I mean girls will come to you. You will have a lot of options. Just way better. If they don't like your personality so what.. There is another row of girls wanting to chat with you.

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  • What city do you live in where the girls are looking for sex at bars/clubs? I want to move there 😓

    I just stick with prostitutes for now.

    I've never been asked out or approached by any girl yet most guys on GAG have been asked out many times, I think how does that happen?

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  • I agree it is an advantage for sure but not the kinda world winning advantage people think..
    My friend keeps telling me how hot I look
    3-4 girls (one who looks really hot) have said how cute I look.
    I only had one fat girl proposed to me in 9th grade and as OP said I didn't accept to maintain a standard as I was skinny and that would look weird (she was nice)
    i am 18(I look better now) I have never had a girlfriend nothing all I get is glances and eyes that are inducing a social anxiety in me!

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  • You know what's difficult? Being the friend of an attractive guy. LOL. The girls always ask, "How so and so?" I'm like, "Hi, nice to see you too, how's your day? Yeah, he's alright." :D :D :D

    Seriously, though, good take on how it is on the other side of the fence.

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  • I m good looking and this benifits women.

    people think ur ok when ur not, people sometimes get intimidated to tell u what u need to here...

    With women, she can get a life for being good looking. Men still gotta make money and aren't exempt from the life pains and struggles while women are.

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  • Since losing 40 lbs and getting that 6 pack I've been dreaming about i have not been in a relationship. I've been used for sex but i can't date a girl for longer than a few weeks. I am dating more attractive girls but i can't lock down a relationship

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    • I have but then they cheat as soon as they get the opportunity to

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    • Thank you man. I'd buy you a beer and chill and talk shit but i can't lol. Thanks for the advice. I will try my best recovering i can

    • @thisdudejimmy haha I abide by the 6 month fuck buddy rule too.

  • Dude I wonder if you show a certain vibe or something. Even most good looking guys get approached a good amount of times, even by women that are not slutty.

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  • LOL, let's be real, you're probably ugly.

    Because I'm handsome as hell and none of these things apply to me ROFL.

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    • You're forty fucking eight years old, you're probably ugly. And who the hell says "rofl" anymore

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    • @L_aauurraa Have you seen Johnny Depp? Norman Reedus? Look up their ages and tell me what they all have in common.

    • My comment was in reference to
      Thekawaiikiwi "It's okay to be mad. That's what ugly people do. I'll just be here being handsome without a care in the world. ROFL @ you"
      LMFAO LMFAO

      ROFL @ you.

  • Good stuff, but, plenty of girls actually do approach tho.

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  • Okay but what if that guy was broke and lived with his mom...

    From what I think I know, women look to more of a provider and protector... Not just personality, either...

    And what if that guy is dumb as a rock? That's not gonna help any girl out, either...

    Maybe if their kids are starving, he can take some nice modeling shots to feed them...

    And yes, a girls looks do matter, obviously...

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  • None of my great qualities have counted for anything towards a relationship, lol.
    Say what you want ladies, looks do come first. Hot guys and players are rarely single.

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  • Good-looking guys definitely have the advantage.

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    • Yeah we do ;) but ehh... I'd rather find girls the legit way by conversation and flirting. Clubs and bars can be fun but slowly have i learned these girls are never serious about relationships. Eventually cheat on you or want to be in open relationships with im not into sharing MY WOMAN

  • Nope, you're still crazy. I'm an average dude (a bit above average when I keep up with the gym) who pulls but I'd take looking like that dude any day. Not even just for the fucking, universally attractive people are much more likely to get hired and a higher salary.

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