5 Signs He's Just Not Into You

You've met this guy. You seem to have hit it off. He's all that you think about. It's not long before you find yourself infatuated with him. All seems good to the ears, but there's one huge question that you still don't have an answer to, "Is this guy really into you (romantically) or is he being polite because he doesn't want to hurt your feelings by telling you he has no interest?"

5 Signs He's Just Not Into You

Guys that are not into you may exhibit some if not all of the behaviors listed below:

1. Contact seems like a one way street.

A. He rarely ever initiates contact.

Although he always seems to answer, you find yourself having to do most of the initiation of contact.
You've probably tried to test things out and have gone days without contacting this guy of your choice. You notice that if you do not call or text him, he rarely will ever do the same for you.
The fact that there is no reciprocation is what remains the most upsetting.
A guy that has interest in you, will make an effort to speak to you.
Sure, there will be days where he is busy and may not respond as quickly as you want, but his effort will be shown.
If the President can set time aside to make personal phone calls, why can't he?
After all, it only takes up so much of one's time to let them know how you're doing and ask them how is their day.

Someone stating otherwise is most always making an excuse for themselves.

No one is ever so busy, that they don't have a few minutes to spare.

B. Ignores or takes a very long time to get back to your calls/texts.

As previously mentioned, it's understandable that this guy may be busy but taking days to weeks to reply back to your text or phonecall, screams the words "I am not interested."
Remember, someone that's crushing on you will not put you on their backburner.
They'll be anxious to get in contact with you, instead of "just getting around to it."
If a guy uses the excuse that he was too busy to get back to you, you have to ask yourself, "Am I convinced by what he is telling me?"
People can be busy but there comes a point where it's clear to see, that this person is full of excuses, especially when they do so repeatedly.
In this generation, there's no way possible someone goes days without looking or glancing at their phone.

2. Deprioritizes you.

A. Does not make plans with you.

You both have casual conversations, but he has never expressed that he wants to see you.
Someone that is interested in building a relationship grows tired of texting or calling after a while, they want to see you in the flesh. They miss you! They want to build on what could potentially be.
The fact that he hasn't even brought up getting together with you, shows his lack of interest.

B. Makes plans with you but usually cancels.

It's understandable when plans get broken. Sometimes it's inevitable to avoid that possibility.
However, the guy of your choice seems to cancel on a regular basis. Something always comes up.
"What a weird concidence.", you tell yourself. Something always happens on the day that you and your guy were supposed to meet.
Newsflash! If something seems fishy to you, chances are something is not right!
Do not allow yourself to be blinded by the infatuation you have for this person.
I know you want this guy to like you back just as much,
but it's clear to see you're not on his list of priorities.
If you were, things wouldn't "suddenly come up" each and every single time.

C. Makes plans with you but sex is always involved.

This guy of choice is the polar opposite from guys (A) and (B), he actually keeps his plans.
However, your plans always lead up to you both having sex or him trying to gravitate things towards that direction.
Sure, this wouldn't matter to you if you were only looking for sex, but as previously stated you want a guy that is looking for a committed relationship.
There's no doubt that this guy "just wants to be into you"....... into your vagina that is.
As flattering as this may be for some, it isn't for you because you are at a point in life, where you want someone that's into you both physically and emotionally.

3. Conversation.

A. Mostly talks about other women.

Some men may use this as a strategy to alert the woman they are talking with, that they better act fast because they have competition. However, this is a huge turn off and works the opposite in most cases. A woman is most likely to infer you're not into her. She won't even think she has missed out because it's clear from your own mouth that, you have tons of options. So, would you even notice or care if she were to fade away?
If a guy is really into a girl has much as he says, he will see that this is doing him a huge injustice. The behavior of constantly speaking about other women, or checking them out (directly in front of this girl), reinforces the negative stigma that, "All men are dogs". Once a woman begins to get that impression it won't be long before she's heading for the door.
On the other hand, some men don't use "talking about other women as a strategy". They are straight forward, they have no filter and nothing to hide. They want you to be aware of what you are getting yourself into . They're at a time in their life, where they're looking to get laid as much as possible, you just happen to be one of those women that they want in that way
Are you okay with this or not? If you're looking for a committed relationship, you might want to look the other way.

B. Mostly talks about sex.

We as humans are sexual beings. If we are not having sex, chances are we are at least thinking about it. It's okay to have sex on your mind or imagine how things will be intimately with someone you find physically attractive. However, if this is always the main topic of discussion or if this guy spends a reasonable amount of time talking about sex then it's clear to see that is all he is after.
Someone that is just getting to know you, will most likely steer clear from the sex topic for a while.
When they decide to introduce it, it will not take up a great majority of your conversation together.

C. Encourages you to date other people.

Someone that sees you in the same way you see them, would want you to themselves. He wouldn't want you to explore relationships with other people.
What happens when you find something/someone special?
You want to have it, you want to hold on to it.
Chances are, he doesn't see you in that light.
Even if he does, he realizes that he is at a stage in his life where he is not ready for a major commitment.
Although heartbreaking, this isn't necessarily bad.
It's great he is very self-aware.
You don't want someone giving you false impressions, wasting your time, or stringing you along.
The sooner you find out he is not into you, the quicker you can move on.

4. Shows no affection.

Some guy's are inexperienced, from this viewpoint it's understandable that showing affection would not come natural to these types of men. This may be something they have to work on doing.
Overtime, it's expected that a guy gets to the point where he is comforable enough to express some type of physical emotion whether that be (holding hands, kissing, touching, or cuddling with you). If you've known this guy for a long while and he still has not reached this point, then something else is going on.
Perhaps, you'll try to take the initiative and push for some affection. However, if he fails to reciporate it or pushes you away then it's clear to see he has no desire for you.
There's a lot of reasons why this could be, maybe you're not his type, maybe he's healing from a past relationship, maybe he's interested in another person, etc.
If he speaks to you, as if you are just a friend, this is a huge indication that this is solely how he views you and nothing more.

5. He avoids you in public.

By chance, you happen to be at the same location as your guy of choice even though you did not make plans together. He seems to be associating with his friends, and with other girls. He clearly sees you, but pretends not to as he carries on paying his main attention to the person(s) he is with.
This is a definite red flag.
Someone that is into you, would not give you the cold shoulder.
Most likely, this guy may be telling you what you want to hear to keep you pleased, all while singing the same tune to his other lady. He's making a smart move on his end, because if he acknowledges you, he would blow his own cover. Instead, he chooses to ignore you to save himself.
If you question this, most likely he will try to cover himself up with a solid excuse that seems believable in your eyes. I'm telling you, don't believe it!

When someone truly cares for you, they won't put you through an emotional rollcoaster. Their intentions will be clear from the very get go, and you'll never have to question each and every move they make. Someone that wants to get to know you, pushes forward with both feet instead of keeping them planted on the ground. If someone doesn't make you feel worth their time, why should you make them feel worth yours?

People will only treat you the way you allow yourself to be treated.

Take care of yourself!

If you don't, then who will?


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Stacyzee is a GirlsAskGuys Editor
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What Guys Said 16

  • Can't say I've ever known any guys to be this way to a woman, or a woman who had experience with such men, but I can certainly say I do know what that's like on the flip side.

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  • Agreed

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  • I also spray holy water on a girl I'm not into to. I think that's a common sign.

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  • Yes, Yes, Yes. I do all of these things when I am not interested. They get the hint (s) eventually...

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  • Do not agree with the ones about contact IF the guy is she or has anxiety. I have anxiety and I dont contact ANYONE first.

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    • Whether you want to "believe" it or not there are those not interested who deliberately avoid contact.
      This may not be your reason but it's what tons of other guys do when they are not into a girl.
      To benefit yourself in the long run I'd try to find out what I can do to overcome my anxiety , it will only hold you back if you do nothing to control it.

      Remember, advice isn't always black and white.
      There's always a grey area where someone is the exception.

  • i disagree while this is all true but its different with every guy because we all have different personalities and we have our own ways of not showing interests. the way i show it is by just telling the girl how i feel instead of playing these games of responding a text later because either way who ever texts me i will answer as soon as i can even if i have no interest in that person

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    • Ignoring someone's calls or texts , constantly talking about other women or only inviting a woman only for sex, pushing them towards dating other instead of yourself , not acknowledging them when you are around friends , those are huge signs of no interest no matter what individual personality one has.
      It's great you directly tell women what you want , however there's plenty of people that are just as straight forward as you but neglect their relationship with these so called women of interest.

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    • i find it strange for someone to have someone number and just ignore them i mean what is the point of having someone number if you don't like too speak with the person. i have so many girls in my phone because i like speaking to them but i never go further than a date because i have no interest. if a girl shows interest i will just say i see you as a friend but good luck on finding someone and if you want me to stop talking to you so you can move on i can understand. simple as that

    • Yea it's simple but some people like to mislead others and play these games you speak of.
      I really wish some people would just come outright and say it, it's better than dragging someone along.

  • Pretty good article. I think this works for ANYONE who isn't interested. I'm seeing these signs like crazy from a lot of the nearby girls around my age (Minus wanting sex from me).

    I would add that it seems like they only sped time with you because they expect you to do something for them, then that's not interest.

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  • MyTake on point

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  • Well... this seems legit. Goodjob on the take

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  • I'm surprise you didn't use this picture:

    resizing.flixster.com/.../11168871_ori.jpg

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    • Is this a movie or real life not into's not too much into Hollywood "news" but if that's a movie that gonna be too costly n stuff

    • Yeah , I've never heard of this movie lol

  • No one is ever so busy, that they don't have a few minutes to spare.

    Ha ha ha oh thats a good one so inexperienced

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    • Your childish. -looks at your age- okay , it figures! More like 15 minus 10 based on your toddler out lash, and the inability to express yourself in a constructive manner.

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    • Captain save a hoe , I see you haven't left your cape. You have something on your lips, perhaps it's his sperm!

    • You failed to see this take goes beyond just someone not replying on one given day , I tried to explain but judging by your response I'd be wasting my time because it's clear your brain lacks the ability to comprehend.

  • No 1 & 2 sound exactly like trying to set up a visit with the sister in law as to see my nephews and nieces. 😦

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    • Lol. Well schedules are necessary some people have kids, work, go to school, other activities (that take up time), etc.
      I wish I was a teen where I had no responsibilities again!

    • Yes but her family comes and goes as they please where I'm lucky to see then once per year and they live 1/2 mile from my parents who I visit twice a month. Not just me but my other siblings as well. Had to give up trying to see them for their birthdays.

    • Wow, that sucks :(

  • Straight off the bat, I have to disagree with part 1 (A).

    I tend to think that women should at least take up 60% of the conversation, and that includes texts and calls. All women want is for a man to listen, as soon as the conversation shifts 60% man and 40% woman, she'll get bored.

    I do agree with 1 (B).

    If he's making "casual conversation" but doesn't make plans, he could be shy. I'm quite shy, especially with girls I really like, so trying to make plans with her is close to impossible :P

    I agree with 2 (B) and (C) :)

    The rest of the Take is spot on.

    On the flip side, this could be a "5 signs she's not into you".

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  • Good Take. You could just as easily say '5 signs *they* are just not into you' because all this rings true for girlstoo.

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    • I know :)
      All a person has to do is replace the word "He" with "She".
      This really goes for anyone!

  • part 3 and 4 helped me understand why all women leave. why can't i find a woman who is not eventually into some exclusivity egotistical bullshit? i say to all women that they are free to fuck whomever they want and that there is no such thing as someone belonging to someone else... .

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  • Great take as usual

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What Girls Said 16

  • its a very true and a great take! good job

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  • this is a good guide

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  • This is fairly true good take

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  • Great take- agreed with everything

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  • I love this article.

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  • All true.. I met a player who did or say those things...

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  • Does this apply to shy guys too?

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    • Yes, it does.
      As a person that used to be shy myself , I understand we take a while to come around due to our own fear or over thinking.
      However , shy people eventually get to a place with a person where they become comfortable enough to be themselves.
      Constant exposure to the person aids in their process of being able to open up.
      When they get to this point, their shyness no longer over takes them.
      If they're still showing no indication that they like you after knowing you for a while this would strike me as them not having any interest.

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    • okayy.. thank you so much! you really helped me :D

    • <3 <3 Best wishes! I hope it works out for you.

  • @stacyzee I can relate to "he realizes that he is at a stage in his life where he is not ready for a major commitment.
    Although heartbreaking, this isn't necessarily bad.
    It's great he is very self-aware."

    As I'm in a situation that he is into me but he is not ready for commitment.. he told me when he is ready he will be committing to me. He said he doesn't know how long will it take and he is afraid I will miss out on my chances.

    He is affectionate with PDA and takes me to his circle regularly (not works or family) he make plans with me and no sex involved. Takes me out and always pay for things. He also always come and pick me up and drop me off. Once he ordered something for me online and expressed posted to him then he surprised me with it.

    We were in 6 months relationship, then he broke up with me but we didn't have any break in between.. we are back to dating.. and he said what I quoted above.. so you can say we are togtehr for 8 months..

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    • It's a very confusing situation for me.. what do you think of his self awareness? Is the situation hopeless?

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    • Agree, it's good that he suggested I can date other guys who are ready for commitment, I know its not easy for him to say that. but time is money...

    • So true, it is !

  • Agree. Very clear. Very nicely said.

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  • Omg this describes that MOPED that didn't get the message.

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  • so true and sad

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  • Great take! c:

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  • I agree with all of them. Another important sign that a guy isn't interested is that you have never met his friends. If he doesn't introduce you to his friends you can be sure he doesn't see you as girlfriend material.

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    • Most definitely ! Great addition.
      I think number 5 may be fitting to that category in some way.

  • WOW!!! And I really felt like he was the one for me like it was the real deal! 😔😭😪 and he has flirted with me, made posts about me,

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  • Very Good Take, I agree 100%

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  • Great Take! I always value your Takes. 😊

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    • Thanks <3 that's a huge compliment.

    • You're welcome ! 😊. I mediate a lot on the things you write. They benefit me a lot. Thanks for that 💗

    • <3 <3 <3 I'm glad I can touch someone, no problem.

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