::cuts off music::
Um yeah, y'all... am I the only one who's totally #sadface about the whole entire premise of this thing, here?
I mean, I know some couples who live as though life has a scoreboard. They keep track of EVERYTHING. How many hours, minutes, and seconds did you spend on housework? Yeah, you totally bought gas the last 3 times, but I paid for the oil change, and that was $3 more in total! Aw shit, this restaurant costs $7 more than last week's, let's fight about it!
This is... not how you win at life.
Life doesn't have a scoreboard. Keeping track of every little minute thing can only lead to misery. I mean, srsly, y'all. The hell's the goal of all this cosmic accounting, here? Even if you get yr balance sheets to match up, penny for penny, once you depreciate the cost of that dress across a useful life of 10 dates... so what? What do you win?
Certainly not any sort of harmony in the relationship!
Do you win peace of mind? ... if so, is yr peace of mind really THAT fragile, and dependent upon such trivialities?
And I mean, this take is almost worse, in a way, because it's tallying up the imaginary scoreboard for a relationship that DOESN'T EVEN EXIST YET.
It's ALREADY assuming that it's you VERSUS him. That you have a balance sheet, with 2 opposing columns. That yr playing a game that's zero sum.
... Not how you win at life.
The way you win at life is to stay in touch with yr feelings, and, if you start to feel slighted or marginalized... hey, there's this tool, called spoken language. Conversation. It's a cool thing.
I mean, people are just all over the place, on this money issue. Some people thrive on generosity, and will actually be slighted if you DON'T let them pay. Others thrive on a sense of balance and equity, and need to feel like each party is contributing his or her equal share.
This is not a "right" or "wrong" thing. It's just... a thing. The way you feel about this issue is the way you feel about this issue.
You should just follow yr instincts. If you are totally incompatible, you'll find that out pretty soon. If not... just go with the damn flow, until if and when someone starts to feel resentment.
If no resentment, then, win.
If resentment, then, talk about it, and figure out how to adjust.
But for God's sake, life does not have a scorecard. If you keep score like that, BOTH of you will lose.