When A First Date Never Happens - The Ideal Relationship

Now it might be my age but nothing sounds worse to me than a first date in fact if you were to ask me what my relationship wish is, it would be probably to skip from the first meeting to the comfortable silences and knowledgeable glances that form the backbone of many a happy relationship. It would be one Saturday afternoon summed up by her asking "Whose turn is it to pick up the kids from soccer practice?" and me replying "Kids - Soccer practice - I suppose that makes you my girlfriend now".

When A First Date Never Happens - The Ideal Relationship

Some people love the early rush of a relationship, the passion but to me there is also the hidden variables of drama, possible relationship failure or even going back to the very start possible rejection. I often say I am shy but I am not, I just can't be bothered to go through all that. I much prefer to meet someone and somewhere along the line realise we have a connection maybe ending up in a relationship. There is a duality to my thinking with any of my girlfriends I don't think I ever had an official "First Date" but I hope I had the intention of having many "First Dates" in our relationships as we experienced many firsts together but a lot more instinctively than planned dates.

As I say in a lot of my takes there are often a lot of people who feel different about it than me, I have no problem with that, go for it, do your own thing. I just know from experience, I am not a flirter, a chaser of women, a guy straight out of a rom-com. I am just a guy who is myself and doesn't apologise for it who is totally honest with a girl, if that is what she wants, she is in the wrong place for things like "First Dates". I tend to get into relationships by accident and thankfully there are have been a few girls who haven't seemed to mind the way I was. Before I give the impression that I am the Ebeneezer Scrooge of romance, I would be very romantic, faithful and loyal but just in my own way. I won't buy out a florists on Valentine's day but I might remember the thing she said she liked from the month before ( Remember in Friends when Chandler got Joey a first edition of "The Velveteen Rabbit" for Cathy on her birthday because he had heard her say that was her favourite book from childhood and we all went "Awwww" )

So again I skirted a bit outside the rules for this competition but in a roundabout way - It is my take and feelings on a non "First Date" and concentrating more on the beauty of long lasting love.


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What Girls Said 7

  • oh my gosh i love this...
    such a loss... such a shame that we lost this user :(

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  • Lovely, I am so happy to see you on here, you never fail to put a smile on my face.

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    • Oh no that is a lot of pressure for the future to keep that lovely smile on your very pretty face

    • Why thank you sir, you're doing a pretty good job so far haha.

  • Loved this - Especially the idea of experiencing "firsts" together, rather than an awkward first date.

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  • 😊😊😊😊😊

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  • I agree with you but there is something to be said for the rush of the anticipated first date and the hopes that it will be the first of many firsts. Yes, making it last is more important than the fluttery first date jitters when "HE" finally asks you out but I wish I haven't become so old or so hurt that I can't experience that lost in the moment feeling and the OMG I can't wait, tonight's the night excitement I did when I was younger and more neive. Yes, yes, yes, he broke my heart but I do remember that first date.

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  • Very nice, touching! Loved reading it. Thank you!!!

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  • Great Take as usual!! I always love reading your takes !! :)

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What Guys Said 5

  • I love your interpretation of love.

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  • Well first dates are about testing for compatibility

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    • I suppose that is very true but I commented I was lucky from the point of view of my personality that in all the relationship I had, they developed out of friendships/ being acquaintances rather than official first dates.

  • u are not married, sir?

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  • You are my fave person on here sir

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  • You sound like a guy who's really honest, caring and direct - but women need to find that out, right? That's why first dates exist - not to prove a point but make sure the person on the other side fits the bill for what you're looking for and to - and this is something that took me years to realise and internalise - relax and have fun!!

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    • Thank you for your thoughts and advice

    • maybe its because he is all that, he hasn't been married yet, women are horrible people, even the ugliest ones keep ridiculously high standards for men, if this guy can't get a woman, i am dieing an involuntarily celibate for sure

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